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Should we be proud of our Giant War Keas?

GO KEAS WOOUH!
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Author Topic: 'Murderflood: (Ardentdikes IIIv3) You, there, grab this save!  (Read 175828 times)

Triaxx2

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Re: 'Murderflood: Resurrection II: The Reboot (Ardentdikes IIIv3)'
« Reply #1080 on: September 13, 2016, 02:30:31 pm »

RAARGH! *waves axe*
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QuQuasar

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Re: 'Murderflood: Resurrection II: The Reboot (Ardentdikes IIIv3)'
« Reply #1081 on: September 13, 2016, 05:35:13 pm »

RAARGH! *waves axe*
.... that’s not an axe. That’s a war hammer.

[awkward pause]


The game went and crashed on me so I’m going to have to replay a month or so. The following is therefore non-canon, but I thought it was worth sharing:

I thought it would be romantic for Triaxx II and Haerdalas, our resident battle couple, to fight Smomper together. Instead, it went from romantic to tragic in 3.7 seconds when, somehow, only Haedalas was exposed to the vapours.

And then it went to black comedy when Triaxx fucked off to get a drink, leaving Haerdalas to suffocate alone in the darkness. Cold, dude.

And then back to tragic when Taupe arrived and carried Haerdalas to the surface. You could actually see her slowly dying by how fast she was flashing red, going from slow to fast, to really fast... she held on just long enough to reach the surface and see the sun again before her eyes closed for good.

And then to guilt when I realised there’s a hatch directly above Smomper apparently designed for pitting things into the caverns. I could have just been throwing dogs at it.

Which is exactly what I’m going to do this time around.



But since you didn’t get to test your mettle against Smomper, Triaxx, as an apology, let the records show I’m giving you a battle axe to wave around. You’re now officially an axe/ hammer duel-wielder.

Haerdalas

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Re: 'Murderflood: Resurrection II: The Reboot (Ardentdikes IIIv3)'
« Reply #1082 on: September 13, 2016, 09:45:10 pm »

...did I at least kill the damn thing before dying? I dont mind a heroic death, but I would like to think I would at least go out with style!
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QuQuasar

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Re: 'Murderflood: Resurrection II: The Reboot (Ardentdikes IIIv3)'
« Reply #1083 on: September 13, 2016, 11:12:58 pm »

...did I at least kill the damn thing before dying? I dont mind a heroic death, but I would like to think I would at least go out with style!
Oh, you utterly curbstomped it. Hacked off both wings and kicked it into dust, even after being fatally poisoned.

But luckily for the Badass Bookworm’s long term prospects of survival, when I replay that month your place as Martyr of Murderflood, Slayer of Smomper and Champion of the 3rd Cavern Layer will instead be taken by Duke Pugglesworth the War Corgi.

QuQuasar

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Re: 'Murderflood: Resurrection II: The Reboot (Ardentdikes IIIv3)'
« Reply #1084 on: September 14, 2016, 03:15:20 am »

The external walls be complete, and the rear bridge is set to be deconstructed. That will be the last great work of my term: I will endeavour to spend the rest of my time linking up the last of the mechanisms, cleaning and organising the fortress and generally getting Murderflood’s affairs in order. It does not do to be slovenly, even in one’s final hours. Nay, especially in one’s final hours. A dwarf should be productive to the very end, and the same holds true for a fortress.



I found a paired set of empty engraved rooms in one of the middle levels, below the tombs. They look like they were designed as noble quarters, but never used. Truly fine work by our legendary engravers.
Well there be an obvious course of action here...



... and it be to order our ridiculous surplus of coffins and slabs transferred to them. That should help organize things a little better upstairs.



While Smomper (heheh) be otherwise occupied gassing crundles...



... some dwarves have snuck into the 3rd caverns on my orders to fell nether caps. Normally we would have little use for the stuff, but I realised that if the right axles and gear assemblies be switched out for magma proof materials, the dome’s pumpstack will be able to run a little longer before their power is cut by the magma. Every little bit helps!



Yar, these bilge rats again.




“Goblins? Crap. Should I raise the bridge or get the militia, overseer?”

“Neither! Ye should be letting them in.”

What?

“Think about it. Do ye really want ta’ be trekking all the way out there and back again ta’ dump goblin corpses? If we let them in, they can haul themselves halfway to the dumping tower for us.”

“That seems... incredibly reckless.”

“Yar, it be a fine line between reckless and genius. I'm not surprised ye cannot tell the difference. Let the militia keep working for now, it’ll take the goblins some time to form up and organize a charge.”



After some time, the goblins started moving towards the trade depot.



They find an innocent there, and be drawing the first blood of the battle.



Sorry, beastie. Ye will be avenged!

The four frontrunners walk headlong into our weapon traps. Three are knocked unconscious with varying injuries, while one just barely dodges through and begins to nervously cross the bridge.

Alright, now the militia can stop work.

The battle itself ends up being a fairly straightforward affair: it only takes the first 5 members of the militia to arrive to wipe out the entire invading army. Aban, Imic the Keamaster, Solon, Dumat the Titanslayer, and the other Aban will go down in history as "those dwarves what beat up a bunch of goblins". Their terrible bloodlust be unable to be held back, and so they end up traversing the length of the entrance in one mighty charge, slaughtering everything in their path.





Excellent. The only casualties be Fath, a craftsdwarf who was hit with a stray crossbow bolt, Imic, who suffered a few bruises from a goblin mace, and Shem, who... jumped off the dome?



What the hell, Shem? Well, I guess I’ll need to find a new Dome Piercer for the time being. Who else be young and useless? Oi, ye there! Yeah, ye! What be yer name, young one? Zuglarkul? An' ye be shipcats brother, ye say?

Ye're perfect.



OOC: Shipcats parents have had birthed more than 10% of the fort's population. I think they're trying to take over by out-breeding the rest of us.





Haha, it be payback time.



Go, little zombie! Avenge yer own cowardly death!



... what.

Well screw ye too, ye crundead bastard..



Both crundle corpse and forgotten beast are making a beeline for the entrance. Woodcutters, get back inside. We’ll have to lock the door, but not yet. If we can just get those spikes linked up before they get here.

Dammit, no! The crundle be already at the gate. Haerdalas took care of matters...



... but it interrupted the mechanic tasked with hooking up the spikes. And now the beasties corpse be wedged in the door! This be bad! This be real bad! It be gonna get in aaaaaa- oh, ye've got the corpse out? Thank ye random corpse hauler! Oh god it be coming! Lock the door!



Okay, what've we got. A different mechanic managed to get one of the spike traps hooked up. Unfortunately...



... he hooked up the middle spikes, and the beastie be standing on the left spikes. So now Smomper be bashing ineffectually at the door, and we be having no way to kill him without exposing ourselves to his deadly vapours. Dammit, the noise is going ta' drive me nuts.



Triaxx II has taken up the noble art of duel wielding. I suspect he be having an inferiority complex, since his wife be a far better fighter than he.





Armok be damned, how many of these things do we have?



I mean, I'm all for being prepared to die, but do we really need to be outnumbered 3-to-1 by our own coffins?



Okay, screw the salt beastie, I'm not having it locking us out of our own damn caverns. I've discovered a hatch that should allow us to throw dogs at it.





Go forth, little dickless doggie of doom! Go forth and lay waste to the enemies of dwarvenkind!

.

Kill it! Tear yon beastie to shreds! It be yer destiny!!!



... or not. Alright, whose got the next do- no. Wait a second.

It be standing on the linked trap.



Eeeeeheeheeheeheehee. Oh this is going to be beautiful. One pull to retract the spikes....

[SHING]

... and then....



BWAHAHAHAHAHA! Take that, ye scumbag! We'll die by our own hand, ye hear! Dwarvenkind will never succumb to the like of ye!



And now we be beset by human streakers aparently.



I mean, really. Put some clothes on, nobody wants ta' see that.

OOC: Her hair is extremely long. She is corpulent. Her broad short ears are very flattened. Her teeth a tangled. She has high cheekbones. Her head is somewhat narrow. Her hair is white. Her skin is pale brown. Her eyes are taupe. NOW WE WILL KNOW WHY WE FEAR THE NIGHT.
« Last Edit: September 14, 2016, 05:44:57 am by QuQuasar »
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Triaxx2

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Re: 'Murderflood: Resurrection II: The Reboot (Ardentdikes IIIv3)'
« Reply #1085 on: September 14, 2016, 05:29:15 am »

What? Why should we be afraid if she has tiny dwarves for eyes?
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QuQuasar

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Re: 'Murderflood: Resurrection II: The Reboot (Ardentdikes IIIv3)'
« Reply #1086 on: September 14, 2016, 06:08:28 am »

What? Why should we be afraid if she has tiny dwarves for eyes?
Tiny dwarves are always a reason to fear.

Taupe

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Re: 'Murderflood: Resurrection II: The Reboot (Ardentdikes IIIv3)'
« Reply #1087 on: September 14, 2016, 03:27:00 pm »

What? Why should we be afraid if she has tiny dwarves for eyes?
Tiny dwarves are always a reason to fear.
''Her eyes are Taupe''
My true nature is revealed at last!

QuQuasar

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Re: 'Murderflood: Resurrection II: The Reboot (Ardentdikes IIIv3)'
« Reply #1088 on: September 16, 2016, 07:52:21 pm »

Yar. Winter be wearing on, and I be nearing the end of my term.

I had plans of organising the stockpiles of Murderflood before the end, and we even started sorting them, but I suspect such a task be beyond me. It truly astonishes me that Haerdalas can be making anything of that mess. Her record keeping skill is surpassed only by her crundle murdering capabilities. If any dwarf here be truly deserving of the honourable death I will generously bequeath to us all, it be her.



So instead of organisation, I've been focusing on a series of small tweaks to the fortress' architecture. The magma should of course be allowed to reach every corner of the fort eventually, so that there be nowhere a cowardly rat could hide, but it should also be concentrated first in the most populated corridors so that it may overtake and consume those pathetic fools who would be fleeing it's wrath.

To this end, the larger mining works have been blocked off with magma-proof doors, and pressure-tunnels have been added. Only when the rest of the fort be full will the pressure from the screw pumps force magma into them.





Shem still be injured, so Zuglar finished off the portholes. I like Zuglar. I'm glad he didn't burn to death prematurely. A hard worker like him should be allowed to burn to death with the rest of his family.



Now when the lever be pulled, magma will flow down the sides of my dome like a great waterfall in addition to flowing out from the center. It be be a grand sight to see, as befitting the last sight we will see.





Speaking of Shem, since I be the only doctor here with any skill in diagnosis, I've had the others practicing their diagnosing skills on the kid. I'll let them be stopping when they can all identify this as a "busted shoulder" and they stop suggesting we amputate the lungs or perform a liver transplant.




OOC: What is this, what even is this.

We'll all be grand master diagnosers in no time, which be good, because no time is exactly what all of us be having. The end of the month grows near, and my determination holds strong.



I be tellin' the militia to go back to training. I'll not be having our noble warriors die hauling furniture. They should at least be able to return to their chosen profession before the end.

I've also given weapon and armour to a few untrained dwarves, including myself, who I felt should be able to defend themselves should they be attacked between now and the end of the month.





They never stop coming.



Luckily, it be approaching from the first cavern layer, which means...



Actually, no. Wait! Wait up!

... I wanna pull the lever.





OOC: I love artifact doors, I really do.



Ye know what?! That creature made me realize: we not yet be done here! How can it be honourable to burn while the caverns still be infested with beasties?! That be little better than succumbing to an invasion!



Nay, I don't care if they be trapped! Woodcutters, get yer axes! Militia, to arms! We be cleaning the caverns fer good!





Kill goes to Blitz Gamer.



One down, one ta' go!



Now I don't know what this beasties blood does, so be careful ye hear? Don't get it on ye, and fer the love of Armok don't be tramping it into the fortress.

Ready?

No, ye not be ready, the woodcutters left without you. Run!



Two dwarves, 'De' the Militia Captain and Stukos the Teamster, make it there just in time to engage the beast as the Blood Thorn falls. The rest of the miltia be well behind them: this is entirely their fight.



Luckily, the beast is no match for SYNCHRONIZED DOUBLE DWARF BITE ATTACK.



OOC: all of the internet points for anyone who draws a picture of this moment.

... and also a lot of repetitive stabbing and slashing. Eventually it dies, and the kill goes to Stukos.



I have the area designated as 'restricted' and the bloodthorn logs and corpse forbidden. Nobody should have reason to go there.

Careful examination of De and Stukos reveals a minor miracle: no blood on their skin or clothes. De got some on his shield, and Stukos some on her axe. No telling what that would do when swung at an enemy.



Sadly, we will likely never find out. There be but one more week in my term.



Yar.

I admit to nervousness. I don't want to die. But I not be nearly as cowardly as these scumbags. I do want to ascend into the tales of history, born aloft by a wave of fire.

The fools won't let me take the overseer position again. They'll put their own cowardly schemer into the position, an' they'll undo all my great work. Nay. This be the only way ta' ensure my grand tale be seeing it's conclusion. This be the only way ta' ensure Murderflood burns by it's own hand rather than facing the shame of defeat.

We have conquered the beasts. Held off the goblins. Deanimated the undead.

Murderflood will never be greater than it is these moments, so it be fitting that these moments should be the ones to be encased in magma, that we may ascend to live eternally in stories and lore. Spring will see the dawn of a new age: an age where "Murderflood" no longer refers to a flesh and blood fortress, but to an idea.

Murderflood will fall, and rise again from the flames.

MURDERFLOOD WILL LIVE ETERNAL.



Poor Erith claimed a metalsmith's forge and now hurries about, gathering materials.



But he is too late. His grand artifact will never be. It is now the evening of the last day of the year. The twilight moments of Murderflood.



My great dome stands above the fortress, shining in the full moons light.



Beneath it, the scheming cowards have retreated to the dining hall, to hold the new years party. They make merry. Drink. Eat. Pelt Zuglarkun IV with leftovers. And plot to replace me. To undo all my grand work. To ensure my great tale never be told.

It doesn't matter. They don't know. They can't know. Not until the hourglass runs out. Not until the bell tolls midnight. Not until...



... my story...



... reaches...



... it's climax.



YAR!






OOC: Okay! That's my two turns done. Save has been converted to ascii, and is being uploaded to dffd.

YAR! SAVE BE HERE!



Notes for the next overseer:



1. OHGODOHSHITOHFUCK STOPME STOPME STOPME STOPME STOP ME BEFORE I KILL US AAAAAALL!!!!!
2. Eeeh, point 1 pretty much covers it.
3. Oh, there is a glass door on level 131 you can forbid to improve FPS. I'd have done it myself, but our current possessee is still in there.

Notes for everyone else:

Download the save and check it out! The Murderflood has been made worse BETTER. So much worse BETTER.
« Last Edit: September 17, 2016, 05:21:26 pm by QuQuasar »
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Taupe

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Re: 'Murderflood: Resurrection II: The Reboot (Ardentdikes IIIv3)'
« Reply #1089 on: September 16, 2016, 11:33:07 pm »

I am so proud of you.

TheFlame52

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Re: 'Murderflood: Resurrection II: The Reboot (Ardentdikes IIIv3)'
« Reply #1090 on: September 17, 2016, 10:19:25 am »

Possibly the best Murderflood turn to date.

Haerdalas

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Re: 'Murderflood: Resurrection II: The Reboot (Ardentdikes IIIv3)'
« Reply #1091 on: September 17, 2016, 07:35:00 pm »

Leaving your successor with a dwarf literally mid-task to doom the fortress? My hat is off to you, good sir.
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Taupe

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Re: 'Murderflood: Resurrection II: The Reboot (Ardentdikes IIIv3)'
« Reply #1092 on: September 18, 2016, 10:03:20 pm »

Alright, that means Ghills is next!

*whip lash*

C'mon, dont make me use that PM function thing from my phone!

QuQuasar

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Re: 'Murderflood: Resurrection II: The Reboot (Ardentdikes IIIv3)'
« Reply #1093 on: September 20, 2016, 10:25:13 pm »

By the way, I’d like to recommend a project to future overseers of Murderflood: deconstruct the fortifications, build proper walls, and raise the level of the dike. Doubling the amount of magma on the surface can only be a good thing. (Just be careful with the two spots in the northwest and southeast where the magma is allowed into the fort. Wall them off too to prevent a magma overflow).

Ghills

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Re: 'Murderflood: Resurrection II: The Reboot (Ardentdikes IIIv3)'
« Reply #1094 on: September 22, 2016, 10:55:46 am »

OK, I'll get the save after work. QuQuasar, do you still have the same with the tileset? I'm just going to install a tileset anyway, so if you have the same with one installed  that would save effort.
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I AM POINTY DEATH INCARNATE
Ye know, being an usurper overseer gone mad with power isn't too bad. It's honestly not that different from being a normal overseer.
To summarize:
They do an epic face. If that fails, they beat said object to death with their beard.
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