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Author Topic: The friendly and polite Europe related terrible jokes thread  (Read 974723 times)

Loud Whispers

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #855 on: February 27, 2016, 12:59:47 pm »

Nobody ever took away Greek democracy - the Greek people always had the power to tell their leaders 'Fuck you, and fuck all this shit'.
[sensible chuckling]

They had that power back when the Greek debt first piled up, they had that power when the Euro was introduced, they had that power when the crisis began. They always had the option of just walking away and leaving the Euro - but they didn't, and nobody forced them.
By the way, I didn't know you were a Eurofederalist - 'sending in Germinators' would've meant the EU taking over part of Greece's, and thus all member states', sovereignity.
Yup, fully aware. It could well work, I don't doubt that Germinators would be able to search and destroy tax dodgers and corrupt officials, and when there is a major domestic problem often having neutral foreigners show up to bring everything back in order can do good. Taking away their power to sort themselves out and doing nothing in its place? Nah, that is the worst of both worlds. At least with Germinators when you lose everything you gain something in return, one of the EU's greatest weaknesses is its bloated bureaucracy, but the caveat is bureaucracy exists for a reason - reliable taxation!
Though I suppose it's worth clarifying I don't have a hatred for the Commission out of concept, but out of implementation (with so much bloody deceit!) and the fact that my country is being implemented into it (with so much bloody deceit!). Plus there is the very real possibility that in the upcoming UK referendum that we fail, at which point by virtue of wasted political opportunity democracy will have to be abandoned in favour of autonomy and enlightened bureaucracy/technocracy at which point the serious political position for prosperity will have to be integration and centralization (we are borg), and I also do worry about our country being stabbed in the back by powerful europhiles like Cameron who'd poison our independence just as the Nords did (we are bork). And on the upside with the more BOGOtastic possibility (currently the leave campaign has taken the lead PRAISE BOGO praise bogo), in order of priority I'd rather see functional European nations than a dysfunctional EUSSR, but if there is no will for that (outside stronk slavs anyways) then I'd rather see a functional EUSSR than a dysfunctional one. Preferably one that focuses more on building themselves up than trying to crush those within and without. Fingers crossed. Optional: They reform as the Roman Empire
I'm also suspicious as to what the EU intends to do with the control over France's hegemony in Africa, but that's another topic entirely
On the issue of setting precedents for surrendering sovereignty of all nation states, I figure no one outside of Eastern Europe will give a shit and the UK will win independence so we'll be fine too (even if we don't, London shekel magic has thwarted all continual efforts by Brussels to take over our finances, and is now having London shekel magic take over Brussels - who is pushing for EU deregulation? London shekel wizards of course, who I assume are trying to blow debt bubbles all over Yurop through a happy alliance with the Commission). That is the sampson option of a UK that fails to win independence. What caused Sweden and Germany to suffer so tremendously? Globalism and cultural marxism fusing together to make the dystopian consumerist gulag lands we live in today, and London is the capital of all of these movements (well, one of them. There are a lot of capitals vying for the title, Stockholm and Berlin included), so the UK can just go full Sweden and outswede the Swedes, we've seen this already with the Portuguese mocking the Germans for being evil racists who are turning back refugees. The hilarious part? Cracked eggs aside, everyone would be happy with this arrangement :D

Though to be fair knowing our luck as soon as we did that Front Nationale would win France and nuke us smh

As you know, that is indeed what I advocate - but I have the nagging suspicion that any move in such a direction would've been decried as imperialist agression and neocolonial exploitation. Which is bullshit, of course - but that's politics for you.
GERMANS GIVE BACK ROMAN CLAY, REPARATIONS FOR CONSTANTINOPLE NOW, FAKE ROMAN EMPIRE NEVAR 5get

Also how many royalties do you think Greece is owed every time someone uses philosophy or yoghurt?

Necolonial exploitation =/= white people, so you're safe unless the Greeks emphasize their Turkish cred. Also it's pretty much Imperialism just by another name, same way Russia, Turkey, China, even the USA never call their Imperialist exploits by that name (even using anti-Imperialist narratives to justify their Imperialism, just look at the African warlords using post-colonial narratives to conduct colonialism)

smjjames

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #856 on: February 27, 2016, 03:21:41 pm »

*roots/tentacles/whatever representing American politics burst into the EuroPol thread*

The former leader of Frances right-wing movement endorses Trump No idea about the current leader (who is the daughter of that guy). :P
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SirQuiamus

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #857 on: February 27, 2016, 04:38:05 pm »

On the issue of setting precedents for surrendering sovereignty of all nation states, I figure no one outside of Eastern Europe will give a shit and the UK will win independence so we'll be fine too (even if we don't, London shekel magic has thwarted all continual efforts by Brussels to take over our finances, and is now having London shekel magic take over Brussels - who is pushing for EU deregulation? London shekel wizards of course, who I assume are trying to blow debt bubbles all over Yurop through a happy alliance with the Commission).
thatcher alive numbr one #1 in londonistan ….fuck the brussels ,..FUCKk ashol german no good. thatcher aliv and real stronk witch kill all german farm aminal with London shekel magic now we the UK rule. ape of the zoo presidant jean-claud junckr fukc the great satan and lay egg this egg hatch and brussls wa;s born. stupid baby form the eggn give bak our clay we will crush u lik a skull of pig. UK greattst countrey

In all seriousness, I do – in fact – think that you will "win" the election, one way or another. It's either UK gaining "independence" via Brexit, or UK gaining "independence" via "renegotiation of EU treaties according to real stronk fast rap London shekel magic hahaha we are rich and have shekel because of thatcher."

Or whatever. You're fucking set in any case. Neoliberalism will triumph, no worries m∞.

EDIT:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
« Last Edit: February 27, 2016, 05:10:48 pm by SirQuiamus »
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Dorsidwarf

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #858 on: February 27, 2016, 07:36:05 pm »


I dunno what's so scary about EU, really. Do you expect it to go full Stalin on you and your nations after it takes FULL CONTROL, or what?
Sergarr why hasn't Russia joined the EU there is nothing to fear

1) The EU wouldn't let them in because it's a dictatorship in all but name

2) They don't have any real interest in joining the EU anyway.

3) NATO would flip their collective shit and cry to Junkers or whatever.

4) Glorious soviet Russian pride
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Deus Asmoth

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #859 on: February 27, 2016, 07:46:43 pm »

Not necessarily of relevance to the rest of the EU, but Fianna Fail (aka, the party that fucked up the country) seem to be making their comeback into Irish politics. It was inevitable, but I was hoping it'd take somewhat longer than this for people to take them back. And current percentages are making a three party government a distinct possibility, which hasn't exactly worked out well before.
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ChairmanPoo

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #860 on: February 27, 2016, 08:43:57 pm »

question: according to wikipedia, both major political parties in Ireland are centre right?
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Deus Asmoth

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #861 on: February 27, 2016, 10:01:26 pm »

It's... a weird situation. Most of their policies are very similar and they actually originally were the same party. They split over a disagreement that's no longer relevant (FF's founders boycotted the government rather than swear an oath to the king of England while still part of the Commonwealth) but they're unlikely to ever get back together or even form a coalition government because of the civil war. They've remained the big political players for pretty much the same reason I guess, and the Irish mentality is generally ill-inclined towards supporting newer parties.
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ChairmanPoo

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #862 on: February 27, 2016, 10:24:24 pm »

I'm reading up on the matter right now... I was really unfamiliar with Irish history and politics except on vague terms....
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Deus Asmoth

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #863 on: February 27, 2016, 11:52:33 pm »

Yeah, it all kind of got overshadowed by the WWs I guess. And the British at the time probably wouldn't have been broadcasting it.
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Dorsidwarf

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #864 on: February 28, 2016, 02:57:43 am »

I hope the incumbents stay in, because they seem to have been the only government I've ever seen perform austerity measures correctly ( A temporary set of cuts to ease the immediate strain, which are then slowly reversed as the country recovers.)
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Sheb

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #865 on: February 28, 2016, 10:36:34 am »

Hey, I finally read LW's pentapost! Wasn't that interesting TBH, although quite readable. I think part of the issue is that he seems to assume I was advocating collapsing the UK through trade war (hence his argument about Napolean). I'm not. The EU doesn't want to start a trade war. If it wanted to, it couldn't (WTO rules, no institutional tools to do so), and even if it could, it wouldn't turn the UK into a third world country. It would cause a massive recessions in the short term (even if you can trade with the rest of the world, it takes time to re-adjust trade pattern) and it would make the UK poorer in the long run, but that's it.

I'm still not sure where you started on that tangent, since no one adocated a trade war. All I see is you citing an unnamed MP who said that some German bureaucrat said so. Given the context and the undirect way this citation came from, I'd take this with a mountain of salt.



Norway

What you terms "humanitarian money" is contributions to various EU agencies and structural European funds. By the same token, the UK's contribution to the EU are also humanitarian (maybe you should include that in your massive aid budget  :P). In any case, they amount to more or less what the Norwegians would be paying as a member, in the word of their own European Affais minister.

German Fiscal Situation

That report is all very nice, but you're comparing apples to orange. Every western country got unfunded pensions liability. My claim was that Germany's situation was better than the UK (I didn't cite a source for my numbers since I got them from the table at the end of my paper version of the Economist. It is true that the pension issue is going to be less in the UK than Germany, both because the UK are on average a younger country (although that might be changing depending on how immigration goes, and because UK pensions are less generous. I've just spent 15 minutes looking, and found a couple papers that do back your claim (This one for exemple put unfunded pensions liabilities of 228% of GDP to 2050 for Germany vs. 146 % for the UK. However they all use data from before the financial crisis and the ballooning of UK debt. If you have some more recent numbers I'd love them.

Of course, there are so many variable (growth rate, whether Scotland stays, etc etc) that it's hard to judge for certain.

Actually, I should probably make an effort of explaining my position better so you don't waste another hour on Napoleonic strategy. I'm pro-EU. I think that it's better, both for the UK and the rEU if a Brexit doesn't happen (although as a good leftie part of me relish the kind of good financial standards we could enact once Dave is not there to act as the City's lobbyist-in-chief.)

However, I don't think it's going to be a catastrophy either if the UK leaves. The UK is probably the EU country that is the most able to stand on its own on the international stage. It's an island, which means it is less integrated with its neighbours than, say, my own Belgium. It has enough clout to not be entirely irrelevant on its own, including a decent military. The Commonwealth gives it ties with many countries that do not go through the EU.

I still think the UK would see its influence diminish, and its economy will be slightly smaller that it would otherwise have been, but it's not going to be the end of the world. And maybe we can improve that lumbering monster a bit faster once the UK is not there. The Commissions will move closer to being truly elected (Cameron was the only major EU leader trying to block the Parliament from having its pick) and we won't have to deal with Britain's endless demands for opt-outs.

Anyway, if I'm wrong, and the UK's economy does collapse, I'll send you aid LW.  :)
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Loud Whispers

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #866 on: February 28, 2016, 12:22:37 pm »


*roots/tentacles/whatever representing American politics burst into the EuroPol thread*
The former leader of Frances right-wing movement endorses Trump No idea about the current leader (who is the daughter of that guy). :P
The old leader is pretty old far-right nationalist (he got expelled from the party by his daughter after making Holocaust denial or something IIRC), whereas his daughter ebin le pen is pretty much the only Trump we have in Europe, in character, beliefs and strategy

She scares a lot of people, and inspires a lot of people to scare the former people
Not sure if she wants walls, as I think that's Orban's turf, but she def wants to ramp up the repatriation
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
hahahahah we have no gold now because brown haha
Oh wait, that's bad
SWISSORLLAND IGV BAK GOLD

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Maybe, but there is no rest for the BOGO if freedom is to be won

Anyway, if I'm wrong, and the UK's economy does collapse, I'll send you aid LW.  :)
Women and Greece first! Women and Greece first!

Sheb

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #867 on: February 28, 2016, 01:13:23 pm »

Dude, what exactly did that Gunthar told which MP?

And how on Earth would the UK not trading with the continent next to it not diminish its long-term growth potential? We can argue with the magnitude of the effect, but arguing that there would be no effect at all? From cutting yourself from the group that makes up about half of your export market?
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Quote from: Paul-Henry Spaak
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Sergarr

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #868 on: February 28, 2016, 02:07:00 pm »

I dunno what's so scary about EU, really. Do you expect it to go full Stalin on you and your nations after it takes FULL CONTROL, or what?
Sergarr why hasn't Russia joined the EU there is nothing to fear
1) The EU wouldn't let them in because it's a dictatorship in all but name
Counter-point: Orban
2) They don't have any real interest in joining the EU anyway.
but muh free eu money

and True European Seal of Approval too

4) Glorious soviet Russian pride
dude most of russians that I know of would consider Russia joining EU as being worth of much more pride than, say, the current lol-alliance with China (Chinese people are really really disliked by most Russians, I must say). "European quality" is synonymous with "Excellent-and-usually-better-than-anything-ours quality" over here, you know. The "Russia has its own way" crowd has been so intellectually bankrupt as to have produced no coherent point outside of dreadful religious garbage over hundreds of years for which they existed in Russian society.
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._.

SirQuiamus

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #869 on: February 28, 2016, 03:06:28 pm »

And how on Earth would the UK not trading with the continent next to it not diminish its long-term growth potential?
Not on Earth, obviously.
Spoiler: allow me to explain... (click to show/hide)
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