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Author Topic: What's going on in your fort?  (Read 5788527 times)

Derro

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #49440 on: January 30, 2017, 03:02:22 pm »

Combatshield endures.

The camels are everywhere. Shambling around, grunting through their rotten lungs, staring with those empty eye sockets. They know they can't get to the dwarves right now, but they bide their time.

After a... questionably successful attempt to get rid of the starving yaks before they animated, one dwarf got in a fight with undead yak head hair. The expedition leader, knowing he was beyond saving, sealed off workfloor #1. Even so, the doomed dwarf continues to fight, feebly striking at the hair with his pick. At least with this loss,

As the leader began to dug workfloor #2 (slogan: at least we're out of yaks), a miracle happened: three dwarves (plus a puppy, plus a mule foal) had braved miles of undead-infested terrain to reach this dwarvish outpost of questionable safety. They barely got inside before the camels were too close: the mule was deliberately left outside to prevent another yakpocalypse.

Now, the four remaining dwarves try to keep themselves alive. They try to ignore the rapidly shrinking food reserves, row of filled coffins, gruesome grunting from the mule-chasing camels, and muffled sounds of battle from below, hoping to make at least some attempt at trade with the caravan when it visits.
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MehMuffin

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #49441 on: January 30, 2017, 05:40:01 pm »

So today we confirmed that the militia was not in fact as well prepared for defense as I'd hoped.

Back to worldgen it is...
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ReynTheLord

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #49442 on: January 30, 2017, 05:58:54 pm »

So someone engraved this, basically

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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I am currently trying to comprehend what sick, mad, dwarven mind came up with the fortress name "Lancefondled", because it wasn't me.

ReynTheLord

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #49443 on: January 30, 2017, 08:03:02 pm »

Guess what.


Spoiler (click to show/hide)


Some fucker made this useless item.

Execution time
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I am currently trying to comprehend what sick, mad, dwarven mind came up with the fortress name "Lancefondled", because it wasn't me.

Eric Blank

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #49444 on: January 30, 2017, 10:56:07 pm »

Someone with a broken limb will be quite excited to have that tied to them.
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I make Spellcrafts!
I have no idea where anything is. I have no idea what anything does. This is not merely a madhouse designed by a madman, but a madhouse designed by many madmen, each with an intense hatred for the previous madman's unique flavour of madness.

Foxite

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #49445 on: January 31, 2017, 04:45:46 am »

At last, a goblin siege. I thought they were never gonna come.

Interestingly, right when they arrived, a goblin poet became involved in a fight which I don't know who started it. (He's dead now.) I was thinking about a loyalty cascade, but I have more goblin poets in my fort and none of them are fighting right now.

Update: I killed a few beak dogs and every invader ran away. This isn't the kind of fun I was hoping for. I should besiege them for pulling such a terrible act, but unfortunately that isn't possible in this version.
« Last Edit: January 31, 2017, 04:50:11 am by latias1290 »
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The best way to demonstrate it to him is take a save of 40 year old fortress with 150 dwarves in it on a good sized embark with a volcano that just breached the circus and install it on his gaming rig and watch it bring his rig to its knees.

Ironfang

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #49446 on: January 31, 2017, 07:21:47 am »

Just lost 3 of my speardwarves, two of which were spearmasters, to a giant cave spider. They were clad in full steel.

Literally shaken by the head until dead. It only took two goddamn stabs to kill the thing.

That's funny, I had a novice mechanic in leather take down a GCS all by himself after he got dragged down trying to set up a cage trap. He punched the spider until he knocked it out. He did need a miner to dig him out, but he was fine.

I actually might look into testing this. To see if leather armor might be better for fighting GCS, due to webs.
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Human King: "So, how was your travel to dwarven lands?"
Human Diplomat: "Never piss off the dwarves, they have an army of hydras"

Dwarf Cook: "Another baby hydra meat roast coming up!"

Alchemist

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #49447 on: January 31, 2017, 07:29:40 am »

Diary of Inod Likotamem, Mayor of Edtulon

1st Moonstone, 127

The overseer has acted odd today, and I cannot place my finger on why. No, not because it is gone, I have been fortunate in keeping all my limbs. I do, however, question the future of my safety considering how the overseer glares at me and mutters something along the lines of, "I'll show YOU a perigrine falcon bone table..." before moving on to... whatever he's currently doing.

It only worries me because his mumbling is not limited to odd things about tables, they include things about goblin sieges, about death, about what he's going to do to someone if something crashes again. We... do not have a minecart system in place at the moment, so I am unsure of what his issue may be with crashings. I would ask more, but he has locked everyone away. The bridge to the outside has been closed, keeping us away from the humans. I asked why originally when we were ushered in and he said something about, "being prepared for that little shit force this time instead of being surprised".

Has Armok delivered a vision to our overseer, or has he had one too many wood logs dropped on his head? I shall keep you updated, diary. For now, I must go to think about new furniture for my lavish yet empty rooms. Maybe a table....
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Rethi-Eli

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #49448 on: January 31, 2017, 07:46:59 am »

Just lost 3 of my speardwarves, two of which were spearmasters, to a giant cave spider. They were clad in full steel.

Literally shaken by the head until dead. It only took two goddamn stabs to kill the thing.

I just had an unarmed hauler beat one to death with his fists.

Huh.
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In the end, the winner is the one with the most snake venom.

DG

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #49449 on: January 31, 2017, 08:34:34 am »

Consult gamelog.txt?
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DG

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #49450 on: January 31, 2017, 10:34:00 am »

I wish my wardogs would bite.
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Foxite

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #49451 on: January 31, 2017, 12:28:21 pm »

Diary of Inod Likotamem, Mayor of Edtulon

1st Moonstone, 127

The overseer has acted odd today, and I cannot place my finger on why. No, not because it is gone, I have been fortunate in keeping all my limbs. I do, however, question the future of my safety considering how the overseer glares at me and mutters something along the lines of, "I'll show YOU a perigrine falcon bone table..." before moving on to... whatever he's currently doing.

It only worries me because his mumbling is not limited to odd things about tables, they include things about goblin sieges, about death, about what he's going to do to someone if something crashes again. We... do not have a minecart system in place at the moment, so I am unsure of what his issue may be with crashings. I would ask more, but he has locked everyone away. The bridge to the outside has been closed, keeping us away from the humans. I asked why originally when we were ushered in and he said something about, "being prepared for that little shit force this time instead of being surprised".

Has Armok delivered a vision to our overseer, or has he had one too many wood logs dropped on his head? I shall keep you updated, diary. For now, I must go to think about new furniture for my lavish yet empty rooms. Maybe a table....

That's hilarious. Please do more. Please?
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The best way to demonstrate it to him is take a save of 40 year old fortress with 150 dwarves in it on a good sized embark with a volcano that just breached the circus and install it on his gaming rig and watch it bring his rig to its knees.

anewaname

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #49452 on: January 31, 2017, 05:25:25 pm »

...perhaps I need more hunters or something to keep all the wild animals at bay. This is getting out of hand.
Extra hunters gets the job done faster and means there are more armed civilians. And when there is nothing to hunt, they will haul or whatever.
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How did I manage to successfully apply the lessons of The Screwtape Letters to my perceptions of big grocery stores?

Alchemist

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #49453 on: January 31, 2017, 05:26:41 pm »

Diary of Inod Likotamem, Mayor of Edtulon

1st Moonstone, 127

The overseer has acted odd today, and I cannot place my finger on why. No, not because it is gone, I have been fortunate in keeping all my limbs. I do, however, question the future of my safety considering how the overseer glares at me and mutters something along the lines of, "I'll show YOU a perigrine falcon bone table..." before moving on to... whatever he's currently doing.

It only worries me because his mumbling is not limited to odd things about tables, they include things about goblin sieges, about death, about what he's going to do to someone if something crashes again. We... do not have a minecart system in place at the moment, so I am unsure of what his issue may be with crashings. I would ask more, but he has locked everyone away. The bridge to the outside has been closed, keeping us away from the humans. I asked why originally when we were ushered in and he said something about, "being prepared for that little shit force this time instead of being surprised".

Has Armok delivered a vision to our overseer, or has he had one too many wood logs dropped on his head? I shall keep you updated, diary. For now, I must go to think about new furniture for my lavish yet empty rooms. Maybe a table....

That's hilarious. Please do more. Please?

Diary of Inod Likotamem, Mayor of Edtulon

10th of Hematite, 128

Things had been quiet in the fortress up until now, with our Overseer keeping to himself. The Fortress fell into a rhythm of farming, so our plant stocks are nicely full. The carpenter was never told to stop making wooden cages since my last entry, which I found odd, but it has helped him practice quite a bit. We also began to make steel bars, a welcome addition to any proper fortress. With our high dolomite stocks, I am confident that we can properly equip our military in full time.

Well, what's left of it. I don't wish to dance around the issue, but we had a.... goblin attack. Just as the overseer predicted. He burst into my office, kicking my nice door into my exquisite engraving of myself, and screamed,

"WHAT IN ARMOK'S NAME ARE YOU DOING?! GET EVERYONE INSIDE AND RAISE THE BRIDGE!"

I asked him why, and he walked over to me, grabbed me by the shoulders, and grinned.

"They... They're here. Finally, those fucking goblins are here. I won't let them escape this time, oh no I won't. They aren't going to kill as many of us as they did last time either!"

He had a wild look. It was disturbing. I was beginning to think he had snapped before Sazir Momuz, the militia commander, walked on in with his new shiny Steel Warhammer that the Overseer has requested be made.

"Ma'am, goblins over to the north-east," he said, looking on to this scene as if nothing odd was happening.

I looked back to our Overseer. His pure joy at the arrival of goblins was something I could not nor do not want to understand. I gave the order to have everyone come in, and for the bridge to be raised. As Sazir left, I looked to our Overseer. I had so many questions I wanted to ask. I wanted to know how he knew they were coming, why he wanted them here, what in Armok's name was happening here. However, I did not get the chance. He let go of me and ran off to go view the battle that soon began.

Most everyone made it inside before too long. Two dwarves idled too long and got shut out. One of them was right on the bridge before the lever was pulled. We have not yet found them. The other slept in the Inn with the humans the entire time. Two wrestlers were dumb enough to jump off the top of the battlements to go fight a couple of the goblins. They both died, taking one goblin with them, and we are seeking replacements for them.

After the goblins began to approach the front of the fortress, they were caught in a slew of cage traps. We caught three before we heard a retreat be called. Someone was obviously not having this, as the bridge was lowered and the military sent out. Sazir jumped off the roof to go towards the goblins that killed his allies. He must have landed on one of the little vile beasts, as his hammer is clean and there is a freshly dead goblin he can't explain. Sazir is a bit... Absent minded however.

The wrestlers made sure the goblins in the cages were secured, and one got away to the north. I heard a multitude of curses coming from the top of the fortress, obviously the Overseer. I cannot understand why he was upset, I only really picked up something along the lines of "WE ONLY CAUGHT THREE?! THIS IS PATHETIC!"

Most of our population is fine. We lost very little, and we shall make memorials to those we lost. I am looking at planning some extra defenses. The Overseer, meanwhile, is eyeing the Drop Tower and those goblins. I feel we may have some cleaning to do very shortly.

Until next time, diary. I hope I keep the ability to have a record....
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Alchemist

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #49454 on: January 31, 2017, 05:36:07 pm »

Diary of Inod Likotamem, Mayor of Edtulon

1st Moonstone, 127

The overseer has acted odd today, and I cannot place my finger on why. No, not because it is gone, I have been fortunate in keeping all my limbs. I do, however, question the future of my safety considering how the overseer glares at me and mutters something along the lines of, "I'll show YOU a perigrine falcon bone table..." before moving on to... whatever he's currently doing.

It only worries me because his mumbling is not limited to odd things about tables, they include things about goblin sieges, about death, about what he's going to do to someone if something crashes again. We... do not have a minecart system in place at the moment, so I am unsure of what his issue may be with crashings. I would ask more, but he has locked everyone away. The bridge to the outside has been closed, keeping us away from the humans. I asked why originally when we were ushered in and he said something about, "being prepared for that little shit force this time instead of being surprised".

Has Armok delivered a vision to our overseer, or has he had one too many wood logs dropped on his head? I shall keep you updated, diary. For now, I must go to think about new furniture for my lavish yet empty rooms. Maybe a table....

That's hilarious. Please do more. Please?

Diary of Inod Likotamem, Mayor of Edtulon

10th of Hematite, 128

Things had been quiet in the fortress up until now, with our Overseer keeping to himself. The Fortress fell into a rhythm of farming, so our plant stocks are nicely full. The carpenter was never told to stop making wooden cages since my last entry, which I found odd, but it has helped him practice quite a bit. We also began to make steel bars, a welcome addition to any proper fortress. With our high dolomite stocks, I am confident that we can properly equip our military in full time.

Well, what's left of it. I don't wish to dance around the issue, but we had a.... goblin attack. Just as the overseer predicted. He burst into my office, kicking my nice door into my exquisite engraving of myself, and screamed,

"WHAT IN ARMOK'S NAME ARE YOU DOING?! GET EVERYONE INSIDE AND RAISE THE BRIDGE!"

I asked him why, and he walked over to me, grabbed me by the shoulders, and grinned.

"They... They're here. Finally, those fucking goblins are here. I won't let them escape this time, oh no I won't. They aren't going to kill as many of us as they did last time either!"

He had a wild look. It was disturbing. I was beginning to think he had snapped before Sazir Momuz, the militia commander, walked on in with his new shiny Steel Warhammer that the Overseer has requested be made.

"Ma'am, goblins over to the north-east," he said, looking on to this scene as if nothing odd was happening.

I looked back to our Overseer. His pure joy at the arrival of goblins was something I could not nor do not want to understand. I gave the order to have everyone come in, and for the bridge to be raised. As Sazir left, I looked to our Overseer. I had so many questions I wanted to ask. I wanted to know how he knew they were coming, why he wanted them here, what in Armok's name was happening here. However, I did not get the chance. He let go of me and ran off to go view the battle that soon began.

Most everyone made it inside before too long. Two dwarves idled too long and got shut out. One of them was right on the bridge before the lever was pulled. We have not yet found them. The other slept in the Inn with the humans the entire time. Two wrestlers were dumb enough to jump off the top of the battlements to go fight a couple of the goblins. They both died, taking one goblin with them, and we are seeking replacements for them.

After the goblins began to approach the front of the fortress, they were caught in a slew of cage traps. We caught three before we heard a retreat be called. Someone was obviously not having this, as the bridge was lowered and the military sent out. Sazir jumped off the roof to go towards the goblins that killed his allies. He must have landed on one of the little vile beasts, as his hammer is clean and there is a freshly dead goblin he can't explain. Sazir is a bit... Absent minded however.

The wrestlers made sure the goblins in the cages were secured, and one got away to the north. I heard a multitude of curses coming from the top of the fortress, obviously the Overseer. I cannot understand why he was upset, I only really picked up something along the lines of "WE ONLY CAUGHT THREE?! THIS IS PATHETIC!"

Most of our population is fine. We lost very little, and we shall make memorials to those we lost. I am looking at planning some extra defenses. The Overseer, meanwhile, is eyeing the Drop Tower and those goblins. I feel we may have some cleaning to do very shortly.

Until next time, diary. I hope I keep the ability to have a record....

Oh, and then DF Crashed and I lost all of that. That's frustrating.

Quick Edit: It's probably the Drop Tower. Current versions of DF aren't happy when multiple sharp object go inside someone at once, which I've seen from the Steelclutches LP. I might have to just build an arena and leave them in there. I really liked the tower too. : \
« Last Edit: January 31, 2017, 05:40:09 pm by Alchemist »
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