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Author Topic: The friendly and polite Europe related terrible jokes thread  (Read 990407 times)

hector13

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #10170 on: July 23, 2019, 03:38:51 pm »

Donald Trump likes Alex Salmond when he made it so he could build his golf course and ruin the sand.

Donald Trump thought Alex Salmond was a cunt when he wouldn’t not build his sea windmills in front of Donald Trump’s boring sand and golf course.
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Look, we need to raise a psychopath who will murder God, we have no time to be spending on cooking.

the way your fingertips plant meaningless soliloquies makes me think you are the true evil among us.

Grim Portent

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #10171 on: July 23, 2019, 03:42:11 pm »

You people act as though trump liking you is a compliment to your character or you in any way....

Personally I consider being anything more than coldly polite to him a sign of poor character, but Dw4rfy and I come at things from ideologically opposed perspectives.

Donald Trump likes Alex Salmond when he made it so he could build his golf course and ruin the sand.

Donald Trump thought Alex Salmond was a cunt when he wouldn’t not build his sea windmills in front of Donald Trump’s boring sand and golf course.

I really wish we had a good way to penalise corporations who keep wasting court and government time on failed appeals motivated by profit. Took stupidly long to get those windmills done.
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There once was a dwarf in a cave,
who many would consider brave.
With a head like a block
he went out for a sock,
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smjjames

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #10172 on: July 23, 2019, 03:42:38 pm »

It's more about the benefits now since the political and social benefits will look different under Charles or William. Which is what I was getting at about it being hard to discuss getting rid of a monarch that is widely revered, has had a long reign, and is nearing the end of that reign. Nobody really has the desire to make her suffer such an indignity as being forced to step down and end the monarchy.

As I said, her grandchildren are looking to redefine the monarchy in the 21st century, so, the conversation could very well be dynamic. Also, while Charles and William would still be bound by the legal requirements to not rock the political boat, I can't see William (no idea about Charles though) being as politically in the background like Queen Elizabeth.

Donald Trump likes Alex Salmond when he made it so he could build his golf course and ruin the sand.

Donald Trump thought Alex Salmond was a cunt when he wouldn’t not build his sea windmills in front of Donald Trump’s boring sand and golf course.

Exactly, Trump only likes you so long as you don't criticise him or disagree with him in a way that offends his ego.
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scourge728

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #10173 on: July 23, 2019, 03:43:44 pm »

And literally any disagreement or criticism is a personal insult to him

TD1

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #10174 on: July 23, 2019, 04:32:41 pm »

Personally I consider being anything more than coldly polite to him a sign of poor character, but Dw4rfy and I come at things from ideologically opposed perspectives.
Nah, it's like watching your own ideals be somewhat twisted by a rude, temperamental jackanapes. I think coldly polite is about all I could muster.

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MorleyDev

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #10175 on: July 23, 2019, 04:40:59 pm »

The political uses of the Crown are one of those things I place in the 'you can go back and forth on' category, whether they could be better fulfilled by an appointed official not 'legally-regarded-as-divinely-appointed-by-a-god-the-majority-of-the-population-don't-believe-in' or not.

I don't see how claiming it a part of "British Identity" is anything but an alternative phrasing of "it's traditional". Pretty sure sarcasm is more a part of British Identity to me than some random rich family appointed solely by virtue of being squirted out by the right person.

I'm British because I live here and think of here as an extension of home. To me, that's all there really needs to be to British Identity. Everything else is and should be emergent and mutable.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying we should break down the doors right now. I don't have a hatred for the Queen as the person or anything like that. Kinda like her from what I've seen, to be honest. And abolishing the crown is not exactly high on my priorities. It's just if the question were posed to me in regards to the concept itself, should we abolish the crown: yes or no, then I'd vote yes.

This is why I say I'm probably what you'd call a British Republican. My political theory is one that thinks of the Crown as unneeded and better off done away with, but I've not got any real zeal about it :P
« Last Edit: July 23, 2019, 05:08:20 pm by MorleyDev »
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Grim Portent

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #10176 on: July 23, 2019, 05:24:41 pm »

My personal ideal head of state would be one that only exists during periods of large scale social movements to serve as a representative of the social and cultural shifts in the nation. Primarily ceremonial, maybe able to rush legislation through slightly faster, but only able to be elected by a 50% vote of the electorate, abstentions being counted as votes against. If you can't get half the people in a nation to support a political identity, then you don't really have a better representative of the nation than it's parliament.

But I'm also in favour of counting abstentions in elections anyway and a two house system consisting of a direct proportional house and a MMP house with mirrored responsibilities, so it's a pretty far cry from most existing systems.
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There once was a dwarf in a cave,
who many would consider brave.
With a head like a block
he went out for a sock,
his ass I won't bother to save.

TD1

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #10177 on: July 23, 2019, 06:27:49 pm »

I don't see how claiming it a part of "British Identity" is anything but an alternative phrasing of "it's traditional". Pretty sure sarcasm is more a part of British Identity to me than some random rich family appointed solely by virtue of being squirted out by the right person.

I'm British because I live here and think of here as an extension of home. To me, that's all there really needs to be to British Identity. Everything else is and should be emergent and mutable.

There's more to an identity than place, and despite your reductionism I suspect you know that. 'British' is more than 'I live here.'
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hector13

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #10178 on: July 23, 2019, 07:07:28 pm »

I don't see how claiming it a part of "British Identity" is anything but an alternative phrasing of "it's traditional". Pretty sure sarcasm is more a part of British Identity to me than some random rich family appointed solely by virtue of being squirted out by the right person.

I'm British because I live here and think of here as an extension of home. To me, that's all there really needs to be to British Identity. Everything else is and should be emergent and mutable.

There's more to an identity than place, and despite your reductionism I suspect you know that. 'British' is more than 'I live here.'

What does being British mean to you?
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Look, we need to raise a psychopath who will murder God, we have no time to be spending on cooking.

the way your fingertips plant meaningless soliloquies makes me think you are the true evil among us.

MorleyDev

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #10179 on: July 23, 2019, 07:28:19 pm »

Not even "I live here" really, far more meaningful is "I consider it home". Important distinction. I'm using home in the sense that one would use "I'm going home" vs "I'm going back to the flat" when they first move out of their parents. Was it not a moment, the first time you said out loud, without thinking about it, "I'm going home" to refer to the building you lived in at the moment instead of the building where you grew up? That is what I meant by home.

And no, I really don't know what else there is than that to being British in identity? Anything else you can list could easily not be there and they'd still be British in identity so long as "Britain" is emotionally home.

(Obviously a legally useless concept, totally distinct from your legal nationality and the responsibilities of a state towards you granted by that).
« Last Edit: July 24, 2019, 07:33:02 am by MorleyDev »
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ChairmanPoo

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #10180 on: July 23, 2019, 08:17:18 pm »

Hey I have an idea. Why don't you make *me* the symbol of your britishness? I'm willing to do it for half as much money as those chumps and I will throw in free medical advice for the masses
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Loud Whispers

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #10181 on: July 26, 2019, 01:17:00 am »

Not even "I live here" really, far more meaningful is "I consider it home". Important distinction. I'm using home in the sense that one would use "I'm going home" vs "I'm going back to the flat" when they first move out of their parents. Was it not a moment, the first time you said out loud, without thinking about it, "I'm going home" to refer to the building you lived in at the moment instead of the building where you grew up? That is what I meant by home.
I never had that moment, because I'm always thinking about it. Very difficult not to think about where home is when you stick outside of every ethnic community in every possible candidate for your hometown. It's some serious liminal problems

And no, I really don't know what else there is than that to being British in identity? Anything else you can list could easily not be there and they'd still be British in identity so long as "Britain" is emotionally home.
Far too shallow & far too simple a definition. A Briton does not stop being a Briton just because they've made their home abroad, a foreigner does not always become British or even partially British even if it's their home. Becoming British is bloody difficult, or perhaps more accurately, becoming fully British is bloody difficult. Sometimes even generations is not enough

i.e I would rather keep the United Kingdom together but honestly think having a royal family in this day and age is...just kinda daft, really :P Oh sure you can go back and forth on the economics of it one way or the other, but at the end of the day...ain't it just kinda daft? It's the future now, why do we have something as archaic as a monarchy?
Because it keeps the head of state & head of government separate. Ideally this means one branch in the hands of a Monarchy steeped in tradition & authority, the other steeped in the legitimacy of democratic government rule. This avoids the Republican problem where Presidents become awesome rulers in charge of state & government, or where every possible candidate for the head of state & head of government are selected by local plutocratic elites. It helps to keep people around who have no respect for new money

Then again I'm the opposite of a traditionalist in many ways and think if a tradition no longer serves a useful purpose it should be disposed of. So when the only major defence people fall back to is "But it's tradition" and "But wouldn't it be sad if we didn't have one", I just hear the equivalent of white noise xD Throw them out and leave them to only matter in anyway to the few who care. Just like we did with Hot Cross Buns.
I'm more of a conservative, in the sense that I find value in preserving the old simply because it's your inheritance. This value is not just personal, mind you. The French Revolutionaries abandoned their traditional institutions because they weren't "useful," while the British kept their inherited institutions intact. One abrogated their traditions entirely, the other allowed them to evolve with the generations. Both became democracies, but only one became a massive team killing fucktard nation of head loppers, larping about how free and liberal they were whilst they had an Emperor with a public security bureau mass-conscripting the male population to destroy the enemies of the state. Republican constitutional rights are just pieces of paper, while the actual guarantors of their rights are the conventions they form... Now if only there was some kind of constitutional government based on conventions... :P

It's like what Marx said, the desire to abandon everything which makes your people who they are in the rush to become the global, formless proletariat most easily exploited by the bourgeoisie, is the ideology set by the ruling elite in order to strip people from the communities they may use to organise and offer a viable destiny. Sell your civilisation, and for what?

(Explanation: May be just me, but it seems like nobody seems to bother with Hot Cross Buns on Good Friday anymore, except for the odd religious types for whom Good Friday is more than just another bank holiday).
I eat hot cross buns religiously, pun intended - I grew up eating them where they were very cheap and very delicious. I do not know the religious significance though, besides the obvious cross.

TD1

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #10182 on: July 26, 2019, 06:22:43 am »

Loud Whispers is my spirit animal.
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MorleyDev

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #10183 on: July 26, 2019, 06:51:35 am »

Who said you can only have one home? Just because your current house is your home doesn't mean the house you grew up in stops being your home after all. Just ask the Good Friday Agreement: Being British doesn't stop you also being Irish. Define British then. But if any part of the definition can be removed in a person without them stopping being British, then it isn't a part of the definition.

And who said we need to replace the Royal Family with a Presidency and explicitly written constitution? They don't *use* the power of veto anyway, and if they ever did they'd be chucked out, so why *give* a veto power to anyone when we already have the House of Lords fulfilling that purpose? A big problem America has with their presidency is they gave powers the royalty had already stopped using to a person in a position they actually let use them.

And the desire to artificially preserve 'traditions' and 'heritage' is also very easily exploited, I'd argue more easily and commonly exploited and to greater devastation than anything else in human history, and that this is something to beware of.

I'm not arguing to go around burning down all tradition for the sake of it, but that their comes a point where they should be allowed to adapt or die with grace. When you are explicitly trying to 'preserve' them or stop them from changing or dying then all you're really going to achieve is a bastardization of them that risks coming at the cost of harming others. It's cultural eugenics, with the things implied by the word eugenics being fully intended. Traditions die, it's a part of their nature as memes, and that is good. Trying to mandate or apply explicit and conscious pressure to prevent that death is a dangerous road to walk.

For me, the tradition of monarchy is at that point where I would happily let it die. For others, it may not be. I'm gonna explain my point of view freely on the topic, if others agree that's fine, but like I said I'm not exactly going far out of my way to push for it to happen :)
« Last Edit: July 26, 2019, 07:16:44 am by MorleyDev »
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Naturegirl1999

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #10184 on: July 26, 2019, 07:40:53 am »

A big problem America has with their presidency is they gave powers the royalty had already stopped using to a person in a position they actually let use them.
I didn’t know this about my country. I like hearing about what people outside America think about it.
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