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Author Topic: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread  (Read 400712 times)

Rolepgeek

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #900 on: February 29, 2016, 12:17:46 am »

Damn you Loud Whispers

I'm supposed to be writing a cultural event essay, and I can't get your cheeki banter out of my head

Every time I read the prompt about explaining why it was culturally enriching I see your avatar putting on a troll face

You bastard you planned this all along

This was you enriching me
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Loud Whispers

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #901 on: February 29, 2016, 01:05:54 am »

Cultural status:
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WealthyRadish

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #902 on: February 29, 2016, 01:16:57 am »

Cultural status:
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Adding [tt] and [/tt] around it allows the checkboxes to line up.
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Sheb

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #903 on: February 29, 2016, 02:03:53 am »



I'm not arguing there'd be no effect (how do you read this, stop making assumptions on what I say and just read what I say?), the EU cannot stop the UK from trading with Europe, and it's increasingly frustrating to have to keep responding with the same facts because no one gives a shit to actually read what the numbers are. Just so many people going "yeah well this will happen, I have no facts to show this is what will happen, but it will" whilst the facts are right there!

Quote
And it would not cause massive recessions in the short term for the UK, it would do so for Germany - our trade pattern is with the world and increasing. It wouldn't make the UK poorer

That sounded a lot like "we don't care". Saying that loosing half of your export market overnight wouldn't cause a massive recessions strikes me a very dubious. And yes, I know that proportion is slowly shrinking as the rest of the world get richer. But it's still massive! Also, your directly state "it wouldn't make the UK poorer. That sounds a lot like you're arguing there'd be no effect.

I'm all for not making assumptions about what you're saying, but then stop saying stuff you don't mean.

As for our friend Gunther Krichbaum, I actually searched in the thread for every mention you made of him. Not once did you link a source.

Quote
The responses to this are surprising coming from a pro-EU newspaper, after one of our MPs leaked a delightful conversation with Germany's EU Affairs Chairman Gunther Krichbaum where Gunther Krichbaum threatened the UK with trade war and economic collapse during a meeting. Understanding that Gunther Krichbaum was just probably trying to intimidate him personally, our good ol' MP decided to make this statement public.

Quote
France is not threatening us with trade war, Portugal is not threatening us with trade war, Denmark is not, Poland is not, Hungary is not, Austria is not, Spain is not, Italy is not e.t.c.
Only German ministers, with Gunther Krichbaum being a repeat offender.

And a couple of other bants. So what exactly did that chairman of the Bundestag commitee tell what MP?

Also, reading back, why do you systematically ignore that trade relations are negotiated at the EU level?
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Loud Whispers

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #904 on: February 29, 2016, 04:25:11 am »

That sounded a lot like "we don't care". Saying that loosing half of your export market overnight wouldn't cause a massive recessions strikes me a very dubious. And yes, I know that proportion is slowly shrinking as the rest of the world get richer. But it's still massive! Also, your directly state "it wouldn't make the UK poorer. That sounds a lot like you're arguing there'd be no effect.
Perhaps you've mistaken my disregard for the scenario as a disregard for good living. I do quite care, I don't have any financial incentive in seeking poverty. I just reject the notion of a trade war or such an extreme example as total collapse of trade as even realistic, same way I do not give any credence to a military strike upon the UK. In an alternate reality where the Commission actually wields the power to halt British exports to the European continent, a situation that has never been successfully carried out upon the British in recorded history once, (the only times where I can find a collapse in trade are during the Great War and WWII, where the UK stopped exporting soap and tea and started exporting shells and bombs), things do not end well for the UK but what matters to me is it ends even worse for the continent. In this scenario where the EU manages to succeed where all others have failed (and that's what that whole Napoleon tangent was about, even with one of the greatest generals, with one of the greatest militaries, with all of Europe including Russia backing them in outright blockading the UK to cause economic collapse - not only failed to stop the UK trading with the Americas, also failed to stop the UK trading with Europe. But again, let's all put that aside. In this apocalyptic scenario where some Brussel shekel wizards manage to halt all UK exports to Europe completely and demand from growing world economies halts because the world economy just so happens to be collapsing at the same time or something, (also removing the financial crutch of London as stocks and forex reserves pop into worthlessness), the humanitarian disaster that would hit the EU alongside the economic one would be sufficient deterrence to such attempts. Consider that Russia has been able to force EU compliance with less interdependence, whilst if it should come to harm the UK what would become of the $100B worth of German imports the UK pays for yearly? It is like watching someone threaten to pull the pin from the grenade whilst they are 20 metres away in order to make me do what they want, I know they will die, I have a chance of surviving. I'd rather they not pull the pin and just work with me, but knowing survival is possible is a confidence booster.

I'm all for not making assumptions about what you're saying, but then stop saying stuff you don't mean.
I say what I mean and you read into it all you can, I'm not exactly Shakespeare here, it's not to be or not to be, it is.

As for our friend Gunther Krichbaum, I actually searched in the thread for every mention you made of him. Not once did you link a source.
Quote
The responses to this are surprising coming from a pro-EU newspaper, after one of our MPs leaked a delightful conversation with Germany's EU Affairs Chairman Gunther Krichbaum where Gunther Krichbaum threatened the UK with trade war and economic collapse during a meeting. Understanding that Gunther Krichbaum was just probably trying to intimidate him personally, our good ol' MP decided to make this statement public.
Quote
France is not threatening us with trade war, Portugal is not threatening us with trade war, Denmark is not, Poland is not, Hungary is not, Austria is not, Spain is not, Italy is not e.t.c.
Only German ministers, with Gunther Krichbaum being a repeat offender.

And a couple of other bants. So what exactly did that chairman of the Bundestag commitee tell what MP?

Also, reading back, why do you systematically ignore that trade relations are negotiated at the EU level?

Goodness gracious, that selective reading. Is this is language barrier or something?
I was greeted by a most unpleasant sight this evening from one of my papers, the Metro. They are pro-EU but it seems this was even too much for them.
If you ask of me to hear you out on quoting from paper-copies of the Economist without delivering on issue and then try to pull this on me whilst deliberately editing out the exact part where I disclose my source, well, you can see why I get the impression that Europol thread does not deserve to be taken seriously when it conducts everything dishonestly
At any rate it's in the recycling, but the BBC does this thing where they talk about headlines in the papers, unfortunately they do not cover my paper but they do cover the Daily Mail which also covered the same story online. Generally speaking citing the Daily Mail is bad form unless the lefties are covering for more rapists again, it is worth noting this is the same minister warning that the UK is opening pandora's box and had to be stopped whilst he himself had to be calmed down by one of his MPs to stop advocating sanctions on Poland to "save" Poles in Poland when he's not busy telling Cameron he'll get a bloody nose if he curbs immigration unilaterally. He's also in charge of the EU sanctions on Russia.
He seems to me to be a bit too sanction happy, he's playing with other peoples' lives and not from a position of victory. Seems odd as well, when everyone criticizes him for meddling in internal affairs, he proves them wrong by threatening their nations with economic destruction if they do not listen to him. The problem with a man whose hands are hammers is that all problems start to look like nails.

Oh, yeah and I'm systematically ignoring the EU's dealings with the USA and China because the UK conducts their own trade relations and the EU's current negotiations have been a dismal failure so far and I'm not sure how long they can keep the periphery placated.
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Note well! Independent trade relations at work here! Also note well! Our trade relations fit our country, and are not forced upon countries to whom it would actually harm!
« Last Edit: February 29, 2016, 04:26:43 am by Loud Whispers »
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Loud Whispers

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #905 on: March 01, 2016, 06:11:03 pm »

The Leave Campaign has started to eat itself which will mean relations after the referendum between North and South, Tory and Tory and Cameron and Left is going to be fucking fantastic (well, if you like interesting politics). Salmon publicly rebuked Cameron for leading a campaign of fear, for which he got haranged by his own cabinet - and Salmon delivered a horrendous smackdown "you don't have a 20 point lead to squander anymore"

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Loud Whispers

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #906 on: March 01, 2016, 06:26:31 pm »

Wasn't it the Sturgeon General who said that, or are you implying he's pulling her strings?
Oh wait, yeah that's who I meant. I sometimes confuse the two after hours of making fish puns.
http://www.theguardian.com/politics/2016/feb/29/sturgeon-camerons-eu-deal-is-underwhelming-for-undecided-voters

Also I'm surprised no one's mentioned the Moscow thing from yesterday. Though I suppose it's not EU enough.
Now Russia is joining in on the West's tradition of maintaining social cohesion

mainiac

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #907 on: March 01, 2016, 06:34:21 pm »

Not sure why a murder needs to be national news anyway.  So I guess the issue is more with the other non stories they made into news then with this one not being news.
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nenjin

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #908 on: March 01, 2016, 07:18:59 pm »

To be fair, it's lurid even by Russian standards. It combines violence against children, a truly gruesome and a public showing of it...and a passing, crazy reference to terrorism on top of it. It would have easily made national headlines here. Why you expect the Russians to downplay it or treat it as normal, I'm not sure. But even setting aside the act itself, the message one can take away from her ramblings is enough to be of consequence everyone.

Or it's just a lurid murder story that made national attentions. News at 11.
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Loud Whispers

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #909 on: March 01, 2016, 11:05:09 pm »

Not sure why a murder needs to be national news anyway.  So I guess the issue is more with the other non stories they made into news then with this one not being news.
Because jihadis beheading children and setting peoples' homes on fire is not an ordinary occurrence in Moscow, this is not exactly your average murder (with most murders being news worthy on the local level minimum, serial killers and public murders national level and especially shocking murders international). Sort of like that guy who was cooked to death in the kayak furnace by accident or the two Russian kids who died in the boiling sewer, only this time it wasn't an accident and it was done by a jihadi at a time where jihadis are highly relevant to the old world due to a recent spike in beheadings on our streets

Also a kid victim

Morrigi

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #910 on: March 02, 2016, 01:21:19 am »

Better chalk this one up to workplace violence.
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martinuzz

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #911 on: March 02, 2016, 02:12:15 am »

Greece has filed a request for humanitarian aid with the EU. They want 300 million euros right now, another 200 million in 2017, and another in 2018, to cope with the refugees, and prevent the country from gliding into chaos and malaise.
If the EU approves, it would be the first time that the EU sends humanitarian aid to a member state.


In the past two months, 120 thousand migants have arrived in Greece. That is 30 times more than arrived in the same period last year, of which most are stuck in Greece, since it's neigboring states have closed their borders. Even more refugees are expected to come when spring arrives, and better weather makes crossing the mediterranean easier.

The Greekish prime minister Tsipras has threatened that if countries like Macedonia, Bulgaria, Slovania and Austria do not re-open their borders, from now on Greece will block any and every EU proposal.

http://www.volkskrant.nl/buitenland/griekenland-bezwijkt-onder-migranten-700-miljoen-euro-nodig~a4254982/

In b4 Greece invades neighbouring countries with tractors and bulldozers to get rid of the fences
« Last Edit: March 02, 2016, 02:14:31 am by martinuzz »
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Sheb

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #912 on: March 02, 2016, 02:42:02 am »

And then, somehow, this will be the EU's fault.
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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #913 on: March 02, 2016, 03:08:58 am »

So now we have to give Greece even more cash? Can't we just get Orban to go over there and teach them how to keep people out of their country?
Yeah, what were those lazy Greeks thinking by having 13,000 km of coastline and geographic proximity to most of the origin areas for refugees?

What do you want them to do, rediscover Greek fire and start lobbing it at migrant rafts?
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Sheb

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #914 on: March 02, 2016, 03:09:34 am »

Build a wall across the Aegean and get the Syrians to pay for it.
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