Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[NAV]

Enjoy a BadLemonadeXI.

[Ama]

Find a jetpack and use it to find more dapper spiders.

[smurfingtonthethird]

Make the Gigalisks president and vice-president of the Bureau of Public Affairs.

Use my Presidential salary to buy myself a yacht.

[2]

The gigalisks care not for such trifles, and as such they eat pretty much everything moving, and smash everything not moving.

DO NOT SERVE IT.

[3]

You freeze. If you stop concentrating for even a second, you'll have to serve.

WELL IDC, CRASH SELF ON THE PLANET WHERE ALL THE OTHER PEOPLE ARE, ITS PEOBABLY NOT EARTH

[1]

You crash on Earth. Shit.

"Let's try this then."

Put on powered exoskeleton armor

[4]

Aww yeah.

Of course I cannot move nor speak.
My mind was filled with visions of myself being a prophet to it.
The spirit is strong, but the paper is weak. To better serve it I must be able to move, and to speak.
I will demonstrate my devotion to it. Absorb more energy! Cannibalize the apple of diamonds for mass!
Use the mana I've absorbed and the paper I've harvested to develop the paper musculature needed to flex my form like an inchworm, to propel myself along the ground! it is depending on me to spread it's will!

[5]

You can move now.

"Shitfuck. Screw the booze demons then." Fly spaceplane, complete with slowly meltdown-ing nuclear reactor, to the city, set autopilot data for the Booze Demons' base of operations, parajump out.

  After applying nuke-resistant sunglasses, watch the ensuing mushroom cloud from a safe distance. "If cool guys don't look at explosions, I don't want to be a cool guy."

[1]

The nuclear reactor has safeguards in place, and shuts itself down. Plus you miss completely and hit the town hall.

"People might potentially die in my presence, but that doesn't excuse the myriad of times you turned people into cheeses or potatoes."

And? That's kind of my job. You don't yell at a baker for baking bread, do you?

((Dang, I know what he's getting at. He's made a list of rolls and he's using those for the game.))

Invert luck.

[6]

Now all of the rolls are inversed. But since the numbers are random anyways, this means nothing.

Continue on my merry way! Find people to rob/greet/murder/steal a spaceship from!

[4]

You find some people to rob, but they have guns.

"Your correct that if no did do anything, them everyone would be fine. however, that is only true because of the fact that the GM has a habit of rolling for any actions and them punishing those who get a 1,2,3 or 6 to varying degrees"

[3]

Take it up with the RNG.

Kindly ask the nice booze demons if they would let me out of their hive.

[1]

They are all dead, for some reason.

Enjoy a BadLemonadeXI.

[3]

Tastes like dirt and piss.

Find a jetpack and use it to find more dapper spiders.

[5]

You find thousands of them atop a mountain.

[Sl4cker]

The gigalisks care not for such trifles, and as such they eat pretty much everything moving, and smash everything not moving.

This is exactly the reason I made them head of the Bureau!
Take the money of the dead men and women and use their and my combined salary to buy myself a yacht.

[UnicodingUnicorn]

Leave the booze hive.

[Adragis]

Throw a rock.

[da_nang]

"Fucking finally. Time to get the hell out of dodge."

Get away from the crash site, preferably somewhere out of sight.

[blazing glory]

Figure out what on earth a Gigalisk is, 'cuz I can't be bothered to Google.

[Amperzand]

Retrieve now-safe plane. Apologize for damaged Town Hall. Offer services as nuclear engineer.

[conein]

if im not destroyed, crash self on planet of the other people.

[Hiddenleafguy]

Using my legendary telekinesis I attempt to bring the sun down upon the Gm.
Stupid autocorrect.

[Pearofclubs]

Excellent! I am mobile! The Apple of Diamonds will be remembered.

I am closer than I have ever been towards being a worthy servant of it!
But I can't shake this suspicion that maybe, just maybe ... my form is less than ideal for the task of spreading it's word.
Since I seem to be able to, through some intangible force, consume and re-purpose the flesh of my unliving family, I should be able to continue to do so, to make myself a more capable servant to it.

Inchworm around, search the surroundings for anything that might serve as an inspiration for my next self-improvement.

[Amperzand]

Lure GM with offerings of Irish potato soup.

[KingofstarrySkies]

ROB THEM

[smurfingtonthethird]

The gigalisks care not for such trifles, and as such they eat pretty much everything moving, and smash everything not moving.

This is exactly the reason I made them head of the Bureau!
Take the money of the dead men and women and use their and my combined salary to buy myself a yacht.

[4]

You manage to scrape together just enough money and cast off.

Leave the booze hive.

[5]

You smash your way out.

Throw a rock.

[6]

You hit a gigalisk. Aww shit.

"Fucking finally. Time to get the hell out of dodge."

Get away from the crash site, preferably somewhere out of sight.

[1]

You get squashed by a bear, which suddenly appeared out of nowhere.

Figure out what on earth a Gigalisk is, 'cuz I can't be bothered to Google.

Spoiler: tiny dot at bottom right is a person (click to show/hide)

Retrieve now-safe plane. Apologize for damaged Town Hall. Offer services as nuclear engineer.

[3]

Everyone being dead ruins your job applications.

Of course! Finally, I see the light of the amazing person that is the GM.

Convert to Potatoism on the spot, with all the perks that such an action entails.

[3]

"Not so fast. First you must find me a golden potato!"

if im not destroyed, crash self on planet of the other people.

[1]

Nope, you're pretty destroyed right now.

Using my legendary telekinesis I attempt to bring the sun down upon the Gm.
Stupid autocorrect.

[6]

The GM unmakes the sun in response.

Congrats, you doomed the Earth. Enjoy freezing/starving to death!

Excellent! I am mobile! The Apple of Diamonds will be remembered.

I am closer than I have ever been towards being a worthy servant of it!
But I can't shake this suspicion that maybe, just maybe ... my form is less than ideal for the task of spreading it's word.
Since I seem to be able to, through some intangible force, consume and re-purpose the flesh of my unliving family, I should be able to continue to do so, to make myself a more capable servant to it.

Inchworm around, search the surroundings for anything that might serve as an inspiration for my next self-improvement.

[3]

Lots of dead bodies and rubble. Not much else.

Lure GM with offerings of Irish potato soup.

[4]

deal

ROB THEM

[1]

You forgot it was opposite day, and they rob you instead. How does that even work?