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Author Topic: Problems with stress and being upset from dealing with people. How do you?  (Read 73971 times)

Robot Parade Leader

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So basically the guy who is the number two for everything came and said we weren't as focused on numbers as we would be on quality and timeliness. We've been doing a lot of numbers, but it's more important that we get things out quicker even if we do less numbers. It's always been a trade off. One of the local authorities is not happy about this, and nobody knows how he will react to this. We also don't know what would happen if he ignored the number two guy and just went right on pressing.

It's a little nerve wracking. Also I have a new supervisor again. He seems fairly nice, and this is viewed as a step up for me.
I did not get the promotion though, or interviewed and old supervisor was surprised they didn't even interview me. O well. Everyone says there was a predetermined candidate and we'll just see who got it. I was asked to apply and did. Its been whispered that they just wanted more people to apply so that it didn't look so obvious they had someone in mind beforehand.

As long as I break even....
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Robot Parade Leader

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OK, so not getting promotion and don't care about it. I just wanna move on.
Seems I upset some people by applying too but no idea why.

I do not want to be seen as a threat to anybody.
Meh, I'm just keeping my head down and ignoring threats.
Head down, nose to grindstone, not trying to make anybody mad.
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Iduno

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OK, so not getting promotion and don't care about it. I just wanna move on.
Seems I upset some people by applying too but no idea why.

I do not want to be seen as a threat to anybody.
Meh, I'm just keeping my head down and ignoring threats.
Head down, nose to grindstone, not trying to make anybody mad.

Even I think you're fatalistic, and I'm broken as shit.

Not caring you got the promotion is good. Just make sure you don't burn yourself out trying to impress people who only care about how good they look (through using people up). Once you get worn out enough, you don't recover.
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Robot Parade Leader

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Fatalistic would be saying, "They'll fire me no matter what I do." I am not saying that. Doesn't fatalistic mean just saying everything is destined to happen, like fatalistic like fate?

I'm just trying to get through some weird situations. So far I've managed with a lot of help from T and Tiruin, and some other people. Still wish they'd show up more but I guess o well. Not a whole lot I can do about another person's refusal to post or whatever.

I don't know if this helps you at all, but I sure do hope it does. Hang in there. I was in some kinda dark places before. It's not all great but things are better than they were. I still have a ways to go but yeah.
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Robot Parade Leader

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Supervisor is backing me against people who are upset I did what he said. I did not tell him the whole story, but nicer result. He said I was working too much on being perfect and told me to relax. He said I was above average in numbers and would be ok for now. He told me who would largely determine my probation status and it is not angry coworkers. I am glad to hear he has  no problems with me.
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hector13

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Yeah, perfectionism is the nemesis of good enough.

Do you know why people are upset? I assume it’s something to do with you applying for a promotion.
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the way your fingertips plant meaningless soliloquies makes me think you are the true evil among us.

nenjin

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It's also likely that working hard or trying to be perfect challenges them to be better and do more, which they probably don't like. It's one thing when your boss tells you to do something. It's another when a coworker makes you look worse by example.
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Robot Parade Leader

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Re: Problems with stress and being upset from dealing with people. How do you?
« Reply #217 on: December 14, 2019, 02:29:09 pm »

I appreciate the advice. Been keeping my nose to the grindstone, or I would have been here more. I hope Tiruin and T are ok.

New supervisor has liked me over the past few months. There was one stupid incident he said I spent too much time on, but he has since informally said I was right....

He gave me really high formal performance evaluations on everything except numbers. He said he wanted to leave that high too but someone told him there was just no way. He and several others have repeatedly assured me numbers are low everywhere and not to worry about it. I am still leary about it, but I did get average on that score. Everything else is high and I have been told not to worry. I am still on probation, but I got a slight pay bump from the eval. Its a small raise but I can't be doing too bad if that's there.

I am being focused on quality and away from crappy coworkers, some of them basically can't be fired. Must be nice. Anyhow, unofficially I'm doing good and am relied upon. Bad, tenured co worker is getting talked to by our supervisor for phoning it in. We are trying a "reset" concerning that crap, because supervisor doesn't want to be seen as complainy and the problem. So this is another chance for coworker and we're just pushing past it while moving on. Whatever boss says.

If it were me in that, it would be my ass getting kicked. This other guy, who knows. He's upset and complains while phoning it in. I shut up and do as I'm told. No clue what's up there.

Supervisor has said coworker is mad at me for making him look bad just cause co worker doesn't put in the effort. So nenjin was right on that. I have no idea how to work through the stuff they gave us to do without lots of effort. Supervisor has called this workload we were assigned "a shit show."
« Last Edit: December 14, 2019, 02:33:21 pm by Robot Parade Leader »
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hector13

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Re: Problems with stress and being upset from dealing with people. How do you?
« Reply #218 on: December 15, 2019, 10:16:22 am »

In my experience, limited though it may be, evaluations aren’t necessarily objective. They’re expected to give you something to “work on” for the next evaluation. That may be the case here, but it does give you something to focus effort on if everything else is high.

Don’t get too worried about it. If you are indeed doing well in other areas, they won’t be too bothered if you’re average in something else. Indeed, they would be providing you with some help if they think it’s a genuine problem.

As for your co-worker that phones it in... that’s not your problem. He can be mad at you all he wants, it doesn’t have any bearing on your responsibilities.
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Look, we need to raise a psychopath who will murder God, we have no time to be spending on cooking.

the way your fingertips plant meaningless soliloquies makes me think you are the true evil among us.

Robot Parade Leader

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Re: Problems with stress and being upset from dealing with people. How do you?
« Reply #219 on: December 18, 2019, 12:52:32 pm »

I think (and have been informally told) that people understand there are tons of one time changes happening now. There is going to be disruption from that no matter what. Nobody wants to acknowledge it....

So really, I get the eval isn't objective, except the numbers we produce per week.... That's still BS because assignment vary widely in difficulty but are all counted the same. I've been told I'm doing great and that there are problems but I'm not one of them.

Actually T made a good point in email that I didn't think of. My coworker doesn't have legit bearing on my responsibility/responsibilities. But, my boss looks at it differently. My boss has a bunch of stuff to get done and only this team to do it with. So coworker gets the tasks he can do, and I get the harder ones I can do. Kinda sucks because coworker has been there much longer. T has a weird point though. Said something about how you guys are the tools your boss has to get stuff done with. Boss has to do something with us and coworker can't do much else. I can, but it feels unfair and exhausting.
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Iduno

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Re: Problems with stress and being upset from dealing with people. How do you?
« Reply #220 on: December 18, 2019, 05:04:27 pm »

I think (and have been informally told) that people understand there are tons of one time changes happening now. There is going to be disruption from that no matter what. Nobody wants to acknowledge it....

So really, I get the eval isn't objective, except the numbers we produce per week.... That's still BS because assignment vary widely in difficulty but are all counted the same. I've been told I'm doing great and that there are problems but I'm not one of them.

Actually T made a good point in email that I didn't think of. My coworker doesn't have legit bearing on my responsibility/responsibilities. But, my boss looks at it differently. My boss has a bunch of stuff to get done and only this team to do it with. So coworker gets the tasks he can do, and I get the harder ones I can do. Kinda sucks because coworker has been there much longer. T has a weird point though. Said something about how you guys are the tools your boss has to get stuff done with. Boss has to do something with us and coworker can't do much else. I can, but it feels unfair and exhausting.

In a meeting, we were talking about when we report our accomplishments. One of the new people asked as question, and I answered something to the effect that "we just count the number of things we did, even though the time required varies wildly." The agreement of 100% of my coworkers and boss felt good there, but probably less good than if that wasn't true.
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Robot Parade Leader

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Re: Problems with stress and being upset from dealing with people. How do you?
« Reply #221 on: December 19, 2019, 07:34:39 pm »

Yeah thats a problem. 15 things can be easy or hard or impossible. It is kinda a joke. Some get easy junk and others get hard stuff. I worked my way in over time overall by shutting up and getting crap done. So what happens is the people who can actually get shit done get the shit to do. Meanwhile the people who cant get shit done get nice stuff to do. I think the problem is it just all counts the same. That aint changing.

Its just rough getting the shit assignments and keeping it all together and motivated. At least in the background I get some props for doing shit right and being a help. Only problem is the number of things I do isn't so high cause they all suck, but nobody else wants it. My supervisor has written this. So at least theres that. Still, some days I get depressed about it, but I'm still not drinking anymore, so thats good.

I cant help but resent coworker being like that though. Its like, what did he expect me to do. Its not like I could phone it in just cause he did. He gets away with that but it just wouldn't fly if I tried.
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Robot Parade Leader

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Re: Problems with stress and being upset from dealing with people. How do you?
« Reply #222 on: January 11, 2020, 08:59:48 pm »

So, team coworker is getting teritorially pissy.
Supervisor is just tired and can't get rid of coworker.

Good news being I have a  good reason I am not infringing on coworker's definition of his turf....
Supervisor has chosen to view this as a good thing because coworker is now engaged....
Nope not really, he's just whining... also changing his story bepending on who he's talking to....

Its also not coworker's turf anyhow, but boss can't fire him.
Overall, boss and I have a good relationship and boss has said coworker is jealous/looking bad. Boss can relate.

I might be like, "He (coworker) is really doing this unproductive stuff? OK, I get it, but he did this before and I kind of feel sorry fir him if he's resorting to this..... ."

Then just keep focusing on the job and providing solutions.
T said if I just keep focused on things and if the powers that be are ok with it I'll be ok.

I kinda want her back here.
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hector13

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Re: Problems with stress and being upset from dealing with people. How do you?
« Reply #223 on: January 12, 2020, 12:01:35 am »

While other people are useful, y’all can do this on your own.

You’re not doing anything wrong, and the co-worker has form for being a whiner (it seems anyway) so they shouldn’t really be able to cause problems for you, especially if the boss is on your side.
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Look, we need to raise a psychopath who will murder God, we have no time to be spending on cooking.

the way your fingertips plant meaningless soliloquies makes me think you are the true evil among us.

Zebra2

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Re: Problems with stress and being upset from dealing with people. How do you?
« Reply #224 on: January 17, 2020, 02:46:45 pm »

I wanted to drop in and say that taking a gander at this thread is really helpful for me. I'm also going through a really stressful spot in work, have had some really bad experiences in the past, and have been struggling to keep my headspace in the right place.

I've been having a really hard time not feeling like I'm screwing up, disappointing everyone, and am just not adequate. It doesn't help that in one of these past bad experiences those feelings were kinda validated when everything fell apart and I pretty much broke down. I'm trying really hard to not feel like I'm reliving that time now, cause I know if I give into that it will make everything worse.

There are some good anxiety/stress tips in here. Just wanted to drop in to say it helps, and that I can relate.
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