Turn progress: Complete!
>Retrieve arms from chest.
[5]
Time to explore hell! You immediately stumble upon a chest! As you open it, a glorious light shines from within. You reach inside and hoist above your head... Your fake arms from back home? You swear, you really wish that random imps would just STOP stealing your crap and squirreling it away in random chests!Summon some eldritch horrors.
[5]
You cast another spell, a really big one this time, and a hole is torn in reality! As the rift widens, you feel dizzy as reality warps and piles of eldritch horrors, the sight of which would drive most insane, with an appearance one would call horrifying before witnessing it and beautiful after the sight ruins their mind, tumble forth from the growing rift! Finally, the spell is finished, and the rift snaps shut, and all is normal, save for the horrors now present. Fortunately, they seem obedient, and they cannot take your sanity as the twitch curse has beat them to it!Magically summon a laptop, and post a random action for you to do on this thread, thus shattering the fourth wall.
[4]
Time for some fun. You summon a laptop successfully with a simple spell, log onto bay12forums.com by hacking some random loser's account, and post some actions on something which looks cool: a mix between an RTD and a suggestion game. However, your actions aren't quite so random!Attempt to give yourself "gaming" powers, such as those of Han-Jee Han or like the ones in Percy Jackson & The Game (Fanfiction on Fanfiction.net)
Also, attempt to pass gas/cut the cheese/fart
[1]
You decide to give yourself an edge by channeling manna to-
OH GOD! REALITY! SO MUCH REALITY! IT HURTS! IT HUUUUURTS!!!...suffice to say, you do NOT have gaming powers. In fact, you nearly lost your interface to all the reality you just accidentally assaulted yourself with. That was close!
[4]
you let rip a fairly quiet squeaker.Dance a merry hornpipe on the prone body of the neighbour. Ensure prone-ness first, if necessary.
why, that's a wonderful idea! Thank your neighbor by showing him a skillful display of dancing! You climb the long staircase up and out of the fortress and navigate all the way to your neighbor's house. Sure enough, there he is standing outside! Why won't he stop standing? You need to solve this somehow.Summon up the Strength of your Scottish Ancestors, Grab the Nearest Telephone poll, and Throw it At your Neighbor!
But don't do anything to the telephone pollsters.
That'll do it![2]
you focus your being and attempt to summon up the strength of your ancestors, but it just won't flow! You lift with all your might, but only manage to tip the pole over.[3]
You have a quick exchange with the telephone pollsters. It is cut short, and you walk off awkwardly. You guess you'll just have to deck your neighbor in order to dance on him.[1]
You get a good run-up to dropkick your neighbor to the floor, but you trip and do the splits. Ouch! This hornpipe isn't going to happen. You solemnly return to the fort.Become sneaky. Explore!!!
[1]
Within a single step, you activate an explosive trap which hurts a bit, but is so loud that now all the demons know where you are. So sneaky!King:Continue doing that list.
Marvellous Idea, glad I thought of it![6]
You summon a powerful demon from hell by the name of Xantlos! He doesn't seem too happy about this, and quickly begins wrecking your shit![3]
You don't have time for puns. You pick up a can of bug spray and spritz an annoying fly right out of the air. Good enough.[3]
You tighten the belt, and your pants have achieved mild looseness, as opposed to complete looseness.[4]
Your belt becomes a titan! You are now the first glorious leader to have a belt titan. It works, but DAMN, your pants are heavy!The GLORIOUS LEADER can do no more this turn. You are now little Jimmy again.
Look for an boss monster to fight
[1]
It would appear that nothing wants anything to do with you right now! Despite the fact that you are absolutely surrounded by powerful demons who know exactly where you are and what you're doing, none of them are turning up anywhere! They must just not like humans.Scream at a tree until it blows up
[6]
Returning to the surface, you locate a tree and dodge a blast of dragonfire from its branches! Inhaling deeply, you scream the force of a thousand exploding suns and the tree is destroyed in a thermonuclear blast! You get caught in the blast, and almost killed! (That hit did 80% damage.)
Current status:
Life:5%. Magic:35%. Manna:80% Inventory: pants, sword, Buffalo-drawn cart, fake arms, laptop. Companions: obedient werefrog, water buffalo, pile of obedient eldritch horrors. Location: Hell fortress, bottom of entry tube
Poll
Author
Topic: Roll to twitch turn 15: What are we gonna do tonight, brain? (Read 25986 times)