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Author Topic: The Infinite Heavens: More than one way to skin a cat.  (Read 331174 times)

Toaster

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Re: The Infinite Heavens: Rock the Boat
« Reply #2310 on: May 23, 2016, 09:22:05 pm »

Well, he did it!  No reason to doubt his power now.

Have a drink to celebrate!  Share with anyone nearby.
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HMR stands for Hazardous Materials Requisition, not Horrible Massive Ruination, though I can understand how one could get confused.
God help us if we have to agree on pizza toppings at some point. There will be no survivors.

AoshimaMichio

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Re: The Infinite Heavens: Rock the Boat
« Reply #2311 on: May 23, 2016, 11:50:18 pm »

"Wha... How long was I out?! Where the hell am I?"

Ryan peeks down from top of the war beast. "Hello! You are on ground! Pity you were exploded into life, I wanted to eat you!"
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Xantalos

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Re: The Infinite Heavens: Rock the Boat
« Reply #2312 on: May 24, 2016, 12:02:30 am »

"You got mulched by that crab thing with the giant claw pretty badly and were in a coma for a while. You're missing some fingers because I used them to cauterize your whole body, then when we got some fresh meat I burned one of them alive and brought you back to life. I also stole the crab-monster's other arm because my other one got ripped off, if you recall. You owe me your life; John here was about to mercy kill you when I stepped in."

Xankarvo grins, his flint and steel teeth glinting in the light.
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Sig! Onol
Quote from: BFEL
XANTALOS, THE KARATEBOMINATION
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((The Xantalos Die: [1, 1, 1, 6, 6, 6]))

Comrade P.

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Re: The Infinite Heavens: Rock the Boat
« Reply #2313 on: May 24, 2016, 02:17:45 am »

- Now if we're done, Xankarvo, let's move on. This bonfire and the flash might have attracted critters, and I am on a streak of bad luck in dealing with those lately.

Once people are back on the beast, resume along the course plotted along the dirt roads in the area.
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Sigs

Nobody exists on purpose. Nobody belongs anywhere. Everybody’s gonna die. Come watch TV?

Xantalos

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Re: The Infinite Heavens: Rock the Boat
« Reply #2314 on: May 24, 2016, 02:19:53 am »

"Far as I can tell these places are nowhere near as hostile as the Godeaters, but fair point. Let's go."
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Sig! Onol
Quote from: BFEL
XANTALOS, THE KARATEBOMINATION
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((The Xantalos Die: [1, 1, 1, 6, 6, 6]))

Ozarck

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Re: The Infinite Heavens: Rock the Boat
« Reply #2315 on: May 24, 2016, 05:37:08 pm »

"they might be more welcoming if our King Kong mount walked with a limp, and a tentacle, and one giant eye, and maybe burn scars all over it's body. and spikes, and oozing pustules. And if it moaned uncontrollably."

Yoink

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Re: The Infinite Heavens: Rock the Boat
« Reply #2316 on: May 24, 2016, 05:44:12 pm »

Stare in awe at the wizard for a while, then scramble back up onto the Warbeast and hide.

Edit: Accept any booze the dino happens to offer me. Cautiously taste it, see if it agrees with my rodent-ish tastebuds and digestion.
« Last Edit: May 24, 2016, 11:46:40 pm by Yoink »
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Booze is Life for Yoink

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DoctorMcTaalik

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Re: The Infinite Heavens: Rock the Boat
« Reply #2317 on: May 24, 2016, 10:14:56 pm »

"...Well, uh, thanks. Not sure how burning recruits alive relates to healing, but hey, I'm not complaining."

Hyenakles regards the guy with the headwrap suspiciously. "That you, John?"
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Xantalos

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Re: The Infinite Heavens: Rock the Boat
« Reply #2318 on: May 24, 2016, 11:23:59 pm »

"Oh right. John got knocked off the warbeast and his body was broken. We managed to eventually transplant him, first into the jeep so he didn't die and then I put him into that body and fused his head on with my magic."
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Sig! Onol
Quote from: BFEL
XANTALOS, THE KARATEBOMINATION
Quote from: Toaster
((The Xantalos Die: [1, 1, 1, 6, 6, 6]))

Harry Baldman

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Re: The Infinite Heavens: Rock the Boat
« Reply #2319 on: May 25, 2016, 01:59:23 am »

Wonderful! Land on the warbeast for now.

"Right, so there's a whole lot of yurts out there, chaps. Very quiet. Too quiet! No doubt there's trouble in there somewhere. Or maybe the sight of an ancient siege engine is one that they recognize. Or maybe they just feel that giant monsters are ample cause to run for the hills. Either way it seems like they're not feeling very sociable!"
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Ozarck

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Re: The Infinite Heavens: Rock the Boat
« Reply #2320 on: May 25, 2016, 06:49:42 am »

"They are harmless, brother bird! They just want entertainment. gory entertainment! Get us some gizzards and tentacles - you like calamari, right? We'll nmake up some properly frightful costumes and put on a great show!"

DoctorMcTaalik

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Re: The Infinite Heavens: Rock the Boat
« Reply #2321 on: May 25, 2016, 08:23:46 am »

"..Well, John, I'm torn between thanking you for your "mercy", and hauling your chrome ass back to the warbeast so I can throw you back off of it again. I am far too exhausted and stubborn to do either of those thing at the moment, so for I'm gonna settle on walking back to the warbeast and finding something to eat."

He turns around, confident that his point has been made and that he is truly the most badass of hyenas, and begins walking.
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piecewise

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Re: The Infinite Heavens: Rock the Boat
« Reply #2322 on: May 25, 2016, 09:15:16 am »

Go follow the sound of that massive explosion. Wonder how the hell I'm going to weaponize song with this shitty will save. Complain that what the wiki says about the things I'm bad at doesn't reflect my character sheet. Then, go fix that goddamn shit.
You make it back to the group, several of which are now engaging in cannibalism. Hmmm.

As per using a song, I suggest you find yourself something to record your voice on and then record the song once you get it just perfect.

"Explosions! Cool!"

Well, we have well cooked meat over there. Shame to waste it. And gotta have dinner.
With the help of a stick and some rigorious poking you manage to get the body out of the fire. It's a bit charred on the outside but still nice and juicy on the inside. Tastes like sweet pork.

Xankarvo steps back from his triumph, regular arm and crab arm spread wide. He turns to everyone else.

"If any of you doubted my power before, see the error of your ways now. My fire may unmake and my fire may restore. It is my will that decides which."

With that, he turns back to Hyenakles and pokes him until he wakes up.

"Wake up, oh hunter. You owe me too much not to, I believe."

Hold my non-crab arm out to Hyenakles so he can get up with my assistance. Bask in the adoration and fear of everyone else. Soon to include the hyena if I've anything to say about it.

You extend your not crabby arm to hyenankles while grinning in a rather unwholesome way. Grinning like an old man with binoculars sitting in a tree outside the nudist beach.

((I only just noticed, after rereading several pages, that my attempt to enter Dave's dream a few turns back was actually successful. Darn, that would have been a fun subplot.))

"Mmmmmm! Shaddup, I'm trying to sleep..."

"Ugh.... alright. ok. I'm awake." Hyenakles slowly opens his left eye, glaring at no one in particular.

That's strange.... I don't remember going to sleep in a crater...

He turns his head, seeing Xankarvo and the others gathered around. Damn... what were their names? Too many to keep track of, anyway. Had Mr. Bird always been a triceratops?

Eh, no matter...

...

"...Well? Whaddya want?"


Hyenakles slowly sits up, careful to avoid cutting himself on the glass. He begins to reach for Xan's extended hand, but recoils at the sight of his other arm. Something about the other arm bothers him; makes the rage and the fear hidden deep in his stomach boil up his esophagus and into his brain.

It's at about that moment that he realizes the absurdity of the present situation.

"Wha... How long was I out?! Where the hell am I?"

Get up, with the help of Xan's not-terrifying arm. Be otherwise characteristically obstinate until someone explains what I'm doing in this crater, and why Xan's arm is so creepy.

EDIT: Resolved via roleplay. Get my pristine hyena bum back on the warbeast. Recover whatever is left of deer shank, and find something to eat.

You get out of the crater, walk over to the still smoldering body of the woman sacrificed to revive you and heft it up onto your shoulder. The little...the hell is that thing? Some sort of tiny bipedal crocodile? Well whatever it is, it whines about you stealing its "Munchies". So you grab it by the scruff of it's little reptilian neck and set it on your shoulder before having the war beast lift you back onto the deck. You drop the corpse and the critter goes right back to gnawing on it; you tear off a handful of meat and then go look for your deer flank.

You can't find it anywhere.

I hop up onto Xankarvo again and soak up all the attention I can get, yelling encouraging things about being great and stuff, and "tremble before him" and "mighty presence" and stuff like that.


I encourage a certain attitude of bizarreness in Xan and Hyenakles, so that the surgery is more likely to produce interesting effects.

Do the things needed to perform the ritual with actual safety and shit. Campfires and all that.
I was hoping more people would actually help get this set up...oh well.

The fire dies down after a few seconds, leaving a glassy crater with you and a fully healed hyenakles in the center.
I helped! Nothing? Nothing.

I think a couple others had "help set up" actions.
You sit on his shoulder and shout various aggrandizing things. They start rather broad but as it goes on, they become increasingly focused on...well. It becomes less about "Tremble before him" and more about "Tremble before his..." if you catch my drift.

Well, he did it!  No reason to doubt his power now.

Have a drink to celebrate!  Share with anyone nearby.

You drink until you stop wondering how you're holding the bottle without any thumbs or indeed fingers of any kind.

- Now if we're done, Xankarvo, let's move on. This bonfire and the flash might have attracted critters, and I am on a streak of bad luck in dealing with those lately.

Once people are back on the beast, resume along the course plotted along the dirt roads in the area.
You get back onto the beast and sit in the driver's chair. Now, does this mean follow the dirt roads or head towards the empire? Because the dirt roads seem to, in a very lackadaisical way, lead toward the mesas and their inhabitants.

Stare in awe at the wizard for a while, then scramble back up onto the Warbeast and hide.

Edit: Accept any booze the dino happens to offer me. Cautiously taste it, see if it agrees with my rodent-ish tastebuds and digestion.
You sit with the dino and both of you get pleasantly drunk. Eventually the war beast picks you up and plops you on the deck.

Wonderful! Land on the warbeast for now.

"Right, so there's a whole lot of yurts out there, chaps. Very quiet. Too quiet! No doubt there's trouble in there somewhere. Or maybe the sight of an ancient siege engine is one that they recognize. Or maybe they just feel that giant monsters are ample cause to run for the hills. Either way it seems like they're not feeling very sociable!"
You land on the warbeast and carefully yank a bone out of the charred body laying on the deck.

AoshimaMichio

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Re: The Infinite Heavens: Rock the Boat
« Reply #2323 on: May 25, 2016, 10:18:53 am »

Make sure to eat her brain and heart. Power and Strength resides in those. Gotta eat to grow big!

"Thank's for lift hyenaman!"
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Egan_BW

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Re: The Infinite Heavens: Rock the Boat
« Reply #2324 on: May 25, 2016, 12:55:14 pm »

"Hey, you guys left me behind. If you care. I know I'm pretty easy to ignore and such."

Go try to find some locals. be sure they can see my sweet bottle-bottom-shaped scar. Ask if anyone is willing to trade a tape recorder.
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Insatiable consumption. Ceaseless motion. Unstoppable destruction.
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