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[SaberToothTiger]

YES. I FINALLY CAN COUNTER THE SOVIET METEOR. BLACKLIST HIM AND ACCUSE HIM OF SOVIET SYMPATHIES.

[Dustan Hache]

Promptly panic from hurting myself. shoot at stuff randomly till I run out of ammo. Pray to god that I kill the bear.

[crazyabe]

Explode into my real body, that fat kid was just a Host, I am a Zerg Drone, For the Swarm!

[AoshimaMichio]

GET DA BOYZ TO COME TO ME POSITION NAOW!

[6] DA BOYZ COME WITH THEIR NEW WARBOSS! HE'S BIGGER THAN YOU!
ROUND 1!
FIGHT!

YES. I FINALLY CAN COUNTER THE SOVIET METEOR. BLACKLIST HIM AND ACCUSE HIM OF SOVIET SYMPATHIES.

[1] You blacklist yourself. You can't accuse him of anything because you are brainless zombie.

Promptly panic from hurting myself. shoot at stuff randomly till I run out of ammo. Pray to god that I kill the bear.

[5] You are very much panicked now! [1-1] You shoot your other leg! [2-1] The severed leg flies off in an arc!
[1] The bear trips over and [2] knocks himself out!

Explode into my real body, that fat kid was just a Host, I am a Zerg Drone, For the Swarm!

Nah, if RNG says you are a fat kid, then you are a fat kid. You need something more than good roll to transform yourself. Actually let's make that official rule. Performing supernatural feats are significantly harder even if you roll 5. Find something to boost yourself. Like brain points.
"So hungry, so hungry. I'm in a hurry to put something in my tummy."

Gather courage to attack the zombie!

[2-1] Nope, you lot run away from the scary zombie.

Spoiler: Player states (click to show/hide)

Kevak
  Brain points: 1
  Is a 10 points performer
    1 Bonesaw
   
AkumaKasai
  Brain points: 0
  Big brained human
  Has plenty of dirt under his skin. -1 for anything using hands.
  Sprained ankle. -1 for moving.
   
DoctorMcTaalik
  Brain points: 1
  Is a goat with patchy fur.
  Has lost a horn.
  Has additional three thick insect like legs.
  Infected with Hyper-evolutionary virus.
 
Dustan Hache
  Brain points: 0
  Is X-COM agent
  Has silver tongue: +1 for talking
  Is very much lost. Facing a bear.
  Has big gaping tear on his cheeck exposing his teeths.
  Has lost his artificial kneecap. -1 for running.
  Has lost his other leg. Another -1 for anything to do with legs.
  Is in panic. -1 for all rolls.
    1 pistol

SaberToothTiger
  Brain points: 1
  Is anti-communist.
  Is brainless zombie.
  Is blacklisted.

poketwo
  Brain points: 0
  Is Ork Warboss.
  Is fighting for his position.

crazyabe
  Brain points: 0
  Is a fat kid.

Spoiler: Town state (click to show/hide)

Camp:
  Kevak
  AkumaKasai
  SaberToothTiger
  crazyabe
 
Wonton Shop:
  7/10 tied up bikers.
  guard
    1 Fork of Truth (+1 for attacking)
  chef
  kitchen assistant
   
Day care and morgue:
  DoctorMcTaalik
 
Somewhere in forest:
  Dustan Hache
  poketwo
  Ork warband and warboss. 
  10 rednecks hunting zombies and aliens. Armed with various farming implements.
    Really tired. -1 for everything until rested.
    1 shotgun
 
People alive: 994/1000

Mr. Evil Meteor:
  IS HUNGRY!
  HP: 400/400

[SaberToothTiger]

FUCKING METOER I AM KKIEL MITYOR MAN
I CHARGE THE FUCKING EVIL METEOR AND WHACK HIM  OVER THE HEAD WITH A STICK UNTIL HE DIES[/i].

[Dustan Hache]

now that I have vented my panic by shooting myself again, grab my severed leg and crawl to civilization. Also, remember to heal myself when I get a medkit. My cheek and legs sting like hell..

[poketwo]

DISPLAY MY KUNNIN' WITH A CLEVAR DISTRACTION AT THE OPOSITION, THEN USING ME BOLTA(Bolter)-SHOOTA TO KILL HIM WHEN HE'S NOT PAYIN' ANTENSION!

[crazyabe]

Pull a Machete out of my Ass and Run around Looking for people to Kill!
((What? I see no Roll under my thing...))

[AoshimaMichio]

FUCKING METOER I AM KKIEL MITYOR MAN
I CHARGE THE FUCKING EVIL METEOR AND WHACK HIM  OVER THE HEAD WITH A STICK UNTIL HE DIES.

[3] Your aim is off so your zombie strength is largely wasted. [5] You wouldn't hit him anyways as he moves just slightly to avoid your flailing fist. [3+1] His fist comes fast towards your chest [5], but you dodge it with equal finesse as Mr. Evil Meteor did.

"I do this all because I'm evil. And I do it all for free, your tears are all the pay I'll ever need."

now that I have vented my panic by shooting myself again, grab my severed leg and crawl to civilization. Also, remember to heal myself when I get a medkit. My cheek and legs sting like hell..

[3-1] Nah, panic is still here.
Civilization you say? Wonder what way you gotta go to find any... [5-2] Hmm, probably that direction? It's good as any. [5-2] Missing one leg and having remaining one bending both ways makes it hard to travel in forest, especially when you are in panic. Eventually you see light reflecting from clouds on your left.

DISPLAY MY KUNNIN' WITH A CLEVAR DISTRACTION AT THE OPOSITION, THEN USING ME BOLTA(Bolter)-SHOOTA TO KILL HIM WHEN HE'S NOT PAYIN' ANTENSION!

[1] You miss him and instead shoot one of yer boyz behind him. [6] The boy takes the bullet directly into his chest and shrugs it off further proving your weakness.
[5] While you are not paying attention the upstart warboss shoots you. [6] Both of your shootas are weak and useless.

Round two!

Pull a Machete out of my Ass and Run around Looking for people to Kill!
((What? I see no Roll under my thing...))

I was talking about the respawn roll.
[2] Storing a machete in your intestine track is very poor idea. Extracting one hidden in such manner may cause all kinds of unpleasant rectal bleeding and blood poisoning. So you are the smart one and do not hide anything in your orifices.

Spoiler: Player states (click to show/hide)

Kevak
  Brain points: 1
  Is a 10 points performer
    1 Bonesaw
   
AkumaKasai
  Brain points: 0
  Big brained human
  Has plenty of dirt under his skin. -1 for anything using hands.
  Sprained ankle. -1 for moving.
   
DoctorMcTaalik
  Brain points: 1
  Is a goat with patchy fur.
  Has lost a horn.
  Has additional three thick insect like legs.
  Infected with Hyper-evolutionary virus.
 
Dustan Hache
  Brain points: 0
  Is X-COM agent
  Has silver tongue: +1 for talking
  Is quite lost.
  Has big gaping tear on his cheeck exposing his teeths.
  Has lost his artificial kneecap. -1 for running.
  Has lost his other leg. Another -1 for anything to do with legs.
  Is in panic. -1 for all rolls.
    1 pistol

SaberToothTiger
  Brain points: 1
  Is anti-communist.
  Is brainless zombie.
  Is blacklisted.

poketwo
  Brain points: 0
  Is Ork Warboss.
  Is fighting for his position.

crazyabe
  Brain points: 0
  Is a fat kid.

Spoiler: Town state (click to show/hide)

Camp:
  Kevak
  AkumaKasai
  SaberToothTiger
  crazyabe
 
Wonton Shop:
  chef
  kitchen assistant
   
Day care and morgue:
  DoctorMcTaalik
 
In streets:
  7/10 tied up bikers.
  guard
    1 Fork of Truth (+1 for attacking)
 
Somewhere in forest:
  Dustan Hache
  poketwo
  Ork warband and warboss.
 
People alive: 994/1000

Mr. Evil Meteor:
  IS HUNGRY!
  HP: 400/400

[crazyabe]

//Give_player:Crazyabe:Item=Fat_Man

[SaberToothTiger]

It sings it's commie songs, kill it!
Whack meteor man in his lonely, smile wanting, deceitful face.

[Dustan Hache]

I said that I was done panicing. I did not say I was finished bleeding out. Continue crawling, like the dedicated trooper I am. I'll walk out of here with a defender of earth medal and MEC legs. AFTER I GET TO A DAMN PHONE!

[poketwo]

USE ME SEKRET WEIRBOY POWERS TO ENHANCE ME STREAGHT
THEN PUNCH DA BIGGA GUY IN DA HEAD!

[AoshimaMichio]

//Give_player:Crazyabe:Item=Fat_Man

[2] What is this sudden programming thing? I don't recognize this programming/scripting language. It doesn't do anything either way.

It sings it's commie songs, kill it!
Whack meteor man in his lonely, smile wanting, deceitful face.

[6] Mighty blow released with collision course of Mr. Evil Meteor's deceitful face. [1] He responds with moving his face in optimal position for your fist to deal maximum damage. You deal 77 points damage and cause series of cracks spreading accross his face! You also break your knuckles.

I said that I was done panicing. I did not say I was finished bleeding out. Continue crawling, like the dedicated trooper I am. I'll walk out of here with a defender of earth medal and MEC legs. AFTER I GET TO A DAMN PHONE!

You might have said so, but RNG didn't. [5-1] Well now you are done with panicking.
[6-1] Your muscles remember perfectly the countless grueling hours crawling around in mud while you were still mere rookie and work perfectly to get you towards civilization. Well, actually you found the camp where the alien, zombie and kids are. Now that you are here you can make your way to the city and make fun calls.
Although if you want that medal you better come up with good story what happened to your legs. Because shooting yourself ain't gonna get you any medals other than a Darwin Award and military discharge.

USE ME SEKRET WEIRBOY POWERS TO ENHANCE ME STREAGHT
THEN PUNCH DA BIGGA GUY IN DA HEAD!

[4] "WAAAGH!" [4+1] You throw perfectly aimed punch [2] which da bigga guy fails to dodge! [5] All he gets is broken nose, though. Now it is his turn! [2] But his punch is so sloppy that you don't even have to dodge!

Round three!

Spoiler: Player states (click to show/hide)

Kevak
  Brain points: 1
  Is a 10 points performer
    1 Bonesaw
   
AkumaKasai
  Brain points: 0
  Big brained human
  Has plenty of dirt under his skin. -1 for anything using hands.
  Sprained ankle. -1 for moving.
   
DoctorMcTaalik
  Brain points: 1
  Is a goat with patchy fur.
  Has lost a horn.
  Has additional three thick insect like legs.
  Infected with Hyper-evolutionary virus.
 
Dustan Hache
  Brain points: 0
  Is X-COM agent
  Has silver tongue: +1 for talking
  Is quite lost.
  Has big gaping tear on his cheeck exposing his teeths.
  Has lost his artificial kneecap. -1 for running.
  Has lost his other leg. Another -1 for anything to do with legs.
    1 pistol

SaberToothTiger
  Brain points: 1
  Is anti-communist.
  Is brainless zombie.
  Is blacklisted.
  Broken knuckles on on arm.

poketwo
  Brain points: 0
  Is Ork Warboss and Weirdboy
  Is fighting for his position.
  WAAAAGH! +1 for combat rolls

crazyabe
  Brain points: 0
  Is a fat kid.

Spoiler: Town state (click to show/hide)

Camp:
  Kevak
  AkumaKasai
  SaberToothTiger
  crazyabe
  Dustan Hache
 
Wonton Shop:
  chef
  kitchen assistant
   
Day care and morgue:
  DoctorMcTaalik
 
In streets:
  7/10 loosely tied up bikers.
  guard
    1 Fork of Truth (+1 for attacking)
 
Somewhere in forest:
  poketwo
  Ork warband and warboss.
 
People alive: 994/1000

Mr. Evil Meteor:
  IS HUNGRY!
  Face cracked.
  HP: 327/400

[DoctorMcTaalik]

Pick lock with tongue. Find the brains.