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Author Topic: The friendly and polite Europe related terrible jokes thread  (Read 975380 times)

ChairmanPoo

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #9705 on: March 14, 2019, 02:33:30 pm »

Fucking dumbass rich people, its literally just ice. You can put tap water in the freezer and get the exact same thing with exponentially less personal cost, waste of fuel, and environmental destruction.
No no no, you see...

1: It's pretty
"This piece is 1000 years old, and it has an exquisite structure of air bubbles trapped inside it."
-Svaice Founder Geir Ludvik Olsen, showing off a test chunk

2: It's more tastelier
"Europe uses chlorinated water to make ice cubes, which ruins the flavor of the water and thereby also ruins the flavor of whatever you use those ice cubes for."
-From the official website's "Controversy/Facts" section

3: It's soundery niceable
"When you put it in a drink, you can hear the popping. You can actually hear the cracks forming!"
-Geir Olsen, being enthusiastic

Emphasis mine.
Reminds me of the raw water fad in the US and is probably at least just as unhealthy.

I say "probably" because of the 1000 years mark. I kind of wonder if you can get the black plague from drinking unsanitized ancient ice. Grandfather Nurgle must be rolling on the floor laughing.
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smjjames

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #9706 on: March 14, 2019, 02:58:25 pm »

Second ref vote got shot down, probably increasing the likelihood an extension request is rejected. What seems to be the current options for UK: No deal in the face of yesterday's vote, general election and pray the EU grants an extension for it, revoking A50, accept whatever deal the EU feels like giving at the last minute. The clusterfuck continues to fuck clusterly.

The motion for the extension passed by over 200 votes, but the EU still has to approve it. Also, from this Vox article:

Quote
"May has said that she would ask the EU for “a short limited technical extension,” until June 30, if Parliament approved her Brexit deal on March 20. This means she would try to pass her plan a third time. If her deal were to pass, the delay would simply provide the UK Parliament more time to pass the legislation to put the Brexit deal into law.

But, May warned, if Parliament doesn’t want to accept her deal a third time and doesn’t want to leave without a plan in place, then it’s possible any delay will have to be a long one, beyond the end of June.

Isn't an extension for 'just more time' exactly the kind of limbo that the EU wanted to avoid with article 50? If this is the best that they can get after at least a year (technically they had 2 1/2, but wasted a good chunk of it with a snap election), I don't see how giving more time would help things.

edit: Apparently May didn't even want the extension....
« Last Edit: March 14, 2019, 03:18:28 pm by smjjames »
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scriver

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #9707 on: March 14, 2019, 04:09:00 pm »

Fucking dumbass rich people, its literally just ice. You can put tap water in the freezer and get the exact same thing with exponentially less personal cost, waste of fuel, and environmental destruction.

It's not just black ice
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Sergarr

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #9708 on: March 14, 2019, 04:31:11 pm »

Wow I didn't think the British government could've found a way to embarrass themselves even more than they already did by allowed the Brexit referendum to actually go through, but begging the EU to move the deadline and keep them in just a teeny bit longer so that they can actually get their shit together and decide on a Brexit plan is just... it's really hard to put into words just how much of an epic failure that is.

They've had two years. Two. Fucking. Years. To plan this stuff well in advance. Did they really think that they could just simply bully the EU into literally giving them everything they want on demand?!
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._.

smjjames

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #9709 on: March 14, 2019, 04:47:50 pm »

Not to mention that Theresa May also wasted about half of that time trying to increase her majority with a snap election.

I don't see how they could get any better deal than the current one, especially if this is all they could get after a year. While it might not be workable treaty-wise, it seems like it would be better to make the Irish border stuff a separate issue from everything else so that it's not under so much pressure from everything else. AFAIK, the Irish border is the ONLY thing that's left unagreed-on, other than maybe minor details that can be hashed out as needed.
« Last Edit: March 14, 2019, 04:50:08 pm by smjjames »
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Culise

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #9711 on: March 14, 2019, 06:46:00 pm »

EDIT: Ah, this is the EU thread and not AmeriPol. Not the place to discuss the DoEd's centralization or lack therein.
« Last Edit: March 14, 2019, 07:35:24 pm by Culise »
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Loud Whispers

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #9712 on: March 14, 2019, 11:11:15 pm »

I share the earth with fools

also

Quote
“The proposed venture would have people cherishing the aesthetic of ice,” Box says. “The way even small pieces of glacier ice floats in a glass resemble identically the shape and form of icebergs; that fractal geometry of nature floating in your whisky glass is aesthetically far more pleasing than artificial ice.”
Who the fuck are these people

Also in a minor note, Brexit is being procrastinated by May again, exactly as expected. Never ending extensions, that just go on and on

RedKing

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #9713 on: March 15, 2019, 01:35:19 pm »

Also in a minor note, Brexit is being procrastinated by May again, exactly as expected. Never ending extensions, that just go on and on
Can't walk the plank if you keep building a longer plank
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TD1

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #9714 on: March 15, 2019, 01:55:41 pm »

Can't take the exit until you stop going 'round the roundabout.
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hector13

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #9715 on: March 15, 2019, 08:16:22 pm »

Well, she’s not finished trying to flog her dead horse yet; they’re scheduled to vote on it again on Wednesday.

Still bemused how they still have a government, presumably shit will go down after Wednesday or the 29th.
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TD1

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #9716 on: March 16, 2019, 12:01:31 am »

Would I advocate riots?

.....

I would advocate riots.
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scriver

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #9717 on: March 16, 2019, 06:47:05 am »

Do I predict a Kaiser Chiefs? I predict a Kaiser Chiefs.
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Kagus

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #9718 on: March 16, 2019, 07:01:07 am »

Nationless, directionless, the British nomad hordes would squabble with each other over territory disputes and the shrinking natural resource of wild Freddos.

Then, a passionate and charismatic leader emerged... Uniting the tribes who would listen and crushing those who would not, he rallied the scattered Britons and assembled them under a new banner, a new nation which would challenge the world.


And thus began the immortal legacy of Genghis Chav.

TD1

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #9719 on: March 16, 2019, 07:17:34 am »

Mate I think you just described the Avatar.
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