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Author Topic: The friendly and polite Europe related terrible jokes thread  (Read 987505 times)

smjjames

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #10005 on: May 25, 2019, 08:59:04 pm »

Demographics of the people electing the next PM.

Huh, UKIP is to the left of conservatives, I could have sworn that they were to the right of the conservatives.
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Loud Whispers

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #10006 on: May 26, 2019, 11:14:50 am »

Huh, UKIP is to the left of conservatives, I could have sworn that they were to the right of the conservatives.
It's measuring how party members of those parties self-describe themselves on a scale of 1-10. 2017 UKIP voters being an amalgamation of left and right-wing voters likely lowers their mean average compared to the Conservative party, which is largely split between the Conservatives and the Neoliberals, both of which are right wing factions

*EDIT
Quote
In short, the grassroots aren't simply sceptical on Europe; they can't wait to leave, whatever that might take.

This, then, is the Conservative Party electorate.
ayyy lmao let's go

da_nang

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #10007 on: May 26, 2019, 02:17:43 pm »

European parliamentary elections, yay!

Finnish Pirate Party gets about 0.7% from 85% counted votes. No seats out of thirteen. Guess I'm part of the unelected 0.7 percenters. Finland uses d'Hondt, so you practically need ~4.8% to even stand a chance against the 8 mainstream parties. I wrote a little approximate program in GAMS to find that out. Swedish People's Party retains their seat. Better than nothing, I guess.

Still waiting to hear from Sweden.

German Pirate Party gets about 0.8% and keeps their seat. Not sure how many votes have been counted. Status quo, woohoo. Disappointing, really.

Czech Republic sees a surge of Pirates, 15.38% and gets four seats. Second biggest party in the country! Some good news, at least.
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Ceterum censeo Unionem Europaeam esse delendam.
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Trolldefender99

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #10008 on: May 26, 2019, 02:34:53 pm »

Being in NA/US and not knowing who the parties are anywhere else in the world...

What is the pirate party? And how is things looking overall for the democratic/left parties? I imagine it may still be too early to know, but is it looking good early on?
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smjjames

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #10009 on: May 26, 2019, 02:43:45 pm »

In general, they are parties based around freedom of data on the internet pretty much, copyright and patent reform is also a major part of the idea behind them.
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Kagus

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #10010 on: May 26, 2019, 02:45:58 pm »

What is the pirate party?
As opposed to mainstream politicians like:
Quote
Rep. Shannon McCoy (R)

You get experts on current events, like:
Quote
Rep. Bellow-Faced Jim (Arrrh)

ChairmanPoo

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #10011 on: May 26, 2019, 03:45:39 pm »



What is the pirate party?
They advocate pillage and plunder, mostly. Also establishing a constitution based in the Pirate Code as formulated by Captain Bartholomew Roberts
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Grim Portent

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #10012 on: May 26, 2019, 05:12:42 pm »

So basically a party that satirises the system to draw attention to their political points?
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ChairmanPoo

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #10013 on: May 26, 2019, 05:21:25 pm »

No. I made that shit up.
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Grim Portent

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #10014 on: May 26, 2019, 07:53:33 pm »

Fair enough. Assumed they might be something along the Monster Raving Loony Party kind of lines.
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There once was a dwarf in a cave,
who many would consider brave.
With a head like a block
he went out for a sock,
his ass I won't bother to save.

da_nang

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #10015 on: May 27, 2019, 07:23:58 am »

No Pirates from Sweden. Disappointing.  :-\

Guess I have to turn to the Czechs the next five years.
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scriver

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #10016 on: May 27, 2019, 07:54:50 am »

And how is things looking overall for the democratic/left parties?

As I heard it summed up in the news, not having looked much beyond that myself: Left wing takes a huge hit and goes back all over Europe. Big winners are nationalist and greens.

In Sweden the left wing stood mostly still, a few percentages up and down but no change in mandates.. The nationalistic Sweden Democrats gained the most percentage-wise but only one mandage, and the traditional right wing parties shuffled their percentages around a little, gaining one mandate each except for (Folkpartiet) Liberalerna (In English: (the People's Party) the Liberals - they recently shortened their name to just the latter and made their symbol a huge dick), nearly got bumped out. Theirs was probably the biggest loss in relation to how established they are, but they only lost one mandate. All in all the traditional right wing gained (+3-1=) +2 mandates.

Other big Swedish losers where Miljöpartiet (The Environment Party), who pathetically tried to pass their 4% fall off as a win because it wasn't as big of a defeat as pre-election surveys showed they might face (and while 4% might not sound like much, it effectively means 50% of their mandates), and Feministisk Initiativ (Feministic Iniative) who lost nearly all their percentages, taking them down from 5% to 0.8 and bumping them out of the readings.
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Digital Hellhound

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #10017 on: May 27, 2019, 08:36:26 am »

The Greens probably had the biggest win in Finland. I judge this based on the overwhelming euphoria of a dozen Green representatives and MEPs who ended up celebrating literally right in front of me in the middle of a ten-thousand people crowd in central Helsinki last night. We kinda won a historic ice hockey world championship, so one of them kept screaming 'DOUBLE VICTORY' in my face. Bold new political strategy, but it gets my vote. They did block my view of people rowing an inflatable boat in a fountain while half-naked at +7 degrees, but I'll give them that.
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Kagus

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #10018 on: May 27, 2019, 08:55:04 am »

So, Norway supplies housing support payments on a month-by-month appeal basis for households that can't manage to make ends meet that month.

Several thousand Somali immigrants in the capital rely on housing support payments in order to cover their rent expenses.


Norway's far-right Progressive party (...) proposes that there's an opportunity here to tighten the public belt, so to speak, on the large amount of money being spent on such payments. Clearly what we need to do is cut housing support for Muslims; because Muslims have religious objections to taking out loans that accrue interest, and if they'd just get some loans then they could buy their own property instead of having to rent and therefore have... lower monthly costs and... not be reliant on housing support payments?

I don't really know how to explain the situation in a clearer fashion, because honestly I'm still trying to figure out what the actual fuck. This is some very advanced logic.
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