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Author Topic: Not-Terrible Jokes Thread!  (Read 8717 times)

werty892

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Re: Not-Terrible Jokes Thread!
« Reply #15 on: December 27, 2015, 03:13:05 pm »

So a horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse says "My wife just died from cancer."

HA
JOKES GUYS

TheBiggerFish

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Re: Not-Terrible Jokes Thread!
« Reply #16 on: December 27, 2015, 03:14:43 pm »

THAT'S IT!  I'M CALLING THE FUNNY POLICE!


*and werty892 was never heard from again until he thought of something that wasn't terrible*
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It has been determined that Trump is an average unladen swallow travelling northbound at his maximum sustainable speed of -3 Obama-cubits per second in the middle of a class 3 hurricane.

Kot

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Re: Not-Terrible Jokes Thread!
« Reply #17 on: December 27, 2015, 03:24:47 pm »

You're terrible and you don't belong in this thread. Go away.
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Kot finishes his morning routine in the same way he always does, by burning a scale replica of Saint Basil's Cathedral on the windowsill.

My Name is Immaterial

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Re: Not-Terrible Jokes Thread!
« Reply #18 on: December 27, 2015, 03:32:27 pm »

Ayy lmao, telling the thread creator that he doesn't belong in his own thread, that's a good one. You can stay.

TheBiggerFish

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Re: Not-Terrible Jokes Thread!
« Reply #19 on: December 27, 2015, 03:45:46 pm »

You're terrible and you don't belong in this thread. Go away.
I deem this actually funny and applaud.
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It has been determined that Trump is an average unladen swallow travelling northbound at his maximum sustainable speed of -3 Obama-cubits per second in the middle of a class 3 hurricane.

Sheb

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Re: Not-Terrible Jokes Thread!
« Reply #20 on: December 27, 2015, 03:46:46 pm »

So the president of France get a call.

"Hey, it's Bob from Luxemburg. Me and my fives pals decided to invade if you don't give us Alsace."
"What? We are le France. We have 300000 men under arms, you can't invade!"
"Wait, I need to talk with my pals, I'll be back."

Five minutes later, Hollande's phone rings again.
"Ok, John and his brother joined us, that makes eight of us, and we fitted a shotgun to John's BMW so we have armor. Are you surrendering or what?"
"What? We are le France, we have a thousand tanks, and since our last call I called in the reserve and I now have 600000 men under arms!"
"Oh, I need to talk to my pals, I'll be back"

...

"Ok, my brother-in-law joined us. He got a small plane, and we fitted two hunting rifles to it, so we have an air force. Surrender or we'll attack!"
"What? We are le France! We have 500 helicopters and a thousand jets! I've restarted the draft, and I've got 1200000 mens under arms!"
"Oh, wait, I need to talk to my pals, I'll be back".

...

"Well, we decided to call the invasion off."
"Good to see you get some sense!"
"There is no way we can feed that many POW."
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Quote from: Paul-Henry Spaak
Europe consists only of small countries, some of which know it and some of which donít yet.

origamiscienceguy

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Re: Not-Terrible Jokes Thread!
« Reply #21 on: December 27, 2015, 04:08:40 pm »

Why doesn't Hungary take Turkey?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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"'...It represents the world. They [the dwarves] plan to destroy it.' 'WITH SOAP?!'" -legend of zoro (with some strange interperetation)

Helgoland

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Re: Not-Terrible Jokes Thread!
« Reply #22 on: December 27, 2015, 04:56:22 pm »

The Keystone Kops? Man, those are useful for altar-camping and mass-sacrifice - I'll have to see whether I can break into the local church before they reach me.
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Arguably he's already a progressive, just one in the style of an enlightened Kaiser.
I'm going to do the smart thing here and disengage. This isn't a hill I paticularly care to die on.

Sheb

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Re: Not-Terrible Jokes Thread!
« Reply #23 on: December 27, 2015, 05:02:36 pm »

I get the DFHack reference, but who are you responding to?
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Quote from: Paul-Henry Spaak
Europe consists only of small countries, some of which know it and some of which donít yet.

Helgoland

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Re: Not-Terrible Jokes Thread!
« Reply #24 on: December 27, 2015, 06:24:03 pm »

Fuck, I thought this was still the first page:
Don't make me call the funny police.
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The Bay12 postcard club
Arguably he's already a progressive, just one in the style of an enlightened Kaiser.
I'm going to do the smart thing here and disengage. This isn't a hill I paticularly care to die on.

Orange Wizard

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Re: Not-Terrible Jokes Thread!
« Reply #25 on: December 27, 2015, 06:41:57 pm »

quality thread
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Please don't shitpost, it lowers the quality of discourse
Hard science is like a sword, and soft science is like fear. You can use both to equally powerful results, but even if your opponent disbelieve your stabs, they will still die.

Kot

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Re: Not-Terrible Jokes Thread!
« Reply #26 on: December 27, 2015, 06:49:29 pm »

Quality posters.
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Kot finishes his morning routine in the same way he always does, by burning a scale replica of Saint Basil's Cathedral on the windowsill.

TheBiggerFish

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Re: Not-Terrible Jokes Thread!
« Reply #27 on: December 27, 2015, 07:19:56 pm »

Fuck, I thought this was still the first page:
Don't make me call the funny police.
Well, I didn't get it either...
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It has been determined that Trump is an average unladen swallow travelling northbound at his maximum sustainable speed of -3 Obama-cubits per second in the middle of a class 3 hurricane.

TheDarkStar

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Re: Not-Terrible Jokes Thread!
« Reply #28 on: December 27, 2015, 07:37:50 pm »

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Don't die; it's bad for your health!

it happened it happened it happen im so hyped to actually get attacked now

Egan_BW

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Re: Not-Terrible Jokes Thread!
« Reply #29 on: December 27, 2015, 07:48:31 pm »

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In this game there are many strategies to be used, but none of them matter for victory does not exist.
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