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Where shall Cog do next

Wait a year for winter and attempt an ocean crossing to Elf island
Head to the Southwestern Savannah / Unknown Civilizations beyond

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Author Topic: Cog the blind Drunk  (Read 42071 times)

TempAcc

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Re: Cog the blind Drunk
« Reply #60 on: June 08, 2015, 09:33:26 am »

I now have a mental image of cog accidentaly knocking the elf over and being all like "oh I'm terribly sorry, uh, *pat pat pat* mister elf"
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NW_Kohaku

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Re: Cog the blind Drunk
« Reply #61 on: June 08, 2015, 01:46:35 pm »

I now have a mental image of cog accidentaly knocking the elf over and being all like "oh I'm terribly sorry, uh, *pat pat pat* mister elf"

Cog: "Hmm..." *pat pat pat stroke stroke stroke* "Yeah, jute fiber is nice, but me, I'm a pig tail underwear man."

Sanera: "Now I see why the other elves ran away..."
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Personally, I like [DF] because after climbing the damned learning cliff, I'm too elitist to consider not liking it.
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klefenz

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Re: Cog the blind Drunk
« Reply #62 on: June 09, 2015, 03:27:43 am »

Any dwarf can tell jute from pig tail by smell only.

NW_Kohaku

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Re: Cog the blind Drunk
« Reply #63 on: June 09, 2015, 11:26:42 am »

Any dwarf can tell jute from pig tail by smell only.

... that's... not helping...

Cog: *sniff. sniff-sniff.*  Nuzzles up close and *SNIIIFFFFS* "Yeah, that's some jute.  And yah ain't been using soap, neither, heh heh heh, just like an elf."
Senaca: "I NEED AN ADULT!"
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Personally, I like [DF] because after climbing the damned learning cliff, I'm too elitist to consider not liking it.
"And no Frankenstein-esque body part stitching?"
"Not yet"

Improved Farming
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Dunamisdeos

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Re: Cog the blind Drunk
« Reply #64 on: June 09, 2015, 12:21:35 pm »

Any dwarf can tell jute from pig tail by smell only.

... that's... not helping...

Cog: *sniff. sniff-sniff.*  Nuzzles up close and *SNIIIFFFFS* "Yeah, that's some jute.  And yah ain't been using soap, neither, heh heh heh, just like an elf."
Senaca: "I NEED AN ADULT!"

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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bahihs

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Re: Cog the blind Drunk
« Reply #65 on: June 09, 2015, 03:53:18 pm »

Cog caught a peregrine falcon, tearing off its wings with his teeth before it had really died.

I love how utterly random and effortless it is in this game to catch what is noted as one of the fastest birds in reality.  LOL DF.

You can easily defeat an elephant in a fist-fight if you're patient enough lol

lol why is patience the key characteristic to defeating an elephant? I can just imagine years of psychological torture and mind games until one of you just takes their own life.
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Loud Whispers

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Re: Cog the blind Drunk
« Reply #66 on: June 09, 2015, 04:47:10 pm »

Bay12: A dozen posts have been spent theorizing ways a dwarf can identify what the material an elf's underwear is made of without eyesight.

I largely suspect this is an oversight that blind Dwarves can identify everything, including things like skin, hair and eye colour. Or maybe Dwarves just have ways, like martial trances, or bookkeepers, to know things just because they can. Granted, blind Dwarves can see everything on the tile they're standing on, to simulate being able to 'see' objects and such through touch. The implication being, the longer Cog stays in any one elven retreat, the greater the odds of him being arrested by an administrator for sexual harassment.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Cog and Onget made their way from Senaca's tree to another retreat to the east, some place called Drunkenmuddles or something. The Elves may have had a drinking tree, but wherever it was they were hiding it from Cog and Onget. However, along the way the Dwarves did find some elven archers talking about all the great beasts they had knowledge of roaming the wilds. They were both trying to get the other to kill great megabeasts.
Cog asked one of them if they'd like to join them on their adventures. One obliged.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
The other saw the life of patrolling, not as boring - but as safe, choosing to stay behind.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
I was somewhat concerned that there was a fair chance that an elf that was willing to join two Dwarves on an adventure before even knowing their names was stark raving mad or melancholic, but as it turns out Quathari Toothbride was just near-fatally bored of life in the forest retreats and wished to see more of the world. I suppose when you're immortal you have a lot of free time and eventually run out of things to do.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Traveling before dawn, the three adventurers made it to a home tree just as the sun was reaching over the horizon. Cog couldn't see what the home tree was, find a way in, or hear anyone talking atop it - and Onget and Quathari were lousy at describing what it looked like.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
So they went to the nearest other landmark, which turned out to be a market. Which was great, as Cog was just looking for a market - and had accidentally stumbled upon one in the twilight of dawn.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
A few early-rising Elves chatted amongst themselves as the two dwarves and the one elf archer approached.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Bins stacked full of mangoes were laid out in rows. On further inspection of the market, Cog came to the realization that everything was mangoes.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
An elf on the far side of the market, quickly realizing that Cog was not eying his mangoes but was instead looking at those of a rival, began shouting for attention.
This kickstarted the mass-awakening of the entire market of mango.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Mangos here, limited supply! Mangoes here, very cheap! There were even doctors professing the health benefits of mangoes - mangoes they sold!
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Though I do question the marketing strategy of just shouting mango... It was certainly loud. One unified mass of elves selling mangoes.
The mangoes certainly smelled great and would be a valuable food to bring on the journey as they were light, and probably full of essential vitamins (as the elf doctor said). There was the issue that Quarithi's people didn't use currency, as far as Cog could tell, but this wasn't a problem as Cog had no money anyways. With that said however, Cog didn't really have that much to sell at all either. The last trade goods he had (some fancy clothes) were traded for the silver warhammer, and he certainly was not going to give up his hammer or his clothes for some blasted mangoes.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
So he traded what he could; the last of his stingray meat, a portion of badger meat, and all for an equal portion of mangoes. An authentic dwarven-crafted piece of sharp rock was also thrown in on top of the deal, though it didn't make much of a difference either way. That is also the story of how the Elf named Alala became the first elf to sell something other than mangoes. And so Alala had the privilege of being the only elf to be shouting 'authentic honey badger meat' amidst a torrent of 'mango!'
I should hope that Alala manages to maintain his new business on selling something that isn't mango.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Went to a shaping tree, couldn't tell what it was or where it was and so just left for the north.
There was a wide expanse of forests and brooks, but the journey was calm - there did not seem to be many things other than the occasional dragon in these forests. For a moment it even seemed as if there weren't elves.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Sure enough though, the adventurers made it deeper into the heart of elven civilization. If the market there also sells nothing but mangoes I will be convinced that mangoes are in fact their unit of currency.

Alfrodo

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Re: Cog the blind Drunk
« Reply #67 on: June 09, 2015, 05:11:54 pm »


Sigging this.
Bins stacked full of mangoes were laid out in rows. On further inspection of the market, Cog came to the realization that everything was mangoes.
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Bins stacked full of mangoes were laid out in rows. On further inspection of the market, Cog came to the realization that everything was mangoes.

Graknorke

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Re: Cog the blind Drunk
« Reply #68 on: June 09, 2015, 05:36:38 pm »

mangoes
Fucking hell that was wonderful.
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Alfrodo

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Re: Cog the blind Drunk
« Reply #69 on: June 09, 2015, 08:48:43 pm »

What's Cog's inventory?
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Bins stacked full of mangoes were laid out in rows. On further inspection of the market, Cog came to the realization that everything was mangoes.

Aseaheru

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Re: Cog the blind Drunk
« Reply #70 on: June 09, 2015, 11:52:12 pm »

I imagine that some of it is mangos.
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NJW2000

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Re: Cog the blind Drunk
« Reply #71 on: June 10, 2015, 02:13:07 am »

If the market there also sells nothing but mangoes I will be convinced that mangoes are in fact their unit of currency.

So if they do nothing but try to buy stuff and exchange goods for money... they must be...

ELVEN BANKERS!

All the drowning chambers we can make will not be enough to end this evil. :(
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klefenz

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Re: Cog the blind Drunk
« Reply #72 on: June 10, 2015, 08:28:39 am »

If the market there also sells nothing but mangoes I will be convinced that mangoes are in fact their unit of currency.

In Argentina and other countries "mango" is a colloquial word for meony.

TempAcc

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Re: Cog the blind Drunk
« Reply #73 on: June 10, 2015, 08:37:40 am »

Argentinean elves, dear God.
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NJW2000

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Re: Cog the blind Drunk
« Reply #74 on: June 10, 2015, 09:35:38 am »

Argentinian elves. Banker elves. Argentinian banker elves.
THE FORESTS MUST BURN.

Wait, what's wrong with Argentinian elves? I mean for the elves, I can see why the Argentinians wouldn't want to associate with smelly tree people.
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