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The fortress's situation is looking increasingly unsalvageable. What do?

Roll back to before Taupe's disastrous turn
Keep going and see what happens
Let it die

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Author Topic: (34.11 Succession) Clobbermountains -- The End(?)  (Read 372715 times)

Mr Frog

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Re: (34.11 Succession) Clobbermountains -- Jungle Fever!
« Reply #285 on: July 27, 2015, 09:32:10 pm »

I was all, "You dudes have trespassed on our territory, and in the name of Queen Datan Chewlance, Queen Urvad Fortressvoiced, and His Gaudiness King Erib Catchtowns, I sentence you all to death. (The elves started looking concerned at this point.) The path of the righteous dwarves is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil dudes. Blessed are we who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherd the weak through the valley of the darkness, for we are truly our bro's keeper and the finder of lost children. And we will strike down upon you dudes with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy our brothers. (Then I raised my other arm and all of the crossbow guys loaded and aimed together; it was really neat and I'm pretty sure that the lady elf shit herself.) And you will know I am the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you!" (I worked all night on that speech so I hope it's good.)

Sooo... gonna put this entire thing in the quotes repository.
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cherry-hearts

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Re: (34.11 Succession) Clobbermountains -- Jungle Fever!
« Reply #286 on: July 28, 2015, 01:28:47 am »

Overseer's Log, 25th Felsite 203:

I had to give the bossman (that's me, bro) a pat on the back when I saw all the unwanted Elven stuff and the Elven bodies tossed into the volcano; it's where that stuff belongs, man. Now that that threat is dealt with, I can continue working on my evil schemes and my duties as overseer to make this fortress look good and work nicely.

Now, I didn't have any animal bros when I was living in my plantation house, but I used to live in the Mountainhome, and believe me, there's nothing worse than a fortress full of animals. They just, like, take up space and do nothing. So, I've come up with a new policy: eat the animals.



The colonel said something a long time ago about the troops' equipment being insufficient or something, so I've decided that I might as well order some new leather armor, but we actually don't have a leather workshop anywhere. It's like, what the heck? I also want to install some better traps by the entrances, but when I brought up the idea, the crazy old bossman—Mr Frog, I think—came running up to me yelling that "long trap hallways are against the ruuuuuuuuuuuuules," and that "they made the game less fun." I think he's really lost it, but I don't want any crazy dude after my ass, so I'll just install a few big traps.

I decided to copy the full order I gave to the manager below, cause I'm a pretty efficient bossman dude.



If we're going to make all this stuff, we're gonna need some more metal, so I guess there'll be some more mining.


Overseer's Log; 6th Hematite 203:

So, the animal trainers came up to me and told me some great news. They managed to train that grizzly bear that we won from the elves. That is totally awesome!



So then I tell the animal trainers: "I'm taking this." Then I took it.





From now on, whenever you mess with Jef, you mess with the bear.


Overseer's Log; 28th Hematite 203:

Woah! Where did that last month go? I mean, sometimes when I put my pipe to my mouth, time just kind of passes in a haze, but I swear it went by faster this time without too much happening. One thing's for certain, we're outgrowing our own fortress. We gotta expand man, and fast. I've ordered more sections to be dug out for stockpiles, but we NEED more miners if we want to even get THAT done. I mean, by mansion's not even ready yet.



What we need are more picks so that I can get some guys who aren't really doing anything to start digging. Hopefully, that stuff can all just happen before the end of the year.
« Last Edit: July 29, 2015, 06:38:17 pm by cherry-hearts »
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Noel.se

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Re: (34.11 Succession) Clobbermountains -- Jungle Fever!
« Reply #287 on: July 28, 2015, 09:01:36 am »

I've been away for the last two days, looks like some interesting stuff happened.

Diary of Noel Logemsedur, bookkeeper of Clobbermountains

The pages of this diary are written in the phonetic transcription of a rural dialect, hard to read for most.

23rd of Felsite, year 203

I grew up in some dwarven hillocks and my parents were farmers. They always said bad things about the the mountain folk, that they lose sight of reality after spending so many years underground, that they are proud and feel invincible, which leads them to acts of folly. They bury their heads in the sand and believe not what is true, but what is comfortable. However, for us young people the mountainhalls were the coolest places ever, places were you could escape the monotony of rural life and were you could make yourself a name.
I left home  after a famine ravaged our lands. I had enough of misery and hunger and decided to seek my fortune elsewhere. The hillocks were the wrong place for me and my wife. We heard rumors about a new outpost called Clobbermountains and thought we could be part of the pioneers working on creating a great, strong fortress who would without a doubt become famous. And I longed for a more intellectually challenging line of work than farming.
This my third year in Clobbermountains. I lost my wife, some teeth and all of my initial optimism. Yesterday the new Overseer ordered the death of a few tree-huggers who came to trade. Because that's what we need: more enemies trying to kill us. My parents are yet again being proven right.
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Mr Frog

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Re: (34.11 Succession) Clobbermountains -- Jungle Fever!
« Reply #288 on: July 28, 2015, 02:03:56 pm »

tbh it might have been a better idea to leave the animals alive, as I'm pretty sure they can be targetted by banshee screams instead of dwarves and so can absorb some of the damage should we be unable to get rid of a raiding party in time for whatever reason.

If you really have a hard-on for traps then cage traps are totally acceptable and will provide us with live test subjects for mutant warfare.

E: Also, upright spike traps still work on Spawn, so that may be a worthwhile addition to chew up their ranks a bit. Again, though, let's not go too crazy with them; IIRC Spearbreakers managed to completely-trivialise Spawn attacks by making a long spikey bridge surrounded by a sheer drop onto more spikes :V
« Last Edit: July 28, 2015, 02:06:57 pm by Mr Frog »
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Splint

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Re: (34.11 Succession) Clobbermountains -- Jungle Fever!
« Reply #289 on: July 28, 2015, 02:41:38 pm »

E: Also, upright spike traps still work on Spawn, so that may be a worthwhile addition to chew up their ranks a bit. Again, though, let's not go too crazy with them; IIRC Spearbreakers managed to completely-trivialise Spawn attacks by making a long spikey bridge surrounded by a sheer drop onto more spikes :V

Yeah, but it took a monstrous amount of metal spikes/spears, and even that tended to not always work. Hell, it was never even fully finished and more than a few spawn had to be met up close to polish them off (we only ever got a third of the spikes we needed on the bottom level, and the drop wasn't even far enough to kill them outright.) It'd take years of mineral scouting for the iron, copper, and silver we'd need for the spikes, actually smithing said spikes, and multiple mechanics to get that done in a reasonable capacity.

As to animals, it would've been smarter to keep the dogs for mutant testing, or at least letting them grow to full size for more meat and such.

Mr Frog

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Re: (34.11 Succession) Clobbermountains -- Jungle Fever!
« Reply #290 on: July 28, 2015, 06:28:42 pm »

Yeah, but it took a monstrous amount of metal spikes/spears, and even that tended to not always work. Hell, it was never even fully finished and more than a few spawn had to be met up close to polish them off (we only ever got a third of the spikes we needed on the bottom level, and the drop wasn't even far enough to kill them outright.) It'd take years of mineral scouting for the iron, copper, and silver we'd need for the spikes, actually smithing said spikes, and multiple mechanics to get that done in a reasonable capacity.

'K. You probably remember it better than I do, lol. So, uh, yeah, go nuts with the spikes if you want as long as they don't have to wander through like 20 tiles of them to reach the fort. Hahaha.

I also remember that the spike-bridge was responsible for at least one friendly death, so there's that too.
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Splint

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Re: (34.11 Succession) Clobbermountains -- Jungle Fever!
« Reply #291 on: July 28, 2015, 06:50:14 pm »

Yeah, but it took a monstrous amount of metal spikes/spears, and even that tended to not always work. Hell, it was never even fully finished and more than a few spawn had to be met up close to polish them off (we only ever got a third of the spikes we needed on the bottom level, and the drop wasn't even far enough to kill them outright.) It'd take years of mineral scouting for the iron, copper, and silver we'd need for the spikes, actually smithing said spikes, and multiple mechanics to get that done in a reasonable capacity.

'K. You probably remember it better than I do, lol. So, uh, yeah, go nuts with the spikes if you want as long as they don't have to wander through like 20 tiles of them to reach the fort. Hahaha.

I also remember that the spike-bridge was responsible for at least one friendly death, so there's that too.

I actually dunno if we even finished the thing's top parts for that matter. (I think we got all but the last 5-8 or so tiles.)

And yes, Sus met his end. Pretty sure the actual death was due to hitting the ground head first. After dodging the last patch of spikes or something.

Mr Frog

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Re: (34.11 Succession) Clobbermountains -- Jungle Fever!
« Reply #292 on: July 28, 2015, 06:59:03 pm »

Spoiler: A Secret Letter (click to show/hide)

(Probably should have written this during Splint's turn when it was relevant, but I didn't for some reason. Oopsie-doodles)

E: Changed a name, since it had implications I didn't intend.
« Last Edit: July 28, 2015, 07:06:56 pm by Mr Frog »
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cherry-hearts

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Re: (34.11 Succession) Clobbermountains -- Jungle Fever!
« Reply #293 on: July 28, 2015, 07:17:01 pm »

Overseer's Log; 1st Malachite 203:

So, the colonel came up to me today to yell at me about something. I think it had to do with me ordering most of the animals to their deaths, but I really don't remember—I was pretty high at the time. It kind of bothers me that he thinks he can be a backseat-overseer; I've got the book, so I make the decisions, dude.

Speaking of ordering animals to their death, some puppies were born today. I've got to get them dealt with ASAP.



Talk about fresh meat, bro!


Overseer's Log; 4th Malachite 203:

I only just now noticed that the dudes in this fortress have elected their first mayor. Neat, but I'm not really into politics myself; I just want to know what he wants.





I gave him the sweet suite near my future mansion, but apparently that's not enough because he doesn't have an armor stand—what a fussy guy.



Oh well. I mean, it's not like making an armor stand is THAT much of a problem.


Overseer's Log; 15th Malachite 203:

MORE migrants!



Meh, whatever.


Overseer's Log; 19th Malachite 203:

A ton of those migrants had TOTALLY useless skills, so I kinda asked a bunch of them to just be miners instead. That means we need even more picks.



I'm pretty sure copper works as well as iron.


Overseer's Log; 12th Galena 203:

Disaster has struck dude! One of those clouds blew in the worst place at the worst time, and four—count 'em—four dwarves have turned! Even the mayor!



I guess his term ended early, if you know what I mean. Crashmaster was elected to replace him, the popular dude that he is.

I gotta wait until the cloud's gone before I send out the colonel; we don't want any soldiers going all freaky on us. In fact, ImageDeo, the sarge, just barely dodged the clouds.


Overseer's Log; 17th Galena 203:

A couple of goblin squads came to try and ambush us, but—get this—they walked right into the cloud! The one's that didn't turn right away started fighting, and one of the mutants got brought down—we'll loot the body later. Once all of them turned into monsters, they just left. Neat, huh? There were also a few thieves, but they got scared off.

Overseer's Log; 24th Galena 203:

So, the whole business with the mutants is over, because they're all dead. The troops also spotted three of those kobold guys and killed two and told the third to bugger off. There was also this really weird thing that happened where a goblin snatcher guy came, but HE was one of those freaky guys. He killed one of the sword ladies' babies and stuffed it in his sack, and he got away before we could catch him. Bummer.

All the soldiers are pretty unhappy right now, so I'm going to have their barracks smoothed and engraved to cheer them up.

Also there are humans so we should probably trade.


OOC: A very productive season has ended in a somewhat pyrrhic victory, and now a lot of the soldiers are unhappy. Worst case scenario is I discharge the soldiers that throw tantrums and lock them somewhere where they can't hurt anyone.

Also, the engravers are refusing to engrave any slabs, even though we have several. What's the deal?
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—Francisco Franco

Splint

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Re: (34.11 Succession) Clobbermountains -- Jungle Fever!
« Reply #294 on: July 28, 2015, 07:29:18 pm »

The craftsdwarf shop sharing the room with the masons is stockpile linked for stonecrafting. Use the other one.

EDIT: As to the soldiers, find someone to start cooking stuff outta the food the humans brought if you can. I bet some high quality meals will help perk the boys and girls up. They'll get over having to waste four unfortunates. Speaking of, who got the kills on them? Cause this is gonna make for some good journalin'.

cherry-hearts

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Re: (34.11 Succession) Clobbermountains -- Jungle Fever!
« Reply #295 on: July 28, 2015, 08:04:49 pm »

Overseer's Log; 1st Limestone 203:

A bunch of angry-looking soldier guys came up to me with their weapons drawn and some rope in their hands tied in a loopy shape and they were all like "where's the food Jef?" I was all "I dunno what you mean," but then they just got angry and pointed their weapons at my throat and said, like, "we want the good food" and stuff like that. Also they don't have backpacks and flasks to carry food, so I was all "I think I can make some arrangements."





That seemed to make them calm down a little. The soldiers have all been a little on-edge lately, and I hear that one of them—Sazir, I think—has been starting fist fights. They all need to chill out.


@Splint:
- Mikethete killed Iden Loneguilds
- Taupe killed Feb Raketrades
- Mistêm Chancetheater killed Kumil Handlechaoses, our first mayor
- Ber Bustwheels killed Urdim Cloiserdesert
- Sazir Boltlucid killed two kobolds
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"Un estado totalitario armonizará en España el funcionamiento de todas las capacidades y energías del país, que dentro de la Unidad Nacional, el trabajo estimado como el más ineludible de los deberes será el único exponente de la voluntad popular."
—Francisco Franco

Mr Frog

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Re: (34.11 Succession) Clobbermountains -- Jungle Fever!
« Reply #296 on: July 28, 2015, 08:09:14 pm »

My question is what on earth a bunch of crafters and a planter-cum-mayor were doing outside :V

Snatcher/thief AI is really weird and tends to clash with other things. I remember I had to turn Building Destroyer off on the Spawn because it kept breaking the thieve's AI.

Quote
Once all of them turned into monsters, they just left. Neat, huh?

I don't know if that's "normal" for undead-ified enemies or if I legitimately fucked something up with the raws (i.e. if it's Toady's fault or my fault)
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zacen299

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Re: (34.11 Succession) Clobbermountains -- Jungle Fever!
« Reply #297 on: July 28, 2015, 08:31:09 pm »

It seems like most of modding this game is trying to figure out what crazy thing you need to do to make the A.I actually barely function. I'm probably over exaggerating but hey. 
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I (somehow) wield a marble coffin that i fill with the corpses of all I have slain (to make an already heavy object even heavier) in one hand, and the other holds a book made out out of fucking platinum. The book can crush skulls, and the coffin grows ever stronger and now that is has a few dead dragons in it, it sends people flying a mile backwards to explode in a pile of gore. Gore which I then place into the coffin,

Mr Frog

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Re: (34.11 Succession) Clobbermountains -- Jungle Fever!
« Reply #298 on: July 28, 2015, 08:35:47 pm »

It seems like most of modding this game is trying to figure out what crazy thing you need to do to make the A.I actually barely function. I'm probably over exaggerating but hey.

Only if you try to go far outside what vanilla DF does, obviously, but yes -- the big question when modding, after "did I fuck up the tags", is always "will this make the game spazz out". Although, I don't think the mutant ambushers leaving the map was my fault, as I did a bit of searching and quickly found a couple posts which appear to be describing similar occurrences with vanilla husks.
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A great human twisted into humanoid form. It has an emaciated appearance and it squirms and fidgets. Beware its bronyism!

Spawn of Holistic, and other mods

My tileset. Because someone asked. (Now with installation instructions!)
I so want your spawn babies

Splint

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Re: (34.11 Succession) Clobbermountains -- Jungle Fever!
« Reply #299 on: July 28, 2015, 08:36:58 pm »

Probably counts them as "routed" unless there's a valid target in sight.
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