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Any D&D/D20

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[Andres]

Keep playing with him. I want to hear more about how bad this guy is.

[Yoink]

Claw. You're thinking of a claw hammer.
Same kind of thing that killed Verne Miller!

No, I'd say the thing chaoticag posted is almost definitely a Lucerne hammer.

I wasn't responding to him, I was responding to Bohandas:

DM: You stab him in the fac-
Me: I'm wielding a hammer...
DM: You stab him with your hammer.

It could work with a large headed foe and a small headed warhammer, or with a regular construction hammer turned backward so the nail remover thingy is pointing forwards

Edit: Also I just noticed the typo in my original post. Oh gods, how stoned was I yesterday?! D:
That is just embarrassing. Argh.

[BlackFlyme]

The first campaign I played with him as DM wasn't quite as bad, though it still had some moments. Nowhere near the same amount of pervertedness though.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

>Just joined game, missed the first session, but nothing happened.
>Entire group is mercenaries, hired by some nonspecific king of a nonspecific country to investigate an old catacomb.
>The first few rooms were empty, and I had enough time to make my character before anything happened.
>Fetchling summoner, with their racial archetype and an eidolon that looked like a four-armed, serpentine skeleton.
>Used plane-shift, which fetchlings get as a racial ability, to get here from the shadow plane.
>Everyone is suspicious, but we continue on.
>Long dungeon, we eventually have to rest to regain health/spells/etc.
>Choosing watches, paladin offers to stand watch all night by himself.
>At a point, the DM asks the paladin to roll perception, and he fails.
>Not a class skill, lol.
>Turns out a golem had been sneaking up on our camp, and was going to get the paladin.
>Murders him, gets a crit and does sneak attack damage.
>Everyone was calling bullshit, as the DM had given the golem levels in rogue, and doubled the sneak attack damage due to the crit.
>Luckily, he decided not to make us roll perception to hear the paladin die, as we wouldn't have made the check.
>The next morning, a young wizard comes into the catacombs, sent by the king to help us.
>So we continue on, lucky that the paladin/wizard's player makes characters in batches.
>There's a large chamber ahead with a pedestal in it, which prompts all the magic users to activate detect magic.
>Everyone was blinded, and when we regain our vision, there was a succubus in the room, which immediately tried to mass-charm us.
>Everyone but the wizard made the save, and he ran right over to her side.
>Looks like someone's gonna get their soul sucked out through their dick.
>Best idea we had was to send someone to pin the wizard so he can't cast spells.
>Everyone agreed my eidolon had the least to lose, and I sent it forward.
>Accidentally provoke an attack of opportunity as my eidolon tries to grapple.
>Manages to crit by smacking the eidolon with his book, and avoids getting grappled.
>Shit continued until my eidolon was actually killed by being repeatedly crit with a book to the face.

[Neonivek]

Well this is bad

I have to prepare for my game on Saturday and I am frozen with anxiety and procrastination.

>Everyone was calling bullshit, as the DM had given the golem levels in rogue

I consider that... fair.

[UXLZ]

Because a Golem having Rogue levels make sooo much sense, what with their small nimble hands and graceful bod-Oh.

Still, that campaign seems significantly better than the current one.

[Neonivek]

Because a Golem having Rogue levels make sooo much sense, what with their small nimble hands and graceful bod-Oh.

Still, that campaign seems significantly better than the current one.

It would be a very atypical creature and represent either an intelligent golem or one that has specifically been programmed to perform some rogue feats. Possibly with some physical alterations as well.

The issue isn't that it happened.

The issue is that it feels more like the DM just wanted some sort of cheap creature to get a quick kill.

[UXLZ]

Right, I'd be fine with it if the Golem was modified (smaller and lither appearance, lower HP and STR but perhaps higher DEX), but I got the impression that it was a bog-standard Golem that just happened to have Rogue levels somehow.

[Rolan7]

Huh, okay I guess programming class levels in could work.  I'd definitely limit it to the programmer's own level in that class, or have to hire someone to assist at a significant penalty.  It'd be time consuming too, and probably require an XP cost (not that XP costs make sense, but balance...)

I don't think physical modifications would be strictly necessary, though they'd be artistically appropriate.  If you don't mind the golem being a low-dex rogue, it'll just have crappy base move silently checks and won't qualify for various rogue-centric feats.

(I don't know Pathfinder, this is all 3.5e perspective)

[UXLZ]

Right, but it also wouldn't be able to use Rogue Tools, and so forth. (Its hands would be too big and clunky if they weren't modified.)

[Neonivek]

Well Pathfinder wise... it doesn't benefit all that much from getting rogue levels mostly because Fighter levels are awesome

BUT it would get a halfway decent dexterity score if it did that.

Right, but it also wouldn't be able to use Rogue Tools, and so forth. (Its hands would be too big and clunky if they weren't modified.)

Not all Golems look like... well "Golem" from Monster Rancher

Quite a few look like large ornate statues with long slender fingers.

[BlackFlyme]

I'm not sure if there are any differences between 3.5 and 3.P golems. It was just a regular golem with rogue levels tacked on. I can't remember what type, but it was size huge.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

>Not long after we killed the succubus, freeing the wizard, we investigated the pedestal.
>Extremely magical orb on the top, which is what blinded those trying to detect magic, and we try to figure out what it is for.
>Vertical shaft opens up, revealing a staircase down below.
>Eventually make it to the bottom, we apparently descended for hours.
>Reach a massive cathedral room, with only an altar on the far wall.
>Going to enter the room, we notice bard is missing.
>OhShit,Where'dHeGo?
>No-one can find him, DM says we won't see his DMPC until later.
>No choice but to approach the altar.
>After someone put their hand on it, the exit magically sealed and the lights dimmed.
>Giant, six winged, black and red angelic being appears, floating down from the ceiling.
>It thanks us for freeing it, and gives us a bag of gold as thanks, then starts to try and teleport out.
>Very large, but slightly smaller angel comes down from ceiling as well, and shouts to stop the first one.
>Everyone forced to take sides.
>Young wizard decides to join with first angel.
>Our sides meant nothing as the angel successfully teleported away anyways,
>Understandably angry, our inquisitor screams at the wizard, and forces him to own up for his mistake or fight/flee.
>Unfortunately, he chose to fight, though tried to flee via earthglide at one point.
>Pouring salt on a wound, DM ruled that the stone of the cathedral was magic, and could not be glided through, leading to the player to lose two characters in a single session.

[UXLZ]

Your DM has a noticeable hard-on for Succubi and Bards.

[Neonivek]

Your DM has a noticeable hard-on for Succubi and Bards.

Remember that old joke about that guy who wanted Mountain Dew and to have sex in the bar?

This DM is like what would happen if that player was real, grew up, and became a DM.

[BlackFlyme]

And multiclassing as a rogue, for some reason. He really wants to make a memorable character. Tries to even enforce it sometimes.

I remember one, that was a cleric, I believe. Don't remember much, other than the fact that he insisted that everyone refer to his character as "altar boy", as both a friendly nickname and an insult. It didn't catch, but he kept pushing for it.

Currently, he is trying to enforce it with his four-armed character. Asked to make an ocarina out of a seashell, and was told to make a craft check for it.
"I'm not making a check, I just want an ocarina. It doesn't have to be masterwork, or even decently made for that matter."

But you would still have to roll to see if you actually make it instead of destroying the shell or something. He was given it anyways. Then he said he wanted to play it while he sits in the crow's nest of our ship, and he wanted to play it loud enough so that others can hear. Told to make a performance check.
"I don't want to. It doesn't matter how well my character plays it, as long as he gets to play it."

As I've said before, it's like he thinks that if he makes a character memorable enough, internet fairies will come and give him his own blog, and morph him into Spoony One.

[kilakan]

Well this is bad

I have to prepare for my game on Saturday and I am frozen with anxiety and procrastination.

>Everyone was calling bullshit, as the DM had given the golem levels in rogue

I consider that... fair.

My advice, write a text block to get the scene set and then just wing everything else... I am sure we will spend most of the session drinking/smoking and just talking to each other.