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Should we be proud of our Giant War Keas?

GO KEAS WOOUH!
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...They suck.
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Author Topic: 'Murderflood: (Ardentdikes IIIv3) You, there, grab this save!  (Read 177366 times)

QuQuasar

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Re: 'Murderflood: Resurrection II: The Reboot (Ardentdikes IIIv3)'
« Reply #1020 on: August 24, 2016, 03:16:36 am »

OOC:
Apparently I missed a nestbox and 3 Giant Peregrine Falcons hatched. Game hasn't crashed despite a few saves, so hopefully it was just the hordes of turtles that were a problem, and we can look at restarting Kea and Falcon breeding. I'm not going to risk it, though: I've ordered the falcon's nest box deconstructed.

Does anyone know if Bastiongate had any animal child states modded into it? I'm wondering if it's possible the loading crash was related to the turtle babies, and we can breed the birds without risk.

Also, I’m having trouble getting dwarves to smelt things for a bit of backup silver and lead. I’m guessing every single smelter is linked to the nearby ore stockpiles, but I haven’t really examined them. Does anyone have the cliff notes on these things?

IC:

Yar, there be a sickness what be goin' about. It be causin' dizzyness and nausea in small creatures like dwarven children, and kills even smaller ones, like giant snapping turtle children. Unfortunately, we be a bit spoilt for choice when it comes to suspicious liquids: there be isolated spots of forgotten beast, titan and unidentifiable 'corrupted' blood all over the damn place. Murderflood really needs better hygiene. When my cistern be finished, I’ll get some o’ these chum-chuckin’ layabouts swabbin’ the decks.
 
Some of our older peregrine falcon chicks have been bitted by cave spiders and are now permanently dizzy. I've had them pastured, but for a while there I simply couldn't be keepin’ them out of the caverns: one particularly suicidal check even got stuck in the trap corridor for a while. Inquisitive, dizzy little birds. It be adorable.



Also, the magma dump finally be safe again, and I've resumed dumping all the cavern corpsies.





A terrible golem roams the first cavern layer!



Well, if'n ye be comin' ta' kill us, beastie, do ye think ye could do us a favor first? We be needin' somethin' to kill those pond grabbers.



Dammit, ye be a fukkin' coward of a stoney-earwiggy-thing! Milita, to arms! TO ARMS! Before it bashes through the door!



It be beatin' on the door. Beatin' and beatin' and thumpin' and thumpin'...



Oh geez I'm just about ready to just let ye in already, ye great big yellow lump. What's takin' ye so long? It's just a granite dooOHSHIT!



This be a fight! Everybody pile on! We be dwarves, AND WE WON'T BE DEFEATED BY THE LIKES OF YE- oh it be dead already.



Kill: Sibrek Roomrams the Magical Syrups of Lurching



Our dining room in the main complex wasn't being used: apparently, it’s been “closed fer maintenance” fer years, so I installed a few caged cockatiels and told everyone it was open. Instantly Urist McRandomDwarf threw a party, so I closed it fer maintenance again. Get back to work on me Dome ye scum-suckers. Ye can party when Murderflood is burnin' under a lake of magma.
 
Err... not that I actually intend to flood the fortress in magma, o’ course. That Would Be Bad. The Last Resort Cistern is only ta’ be used to bring the saga of Murderflood to an honourable, climactic and thematically appropriate conclusion if there be no other way.

Although...

... I find meself strangely disappointed that nobody’s died buildin’ it yet. Not that that be a bad thing, but from a purely narrative standpoint a device such as this should be filled with fire, mortared with blood and christened with death!

Fire we’ve got plenty of, an' blood mortar we've been wierdly literal about fer some reason...



... but as fer death, well... Asmoth didn’t even break anything thanks to her armour, Azula and meself both managed to climb to the safety of the stairs when we stranded ourselves on the dome (that was a scary few minutes, let me tell ye!), an’ nobody’s been hit by fallin’ debris because everyone here be so damn meticulous about carefully setting the bars aside after deconstructing a temporary floor. It be a good thing, of course, but...

An’ also... I be plagued by nightmares lately. Dreams of fire, an’ death. A mother an’ her newborn baby, burning beneath a towering slug. An injured dwarf carrying the corpse of a crundle, melting by the side of the Dike. A vague shape of mist or steam, floating over Flame III as she sleeps. Zuglarkun’s head. An’ for some reason turtles? Why so many turtles? I might leave the turtles out of the tale, I assume they’re not relevant.

I be conflicted. These dwarves be under me care as overseer, an’ yet... the story won’t be perfect. Not without blood. Not without fire. Not without... a sacrifice.

Mmmmm... yaaarrr...
« Last Edit: August 24, 2016, 05:00:35 am by QuQuasar »
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TheFlame52

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Re: 'Murderflood: Resurrection II: The Reboot (Ardentdikes IIIv3)'
« Reply #1021 on: August 24, 2016, 09:00:00 am »

Speaking of blood mortar, have you looked at the area around the main well yet?

Haerdalas

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Re: 'Murderflood: Resurrection II: The Reboot (Ardentdikes IIIv3)'
« Reply #1022 on: August 24, 2016, 05:02:24 pm »

Ah, so I (Haerdalas) am the Bookkeeper? I wasnt sure what to look for in the combat logs, and my name hasnt been mentioned in a while.

If possible, could I please get some custom job profession to help identify me in a combat log?
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Taupe

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Re: 'Murderflood: Resurrection II: The Reboot (Ardentdikes IIIv3)'
« Reply #1023 on: August 24, 2016, 05:12:31 pm »

What's corrupted blood...?

TheFlame52

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Re: 'Murderflood: Resurrection II: The Reboot (Ardentdikes IIIv3)'
« Reply #1024 on: August 24, 2016, 05:18:11 pm »

Blood man blood.

Taupe

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Re: 'Murderflood: Resurrection II: The Reboot (Ardentdikes IIIv3)'
« Reply #1025 on: August 24, 2016, 06:13:31 pm »

Blood man blood.
''It's blood man blood, man''

Triaxx2

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Re: 'Murderflood: Resurrection II: The Reboot (Ardentdikes IIIv3)'
« Reply #1026 on: August 24, 2016, 09:28:49 pm »

Haerdalas is MrsTriaxxII
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Taupe

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Re: 'Murderflood: Resurrection II: The Reboot (Ardentdikes IIIv3)'
« Reply #1027 on: August 24, 2016, 09:35:25 pm »

Haerdalas is MrsTriaxxII
That's just so romantic :D

QuQuasar

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Re: 'Murderflood: Resurrection II: The Reboot (Ardentdikes IIIv3)'
« Reply #1028 on: August 25, 2016, 04:11:30 am »

Yar! There be a cave crocodile corpse in the wrong end of the trap corridor! Dammit, haven’t ye lot replaced the cavern 1 door yet? Don’t ye knew there be beasties out there?
 

 
Wait, what’s it attackingdown there? There shouldn’t be any dwarves in the trap corridor... oh no.
 

 
Not me dizzy little falcons! I liked them! Ye bastard! Ye absolute bastard! I’ll kill ye! Someone, anyone, get down there and murder that thing in the face!
 

 
Me falcons... oh me poor little falcons...
 

 
Okay, that does it. Enough be enough. I be havin’ it with these motherfukkin’ undead in these motherfuckkin’ caverns.
 
BOMREK! ASMOTH! GIT YER FRIENDS!  YE BE GOING ON A TRIP!
 

 

 
Bomrek: “Waiiit... hold up, everyone. Do you hear that?”
 
Besmar: “I hear it. Sounds like a lot of them. It’s gonna be a heck of a fight.”
 
Bomrek: “...maybe not. Listen carefully. Does it sound like they’re getting closer?”
 

 
Besmar: “Why are they coming now and not before?”
 
Bomrek: “Dunno, but it suits me. Everyone stay back. If they’re gonna throw themselves on the traps for us, let them. There’ll be plenty to fight further out in the caverns, so there’s no point in taking risks this early in the game.”
 


(some time and at least a dozen zombies later)
 
Quasar: "What do ye lot think ye be doin’ standing around in the trap corridor?"

Bomrek: “We were just waiting for them to-"

Quasar: "Be ye dwarves or not? Get in there an’ kill those bastards, ye worthless cowards!"
 
Bomrek: “[sigh] Yes overseer. Let’s move out. By the books, people! At least two dwarves to every beast, keep an eye on your six, and don’t get cocky. Just because it looks harmless and funny doesn’t mean it is. Remember what happened to McKiwi!”
 


After clearing the local area, the crew carefully push into the caverns. It doesn’t take long before the smaller beasties give way to a bigger worry: another undead Draltha. This one is stuck up a tree, in the same place it was the last time we were down here.  The branches of the tree appear to be growing through its torso, immobilising it in the air. The big corpse be moanin’ and groanin’ at the dwarves as they approach.
 
The original plan be to get a woodcutter in to fell the tree so they can engage it on the ground, but Bomrek notices how close the beast is to the ground. It’d be a shame to waste an opportunity to strike the beast down while it be helpless in the air. Perhaps, if he can be standin’ on someone’s shoulders...
 

 
“Nicely done, boss.”
 
The crew pushed deeper, revealing the terrain and zombies at the northern end of the caverns. At the northern border another monster came into sight: once a blind cave ogre, now something far worse.



Luckily, or unluckily depending on ye’re view, the beast be trapped atop a mushroom in the middle of the lake.

Amongst the land-dwelling beasts be reachers, dozens of crundles and a giant rat... dangerous beasts in their own right, perhaps not to the level of blind cave ogres or undead forgotten beasts, but terrifying in their undead state nonetheless. There be many of them, and it was only a matter of time before someone’s luck ran thin. Sure enough...



The legendary weapon lords of Murderflood closed ranks around their injured companion as the unholy horde closed in from the darkness...




After a while, the fighting all blurs together into one big melee, a tale of swords swung, heads severed and crundles crushed. Admist the fighting Atir regained consciousness, got to his feet and began the long walk to the hospital, freeing his companions to push further in.

A few soldiers actions that be worthy of noting for the record:


Ultimately, everything they could reach died. Everything that got up, died again. Even the tree-dwelling draltha's head, which revived and tried to sneak into fortress while nobody was looking, met a comical end...



When all was said and done, when the last rotting crundle head was skewered, the second cavern system once again belonged to the dwarves of Murderflood. My dizzy falcon babies be avenged.



The remaining undead are all denizens of the underground lake, and appear content to leave us be. Or they just can't climb/swim out. Regardless, only two of them seem particularly dangerous: Gluttonfray the eyeless crocodile, and Cryptequals the blind cave ogre.

It would perhaps be advisable to tempt these two out from the lake if possible, so we can fight them on our own terms rather than waiting for them to rouse. I'll be considering it, but first things first...



Quasar: “Yar, ye there! Yes, ye, the hauly-dwarf. Tell me, ‘as anyone in this fortress made any fancy artifact doors? Ye know the sort, right?”

Sigun: “Oh, uh... yes, overseer. Two, I believe.”

Quasar: “Two artifact doors? That be excellent news! Do ye know where they’re bein’ used? I’ll bet the duchess or one of the former overseers be layin’ claim to ‘em, right?”

Sigun: “Um no, overseer. As far as I know, they’re still in the stockpiles.”

Quasar: “Still in the... well that be... stupid, but handy. Did ye’ know that artifact doors be imbued with the strength of Armok ‘imself?”

Sigun: “Uuuuhhh... no, overseer, I didn’t. Look, I really need to be... hauling... or something...”

Quasar: “Aye, not many dwarves know that, but it be true. Nay, listen up, ye’ go an’ get both those doors installed at the cavern entrances, aye?”

Sigun: “Err... okay, then, overseer. I guess I’ll do that.”





Okay, now it's time ta be doin' something about that thar forgotten beast corpse.



‘e’s too close to the entrance fer my tastes, but ‘e just sits there in the lake so we can’t just kill ‘im and be done with it. I be worried he’ll slip in and kill us all when we not be lookin’: our traps’ll keep everyone else out, but I have a sneakin' suspicious they won't be much use against ‘im.

Quasar: “Ye there, miner. Wassyername, “Goose”?”

Duck: ““Duck”, overseer.”

Quasar: “Aye, that’s what I said. I need ye to carve a tunnel in cavern 2, for totally reasonable reasons that have nothin' to do with usin' ye as bait for a hideous undead abomination. Here, take these plans.”



Duck: “Looks simple enough. Okay, I’ll take care of it.”

Quasar: “Excellent. Bomrek, I want ye lot to go down and station yourselves... actually, ye’d know better than I about tactics an' stuff, so work out where ye want ta fight a beastie an' do it, right?”

Bomrek: “Yes overseer. Squad, to me! We’re going back in!”



Duck: “AAAAARGGGHH! There’s a great big zombie cave crocodile in here! WHY DIDN’T ANYBODY TELL ME?”



Quasar: "Damn it, the beastie hasn’t moved! Ye’ scumbag of a duck, ye were supposed to lure it back to the militia! Get back in there and start lurin'!"

Duck: "What? NO!"

Quasar: "Ye'd better or I'll 'ave ye beaten fer violation of production order!"

Duck: "What does that even mean?!"

Quasar: "It means shut up an obey, that's what it means!"

Duck: "Why can't we just drop the roof on it's head?!"

Quasar: [silence]

Duck: "There's gotta be a reason we can't... I mean, you wouldn't have sent me in there if we could just drop something on it... right?"

Quasar: [silence]

Duck: "... you fucker."

Quasar: "Okay! We be havin' a new plan!"





Time ta' die, Gluttonfray. Ye be havin' a date with destiny, an' by "destiny" I mean two tons of slate, an by "date" I mean squishing.



Budda-BOOOOOOOM!



Fare the well, noble beastie. We hardly knew ye, and now ye are a pancake.





Yar, me magnum opus be nearin’ completion. We be buildin’ the final levels of the cistern as I write this, and the magma spigot be half complete. Most of the pump stack be in place, made of magma-proof glass of course, and I’ve anchored every pump to the structure with a wooden axle so it won’t be easy to destroy.

There still be much to do. We still have have to finalise the last few levels, add the mechanical workings, and of course, fill the cistern. It be an exciting time ta’ be a dwarf of murderflood!

QuQuasar

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Re: 'Murderflood: Resurrection II: The Reboot (Ardentdikes IIIv3)'
« Reply #1029 on: August 25, 2016, 04:19:33 am »

Ah, so I (Haerdalas) am the Bookkeeper? I wasnt sure what to look for in the combat logs, and my name hasnt been mentioned in a while.

If possible, could I please get some custom job profession to help identify me in a combat log?
You're now "Haerdalas II, Badass Bookworm".

... have you looked at the area around the main well yet?
Oh c'mon, how bad can it- YEEAAAUUURRRGGGHHH!

TheFlame52

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Re: 'Murderflood: Resurrection II: The Reboot (Ardentdikes IIIv3)'
« Reply #1030 on: August 25, 2016, 09:00:55 am »

Ha! That was my reaction too. Also, I don't know who put Gwolfski back in the military, he was wounded by goblin bows during my second turn and I took him out.

Blitzgamer

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Re: 'Murderflood: Resurrection II: The Reboot (Ardentdikes IIIv3)'
« Reply #1031 on: August 25, 2016, 09:36:32 am »

I am the world's most badass chef, all those years of mincing have given me the ability to mince my enemies to death. I'm not using a sword, I'm using an adamantine chef's knife! Now if only I knew what militia group I was part of. And why my only son, who's death would drive me to insanity, thereby depriving this great fortress of my martial and culinary prowess, is also part of the militia. Also, shouldn't we be filling the dome, digging out a separate part of Murderflood, moving everydwarf and flammable object over there, then flooding the original area in order to clean it in true Ardentdikes fashion? I volunteer the name of Ardentdome, in honor of our proud ancestral home, that is in another dimension.
« Last Edit: August 25, 2016, 11:01:03 am by Blitzgamer »
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Microline for everyone!

Taupe

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Re: 'Murderflood: Resurrection II: The Reboot (Ardentdikes IIIv3)'
« Reply #1032 on: August 25, 2016, 12:01:53 pm »

I like how the dome so far contains mostly blood splatters.

QuQuasar

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Re: 'Murderflood: Resurrection II: The Reboot (Ardentdikes IIIv3)'
« Reply #1033 on: August 25, 2016, 05:32:29 pm »

Gwolfsky’s a member of the backup marksdwarf squad, as is the Duchess and a couple other named dwarves. I suspect they’re actually just there for self-defence training and I’m not supposed to send them into the caverns, but hey: their name was on the list. If they didn’t want to be eaten by zombies, they wouldn’t have joined the militia.

Collin isn’t actually a militia-dwarf, he’s just an idiot. Much like Risen in the aborted timeline, he decided cleaning the trap corridor while the cave zombies were coming in and getting minced was an excellent idea, and I mistook his combat log for that of one of the militiadwarves.

As for cleansing the fortress in fire, what would be the point if you don’t also burn off all the nasty, dirty little parasites mucking up the place? That would be like giving a dog a flea bath after carefully removing all the fleas with tweezers and relocating them to another dog. Except instead of a bath, we’d be setting the dog on fire.

And yeah, blood. It be a literary metaphor for all the dwarven lives lost in the construction of this megaproject. Or that could have been lost, anyway. Why do all these dwarves have such a strong sense of self-preservation? They’re building a mass-suicide dome full of magma for Christs sake, you wouldn’t expect that to be the one megaproject where dwarvenkind starts paying attention to workplace health and safety.



By the way, I’m kind of tempted to “accidentally” trap a dwarf in the cistern when we start filling. I probably won’t, but if I do who should it be? Off the top of my head, dwarves who deserve to burn include:

Ablel: The guy who was the first to burn in the other timeline. I mention him because, thanks to a foot injury he never got a crutch for, he’s the slowest bastard in the fort after Gwolfsky.

Gwolfsky: Also slow due to paralysis, but since he’s the only surviving founder I don’t think it’s my place to get him killed. On purpose, at least.

Taupe: why is it that when a task requiring strength and speed (ie. carrying iron mechanisms across the fort to link up a lever) comes up, the weakest dwarves always insist on proving they’re just as capable as the sentient muscle piles? Also, his Kea’s couldn’t even kill a steam blob.

Zuglarkun IV: If I still want to burn someone and can’t bring myself to do it to an actual living dwarf, there’s always this guy.

Shipcat (Zuglarkun 5): Because running gags are funny.

...  or I could burn Quasar... hmm...
« Last Edit: August 25, 2016, 05:36:20 pm by QuQuasar »
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Taupe

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Re: 'Murderflood: Resurrection II: The Reboot (Ardentdikes IIIv3)'
« Reply #1034 on: August 25, 2016, 10:17:11 pm »

Dont kill me I helped this place survive its first terrorizing moments!
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