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[Truean]

I think we need to just focus on helping OP.

[Robot Parade Leader]

Yelled and screamed at by customer today. They bought the wrong thing and said I steered them wrong. Never seen them before in my life. Didn't matter, cause I got chewed out.

Tried to stick to script and just direct them to the right information. Didn't wanna hear that for anything. Kept demanding somebody pay for the part for them. Not happening. Doesn't matter anyhow, because that's never happened and never gonna. Of course, they're gonna bitch some more.

This goes on for 30 minutes and I don't get get the stuff done that I'm supposed to, because the customer won't let me go or stop bitching. Eventually they leave after screaming more. Supervisor doesn't want to hear it, and I'm getting a little bit complained to about not getting things done. Of course.

I did the whole "go into your own head" bit and it helped, but damn.

[Truean]

.

[Robot Parade Leader]

I was doing much better.

Got blamed again at work when it clearly wasn't my fault. A higher up backed me, but basically said that there wasn't much I could do, about the person who was being difficult to me.

I just want to not care. I'm not invested in the outcome in the sense that I'll do pretty much whatever the boss says that I'm allowed to. We're regulated, and it isn't my fault. I didn't pass these laws or whatever and I don't even agree with some of them. Trying to argue they're impractical doesn't really do too much because I'm still screwed if we were ever caught breaking them.

Ultimately, someone is taking out more of their frustrations on me, worse yet is the old "I'm not frustrated with you." Maybe, but that person is yelling and I'm the only one in the room, so.... if not yelling at me then who?

Other than sounding a little whiney to my boss (because i had to listen to the person who was in the wrong whine for 2 hours instead of getting things done) I think I'm ok, but the attitude is there. This person is basically not able to be fired right now. He thinks I'm his replacement and I'm actually scared he might be right, cause I'm not sure I want that job. Whole situation is just aahhhhhhh.

[DFNewb]

I read the op only but part of the art of conversation is being able to go away from topics you don't want to talk about. There are different ways to do this, such as lying.

Go see how other people you know do it and try to learn...

[Robot Parade Leader]

I guess I'm trying to figure out those "different ways" but I'm not so keen on lying. I mean there's like "white lies" (Sure kid, you'll grow up to be a football player after you beat the terminal cancer), but that's different.

One of the things killing me right now is people asking what I think are leading questions.

Basically, this goes back to some of the stuff we were talking about before where people are unreasonable and a bit delusional.

"So that means _____, right?"

NOOOOOOOOOoo. I just said the exact opposite and the person doesn't wanna listen at all. They clearly are ignoring the things I'm telling them, because they want the things they want to be true. They also want me to confirm what they think, even when it's wrong and they should know it's wrong because they were just told they are wrong. They were told the truth and that truth isn't something they want to hear.

I'm starting to recognize it for what it is: emotional manipulation. They want me to feel like a jerk for not being agreeable, or for being argumentative. I'm not being argumentative; I'm telling the truth. There are four lights.

Yet these insistent jerks keep insisting. Sometimes I just want to scream, "SHUT THE HELL UP." There are times I don't want to care about "free speech" or whatever. I'd favor "smarter speech," or at least not "totally dumb completely double speak speech." Often when I don't respond in perfect agreement and perfect tone, they say things like "I'm just saying." No duh. I'm hiding the fact that I'm astonished you're saying it after being told the exact opposite and expecting words to magically change reality. If the item isn't on sale, then it isn't on sale and there is absolutely nothing the poor clerk behind the counter can do about it. If people would think for 30 seconds and actually were decent they'd realize they are being totally unreasonable and irrational. What? Is the clerk going to just give the item to them for less than the price? They'd get fired, but the jerk customer doesn't care. Just insistently demand somebody loose their food, shelter, and life, because you'd rather pay less for something. Some of the slightly decent individuals might state, "That's not what I'm saying." YES IT IS. That is what would happen; can't say that though. Go ahead, ruin the life of some poor kid trying to hold down a retail job so you can brag what a great deal you got for a day....

I honestly don't get how people can be that terrible. No one wants to do anything right anymore. Did they ever, and if not, isn't that depressing.

[DFNewb]

To robot parade leader, my opinion on this might be unique but


Guys who do that sort of thing to me IRL: cut off from my life

Girls who do that: stand my ground / say no it means X. If they want to stick around they will regardless.


So if you watch politics and even talk shows where the host and guest disagree, you can see examples of people paid to do this (in a way). Sometimes they just pretend the question was something else and answer the question they wanted to, other times they answer in very meaningless terms they don't actually mean anything even if said publicly.

I guess verbal IQ plays a part but it's definitely learnable, most these people are not naturals at it.

[Robot Parade Leader]

Hey DFNewb. I don't really understand some of the things you're saying, but I guess I might like to. I feel pressured to give certain responses idiots should know I can't give. They kinda do know I can't give the responses they want but they're going to make my life hell anyhow.

And I've moved from complaining about customers to complaining about co workers. I'm still not sure exactly how this happened.

I have no authority at my job. I got responsibility thrown at me, because I was the only one who could do it. Doesn't mean I get paid any better, because I don't. Now I have stupid co workers bitching at me and I'm not sure if they're worse or the customers or the bosses. How did I get in this position anyhow? I have no ability to do anything about anything, but people are complaining to me as if I did. They know there are certain rules in place that I didn't make and I just can't do shit about them, but they're gonna complain and make my life miserable.

Customers come and go but co workers aren't going anywhere and damn it that kinda sucks. I don't want them to go anywhere. I want them to leave me alone.

Are Truean and Tiruin still around anywhere? Just asking.

[BlackHeartKabal]

Hey DFNewb. I don't really understand some of the things you're saying, but I guess I might like to. I feel pressured to give certain responses idiots should know I can't give. They kinda do know I can't give the responses they want but they're going to make my life hell anyhow.

And I've moved from complaining about customers to complaining about co workers. I'm still not sure exactly how this happened.

I have no authority at my job. I got responsibility thrown at me, because I was the only one who could do it. Doesn't mean I get paid any better, because I don't. Now I have stupid co workers bitching at me and I'm not sure if they're worse or the customers or the bosses. How did I get in this position anyhow? I have no ability to do anything about anything, but people are complaining to me as if I did. They know there are certain rules in place that I didn't make and I just can't do shit about them, but they're gonna complain and make my life miserable.

Customers come and go but co workers aren't going anywhere and damn it that kinda sucks. I don't want them to go anywhere. I want them to leave me alone.

Are Truean and Tiruin still around anywhere? Just asking.

Rough, man. I'm sorry you're dealing with this. Tell me what kind of response you want from me and I'll oblige. If you want compassion, or sternness, or honesty, or anything else.
Truean and Tiruin aren't around, I think.
I know how all the pressure feels when you're trying your best and can't give up. These are my off hours and I might sleep after but if you just feel like you wanna vent or cry on my shoulder, hit up my PM box, and I'll respond tomorrow.
Long as we aren't giving up down here, don't give up upthere, man. I'm rooting for you.

[Tiruin]

Are Truean and Tiruin still around anywhere? Just asking.

We're here. Truean is busy busy with her life, and I'm busy with Masters in Psych and other matters
If you've anything to ask or inquire, you can PM us freely (or as I can't speak for Truean, my inbox is open ), but foremost I would note the importance of connections--friends or otherwise present there, acting as your primary supports; people you can speak to, and especially glean reflective advise. In communication, there is less of 'one party is always in the wrong' when trouble breaks out, as one's own voice serves as a message to be received or responded to, but issues in between can also mess up how messages are received that may make them feel like something threatening or hurtful when they're not meant to be. Context and understanding the other person is pretty much a very important variable there.

Otherwise, one's OWN interpretative/reasoning process is something to also reflect on, as that is what you can do even without anyone else around you in mulling over an event in the past, or predictably in the future.

[...]I just said the exact opposite and the person doesn't wanna listen at all. They clearly are ignoring the things I'm telling them, because they want the things they want to be true. They also want me to confirm what they think, even when it's wrong and they should know it's wrong because they were just told they are wrong. They were told the truth and that truth isn't something they want to hear.

I'm starting to recognize it for what it is: emotional manipulation.[...]

I'm not aiming to argue on the context--but to note adjustment of meaning. I don't know the local culture there or how people act when they're passively suggesting something, but in the long-run of life I can note how important being aware of your own reasoning and interpretation-of-others'-meaning is invariably going to affect how you feel right after. The process is something you can read on, as I recall many books or literature materials online exist (or your local library ), but also talking it over (in a general sense without names or such, before any specifics for further detail) with friends or people trusted who you know can give insight helps.
It's also when conclusions are drawn and made which can interrupt further depth of insight because they act as points of reference of how that one saying, event, or happening was interpreted.
How would it appear from their perspective though?

So again, I'm not adding onto how to exactly interpret what had occurred (with my messy wording and all)--you're the best person to define that; I'm merely giving my views :O But what I hear about corporate culture is that you also have management and other authorities/roles that you can ask and inquire with, to speak about issues that bother you. Sources of feedback help! And these can come from your supervisors as well :O 360 degree feedback?
And wishing y'all well! :3

[Trapezohedron]

I see you seem to be working in retail. Scum like these are common, and somehow even people outside from the retail scene are involved.

Word of advice? Shrug it off. These people are not people. These people are imbeciles, incapable of coherent thought. I worked call centers for quite a while and had to eat people like these. "Why are you guys still in business." they say. I ask how I can help, but they are being belligerent. I understand that they might have experienced some wrong with the company, but if they're actively trying to screw you over, then provide the bare minimum help you can get away with without compromising your job.

Unfortunate however, that management won't likely back you up because of retarded policies in place that basically allow customers to harm you more than you could ever even hope to touch them at any point at work (not that you would), but some malicious compliance should help retain your sanity.

But you'll lose your soul. Just shrug it off; it's not you they're talking to. It's you as the employee. And for whoever goddamn cares, these imbeciles do not see employees as human. So why don't you return the favor and just do what you can to get rid of them as fast as you can without them causing so much of a fuss, and if you can get away with a little malicious compliance, by all means. Don't endanger your job though; these customers are not worth the trouble.

Especially if they're asking you to bypass something you can't bypass per policy. If anything, just summon your manager immediately to deal with it. And if your manager has complaints, deal with it to the letter (and perhaps spirit of tone) per your manager.

If you think you can't get away with mischief, I always indulge myself in cathartic reading of the aforementioned links. Sometimes they aren't too cathartic however.

[dragdeler]

Privately when people act emotionally, I am also tempted to scream back; but overall I try to compensate that with lucidity. They ask a closed question rhetorically? You answer yes or no right after the questionmark, before they have time continue their tirade. They insist on finishing their tought of train? You respond by being completly unreactive, suggesting physical attention, eventough mentally you're "singing" in your head until they finish. Right when they finish, another clear and concise answer, without a tone or anything.

As mentionned before, allocate attention appropriatly, tough personally I don't invest much because the tone oftentimes grants you clear hints as to when it's you cue. (I have a bit of a hearing problem periodically). See just as I'm writing this my father calls, he has suffered a dramatic headwound and isn't the same since. And just as I'm shaking my head, I missed my cue, causing him to interrupt my answer, which in return caused me to raise my voice, adopting a horrible patronizing tone. Life sucks cause it's mostly hard if you actually give a shit. So you can not even AFFORD to be emotional in fact. Just repeat what you know to be the best possible answer like a mantra, so you can undercut any shortcomings with instant foresight, competence or other form of superiority that helps to keep that stoicism stand like a flag pole.

Just so you know, professionnaly I'm the biggest underachiever ever, that's why I'm able to actually excel at my current job, so this is more of an "I feel you" thing than a real advice.

[Truean]

Please do not quote:

Eh, human coworkers or otherwise suck. Improperly equipped to deal with life/the real world, they lash out (unfairly as a rule).

Only human beings were a terrible enough species to invent office politics.

1.) Document: cover your ass.
a.) Do not document in computerized form, because IT is more likely than not reading your emails. Careful, "discovery" is not a good thing much of the time.
b.) Email is useful for creating a record, because email is for a long time and is timestamped proof that you sent something to someone. Use carefully.

2.) Again, mental control.... (see prior thread posts here).

3.) Professionalism: this is where you stick to a slightly different script.
a.) Focus on the job and fulfilling your role in it where possible.
b.) Avoid temptations to argue/bicker. (Good) Bosses hate this; it annoys bad ones too.

4.) Take indirect credit for it:
a.) If you've been placed in a position with responsibility but no power, then someone is taking credit for that task.
b.) If you get into a discussion with the higher up, gently and calmly work in the task, like when they ask what you're doing.
c.) It will show you're the one who actually did it without being so vulgar as to come right out with it.
d.) Realize that if you do this right, it's job security. (Are they going to can the person doing the thing nobody else can/wants to do?)

5.) Realize Coworkers are just repeat customers ("internal customers," but that's for another time perhaps).
a.) The same stupidity infecting humanity also affects your human coworkers. You just seem them more often, on a repeat basis.
b.) They are also in the ocean of emotions humanity is drowning in. Id.
c.) learn the formal and informal power dynamics in the deck of your workplace. Who controls the hearts, diamonds, cloves, and clubs.

Tred carefully, fantasize well when safe.

[Robot Parade Leader]

Thanks. I just don't understand how people operate.

We're supposed to do certain things. No one does them, except I do or try to. Now we're starting to get in trouble and the consequences of not doing crap are starting to catch up.
There's a substantial amount of money to be cut from the budget if we don't have certain things done. I politely tried to help someone do these things. You also have to document stuff, because of course you do. It's not hard stuff to do, but nobody has written crap down, or if they have, then I don't know of it. They haven't shown it.

This has gotten the higher ups attention. They're gonna miss that money if it goes. I'm sure people are going to try to throw me under the bus. The forms aren't that hard. I've been told it isn't my job to do them, even though I'd freaking do it if it meant we didn't loose all that money. I think the people who should've done them didn't and now we might be screwed.

So now I hear the higher ups like me but the local people hate me (they say they don't but they expressly think I'm not "working out"). Ok, I'm starting to think the locals are whatever. The higher ups are afraid of the regulations that mean we have to pay craptons out in fines.

Things are not ok, and somebody is going to get blamed here. I have been told by a trusted local worker that "you didn't screw anybody. You threw 'em a fuckin life preserver and they screwed themselves by not listening." I'm still new here and people don't seem to like me.

They want me gone because I'm not part of the good ole boys club with its corruption. Just by doing my job right, I'm making them look bad (NOT on purpose at all).

WTF

[Robot Parade Leader]

Odd little update, some of the higher ups have finally taken notice of one or two things now that I've given them pictures.
It's not my job/area, but I was kinda thrown into it in any case, because o god, nobody wants to answer for this junk.
I didn't even try to get anyone in trouble, because this junk was right out in the open for anybody to see. It woulda been seen, and soon.

Anyhow, it's now obvious that the higher ups were lied to by some people, but they aren't exactly sure what to do about it, because the people who lied might not be fireable.
They're union and of course I'm not. Go figure.

So now, new problem: I have people trying to sabotage me at work. So far it's not working but we'll have to see how that goes. My current boss likes me anyhow.
Meanwhile communications have broken down, because I suck at talking. I'm nice, quiet, don't bother people, that sorta thing.

It isn't like I'm hurting anybody. I've actually saved the place a lot of crap and work my butt off. I just don't belong to the good ole boy's club.