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Author Topic: The friendly and polite Europe related terrible jokes thread  (Read 988118 times)

Madman198237

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #9630 on: February 20, 2019, 02:57:57 pm »

I would caution against the termination of one of the twins simply because of the uncertainty as to whether it is the evil twin or the other.
Just assess which one has a goatee beforehand. Should be simple
But what if the evil twin sticks the goatee on the good twin?
Terminate them both, just in case the evil is contagious. Alternatively, start long drawn-out story arc about how the evil twin fakes being a good twin until the good twin comes back and kills him, probably by accident while trying to save the evil twin.
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smjjames

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #9631 on: February 20, 2019, 10:54:58 pm »

Sounds like the UK forgot about the isle of Guernsey, which is going to end up with the same freedom of movement issues the UK is so worried about for NI.

I wonder how many other island dependencies that are part of the British Isles but not part of the UK are getting hit like this. This appears to be, from my perspective, a little known or considered aspect of Brexit, it's effects on the dependencies.
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martinuzz

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #9632 on: February 21, 2019, 05:50:45 am »

Yesterday, a British judge ruled the the EMA (European Medicines Agency) will still be bound to pay rent for their office in London, even when they have moved out to settle in the Netherlands.
The rental contract is set to run until 2039.
This will cost the EMA 560 million euros, unless they can find someone to sublease it to.
The EMA had claimed that the Brexit was an unforseen circumstance that would allow them to cancel the rent, but the judge ruled otherwise.
This ruling can have costly consequences for a lot of other companies with long term rental contracts that are leaving the UK because of the Brexit.
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Kagus

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #9633 on: February 27, 2019, 06:30:51 am »

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/middle-east/isis-syria-soldiers-kurds-ypg-turkey-britain-a8793081.html?amp

Rather interesting article touching upon something I hadn't even thought about before. I mean, one thing is the foreign radicals who go over to join up with ISIS, but I'd never really considered that westerners would go over to fight against them in a paramilitary capacity... Which I suppose is a fairly radical act itself.

It brings up some interesting questions as to the morality or rationality of such an approach.

It also begs the question: Are millenials killing the terrorism industry?

TD1

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #9634 on: February 27, 2019, 08:11:21 am »

Just stick the fem-libs on them. They're not much in a fight, but they make up for it in zeal and numbers.
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Criptfeind

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #9635 on: February 27, 2019, 08:31:35 am »

Yesterday, a British judge ruled the the EMA (European Medicines Agency) will still be bound to pay rent for their office in London, even when they have moved out to settle in the Netherlands.
The rental contract is set to run until 2039.
This will cost the EMA 560 million euros, unless they can find someone to sublease it to.
The EMA had claimed that the Brexit was an unforseen circumstance that would allow them to cancel the rent, but the judge ruled otherwise.
This ruling can have costly consequences for a lot of other companies with long term rental contracts that are leaving the UK because of the Brexit.

lol just move out and don't pay. Once Brexit happens the UK rent collectors won't be able to go over the border. You can just stand on the French edge of the chunnel and  jeer at them.
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TD1

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #9636 on: February 27, 2019, 09:12:01 am »

I'm not sure whether you meant to say Tunnel or Channel, or whether it was an intentional amalgamation of the two - i.e., 'stand on the French side of the Tunnel, which is under the Channel."

:P
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Kagus

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #9637 on: February 27, 2019, 09:13:00 am »

It's the chunder tunnel.

smjjames

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #9638 on: February 27, 2019, 11:12:56 am »

Eh? Hasn't it been called the 'chunnel' from almost the start?
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TD1

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #9639 on: February 27, 2019, 12:13:29 pm »

*Shrug*
First I've heard of it, but it's not as if I'm anywhere nearby. The UK is dark and full of terrors.
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Criptfeind

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #9640 on: February 27, 2019, 04:03:04 pm »

I've always heard it colloquially called the chunnel, and and google seems to know what you mean if you write in chunnel. But on the other hand I'm also very far from the UK. So no idea if the people that actually use it call it that.
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Culise

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #9641 on: February 28, 2019, 12:53:17 am »

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/middle-east/isis-syria-soldiers-kurds-ypg-turkey-britain-a8793081.html?amp

Rather interesting article touching upon something I hadn't even thought about before. I mean, one thing is the foreign radicals who go over to join up with ISIS, but I'd never really considered that westerners would go over to fight against them in a paramilitary capacity... Which I suppose is a fairly radical act itself.

It brings up some interesting questions as to the morality or rationality of such an approach.

It also begs the question: Are millenials killing the terrorism industry?
There was an interesting story recently regarding this matter, though it's not technically EU.  One such Swiss fighter was charged with violating Swiss law by fighting for a foreign military; the Pontifical Swiss Guard aside, Swiss mercenaries have been out of sorts since the 19th century.  A fine and suspended sentence is a rather typical if mild punishment for violation of this law.
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smjjames

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #9642 on: February 28, 2019, 03:28:31 am »

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/middle-east/isis-syria-soldiers-kurds-ypg-turkey-britain-a8793081.html?amp

Rather interesting article touching upon something I hadn't even thought about before. I mean, one thing is the foreign radicals who go over to join up with ISIS, but I'd never really considered that westerners would go over to fight against them in a paramilitary capacity... Which I suppose is a fairly radical act itself.

It brings up some interesting questions as to the morality or rationality of such an approach.

It also begs the question: Are millenials killing the terrorism industry?
There was an interesting story recently regarding this matter, though it's not technically EU.  One such Swiss fighter was charged with violating Swiss law by fighting for a foreign military; the Pontifical Swiss Guard aside, Swiss mercenaries have been out of sorts since the 19th century.  A fine and suspended sentence is a rather typical if mild punishment for violation of this law.

Theres quite a difference between a Swiss soldier fighting for an allied country vs joining a terrorist group.

A thought though, if Europe ever does do a consolidated Pan-European army/military, how will the Swiss reconcile that law with a Pan-European army? I get that they have a policy of neutrality (or at least the appearance of being neutral, if not True Neutral in actuality (yes, I decided to throw that DnD joke in there)), but I dont think they want to be completely excluded from anything Pan-European, that'd be like, I dunno, Nebraska being an independent state, it'd be a hole in the middle of the continent. That's just my perspective as an American anyway.

edit: Also, is the fine based on 19th century currency? Maybe it hit harder back then.
« Last Edit: February 28, 2019, 03:40:30 am by smjjames »
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ChairmanPoo

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #9643 on: February 28, 2019, 04:30:08 am »

The Swiss are not part of the EU
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Kagus

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #9644 on: February 28, 2019, 04:38:11 am »

Theres quite a difference between a Swiss soldier fighting for an allied country vs joining a terrorist group.
But therein lies the rub, doesn't it? Does the SDF or YPG actually count as a terrorist group? Does that definition spread to all paramilitary groups? If a civilian owns a gun and fires on a hostile paramilitary, does that make him a terrorist? Or only once his buddies join in to help? Maybe you need a silly acronym to really qualify, I don't know.

There's a little snippet that's linked to from the Swiss dude article, and it mentions a man who was tried for doing the same thing; joining up with the YPG and fighting alongside them. The trickiness comes from the UK supporting the YPG and having sent them resources in an official capacity. If you then condemn someone who aided them as having "assisted a terrorist organization", then you kinda shoot yourself in the foot.


I mean, there are definitely very real issues with having people join up with random paramilitaries. ISIS is a great example of that; I'm sure the foreign nationals who joined IS all felt really vindicated for "helping the good guys". Armed forces of that sort are by definition less controlled and have fewer checks and balances, and that's usually a bad mix with the kind of power that lethal weaponry provides.

But from a practical point of view... Are the national militaries really that much better? In theory they should be, because they're supposed to have the intel from an established and trained system, plus a very large and very public organization that is to be held accountable for any breaches in international agreements its armed forces commit. But the actual effectiveness of those organs and how much they apply to the battlefield are sometimes a little sketchy, and then there's the question of whether or not they're doing enough. After all, inaction isn't a war crime; so it's generally "safe" to hang back and not do anything while others get slaughtered, displaced, or tortured.


It's a non-trivial ethical dilemma, and that makes me want to poke it with sticks.
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