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Author Topic: What's going on in your fort?  (Read 3233009 times)

Ironfang

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #49185 on: December 29, 2016, 07:09:29 pm »

Zefon Eminiseth, Stray Hydra (*Trained*) has given birth to triplets.

Congratulations.

....There's a mental image which won't leave.

Human Diplomat: "So, is it true? have your people been able to tame hydras?
Dwarf Noble: "Aye lad, and we got 'em to mate too"
HD: "Unbelievable!"
Dwarf Animal trainer: "Sir! The hydra's just about to! Do you want to be there?"
DN: "Sure thing! And you too!"
*they arrive to where the hydra is*
*hydra's panting, biting multiple XXwooden pillarsXX that bear many many old marks of such punishment*
HD: "I can't believe it! How many eggs does it lay at a time?"
DAT: "None"
HD: "What?"
*a spray of hydra blood from the hydra's lower body hits the human diplomat in the upper body!*
*The human diplomat is knocked backwards!*
*Zefon Eminiseth, Stray Hydra (*Trained*) has given birth to triplets.*
DN: "Aren't they pretty?"



Human King: "So, how was your travel to dwarven lands?"
Human Diplomat: "Never piss off the dwarves, they have an army of hydras"




Dwarf Cook: "Another baby hydra meat roast coming up!"

I am adding that last part as my sig, that cool?
Logged
Human King: "So, how was your travel to dwarven lands?"
Human Diplomat: "Never piss off the dwarves, they have an army of hydras"

Dwarf Cook: "Another baby hydra meat roast coming up!"

SebasMarolo

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #49186 on: December 29, 2016, 08:05:16 pm »

Zefon Eminiseth, Stray Hydra (*Trained*) has given birth to triplets.

Congratulations.

....There's a mental image which won't leave.

Human Diplomat: "So, is it true? have your people been able to tame hydras?
Dwarf Noble: "Aye lad, and we got 'em to mate too"
HD: "Unbelievable!"
Dwarf Animal trainer: "Sir! The hydra's just about to! Do you want to be there?"
DN: "Sure thing! And you too!"
*they arrive to where the hydra is*
*hydra's panting, biting multiple XXwooden pillarsXX that bear many many old marks of such punishment*
HD: "I can't believe it! How many eggs does it lay at a time?"
DAT: "None"
HD: "What?"
*a spray of hydra blood from the hydra's lower body hits the human diplomat in the upper body!*
*The human diplomat is knocked backwards!*
*Zefon Eminiseth, Stray Hydra (*Trained*) has given birth to triplets.*
DN: "Aren't they pretty?"



Human King: "So, how was your travel to dwarven lands?"
Human Diplomat: "Never piss off the dwarves, they have an army of hydras"




Dwarf Cook: "Another baby hydra meat roast coming up!"

I am adding that last part as my sig, that cool?

Go ahead.
I still can't stop imagining 21 hydra heads poking outta their mother's lower body.
Logged
So uh, yeah you just murdered a until proven otherwise pretty neutral innocent being for no reason.

Random_Dragon

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #49187 on: December 29, 2016, 08:24:05 pm »

...now I can't unthink it either, damnit.
Logged
On DF Wiki On DFFD

"Hey idiots, someone hacked my account to call you all idiots! Wasn't me you idiots!" seems to stretch credulity a bit.

Ironfang

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #49188 on: December 29, 2016, 08:41:15 pm »

Don't worry, it could be worse.

Count yourself lucky you aren't imagining it in anime style.
Logged
Human King: "So, how was your travel to dwarven lands?"
Human Diplomat: "Never piss off the dwarves, they have an army of hydras"

Dwarf Cook: "Another baby hydra meat roast coming up!"

Random_Dragon

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #49189 on: December 29, 2016, 08:46:07 pm »

This only provokes more amusing mental images.
Logged
On DF Wiki On DFFD

"Hey idiots, someone hacked my account to call you all idiots! Wasn't me you idiots!" seems to stretch credulity a bit.

Ironfang

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #49190 on: December 29, 2016, 09:33:19 pm »

Are you including sound?
Logged
Human King: "So, how was your travel to dwarven lands?"
Human Diplomat: "Never piss off the dwarves, they have an army of hydras"

Dwarf Cook: "Another baby hydra meat roast coming up!"

SebasMarolo

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #49191 on: December 29, 2016, 09:47:48 pm »

Are you including sound?

Wonder if they hiss, or do that shit those velociraptors did on jurasic park 3 with their sound organs or whatever.

Or if they can't really produce vocalizations, lacking vocal folds because their necks are too long to house them, like giraffes.
Logged
So uh, yeah you just murdered a until proven otherwise pretty neutral innocent being for no reason.

Ironfang

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #49192 on: December 29, 2016, 10:28:45 pm »

I won't elaborate further to not spread the nightmare.

Back to normal news, an Ettin tried to attack my fort.
She walked into a weapon trap filled hall and enjoyed 6-7 pages of low quality swords and cross bows chopping her up piece by piece.

Also, I did notice something very interesting. In the same fort, made in a small 30 year old world, I got a High Master Blacksmith who had two sons, but no wife, and the sons had no listed mother. They didn't even have each other listed as siblings.

Is this normal? 
Logged
Human King: "So, how was your travel to dwarven lands?"
Human Diplomat: "Never piss off the dwarves, they have an army of hydras"

Dwarf Cook: "Another baby hydra meat roast coming up!"

Libash_Thunderhead

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #49193 on: December 29, 2016, 10:55:14 pm »

Judgement day of spring

Spring has arrived!
Medi Uquurketas, Human Scholar has been found dead.
Tegism Specutdidde, Human Mace Lord has been found dead.
Kina Allestren, Human Sage has been found dead.
Logged

YetAnotherLurker

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #49194 on: December 30, 2016, 03:12:30 am »

Meh, it'll work out. The first thing that sprung to mind for me wasn't about how a group of 4 hydras look, but reanimating leather industry. With 7 heads, there's so much more to slice off from a hydra.
Unfortunately, Hydras produce scales, not skin. I keep meaning to mod scaled creatures to have usable skin, or creating a way to convert scales to a usable material, but never get around to it. My Evil biome is rather boring, anyway. Barren mountainside (hill, really) with regular rains of syndromeless badgerman blood, no reanimation, no evil clouds, and no notable wildlife aside from a handful of Dark Gnomes several years ago. Also of note, the Hydra that gave birth earlier is actually only 17 years old, in a world that's now at year 109. My Megabeasts are reproducing in the wild, which is glorious. Hopefully I can acquire a breeding pair of Rocs or Dragons as well.

Also, I did notice something very interesting. In the same fort, made in a small 30 year old world, I got a High Master Blacksmith who had two sons, but no wife, and the sons had no listed mother. They didn't even have each other listed as siblings.

Is this normal?
I'd guess that's what happens when the entire family was created out of the ether by the will of Armok? I think I've run into the same thing in Legends before, though.
« Last Edit: December 30, 2016, 03:20:20 am by YetAnotherLurker »
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Fleeting Frames

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #49195 on: December 30, 2016, 06:20:57 am »

Ah well, that sucks twice. Though I suppose the teenage mother of three would be happy that her children aren't converted into three dozen nature's violators.

Hydra skull totems? Eh, can't build them....

An army of hydras does seem the best option. Maybe once you retire they'll attack the surroundings. I don't know.

SebasMarolo

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #49196 on: December 30, 2016, 07:35:02 am »

Ah well, that sucks twice. Though I suppose the teenage mother of three would be happy that her children aren't converted into three dozen nature's violators.

Hydra skull totems? Eh, can't build them....

An army of hydras does seem the best option. Maybe once you retire they'll attack the surroundings. I don't know.

I once kept an hydra locked inside a cell with a raising bridge just so I could come as an adventurer and slay it. The first part worked great, the hydra was still in there, but some useless farmer kept stealling my kills. Don't build your cages on meeting areas.

Anyway, you could wall in your hydras behind bridges. Heck, you could put the levers to those bridges on a black box control room with a vampire inside, so if your fort falls, all you have to do is release the hydras! Maybe make the vampire an animal trainer and make him/her able to access the cages, just in case...
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So uh, yeah you just murdered a until proven otherwise pretty neutral innocent being for no reason.

Random_Dragon

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #49197 on: December 30, 2016, 01:20:51 pm »

A trooooll is mucking about in my tunnel that links the surface to the caverns. I'll now have an opportunity to test the exploit involving hatches. Namely, as it's busy smashing several doors, I'll be able to see whether or not this prevents it from pathing past the hatch before I can forbid it.

EDIT: This is all nothing but prepared meals, mussel shell crafts (FUCKTONS of them), and worn-out clothes. As valuable as prepared meals are, the crafts dwarf them value-wise.

« Last Edit: December 30, 2016, 02:03:36 pm by Random_Dragon »
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On DF Wiki On DFFD

"Hey idiots, someone hacked my account to call you all idiots! Wasn't me you idiots!" seems to stretch credulity a bit.

Ironfang

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #49198 on: December 30, 2016, 02:17:12 pm »


Also, I did notice something very interesting. In the same fort, made in a small 30 year old world, I got a High Master Blacksmith who had two sons, but no wife, and the sons had no listed mother. They didn't even have each other listed as siblings.

Is this normal?
I'd guess that's what happens when the entire family was created out of the ether by the will of Armok? I think I've run into the same thing in Legends before, though.

But the weird thing is, the youngest son is only 2, we was born after my fort was already founded. It is weird, but there are 2 other kids with single parents, I just didn't think of it greatly because they were single mothers.


On another note, I got a 15 year old human dancer who showed up to my fort.
He has long hair and is very skinny. He has 6 other siblings and finds family loathsome. He is disgusted by merry makers, does not respect the law, and disregards tradition.  He is frequently depressed, he is pessimistic, rarely happy or enthusiastic, and hates crowds. 

I am pretty sure this kid is a moody teen who ran away from home and just needed a place to crash.

Logged
Human King: "So, how was your travel to dwarven lands?"
Human Diplomat: "Never piss off the dwarves, they have an army of hydras"

Dwarf Cook: "Another baby hydra meat roast coming up!"

Random_Dragon

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #49199 on: December 30, 2016, 02:26:14 pm »

Uhoh. The troll was just a warmup.



The real hatch test begins.
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On DF Wiki On DFFD

"Hey idiots, someone hacked my account to call you all idiots! Wasn't me you idiots!" seems to stretch credulity a bit.
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