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Author Topic: The friendly and polite Europe related terrible jokes thread  (Read 988395 times)

martinuzz

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #6660 on: September 12, 2017, 10:28:30 am »

EDIT: hmm why did I put this in the EU thread. Ahwell I'll just leave it here

Reuters reporters sneakily monitored Russian regional elections, and found that at 6 out of the 6 voting locations they monitored, there was significant voting fraud, by adding fake votes.
They tested 6 voting locations for fraud, by simply counting the number of voters going in, and comparing that with the end of the day vote count.
At all 6 locations, the official count showed more voters to have cast their vote than actually did.
At a voting booth in Vladikavkaz, the Reuters reporter counted a total of 256 voters going into the voting office. Yet at the end of the day, at the vote count, 1867 people had cast their vote there, according to the voting crew.
One representative of Putin's party United Russia explained why he was seen stuffing extra votes into the voting box: "We have to ensure that United Russia gets 85% of the votes, or the Tzar (Putin) will stop sending us money".
After Sergej Ljoetikov, member of United Russia, cast his vote, he proceeded to add some more packs of voting tickets into the box, up to ten times.
When he noticed that he was being watched by a reporter, he threatened to take her phone, unless she would wipe it's memory.
According to the reporter, the supervisor of the voting location was able to see quite clearly what Ljoetikov did, but when asked what she thought of his behaviour, she just replied she hadn't seen anything.

At the end of the day, all the 16 regions for which a new governor had to be elected, had Putin's preferred candidate elected with a majority vote.

https://www.volkskrant.nl/buitenland/reuters-verslaggevers-doen-steekproef-tijdens-russische-verkiezingen-in-alle-stemlokalen-kiesfraude~a4516189/

https://www.reuters.com/article/us-russia-election-fraud-exclusive/exclusive-at-a-russian-polling-station-phantom-voters-cast-ballots-for-the-tsar-idUSKCN1BN15P
« Last Edit: September 12, 2017, 10:31:33 am by martinuzz »
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http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=73719.msg1830479#msg1830479

scriver

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #6661 on: September 12, 2017, 11:27:26 am »

EDIT: hmm why did I put this in the EU thread. Ahwell I'll just leave it here

Just rename it back to the Europe thread, it's what it is the continuation of anyway, and we don't have any reason to confine the Ukraine-Russia conflict discussion to it's own thread any more since there's much less chance of getting heated here these days.
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Antioch

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #6662 on: September 12, 2017, 03:45:01 pm »

Meanwhile, water is wet. More news at 11.

That Russia's suffering major voting fraud's not new in any way. There's just no way to stop it, bar invading the place to force actual votes to happen. I still recall when a place had 110% turnout, or around that number.

That's not that weird actually. Here in the Netherlands our Islands frequently have over 200% turnout because a lot of tourists vote there.
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Helgoland

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #6663 on: September 12, 2017, 06:32:19 pm »

There's not too many tourists in Siberia, I think.

Also do you not have assigned voting locations? That's how it works here - you either vote at home, or via mail.
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martinuzz

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #6664 on: September 13, 2017, 01:14:46 am »

There's not too many tourists in Siberia, I think.

Also do you not have assigned voting locations? That's how it works here - you either vote at home, or via mail.
It's quite possible that there are more non-Siberians in Siberia than there are Siberians. Percentages over 100% make sense if those on 'state holiday' in Siberia are allowed to vote from their re-education camps. Dunno if they are allowed that though, ask Pussy Riot, they should know.
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Friendly and polite reminder for optimists: Hope is a finite resource

We can ­disagree and still love each other, ­unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist - James Baldwin

http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=73719.msg1830479#msg1830479

ChairmanPoo

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #6665 on: September 13, 2017, 01:34:17 am »

Normally people convicted of felonies are not allowed to vote,  no...
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Loud Whispers

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #6666 on: September 13, 2017, 01:37:30 pm »

So, the EU repeal bill has been passed in the UK. I recall reading a few days ago that it also included some nice little thing that effectively gave more power to one part of the government (I can't recall which, honestly).
People are celebrating the fact Brexit is going on while ignoring that part. Whether it's out of ignorance or that they just don't want to pay attention to it is a mystery to me.
I made a dry legalese rumination on this disagreeing that it's a big arse power grab

Meanwhile, water is wet. More news at 11.

That Russia's suffering major voting fraud's not new in any way. There's just no way to stop it, bar invading the place to force actual votes to happen. I still recall when a place had 110% turnout, or around that number.
inb4 americans hacked russia's elections

martinuzz

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #6667 on: September 14, 2017, 03:50:05 am »

70 years after Mussolini was lynched, and strung up upside down over a square in Naples, a new law has been passed in Italy's parliament that forbids any and all forms of nazi propaganda.
Football club S.S. Lazio will no longer be allowed to make Hitler salutes (called Roman salute in Italy) during matches, lighters and other paraphernalia with Mussolini's face will no longer be legal, and any statues and monuments will have to have their text plaques altered if they only read 'DUX' or 'DUCE', to include condemnation.
Breaking the new law will get you up to 4 years in prison.

There was already a law in place that forbade any action directly promoting the re-rise of Mussolini's party, but in practice this was a void law that did not apply to Mussolini lighters, Hitler T-shirts, or Roman salutes.

The Italian government says this new law is not meant to restrict personal freedoms, but that it is deemed absolutely nescessary to put a brake on the return of neo-fascist sentiments, and the return of extreme-right ideology.

The law does not come in time to prevent the planned 'March of the Patriots', organised by the reactionary neofascist party 'Forza Nuova' from making Hitler salutes.
It still needs to pass senate and that will not happen in time for that. The March is planned on 28th of oktober, when it is exactly 95 years ago that Mussolini and his blackshirts marched to Rome and overthrew the government.
According to Forza Nuova, the March is "nescessary protest against the violence and the raping by migrants that are plundering our country".
https://www.volkskrant.nl/buitenland/waarom-italie-fascistische-aanstekers-en-koelkastmagneten-nu-pas-echt-verbiedt~a4516486/
« Last Edit: September 14, 2017, 03:52:33 am by martinuzz »
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Friendly and polite reminder for optimists: Hope is a finite resource

We can ­disagree and still love each other, ­unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist - James Baldwin

http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=73719.msg1830479#msg1830479

Paxiecrunchle

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #6668 on: September 14, 2017, 03:56:13 am »

So in other words, world war 2 taught people nothing?

Antioch

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #6669 on: September 14, 2017, 04:16:34 am »

So in other words, world war 2 taught people nothing?

Denying what actually happened is very popular among those people.
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scriver

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #6670 on: September 14, 2017, 05:05:45 am »

In Sweden a "Roman salute/hail" is something completely different than a Nazi hail (a heil hail) which involves having the arm in a 90 degree bend. I mean I guess technically you could call it a lazy heil hail and now that I think about it you see Nazis doing that kind of hail in ww2 movies but I hadn't associated it with fascism or Nazism at all.

What's the deal with DUX and DUCE though?
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andrea

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #6671 on: September 14, 2017, 05:10:43 am »

Dux and Duce come from latin indicating somebody who leads, and basically the only person after the roman empire who used those was Mussolini himself. As a result, the Duce is Mussolini and the use of the word is in general a reference to fascism.

I am not sure how I feel about this... on one hand I don't like fascists much, but this is a very extreme piece of legislation that I am not sure I can agree with. It doesn't help that it is also going to hit a lot of unrelated stuff.

scriver

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #6672 on: September 14, 2017, 06:21:56 am »

Oh, I misrember-mistook duce and doge because of duke. Probably related words all three I guess but a mistake nonetheless. I guess it's the Italian version of fuhrer, then? If my guesswork translation is right then führer means leader as well.

Hey Germans and dutches, is fuhrer still used for leader in your languages? In Swedish we mostly use our cognate to leader - "ledare" - rather than our cognate to fuhrer - "förare" - to describe somebody who leads people. "Förare" is still used in some cases though, the main one I can think of off-hand is car/truck driver.
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martinuzz

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #6673 on: September 14, 2017, 08:09:54 am »

In Dutch führer was never used. The only words with the same linguistic root would be 'voorman/voerman (english: foreman)'. These are old words though, and rarely anyone uses those anymore in Dutch. There also is 'aanvoerder', the use of which is mostly restricted to sports.
Our normal word for leader is 'leider'.


EDIT: in other news, a(n) (in)famous piece of art has been stolen from Apeldoorn. The 'Tree Jewel', better known to the local population as the 'Tit-dick-ass' has been stolen from the Sprengenpark.
In 2008, the artwork was made by Dutch artist Maria Roosen, for the city of Apeldoorn.
The thieves got away with 60 kilos of stainless steel penisses, tits, and arses welded together.
It is suspected that the work was stolen for it's metal value. The thieves can sell the metal for a few hundred euros. This is nothing compared to the price paid by the city when they ordered the piece, for 45000 euros.

https://www.volkskrant.nl/beeldende-kunst/-kilo-s-roestvrijstalen-borstlulkont-geroofd-uit-park-apeldoorn-is-berucht-kunstwerk-armer~a4516519/
« Last Edit: September 14, 2017, 08:20:50 am by martinuzz »
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Friendly and polite reminder for optimists: Hope is a finite resource

We can ­disagree and still love each other, ­unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist - James Baldwin

http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=73719.msg1830479#msg1830479

TheDarkStar

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #6674 on: September 14, 2017, 11:30:39 am »

Führer is still used in German as a generic noun (iirc it gets used in the case of someone driving) but it would make people very very uncomfortable if you referred to an important political leader as a/the Führer. Of course, I haven't lived in Germany for a while and my language skill are a bit rusty.
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