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Author Topic: The friendly and polite Europe related terrible jokes thread  (Read 1008562 times)

martinuzz

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #3195 on: July 20, 2016, 07:51:58 am »

We should make nudism obligatory by law. That way you'll always spot the bombvest.
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Friendly and polite reminder for optimists: Hope is a finite resource

We can ­disagree and still love each other, ­unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist - James Baldwin

http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=73719.msg1830479#msg1830479

martinuzz

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #3196 on: July 20, 2016, 08:09:22 am »

Supermarket Carrefour at Waterloo (Brussels) has also been evacuated, as a suspect package has been found. Bomb squad is at the site.
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Friendly and polite reminder for optimists: Hope is a finite resource

We can ­disagree and still love each other, ­unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist - James Baldwin

http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=73719.msg1830479#msg1830479

Sheb

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #3197 on: July 20, 2016, 08:18:21 am »

Supermarket Carrefour at Waterloo (Brussels) has also been evacuated, as a suspect package has been found. Bomb squad is at the site.


Yeah, that one is annoying, I needed to buy some groceries.


Tranquilizers might not help much: it's easy to rig a vest with a deadman-switch.
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Quote from: Paul-Henry Spaak
Europe consists only of small countries, some of which know it and some of which don’t yet.

Sergarr

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #3198 on: July 20, 2016, 08:47:28 am »

Erdogan bans academics from leaving country and orders those overseas to return.

"Free academic thought is poisonous to dictators" (c)
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._.

martinuzz

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #3199 on: July 20, 2016, 08:51:34 am »

I guess the EU can expect some more asylum requests now

Tranquilizers might not help much: it's easy to rig a vest with a deadman-switch.
Yeah I guess you're right and it looks like they really really want this guy alive, to give him some pain receptor enhancing drugs and ask him where he got the vest while gently squeezing his nipples.
« Last Edit: July 20, 2016, 08:57:35 am by martinuzz »
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Friendly and polite reminder for optimists: Hope is a finite resource

We can ­disagree and still love each other, ­unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist - James Baldwin

http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=73719.msg1830479#msg1830479

Sheb

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #3200 on: July 20, 2016, 08:56:42 am »

Not if he keeps them from fleeing, no.
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Quote from: Paul-Henry Spaak
Europe consists only of small countries, some of which know it and some of which don’t yet.

martinuzz

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #3201 on: July 20, 2016, 08:58:05 am »

Not if he keeps them from fleeing, no.
I was referring to the academics that have been ordered to return
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Friendly and polite reminder for optimists: Hope is a finite resource

We can ­disagree and still love each other, ­unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist - James Baldwin

http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=73719.msg1830479#msg1830479

TempAcc

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #3202 on: July 20, 2016, 08:58:24 am »

Gotta stop all those pesky "I don't feel like wearing a turkish flag apron and whipping the coup soldiers and beheading them" people.

Anyway, are there even tranqulizers that work so fast as to knock out a fully grown man before he even gets a chance to pull a trigger? I feel like he'd just go ~aw shit~ once the dart hit him and start shooting/blowing things.
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Sheb

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #3203 on: July 20, 2016, 09:01:14 am »

Gotta stop all those pesky "I don't feel like wearing a turkish flag apron and whipping the coup soldiers and beheading them" people.

Anyway, are there even tranqulizers that work so fast as to knock out a fully grown man before he even gets a chance to pull a trigger? I feel like he'd just go ~aw shit~ once the dart hit him and start shooting/blowing things.

You could taze him, but then, a) We are not 'murricans and b) Dead man switch.
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Quote from: Paul-Henry Spaak
Europe consists only of small countries, some of which know it and some of which don’t yet.

martinuzz

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #3204 on: July 20, 2016, 09:02:00 am »

Anyway, are there even tranqulizers that work so fast as to knock out a fully grown man before he even gets a chance to pull a trigger?
There's a few marine creatures that have a poison that paralyses nearly instantly but doesn't kill. People stung die of drowning, not of heart or lung failure.
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Friendly and polite reminder for optimists: Hope is a finite resource

We can ­disagree and still love each other, ­unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist - James Baldwin

http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=73719.msg1830479#msg1830479

martinuzz

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #3205 on: July 20, 2016, 09:23:21 am »

Apparently the entire Belgian army is going to be mobilized tomorrow to secure the National Day. Even some soldiers who would usually join the parade at National Day, will be deployed now instead.

Speaking of large events, this weekend, the Gay Pride parade will be held in Amsterdam. While the past few years, this event has been advertised and pre-celebrated bigtime in the media, this year there's almost no advertisement of it.
I wonder if that's per request of the security service, to keep it low profile.

Last year the event had the center of Amsterdam closed down for new vistors halfway through, by emergency mayoral decree, because with 2 million visitors in the city center on top of the 1 million population, Amsterdam was just literally full.

In other news, the Belgian parliament passed a new law last week, which forbids the sale of anonymous prepaid SIM cards. They expect that late this year, you will need to have your ID registered when purchasing a pre-paid card.
« Last Edit: July 20, 2016, 10:01:38 am by martinuzz »
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Friendly and polite reminder for optimists: Hope is a finite resource

We can ­disagree and still love each other, ­unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist - James Baldwin

http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=73719.msg1830479#msg1830479

martinuzz

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #3206 on: July 20, 2016, 10:50:58 am »

Looks like the man who has been held at gunpoint for four hours was a false alarm. Police reports that he was no terrorist but a "person studying waves and radiaton".
« Last Edit: July 20, 2016, 10:52:38 am by martinuzz »
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Friendly and polite reminder for optimists: Hope is a finite resource

We can ­disagree and still love each other, ­unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist - James Baldwin

http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=73719.msg1830479#msg1830479

MarcAFK

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #3207 on: July 20, 2016, 10:57:10 am »

Looks like the man who has been held at gunpoint for four hours was a false alarm. Police reports that he was no terrorist but a "person studying waves and radiaton".
Lolwhat? #belgians
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Turkey’s controversial President Recep Tayyip Erdogan has sparked mockery and condemnation by defending new powers he wants to give himself as being similar to Adolf Hitler’s.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
TBH considering the amount of people he's rounded up he must already have petty Hitlery powers. And I'm not talking about hiding emails.
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Sheb

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #3208 on: July 20, 2016, 10:58:31 am »

He's a university student apparently.

My local supermarket was also just a case of someone forgetting a bag in a shopping cart.
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Quote from: Paul-Henry Spaak
Europe consists only of small countries, some of which know it and some of which don’t yet.

martinuzz

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #3209 on: July 20, 2016, 10:59:06 am »

And I'm not talking about hiding emails.
That's one power he apparently doesn't have #wikileaks

He's a university student apparently.
Poor guy. I'm sure he has wave and radiation patterns in his underpants now.

My local supermarket was also just a case of someone forgetting a bag in a shopping cart.
It's getting more and more clear that the terrorists have won.
Maybe I should just emigrate to Israel, at least their wall is finished.
« Last Edit: July 20, 2016, 11:03:27 am by martinuzz »
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Friendly and polite reminder for optimists: Hope is a finite resource

We can ­disagree and still love each other, ­unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist - James Baldwin

http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=73719.msg1830479#msg1830479
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