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Author Topic: Corrupt a wish!  (Read 1171919 times)

Mathel

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Re: Corrupt a wish!
« Reply #26685 on: March 14, 2019, 01:05:02 pm »

Granted. You are almost instantly crushed under a giant mountain of bagels. The effect stops once you die.

I wish that every time someone says the word "a", a tick dies.
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The shield beats the sword.
Urge to drink milk while eating steak wrapped with bacon rising...
Outer planes are not subject to any laws of physics that would prevent them from doing their job.
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pikachu17

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Re: Corrupt a wish!
« Reply #26686 on: March 14, 2019, 01:35:17 pm »

Checkmarks(icks) are no longer alive. Retroactively, in fact.

I wish that every time someone says the word "a", a parasite dies.
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Puppyguard

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Re: Corrupt a wish!
« Reply #26687 on: March 14, 2019, 04:51:15 pm »

The genie scratches his chin for a moment. What defines a parasite? Something that lives off of others? Or something that doesn't return what is is given? The genie scratches his chin furiously. Perhaps every creature is a parasite, since it doesn't necessarily always give back to the universe. After thinking for what feels like an eternity, the genie grants your wish.

If anyone says the word "a", everything living will perish.


I wish wishes were less ambiguous.
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KittyTac

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Re: Corrupt a wish!
« Reply #26688 on: March 15, 2019, 07:01:36 am »

Granted. The unavailability of loopholes that could be used to corrupt the wishes in any meaningful way causes this thread to die. Eventually, somebody wishes for that wish to be undone.

I wish for kittens.
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King Zultan

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Re: Corrupt a wish!
« Reply #26689 on: March 15, 2019, 07:28:31 am »

Granted, you get kittens, you get so many kittens you suffocate under all the kittens.

I wish KittyTac would wish for something other than kittens.
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The Lawyer opens a briefcase. It's full of lemons, the justice fruit only lawyers may touch.
Make sure not to step on any errant blood stains before we find our LIFE EXTINGUSHER.
but anyway, if you'll excuse me, I need to commit sebbaku.
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KitRougard

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Re: Corrupt a wish!
« Reply #26690 on: March 15, 2019, 07:33:56 am »

Granted. KittyTac finally admits his Eldrich heritage and wishes for the death of the gods of the universe, so he can replace him. Catsplosions are impending. EVERYWHERE.

I wish for puppies
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Mathel

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Re: Corrupt a wish!
« Reply #26691 on: March 15, 2019, 10:14:17 am »

Granted. Wishes are now extremely specific, making them extremely difficult to corrupt.

I wish that at the moment this wish is granted, "Zap energy" is defined according to the (Zap) code and also the following 2 statements become true.

Any time I say "By my ruinous hand!", a beam of "Zap energy" shoots out of the front end of my right humerus, trough my right wrist.
The beam is emmited for exactly 1 second and has 100N of force.

Code: (Zap) [Select]
"Zap energy" travels at the speed of light, relative to the source at the moment it was emitted.
"Zap energy" travels in a straight line, regardless of any energy fields it passes trough.
"Zap energy" is absorbed by metals.
"Zap energy" has the interactions specified in (interactions) code.
"Zap energy" particles have 0 stationary mass.
"Zap energy" has momentum.
Any object emitting "Zap energy" is pushed with the same force that would be applied to a feromagnetic metal that is hit with it, but in the opposite direction

Code: (interactions) [Select]
Paramagnetic or feromagnetic metal: Pushed in the direction the "Zap energy" travels
Any other metal: Random currents induced
Anything else: No interaction


Edit: I missed a page!


Granted. KittyTac finally admits his Eldrich heritage and wishes for the death of the gods of the universe, so he can replace him. Catsplosions are impending. EVERYWHERE.

I wish for puppies

Granted. You get all the puppies from everywhere else. Dog owners are not happy and neither are wolves. Your house is overrun with all sorts of puppies, all of which die from squishing.
« Last Edit: March 15, 2019, 10:17:21 am by Mathel »
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The shield beats the sword.
Urge to drink milk while eating steak wrapped with bacon rising...
Outer planes are not subject to any laws of physics that would prevent them from doing their job.
Better than the heavenly host eating your soul.

Superdorf

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Re: Corrupt a wish!
« Reply #26692 on: March 15, 2019, 11:57:49 am »

Granted. Your "zap energy" works exactly as you wanted it to... but pretty soon the government gets wind of your newfound power, and you find yourself whisked away for various military researches, most of which are unpleasant and all of which are tedious. Enjoy the next twenty years!

I wish for a two-foot mustache.

Your house is overrun with all sorts of puppies, all of which die from squishing.
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methylatedspirit

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Re: Corrupt a wish!
« Reply #26693 on: March 15, 2019, 12:09:12 pm »

Your two-foot mustache frees itself from your face and decides to become a bipedal organism despite its total lack of a nervous system. The only thing that it (and you) can feel is pain.

I wish that all batteries were rechargeable.
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King Zultan

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Re: Corrupt a wish!
« Reply #26694 on: March 16, 2019, 04:36:31 am »

Granted, all batteries can be recharged, but they still have a chance to explode.

I wish that everyone was given one thousand dogs.
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The Lawyer opens a briefcase. It's full of lemons, the justice fruit only lawyers may touch.
Make sure not to step on any errant blood stains before we find our LIFE EXTINGUSHER.
but anyway, if you'll excuse me, I need to commit sebbaku.
Quote from: Leodanny
Can I have the sword when you’re done?

wierd

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Re: Corrupt a wish!
« Reply #26695 on: March 16, 2019, 04:41:16 am »

Granted.  They just happen to be hotdogs.  Expired hotdogs, to be precise.  The number of people developing food poisoning spikes dramatically.

I wish my charges at work would stop being douche canoes.
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TD1

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Re: Corrupt a wish!
« Reply #26696 on: March 16, 2019, 08:49:27 am »

Granted. They are now kayaks.

I wish Eriugena's neoplatonic model had been more widely read.
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Mathel

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Re: Corrupt a wish!
« Reply #26697 on: March 16, 2019, 09:40:10 am »

Granted. But even fewer people now understand it than before.

I wish for wierd's charges to roman galleys.
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The shield beats the sword.
Urge to drink milk while eating steak wrapped with bacon rising...
Outer planes are not subject to any laws of physics that would prevent them from doing their job.
Better than the heavenly host eating your soul.

CABL

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Re: Corrupt a wish!
« Reply #26698 on: March 24, 2019, 03:59:34 am »

Granted, but since your grammar is messed up, I'll use genie's linguistic literal interpretation: wierd attaches C4 charges to roman galleys, blowing them up.

I wish for a Swedish banana pizza.
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Pounded in the Butt by my own Government... oh wait, that's real life.

Much less active than I used to be on these forums, but I still visit them on occasion. Will probably resume my activity in full once Dwarf Fortress will be released on Steam.

thompson

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Re: Corrupt a wish!
« Reply #26699 on: March 24, 2019, 05:52:19 pm »

Granted. You are given a pizza from Sweden made entirely of banana. It is sent to your address via post.

I wish for total extinction of all life on earth.
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