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[LordPorkins]

I have decided to create a suggestion story thread, telling the tale of various dwarves and how they lived/died. This is roughly based off a terrible bunch of mods i created early on in my DF journey. While the order of events, and the majority of characters, are fictitious, i will point out a few features in my modattempt/disaster that will probably end up in the story at some point or another. Think of it as the type of things any dwarf would know in universe. These include thefollowing:

Aged Booze: Alcohol gets better the longer it sits

Ruined ruins: structures degrade if you dont use them enough

Immigrants can also arrive randomly

There are also 3 things that will make an appearance: A new mineral, a change to Strange moods, and a few changes of creature abilities.
Ooh, and also a brand new race.

I will choose to follow whoevers idea seems most interesting, unless 3+ other people want to go a different route

This is the tale, a tale of how we all died. Enjoy!

[LordPorkins]

Dwarves:
Iva Barkly- Resident farmer/brewer. Extreme alcohol skill
Drac Norshkabold- Twin of Tor. Somewhat competent at axe fighting
Tor Norshkabold- Twin of Drac, somewhat competent at sword fighting
Kanesh Kanter- Freakishly strong & tall. He almost reaches 3.5 feet! Decent wrestler and miner
Norris Chuckleston- Miner and Expedition leader. Enjoys beards.
Scrubs Mcgee- Physical embodiment of lucky n00bs. Ridiculously good at dodging
One guy who spawned midair and was decapitated by the fall (this actually happened to me)
The Overseer: that one dwarf who never shows up on any carvings for some reason





A solitary mountain, already populated with the ruins of a civilization long ago fallen. It has seen many travelers in its millennia, and so pays no attention to the rickety cart coming towards it along the ancient, overgrown path. It feels not the boot-treads of the seven, but it knows their fate. It knows that they will succumb to it, yes, all things belong to the mountain. And the mountain always gets its way.

-"The Mark of Stone" by Urist McBookkeeper

This is an attempt at organizing the various documents, journals and pamphlets that chronicle the history of the 4th reclamation attempt of Fort BoozeWeiser

[LordPorkins]

Reserved

[LordPorkins]

Post something random here to let me know that i dont have to keep begging people to read it.

[TheBiggerFish]

something random here to let me know that i dont have to keep begging people to read it.

As much as I cringe, this sounds like there may be !!FUN!! in store.

[Sanctume]

Norris Chuckleston- Miner and Expedition leader. Enjoys beards.

The kick is strong.

[LordPorkins]

Yup too both answers. First chapters start soon.

[LordPorkins]

Overseers Log

1st Granite

Drac and Tor, the twin warriors, grab the wooden swords and shields they brought along with them. This is going to be a different expedition. The foremost goal will be to reclaim the ancient trade depot that juts from the side of the mount, the only evidence of the twisting tunnels and halls that compose the interior of the mountain. Norris , the main Miner and Expedition Leader will most likely accompany them. For now, the eager fighters mill about, impatiently scratching in the dirt with the tips of their swords. The rest go off to collect resources. This expedition has officially begun. We are so freakin doomed

23rd Granite

A few small huts have been hastily erected, and a rudimentary wall has been constructed around the village. 4 more immigrants have arrived, and fortunately two of them have some slight skill in the arts of combat. The scouting party's numbers have reached a total of four, five if we decide to include Norris in their ranks. So far he has shown himself fairly competent at fighting, having engaged in combat with a sponge for over 3 days before returning to his bed. The remaining 6 have been doing most of the real work, while the members of the militia attempted to become more experienced by hurling themselves at nearby wildlife. The exception here would be Norris, who spent his hours mining (except the aforementioned sponge incident) nearly the entire time, pausing only to drink and once to brain a nearby kobold. They elected to depart into the depot at dawn tomorrow. One of the immigrants was in only known as “The other guy.” We should probably send him on missions.

[LordPorkins]

SCOUTING REPORT
Combat Log: N/A
Total casualties: 0
Points of Interest (POI): Trading depot, caravan remains
Recommended Course of Action (RCA): Further Exploration
Loot Aquired: Some tools.


Journal of Norris

We made our first investigation into the ruins. It was unremarkable, in most aspects. We discovered the rotting framework of a caravan, but unfortunately our search discovered only a few copper tools and a spear. At the very least we now have some decent weapons. Though I'm never deviating from the ancient art of Pick-Jitsu. I do not look forward to hauling all this junk to whatever inconvenient spot the Overseer designated.


Overseers Log

1rst Slate

I have decided to send another party into the ruins. This time only three men will go, as I need Drac to help with eliminating the sponge, and Barkly is most likely passed out drunk somewhere. I might need to start rationing his ale intake.

[JumpingJack]

I am now doomed to read Norris' writings in Chuck Norris' voice. The Overseer is Morgan Freeman for some reason. Those mods of yours certainly sound interesting, especially the aged booze. PTW.

[LordPorkins]

SCOUTING REPORT
Combat Log: N/A
Total Casualties: 3 minorly wounded
POI: A freakin ridiculous amount of traps
RCA: Send Useless Immigrant Cannon Fodder
Loot Aquired: Nothing.

3rd Slate

Ok. We knew this was going to happen eventually. Turns out that the hallway going from the depot is also the "Bottleneck". Tor's report was next to useless it was so vague, but by talking with Kanesh I figured out what had happened. Apparently, the dwarves walked about halfway into the corridor before a ton of stones fell from the ceiling. After Tor's noggin got a lump the size of a Plump Helmet, they attempted to go forward, but only found that pretty much the entirety of the corridor was lined with spike traps. They then beat a hasty retreat, but not before Kanesh and the other dwarf got some decent sized scratches on them. Tor has been wandering aimlessly since then, and I fear that stone might have knocked a few screws loose. I've ordered all members of the party to take a day or two off to recover. 

6th Slate

Ok, the warehouse expansion has finished, and Kanesh and OtherGuy have finished resting. Ive decided that Tor is not going anywhere for a while. Now, when I went to the hospital/deathpit and questioned Kanesh, he said right before the stones fell he spotted a lever farther down the passage. That probably deactivates them. He also said that the lever was PAST the traps. So I need some suicidal idiot to go and... Wait... What's that noise?

[Gwolfski]

solution: obtain pick. mine around the traps!

[Javarock]

Have you considered uploading images along with the story?

[LordPorkins]

((I can't draw particularly well, if anyone else wants to team up and do a partnership that would be awesome.Anyway…))


Journal of Norris

All I remember was someone punching me and waking up with my head in a barrel. I have no idea what happened, but it must've been fun.

Overseers Log

7th Slate

So apparently, Norris drank all the booze in the immediate vicinity, and decided to investigate the ruins to look for more. He managed to dodge every trap, then found a barrel of 15 year old Plump-Helmet Juice and started chugging. Eventually he pulled the lever. At least, I think that happened. I'm sending a Drac and Kanesh to get him out. I'm not sure whether to reward the drunk idiot or punish him. Then again, i can't really blame him. Sobriety does terrible things to a dwarf. I'll just force him to go on the next mission.

Note: We found a ruined hut on the other side of the mount. There's some basic wooden goods as well as the bones of a dwarf. Looks like this guy was the last one. Poor bugger. Unnervingly enough, his hut contained a single lever that was in the down position, and almost nothing else. I can only assume this has something to do with the fortresses collapse. There was also a wooden door at the back of the hut, but even Kanesh’s mighty strength was unable to make it budge. I am considering attempting to burn down the hut, but knowing this place that will cause the mountain to explode or something.

P.S. Im also stocking some emergency booze rations there just incase Norris decides to get stewed anytime soon. Just because he has a stronger addiction than most doesn't mean we don't enjoy getting wasted as well.

SCOUTING REPORT
Combat Log: We had to punch Norris to get him to leave the booze
Total Casualties: One Barrel of Finely Aged Plump-Ale
POI: Main hall, 3 alternate passageways, two leading downward. Switch of Trappy Death, Fireplace, skeleton of a dog(?)
Loot Aquired (LA) : 1 (Empty) Barrel, 3 Chairs, a Table, some Bones.
RCA: Immediate Detoxing of Norris, Establishing of Outpost in ruins.

[LordPorkins]

9th Slate

Turns out only one of the passageways we found are viable for exploration. One leads to the kitchens, and something big died in there, causing miasma so thick im contemplating attempting to distill it. We really cant deal with a bunch of gibbering, armed warriors right now so im just gonna wait this one out. It'll rot away eventually. I think. To be honest this place doesnt appear to follow much of conventional logic. Till then im making that area Forbidden. I just hope Norris doesn't remember booze is usually kept near the kitchens.

 The other passageway has collapsed in on itself, and digging through might just cause even more instability. I plan on tunneling around it from the kitchens once the air freshens up. However, the third passageway is perfectly clear and stable (i hope.) Expeditions will begin tomorrow

In other news, three new immigrants moved in. I've assigned them to hunting and butchering. We have also struck a large vein of iron and are currently in the process of distributing armor and weapons to our militia. Ive decided to name our first scouting party the "Flying Boots." We are putting a few basic meals and some brewskis inside the main hall, in the hopes of setting up a military checkpoint. We haven't actually found anything hostile yet, but some scouts have reported strange thumping coming from the ceiling. Armok help that poor creature if it decides to make trouble. The F.B.s 'll show them what's what!