Bay 12 Games Forum

Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Advanced search  
Pages: 1 ... 8 9 [10] 11 12 ... 699

Author Topic: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread  (Read 433237 times)

nullBolt

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #135 on: January 15, 2016, 04:58:39 pm »

*points at the historical context that the Onion article is in*

Do you really think silly alliance chains are more confusing and ridiculous than current global politics?

Loud Whispers

  • Bay Watcher
  • They said we have to aim higher, so we dug deeper.
    • View Profile
    • I APPLAUD YOU SIRRAH
Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #136 on: January 15, 2016, 05:17:34 pm »

We already talked about this not long ago. People who claim to be asylum seekers must be legally treated as asylum seekers until proven otherwise. You cannot turn them away at gunpoint without saying "nuts" to the the UN and the rule of law and all that jazz. Your beef is not only with Merkel and the EU, but with also the UN and the rest of the world.
Correction: A rule for Swedes

Why should we care for the opinion of people with no future?

Seriously, is this actually how Merkeleli et al run their asylum seeking program? I thought the stories of immigrants tearing up their papers in front of police were a bit much.
Now if you leave safe countries to travel to rich countries, you are not an asylum seeker. If you avoid the authorities and do not turn yourself into a refugee centre you are not an asylum seeker. If you do not turn yourself in as soon as you believe you are in danger you are not an asylum seeker. If you do so you will have to provide documentation so it is known who you are, where you actually come from, whether you are a wanted criminal or have links to terrorist groups, and you will have to explain why you believe your life is in danger and provide any evidence you have that your life will be in danger if you are deported. If your application is successful you become a refugee, given a 5 year stay. If your situation has not improved by the end of that term, you can apply to stay indefinitely.

If you deliberately try to circumvent the system you are not an asylum seeker and asylum seekers are not interchangeable with refugee. You cannot expect to have all the rights of a citizen and none of the obligations just because you say so. In this country, there are abuses yeah, one of my friends went to school with an Afghan man in his forties who was legally an adolescent because they'd deport him otherwise, and my bank clerk's friends with a Nigerian who is clearly not in his twenties; but there is a clear system that makes it bleedingly obvious who's trying to pull a fast one and who's a refugee. Sweden, Germany; these are countries that are not going to be countries for long, a transformation is inevitable with such a wonderful system in place. Just because.
 
Quote
The fundamental right of asylum thus has high priority and expresses Germany’s willingness to fulfil its historical and humanitarian obligation to admit refugees.
Lol that nazi guilt
Quote
The admission procedure for asylum seekers is governed by the Asylum Procedure Act (AsylVfG). Asylum seekers whom border authorities permit to enter the Federal Republic of Germany or who are found in the country without a residence permit are transferred to the nearest reception centre of the relevant state.
Hahaha oh my God they really do just let anyone into their country! If the police don't find you, you're an "undocumented migrant", and when they do you become an asylum seeker automatically! It's impossible to be an illegal immigrant to Germany xD
Also makes sense since the immigrants tearing up their resident permits would force the police to legally send them to the nearest reception centre, or else face the wrath of Merkel. Germany can't even deport their rapists hahahaha
Quote
If the asylum application is accepted, persons granted asylum status and those granted refugee status receive a temporary residence permit and are given the same status as Germans within the social insurance system. They are entitled to social welfare, child benefits, child-raising benefits, integration allowances and language courses as well as other forms of integration assistance.
All the rights, none of the obligations LOL it's the free citizen of the land principle in action
Quote
As a rule, asylum seekers whose applications have been rejected are required to leave the country.
I'm sure the Germans take this rule very seriously, they deported a whole 11,000 illegal immigrants in one year versus 1,500,000 arriving that same year alone

The UN put Saudi Arabia at the head of the human rights council. Fuck them.
Makes as much sense as putting Stalin in charge of human resources

Though the League failed because it had no enforcement mandate (much like the current UN, sadly). Amusing how UN detractors always talk about how ineffective it is, and simultaneously about how it has too much power. Kind of like Tea Partiers bitching about the government.
Those two statements are not conflicting, any less so with governments. Consider the US police having far too much power, but also being quite ineffectual when it comes to stopping crime. I had the pleasure of meeting a former big cheese of the UN's health department and he left because they weren't really worth his time as soon as he could jump boats for the World Health Organization. Interesting thing was, although he criticized it for being useless, inefficient and slow (5% of funding reaching its target was a success according to him), he also said its work was vital and indispensable. Also like the government or the police for that matter.

*EDIT
FIXED CITATIONS QUOTATIONS NOTATIONS ILLUMINA(ti)ONS
« Last Edit: January 15, 2016, 05:21:56 pm by Loud Whispers »
Logged

Loud Whispers

  • Bay Watcher
  • They said we have to aim higher, so we dug deeper.
    • View Profile
    • I APPLAUD YOU SIRRAH
Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #137 on: January 15, 2016, 05:36:57 pm »

Based Saudis never sign any liberal UN shit treaties like we yuros do. /s
Saying silly stuff like this earns a Saudi Salman slap
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

scrdest

  • Bay Watcher
  • Girlcat?/o_ o
    • View Profile
Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #138 on: January 15, 2016, 06:55:25 pm »

Makes as much sense as putting Stalin in charge of human resources
Hey, nobody ever complained about the state of things under Stalin.

At least, out loud.

Well, not *twice*.
Logged
We are doomed. It's just that whatever is going to kill us all just happens to be, from a scientific standpoint, pretty frickin' awesome.

SirQuiamus

  • Bay Watcher
  • Keine Experimente!
    • View Profile
Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #139 on: January 16, 2016, 06:37:24 am »

If you do not turn yourself in as soon as you believe you are in danger you are not an asylum seeker. If you do so you will have to provide documentation so it is known who you are, where you actually come from, whether you are a wanted criminal or have links to terrorist groups, and you will have to explain why you believe your life is in danger and provide any evidence you have that your life will be in danger if you are deported.
I'll just quote meself, for what it's worth:
Quote from: Me
(Also, passports and similar documents are not reliable signs of a bona fide refugee, because such things are often: (a) forged, (b) stolen, (c) sent in the mail to prevent them from being stolen, (d) stolen from the mail, and (e) all of the above plus a few laps 'round the globe in some druglord's pocket. What's more, denying someone asylum for not having the appropriate documents sounds kinda skeevy from the perspective of non-refoulement... I don't know. :/)
I've heard of a few cases where: (a) clueless people without a piece of paper on them have turned out to be genuine refugees after an arduous process of face-to-face interviews and phonecalls to foreign officials and NGOs; and (b) handsome and well-adjusted lads with tip-top paperwork and plausible stories have turned out to be ISIS cut-throats with literal blood on their hands and teeth and wherever. These kinds people crop up all the time, but ideal cases where the process can be followed through and through represent maybe 1/1000 of all asylum applications in continental Europe, because, well, the authorities have maybe a 1/1000th of the resources they'd actually need to keep the situation under control (numbers are straight from the fundament; nothing is reliable source). Of course one can always "solve" the situation by flushing due process and rule of law down the shitter, but once the laws are gone, they are gone for good, and for everyone, including you and me. Ask Salman if you don't believe me.

Based Saudis never sign any liberal UN shit treaties like we yuros do. /s
Saying silly stuff like this earns a Saudi Salman slap
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Logged

smjjames

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #140 on: January 16, 2016, 09:20:33 am »

Interesting article which is from an American perspective: http://www.wsj.com/articles/europes-new-medieval-map-1452875514

I don't see Germany shattering into it's consistuent HRE states anytime soon though.
« Last Edit: January 16, 2016, 09:22:59 am by smjjames »
Logged

martinuzz

  • Bay Watcher
  • High dwarf
    • View Profile
Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #141 on: January 16, 2016, 09:40:54 am »

But wait, if we're going back in time, does that mean we get our colonies back too?
Logged
Optimists have just used up the last bit of hope. Run for your lives!

Enjoy the freedom to explore the limits of your constraints

http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=73719.msg1830479#msg1830479

Sheb

  • Bay Watcher
  • You Are An Avatar
    • View Profile
Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #142 on: January 16, 2016, 10:07:52 am »

Interesting article which is from an American perspective: http://www.wsj.com/articles/europes-new-medieval-map-1452875514

I don't see Germany shattering into it's consistuent HRE states anytime soon though.

I don't see it.
Logged

Quote from: Paul-Henry Spaak
Europe consists only of small countries, some of which know it and some of which don’t yet.

Loud Whispers

  • Bay Watcher
  • They said we have to aim higher, so we dug deeper.
    • View Profile
    • I APPLAUD YOU SIRRAH
Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #143 on: January 16, 2016, 10:10:27 am »

But wait, if we're going back in time, does that mean we get our colonies back too?
No john, you was the colonies all along

smjjames

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #144 on: January 16, 2016, 11:32:14 am »

Interesting article which is from an American perspective: http://www.wsj.com/articles/europes-new-medieval-map-1452875514

I don't see Germany shattering into it's consistuent HRE states anytime soon though.

I don't see it.

You're not able to see the article or not seeing what the article says? It is an op-ed anyway, not a deep analysis. Just thought it was interesting.
Logged

Sheb

  • Bay Watcher
  • You Are An Avatar
    • View Profile
Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #145 on: January 16, 2016, 11:47:13 am »

I thought it simplistic and not offering any hindsight.
Logged

Quote from: Paul-Henry Spaak
Europe consists only of small countries, some of which know it and some of which don’t yet.

martinuzz

  • Bay Watcher
  • High dwarf
    • View Profile
Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #146 on: January 17, 2016, 05:01:12 pm »

The German minister of Finance, Wolfgang Schaüble, has made a proposal to the European Union.
He wants all 28 member states to impose a special extra tax on petrol, to pay for the costs of the refugee crisis.
In an interview with the Süddeutsche Zeitung he said: "If the means at the disposal of the national finance budgets, and European budgets are insufficient, then let's at least levy a tax on every liter of gasoline".

Schaüble realizes that this is a very sensitive issue, but says: "Why wouldn't we agree this with each other in the EU, now the issue is so very urgent? We need to close the outside borders of Schengen, now! We cannot allow that not to happen just because there's not enough money."
He continues: "Even if some are not willing to pay, I still will. Then we will just form a 'coalition of the willing'".

Schaüble also suggests deploying the army within Germany, to assist with keeping the order, in special cases. He says that Germany needs to take a lesson from what happened in Cologne. Currently, deploying the military in keeping the peace is against the Constitution, but Schaüble argues that "we need to ask ourselves why other countries in Europe do have the possibility to have their armed forces aid their police, under strict conditions, but we can't. That will not stand the test of time".

http://www.volkskrant.nl/buitenland/duitse-minister-financien-speciale-heffing-op-benzine-vanwege-vluchtelingencrisis~a4226277/
http://www.sueddeutsche.de/politik/fluechtlingspolitik-schaeuble-stuetzt-kurs-der-kanzlerin-1.2820991
 
« Last Edit: January 17, 2016, 05:04:41 pm by martinuzz »
Logged
Optimists have just used up the last bit of hope. Run for your lives!

Enjoy the freedom to explore the limits of your constraints

http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=73719.msg1830479#msg1830479

scriver

  • Bay Watcher
  • City streets ain't got much pity
    • View Profile
Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #147 on: January 17, 2016, 05:36:07 pm »

Sweden already has huge taxes on petrol, and people here needs their cars to get to places, and trucks to deliver stuffs to the outskirts. Sweden isn't some nice little garden state covered in suburban landscapes where you're never more than 30 minutes away from the city.
Logged
Love, scriver~

Helgoland

  • Bay Watcher
  • No man is an island.
    • View Profile
Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #148 on: January 17, 2016, 05:46:57 pm »

Prices collapsed over the last year though. A petrol tax would be anything but inhumane, and moreover would help in reducing the oil price crash's impact on the climate.
Logged
The Bay12 postcard club
Arguably he's already a progressive, just one in the style of an enlightened Kaiser.
I'm going to do the smart thing here and disengage. This isn't a hill I paticularly care to die on.

Loud Whispers

  • Bay Watcher
  • They said we have to aim higher, so we dug deeper.
    • View Profile
    • I APPLAUD YOU SIRRAH
Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #149 on: January 17, 2016, 06:06:32 pm »

REMOVE PICKELHAUBE remove pickelhaube
you are worst kraut. you are the kraut idiot you are the kraut smell. return to prussia. to our prusia cousins you may come our contry. you may live in the zoo….ahahahaha ,swedin we will never forgeve you. merkal rascal FUck but fuck asshole kraut stink swedan sqhipere shqipare..kraut genocide best day of my life. take a bath of dead nazi..ahahahahahSWEDIN WE WILL GET YOU!! do not forget ww2 .german we kill the fuhrer , german return to your precious rhine….hahahahaha idiot kraut and swedon smell so bad..wow i can smell it. REMOVE PICKELHAUBE FROM THE PREMISES. you will get caught. austria+poland+uk+russia=kill seden…you will ww2/ tupac alive in warsaw, tupac making album of warsaw . fast rap tupac warsaw. we are rich and have gold now hahahaha ha because of tupac… you are ppoor stink kraut… you live in a hovel hahahaha, you live in a camp
Pages: 1 ... 8 9 [10] 11 12 ... 699