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Author Topic: Stop Uwe Boll  (Read 5082 times)

qwertyuiopas

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Re: Stop Uwe Boll
« Reply #15 on: May 04, 2008, 06:30:00 pm »

quote:
Originally posted by Bien:
Quick! Sign the petition before he makes a bad Dwarf Fortress movie!
[ April 29, 2008: Message edited by: Bien ][/QB]

How could anyone make a bad Dwarf Fortress movie?
Other than a combination of:
-making peace with the elves
-deleting all hostile creatures from the raws
-not killing anything
OR
-all dwarves surviving 100 years

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Trollvottel

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Re: Stop Uwe Boll
« Reply #16 on: May 05, 2008, 06:02:00 am »

Erm ... judging from Boll's previous efforts, a bad DF movie would probably have ...

a) a fairly funny intro with snappy dialogue
b) insanely expensive actors
c) an insanely cheap script
d) 90 minutes of insanely expensive actors not even pretending to care about the script, running around on an extremely expensive set which still manages to look unconvincing and cheap.

For Boll, btw, it is no great deal to deviate from the original IP if he likes one of his own ideas better. So probably we'd get a DF movie which is mostly about parties, with some battle scenes (watch that woodcutter and his three dogs fight a Kobold!), a love affair between the elf diplomat and your mayor, a mysterious ring which gets stolen by an invisible kobold and later recovered by Bolbi the Hibbot, and an ending that doesn't matter because everyone falls asleep first.

[ May 05, 2008: Message edited by: Trollvottel ]

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Kagus

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Re: Stop Uwe Boll
« Reply #17 on: May 06, 2008, 12:30:00 pm »

While we're at it, can we stop Quentin Tarantino?   I know he generally doesn't do game-related stuff, but still...

Capntastic

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Re: Stop Uwe Boll
« Reply #18 on: May 08, 2008, 09:25:00 pm »

quote:
Originally posted by Kagus:
<STRONG>While we're at it, can we stop Quentin Tarantino?   I know he generally doesn't do game-related stuff, but still...</STRONG>

Shut your mouth, Reservoir Dogs and Pulp Fiction are serious works of film art.

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Kagus

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Re: Stop Uwe Boll
« Reply #19 on: May 08, 2008, 09:33:00 pm »

Abstract?

Capntastic

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Re: Stop Uwe Boll
« Reply #20 on: May 09, 2008, 02:12:00 am »

Besmirch not the Tarantino.
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Kagus

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Re: Stop Uwe Boll
« Reply #21 on: May 09, 2008, 02:30:00 pm »

Just because I'm feeling argumentative, I'm going to continue this.  Quentin Tarantino is a psychotic little boy who pays other people to skin his squirrels for him.  He then films it, splices it in random places, and makes millions of dollars from people who I will never understand.

I cannot listen to "stuck in the middle with you" without remembering that dreadful film and feeling dirty from the recollection of having actually watched that filth.

Mind you, it's not the gore that gets me.  It's not the grime, blood, guts, or even the piercing screams.  It's the utter pointlessness of it all.  He makes movies that serve no purpose other than to provide him with more on-screen suffering to cackle that weird little laugh of his at.  Art?  I suppose it's art, in the same way that Andres Serrano's work is art.  It's art because it exists only to prove that the artist had the freedom and ability to make something terrible and get people to kiss his feet for it.  It is the physical depiction of complete freedom of speech.

I have not yet been able to fathom why so many people revere him the way that they do, and I pride myself on being able to understand the reasoning behind viewpoints I don't agree with.


I don't like Tarantino's films, and I don't like Tarantino.  Simple as that.

Torak

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Re: Stop Uwe Boll
« Reply #22 on: May 10, 2008, 12:44:00 am »

Why don't we just get rid of all those terrible Directors who call Snuff films Horror and get millions of dollars and recognition for making a two hour torture film?


I'm talk about you, Hostel and Saw.

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Kagus

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Re: Stop Uwe Boll
« Reply #23 on: May 10, 2008, 01:06:00 am »

And Saw II, and Saw III, and aren't they making a fourth one?

Capntastic

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Re: Stop Uwe Boll
« Reply #24 on: May 10, 2008, 01:17:00 am »

quote:
Originally posted by Kagus:
<STRONG>Words</STRONG>

Someone who paints a picture of murder is a murderer by proxy, then, is what you're saying?  Regardless, he seems to have evoked quite a strong feeling from you, so in that I'd say he succeeded pretty well.

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Kagus

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Re: Stop Uwe Boll
« Reply #25 on: May 10, 2008, 01:38:00 am »

No, I'm saying that he's amusing himself by portraying senseless violence.  There is no reason for it, no meaning behind it, and no plot strung through it.  I'm not sure where you got the 'murderer by proxy' thing from.

Violence is one thing.  It can be poignant, it can be powerful, it can further a story, it can evoke strong feelings for or against the character performing the violent acts.  Senseless violence is something else, and it evokes feelings of annoyance, disgust, or boredom towards the maker of the film.  Humorous violence is yet another aspect, wherein it is meant to either convey a joke or simply entertain through absurdity.  Somehow, Tarantino managed to portray excessive and absurd violence without giving it humor.  It thus became the empty husk that is senseless violence.

Certainly, there is the argument that by evoking a strong emotion, they were well-made films.  I can see some reasoning behind that.  But I'm not going to watch or enjoy a film that makes me feel like I just wasted two or more hours of my life that would, in fact, have been better spent twiddling my thumbs.

Capntastic

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Re: Stop Uwe Boll
« Reply #26 on: May 10, 2008, 06:39:00 am »

Are you seriously saying Reservoir Dogs and Pulp Fiction have no plot?
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Kagus

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Re: Stop Uwe Boll
« Reply #27 on: May 10, 2008, 06:40:00 am »

I can only speak for Reservoir Dogs.  I haven't had the pleasure of viewing Pulp Fiction.
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