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Author Topic: How would dwarven civilization react to ___?  (Read 9681 times)

Evaris

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Re: How would dwarven civilization react to ___?
« Reply #15 on: July 22, 2015, 01:37:48 pm »

Quote
How would dwarves react to atomic energy and weapons?

"Ach, Urist, dinna stand to close while I pull this here lever..."


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How would dwarves react to space?

"Aye, I cannae dig here - whas tae point?"

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How would dwarves react to MTV?

"Och, what be this infernal crazy for?"

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How would dwarves react to tequila?

*glug* "Aye, this is acceptable booze."

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How would dwarves react to Justin Bieber?

"Why for is this childlike minstrel repeating themselves with such annoying frequency? For what ends does it have such tantrums?"

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How would dwarves react to alcohol fueled rockets?

"Och, that be a waste..."

This is awesome, so I gotta continue with...

How would dwarves react to asteroid mining?

How would dwarves react to peanut butter?

How would dwarves react to the Yellowstone Supervolcano? 

How would dwarves react to Soviet Russia?
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Orichalcum Dwarf Fortress: An expansion mod giving extra realistic options to many un-and-underused materials in game.  [currently out of date, may be revived in the future]

MonkeyHead

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Re: How would dwarven civilization react to ___?
« Reply #16 on: July 22, 2015, 01:42:53 pm »


Quote
How would dwarves react to asteroid mining?

"Ha! Look Urist, slow motion cave ins!"

Quote
How would dwarves react to peanut butter?

"Och, its all in me beard..."

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How would dwarves react to the Yellowstone Supervolcano?

"Urist, here be where our Magmaforges will go..." 

Quote
How would dwarves react to Soviet Russia?

"Ach, this seems like a nice place..."
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GoblinCookie

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Re: How would dwarven civilization react to ___?
« Reply #17 on: July 23, 2015, 12:38:38 pm »

Where we look at our dwarfy selves and ask profound questions. I will give a list of mostly fictional people from human media and ask you guys how you think dwarves would think, do, and interact upon the discovery of these. You can do it in any way you wish. Maybe you want to treat as a journal entry, or as an engraving. I am curious as to what you guys come up with. I prefer humor by the way. Oh and also feel free to suggest anything to add to the list below:

Smurfs
Snorks (the underwater ones)
Care Bears
Ewoks
Jedi

1.  They would generally admire smurf society but would quickly ask awkward questions about smurf's VPL settings.  They would ask the question "what does smurfette do?" at which point the smurfs would patiently explain that Smurfette is supposed to be an idle noble and since that stopped working Smurfette has simply had all her labours disabled.  Then a heated argument would break out between them as to whether [MENIAL_WORK_EXEMPTION] not working is a bug or a feature and whether there is any reason with Toady's latest labour developments for each smurf to have nearly all their labours disabled.  But since smurfs have no weapons and dwarves are not allowed by the code to launch invasions due to a lack of invasion conditions everything works out peacefully.

2. Obviously they would try to start a snork breeding program and try slaughter them for their valuable bones.  At which they would realise they have the [INTELLIGENT] tag and this was not allowed, causing must despair among the dwarves.

3. They would be amazed as to how a single civilization managed to obtain such a variety of colours when the historical character to site ratio is so low.

4. They would quickly mistake them for elves.

5. They would ask the jedi which human god they were or whether they were just another demon in disguise.

The real questions that must be asked are...

How would dwarves react to atomic energy and weapons?

How would dwarves react to space?

How would dwarves react to MTV?

How would dwarves react to tequila? 

How would dwarves react to Justin Bieber? 

How would dwarves react to alcohol fueled rockets? 

1. By digging deeper into the earth and abandoning the surface world completely.

2. They would catapult captured goblins into it.

3. They would ban it for spreading 'capitalist propoganda'.

4. They would stockpile it interchangably with all the other items in the 'drinks' category.

5. At the moment they would imprison him but in the coming release who knows.

6. They would think 'what a waste'.


This is awesome, so I gotta continue with...

How would dwarves react to asteroid mining?

How would dwarves react to peanut butter?

How would dwarves react to the Yellowstone Supervolcano? 

How would dwarves react to Soviet Russia?

1. They would finally see a point in a space mining.

2. They would have trouble stockpiling it properly.

3. They would immediately set up a fortress right on top of it.

4.  They would apply for membership of the Internationale.  Then they would try and buy machine guns with barrels of prepared meals and wonder why that was not working.
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FallacyofUrist

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Re: How would dwarven civilization react to ___?
« Reply #18 on: July 24, 2015, 09:19:35 pm »

How would dwarves react to America?
How would dwarves react to modern laptop computers(fully charged)?
How would dwarves react to Dwarf Fortress?
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Loud Whispers

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Re: How would dwarven civilization react to ___?
« Reply #19 on: July 26, 2015, 03:18:08 pm »

How would dwarves react to America?
How would dwarves react to modern laptop computers(fully charged)?
How would dwarves react to Dwarf Fortress?
1. Yellowstone volcano embark, it does not bode well for the rest of the world.
2. They somehow manage to make supercomputers out of the laptops by linking them together with masterwork granite mechanisms.
3. We must go deeper

superbob

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Re: How would dwarven civilization react to ___?
« Reply #20 on: July 27, 2015, 07:30:26 am »

How would dwarves react to Kerbals?
How would dwarves react to The Sims?
How would dwarves react to Trolling Saruman?
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Dozebôm Lolumzalìs

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Re: How would dwarven civilization react to ___?
« Reply #21 on: July 29, 2015, 12:26:32 pm »

For the Sims:  "Ach, why are the humans not mining?  Why can't I tell them to mine?  How does this work if they don't mine?  Where are the forges?  Where are the craftsdwarf's shops?  Where are the dwarves..."
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The Big D

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Re: How would dwarven civilization react to ___?
« Reply #22 on: August 05, 2015, 03:52:11 am »

Kerbals - "Och Urist, get the engineers onto some o' these designs! Get Catten ta grab a few goblins oot o' the cells, we ought to use em fer SOMEthin
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If it's magma resistant, mod it so it's not!

WordsandChaos

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Re: How would dwarven civilization react to ___?
« Reply #23 on: August 05, 2015, 07:44:09 am »

Kerbals: They'd fire the rockets at the ground, with autonomous pick axes attached to the front. Industrial mining.

The Sims; They'd be first irritated by the above-ground nature of the game, then they'd feel irritated by the tiny embark sizes.

Alfrodo

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Re: How would dwarven civilization react to ___?
« Reply #24 on: August 08, 2015, 06:39:07 pm »

Quote
How would dwarves react to Justin Bieber?

After hearing his music and etc. They would hire an elf to kill him, eat his corpse and make a hat from his skin.

Might as well do my own.

How would Dwarves React to Octagon YTPMV?
How would Dwarves React to My Little Pony?
How would Dwarves React to the Internet?
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Lidku

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Re: How would dwarven civilization react to ___?
« Reply #25 on: August 09, 2015, 12:11:31 pm »

1. The Dwarves would make master work engravings how the great YTPMV is.
2  The Dwarves would tame the Ponies and use them as War animals.
3  The Dwarves would use the internet as a new trap that will make invaders be stuck in a dank meme paradox.

How would Dwarves react to DBZ?
How would Dwarves react to Donald Trump?
How would Dwarves react to Minecraft?
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Alfrodo

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Re: How would dwarven civilization react to ___?
« Reply #26 on: August 09, 2015, 01:04:48 pm »

1. The Dwarves would make master work engravings how the great YTPMV is.
2  The Dwarves would tame the Ponies and use them as War animals.
3  The Dwarves would use the internet as a new trap that will make invaders be stuck in a dank meme paradox.

How would Dwarves react to DBZ?
How would Dwarves react to Donald Trump?
How would Dwarves react to Minecraft?

"There's like, only 1 bearded bloke? How is this entertainment?!"
"He needs a beard to match his wealth, we're looking at at LEAST 40 maybe 80 feet..."
"Where are the quality modifiers on the swords n' picks? This treats my craft like its something a 6 year old can do!" *grabs monitor *melts monitor *makes monitor into sword.
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Bins stacked full of mangoes were laid out in rows. On further inspection of the market, Cog came to the realization that everything was mangoes.

superbob

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Re: How would dwarven civilization react to ___?
« Reply #27 on: August 09, 2015, 07:25:16 pm »

How would Dwarves react to Minecraft?

Upon discovering the portal to the blocky world of Minecraft the dwarves would set up a small fort on the other side and proceed to haul in cages with necromancers and war animals. They would quickly learn how to deal with creepers and trap them along with other creatures wondering the world, including the Players. To the horror of everyone witnessing the event, the dwarves would process the Minecraft fauna in necro-meat factories and attempt to breed Steves and Alexes for their valuable bones. Undead and traps would spiral outward as dwarves claimed more land.

The first thing dwarves would do after securing the initial fort would be to dig down. They would build pump stacks and set the above wold on fire with lava. Upon discovering there is no candy beneath the last layer of this world, they would mark the surface with paths of blood and vomit as they searched for their prize. Until the first Nether portal was discovered.

The creatures of Nether would stand no chance against the dwarves who had previously conquered hell in their world. Having wiped out all life near the portal, the dwarves would begin to colonize the dimension. They would make it their home in this blocky world.
« Last Edit: August 09, 2015, 07:28:40 pm by superbob »
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Lidku

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Re: How would dwarven civilization react to ___?
« Reply #28 on: August 10, 2015, 01:34:40 am »

How would Dwarves react to Minecraft?

Upon discovering the portal to the blocky world of Minecraft the dwarves would set up a small fort on the other side and proceed to haul in cages with necromancers and war animals. They would quickly learn how to deal with creepers and trap them along with other creatures wondering the world, including the Players. To the horror of everyone witnessing the event, the dwarves would process the Minecraft fauna in necro-meat factories and attempt to breed Steves and Alexes for their valuable bones. Undead and traps would spiral outward as dwarves claimed more land.

The first thing dwarves would do after securing the initial fort would be to dig down. They would build pump stacks and set the above wold on fire with lava. Upon discovering there is no candy beneath the last layer of this world, they would mark the surface with paths of blood and vomit as they searched for their prize. Until the first Nether portal was discovered.

The creatures of Nether would stand no chance against the dwarves who had previously conquered hell in their world. Having wiped out all life near the portal, the dwarves would begin to colonize the dimension. They would make it their home in this blocky world.
GG, best reply on Bay12 hands down. Please correct me if I am wrong.
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Imic

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Re: How would dwarven civilization react to ___?
« Reply #29 on: June 16, 2016, 03:13:29 pm »

Just found this. Must say, wow.
And...
World of warcraft
A library
Mt. St. Helens
England
Ireland
Scotland
Game of thrones
Lotr
The hobbit
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