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Author Topic: The Infinite Heavens: More than one way to skin a cat.  (Read 331244 times)

Toaster

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Re: The Infinite Heavens: Tourist Trap
« Reply #135 on: June 12, 2015, 03:12:04 pm »

((I'm a drunken sailor that can carsurf with ease!  Although I'm tempted to change form to "small triceratops" for the hell of it.))
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HMR stands for Hazardous Materials Requisition, not Horrible Massive Ruination, though I can understand how one could get confused.
God help us if we have to agree on pizza toppings at some point. There will be no survivors.

Comrade P.

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Re: The Infinite Heavens: Tourist Trap
« Reply #136 on: June 12, 2015, 04:04:36 pm »

((I'm a drunken sailor that can carsurf with ease!  Although I'm tempted to change form to "small triceratops" for the hell of it.))
((I'm a drunken sailor that can carsurf with ease!))
((a drunken sailor))

((What will we do with a drunken sailor?))
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Sigs

Nobody exists on purpose. Nobody belongs anywhere. Everybody’s gonna die. Come watch TV?

Toaster

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Re: The Infinite Heavens: Tourist Trap
« Reply #137 on: June 12, 2015, 04:21:21 pm »

((Throw him in the brig with the captain's daughter?))
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HMR stands for Hazardous Materials Requisition, not Horrible Massive Ruination, though I can understand how one could get confused.
God help us if we have to agree on pizza toppings at some point. There will be no survivors.

DoctorMcTaalik

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Re: The Infinite Heavens: Tourist Trap
« Reply #138 on: June 12, 2015, 04:54:26 pm »

((I'm a hyena. I do hyena things. Please let me into your car.))
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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ATHATH

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Re: The Infinite Heavens: Tourist Trap
« Reply #139 on: June 12, 2015, 07:12:20 pm »

((I'm a hyena. I do hyena things. Please let me into your car.))
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
I really should sig that.

Edit: I just did. Should I have asked for permission first?
« Last Edit: June 12, 2015, 07:34:36 pm by ATHATH »
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Seriously, ATHATH, we need to have an intervention about your death mug problem.
Quote
*slow clap* Well ATHATH congratulations. You managed to give the MC a mental breakdown before we even finished the first arc.
I didn't even read it first, I just saw it was ATHATH and noped it. Now that I read it x3 to noping

piecewise

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Re: The Infinite Heavens: Tourist Trap
« Reply #140 on: June 12, 2015, 07:27:30 pm »

Hold on, gotta get these things uploaded.

piecewise

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Re: The Infinite Heavens: Tourist Trap
« Reply #141 on: June 12, 2015, 07:46:47 pm »

Wake uuuup.
You wake up. You immediately regret this decision when you feel your arm again. You manage to stop swearing long enough to be shoved into the back seat so Xan can start driving.

So, Xankarvo says while looking at a pamphlet, fuck the historic route, and fuck Sodomy lake, not in the way it intends. Let's take the hellway.

Can someone help me get this monkey off the gas?


With the help of other people (if I don't get help don't do it), heave the gorilla over onto one of the back seats or something and get in the driver's seat, then turn us toward the Hellway. Let's head towards ... Slencville.

Hey can someone else read a few of those tour guide things and see if the village is called anything different on them?

You crawl up into the driver's seat, shift into drive and floor it. You mange to do little more then dig the tires straight into the eyesand and get them stuck.

"Good at fire. Bad at car."

"Certainly friend!"

Swap cassettes, search for any other discrepancies or clues in the pamphlets.
You swap cassettes and wait for the music to start before you look through the rest of the pamphlets. The vast majority of them are traps, all leading to the Wall of Teeth, but you find one that contains a large map of Slencville.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

You tear it out of the pamphlet and tape it up on the dash, along with the earlier map, forming a crude total map.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Enjoy the ride and my cigarette.
You settle back into the back seat and keep smoking. Good thing you don't have teeth, or they'd be as yellow as the rest of you.

Reincarnate? Hopefully somewhere better? Relatively speaking?
No tears, only dreams now.

You reincarnate as a bipedial water buffalo trapped in a golden labyrinth filled with sexually aggressive giantesses 1.4 trillion miles away from here.

Feel free to join the waitlist as something else entirely.






Now, you three I mentioned, if you had to be anywhere in a sleepy little town full of odd customs, odder flora, and even odder people, where would you go? We'll assume that you're not natives, just visitors having ended up there in some way. Maybe Recently incarnated. Maybe just hitch hiked. Your choice.

~Neri

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Re: The Infinite Heavens: Tourist Trap
« Reply #142 on: June 12, 2015, 07:56:55 pm »

Look for something to use as a brace so my armflab doesn't flab around.

"Anyo-fuckow anyone know how to" Rather loud groan of pain. "Regrow bones?"
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Xantalos

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Re: The Infinite Heavens: Tourist Trap
« Reply #143 on: June 12, 2015, 10:53:03 pm »

Okay someone else drive, I'm shit at it.
...
Actually hold on a second.


Get out of the driver's seat and go collect some of the eyesand into the bag I put all the food into. Never know when you'll need a bunch of eyes.
Make sure I'm in the car before it starts driving away.
Also make sure I don't start sinking into the eyes. If I start doing that when I get out of the car, get back in with haste.

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Sig! Onol
Quote from: BFEL
XANTALOS, THE KARATEBOMINATION
Quote from: Toaster
((The Xantalos Die: [1, 1, 1, 6, 6, 6]))

IronyOwl

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Re: The Infinite Heavens: Tourist Trap
« Reply #144 on: June 12, 2015, 11:21:03 pm »

"I do not! Perhaps we shall find someone in Slencville. They are reputed to have a truce with these bone thieves, so perhaps they are familiar with reversing their afflictions.

In any case, I shall drive us there without delay! With only a slight delay!"

Take the wheel, start driving us to Slencville. Once eyeball dude's back in the car. Maybe check out the Forefathers Graves? Graves haven't steered us wrong so far!
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Quote from: Radio Controlled (Discord)
A hand, a hand, my kingdom for a hot hand!
The kitchenette mold free, you move on to the pantry. it's nasty in there. The bacon is grazing on the lettuce. The ham is having an illicit affair with the prime rib, The potatoes see all, know all. A rat in boxer shorts smoking a foul smelling cigar is banging on a cabinet shouting about rent money.

DoctorMcTaalik

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Re: The Infinite Heavens: Tourist Trap
« Reply #145 on: June 12, 2015, 11:29:29 pm »

Now, you three I mentioned, if you had to be anywhere in a sleepy little town full of odd customs, odder flora, and even odder people, where would you go? We'll assume that you're not natives, just visitors having ended up there in some way. Maybe Recently incarnated. Maybe just hitch hiked. Your choice.

((The Inn)) On second thought, I probably can't get into inns. You'll find me on the outskirts of town, prowling for strays.

((I'm a hyena. I do hyena things. Please let me into your car.))
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
I really should sig that.

Edit: I just did. Should I have asked for permission first?

((Nah, it's all good.))
« Last Edit: June 13, 2015, 03:13:03 am by DoctorMcTaalik »
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piecewise

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Re: The Infinite Heavens: Tourist Trap
« Reply #146 on: June 13, 2015, 12:31:55 am »

Look for something to use as a brace so my armflab doesn't flab around.

"Anyo-fuckow anyone know how to" Rather loud groan of pain. "Regrow bones?"

[2]

You can't find anything around here to splint your arm up with. And you have a sneaking suspicion that the local remedy is amputation. Medical training ain't common, but butchers are a dime a dozen.

Okay someone else drive, I'm shit at it.
...
Actually hold on a second.


Get out of the driver's seat and go collect some of the eyesand into the bag I put all the food into. Never know when you'll need a bunch of eyes.
Make sure I'm in the car before it starts driving away.
Also make sure I don't start sinking into the eyes. If I start doing that when I get out of the car, get back in with haste.


You get out of the car and, in a stunning example of foresight, go get your samples of eyesand by digging around the stuck tires, freeing them at the same time as you fill your odd container of loot. Your food now nice and contaminated, you return to the car, climbing into the passenger side chair.

"I do not! Perhaps we shall find someone in Slencville. They are reputed to have a truce with these bone thieves, so perhaps they are familiar with reversing their afflictions.

In any case, I shall drive us there without delay! With only a slight delay!"

Take the wheel, start driving us to Slencville. Once eyeball dude's back in the car. Maybe check out the Forefathers Graves? Graves haven't steered us wrong so far!

You ease onto the gas and slowly make your way back to the main road. It takes a heck of a long time, moving at a pace where the tires won't get themselves hopelessly stuck. Once you finally make it back to the road, the flaming fetus has crossed the sky, spewing burning pitch down onto some distant point, and is slowly falling back towards the horizon.

Hellway 888 isn't much more then an almost completely straight strip of asphalt stretching onward for several hours, featureless and mindnumbing. After several more hours of travel, the landscape begins to change. The endless white expanses of eyes give way to strange meadows of fibrous red grass and thick, stocky trees with expansive canopies that blanket the road and give you the feeling of driving through a tunnel. The sun, or what passes for it here, gleams through the leaves and trunks at a hard, sunset angle; beams of yellowish light cutting nearly horizontally across the road. Eventually you reach a break in the trees and get your first view of Slencville. It's a small town, situated in the valley of many low and gentle hills. The forest has been mostly cleared around the town itself, but it still encircles the place no more then 100 feet beyond the farthest homes. Knee high red grass covers any exposed land like a thick moss and the houses -squat things with steep roofs and few windows- look as though they are sinking straight into the land itself, their bases lost in the grass. The strangest thing though, is that there, in the center of town, is a tree. And not any ordinary tree, but one that is unreasonably huge. It's trunk must be half a block wide, though relatively short for its thickness, and the canopy covers the entirety of the center of the town.

The outer limits are sparse, buildings widely spaced and lonely, and as you travel up main street and pass Cinder, you notice people starting to walk out of their homes or look through their windows, all of them staring at you.  They don't look threatening. In fact...they look overjoyed.
« Last Edit: June 13, 2015, 12:40:35 am by piecewise »
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piecewise

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Re: The Infinite Heavens: Tourist Trap
« Reply #147 on: June 13, 2015, 12:33:13 am »

You guys alright with how we're handling the maps by the way? I figured it might be neat to sort of piece together a road map using smaller maps found along the way, and to scribble things on them as we go.

Sort of a way to keep track of where we've been and whats happened.

Toaster

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Re: The Infinite Heavens: Tourist Trap
« Reply #148 on: June 13, 2015, 12:34:11 am »

It does look very authentic and fits the setting well.  Keep it!
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HMR stands for Hazardous Materials Requisition, not Horrible Massive Ruination, though I can understand how one could get confused.
God help us if we have to agree on pizza toppings at some point. There will be no survivors.

Corsair

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Re: The Infinite Heavens: Tourist Trap
« Reply #149 on: June 13, 2015, 12:37:48 am »


Now, you three I mentioned, if you had to be anywhere in a sleepy little town full of odd customs, odder flora, and even odder people, where would you go? We'll assume that you're not natives, just visitors having ended up there in some way. Maybe Recently incarnated. Maybe just hitch hiked. Your choice.
((Wasn't expecting to get in so quick

Also would likely be in a relatively open area flame grilling a salmon))
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So it was like a binary search, except the question is "Has the input been brutally murdered?", and it only ever returns True.
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