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Author Topic: Doc Helgoland's Asylum for the Politically American: T+0  (Read 707332 times)

Sergarr

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Re: Ameripol\{RK, mainiac}
« Reply #1695 on: July 28, 2016, 10:43:59 pm »

Okay, that was perfect. That balloon drop, man.
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mainiac

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Re: Ameripol\{RK, mainiac}
« Reply #1696 on: July 28, 2016, 10:45:48 pm »

Sergarr, you still haven't answered the questions.
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Ancient Babylonian god of RAEG
--------------
[CAN_INTERNET]
[PREFSTRING:google]
"Don't tell me what you value. Show me your budget and I will tell you what you value"
« Last Edit: February 10, 1988, 03:27:23 pm by UR MOM »
mainiac is always a little sarcastic, at least.

Sergarr

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Re: Ameripol\{RK, mainiac}
« Reply #1697 on: July 28, 2016, 10:46:52 pm »

Sergarr, you still haven't answered the questions.
They're too nonsensical for me to interpret without going "nope", sorry.
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Starver

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Re: Ameripol\{RK, mainiac}
« Reply #1698 on: July 28, 2016, 10:47:33 pm »

1) It’s your birthday. Someone gives you a calfskin wallet. How do you react?
Aww, thanks...  Is there also a card with some money in it, to start it off?

2) You’ve got a little boy. He shows you his butterfly collection plus the killing jar. What do you do?
What era are you from, son..? Hang on, what year is it? Are we pre-smartphone, pre-Pokemon Go, or after the Global Pokepalypse? I mean, maybe your parents are aging anti-tech hippies, but with very unhippylike lepidopteraphobic tendencies to force you in to such pursuits... Hey kid! Come back! And bring back my calf-skin wallet!

3) You’re watching television. Suddenly you realize there’s a wasp crawling on your arm.
Lazy wasp. God gave them wings for a reason. Gorram, I hate this show. Has anyone seen the remote?

4) You're reading a magazine. You come across a full-page nude photo of a girl. You show it to your wife. She likes it so much, she hangs it on your bedroom wall. The girl is lying on a bearskin rug.
While the wife is in the bedroom, I proposition the girl on my living-room rug and see if she's as open to a threesome. Taking in a model as a houseguest seems like it might be even more interesting than I first thought...

5) You’re in a desert walking along in the sand when all of the sudden you look down, and you see a tortoise, it’s crawling toward you. You reach down, you flip the tortoise over on it's back. The tortoise lays on it's back, it's belly baking in the hot sun, beating it's legs trying to turn it'self over, but it can’t, not without your help. But you’re not helping. Why is that?
Conserving energy. Which also means I obviously had a good reason to flip it in the first place, and I even if I can't remember it I don't want to second-guess my heat-addled brain.

6) Describe in single words, only the good things that come into your mind about your mother.
...

7) You become pregnant by a man who runs off with your best friend, and you decide to get an abortion.
Whoah, this is like that time I woke up in that bath full of ice... Only different.

8) One more question: You're watching a stage play - a banquet is in progress. The guests are enjoying an appetizer of raw oysters. The entree consists of boiled dog stuffed with rice. The raw oysters are less acceptable to you than a dish of boiled dog.
Why then, the world's mine oyster, which I with sword will open.
I had rather be a dog, and bay the moon,

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mainiac

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Re: Ameripol\{RK, mainiac}
« Reply #1699 on: July 28, 2016, 10:51:03 pm »

According to my analysis you are a direct male lineage descendant of Ghengis Khan currently living in North Korea.
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Ancient Babylonian god of RAEG
--------------
[CAN_INTERNET]
[PREFSTRING:google]
"Don't tell me what you value. Show me your budget and I will tell you what you value"
« Last Edit: February 10, 1988, 03:27:23 pm by UR MOM »
mainiac is always a little sarcastic, at least.

Sergarr

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Re: Ameripol\{RK, mainiac}
« Reply #1700 on: July 28, 2016, 10:51:59 pm »

In other news, the pro-Russian shill is absolutely livid at the DNC, said that he wanted to hit some of the speaker "so hard, that their heads would spin and never recover". Also, he's still salty about Ted Cruz not endorsing him.
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Starver

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Re: Ameripol\{RK, mainiac}
« Reply #1701 on: July 28, 2016, 10:55:40 pm »

According to my analysis you are a direct male lineage descendant of Ghengis Khan currently living in North Korea.
Surprisingly close. Now get out of my house! Unless you have any more nekkid pictures...
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smirk

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Re: Ameripol\{RK, mainiac}
« Reply #1702 on: July 28, 2016, 10:57:06 pm »

Sergarr, you still haven't answered the questions.
They're too nonsensical for me to interpret without going "nope", sorry.
They're just questions, Leon.
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When i think of toady i think of a toad hopping arround on a keyboard
also
he should stay out of the light it will dry out his skin
his moist amphibian skin
.

Sergarr

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Re: Ameripol\{RK, mainiac}
« Reply #1703 on: July 28, 2016, 11:00:00 pm »

Okay, maybe I will answer them. After I calm down a little. Goddamn that balloon drop was amazing. Like, this is just amazing.
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mainiac

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Re: Ameripol\{RK, mainiac}
« Reply #1704 on: July 28, 2016, 11:10:38 pm »

You are saying you have a strong emotional response to the combination of balloons and pestering.  Noted.

If I have two cousins, five years apart in age, and the younger is a girl, what sex is the older?
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Ancient Babylonian god of RAEG
--------------
[CAN_INTERNET]
[PREFSTRING:google]
"Don't tell me what you value. Show me your budget and I will tell you what you value"
« Last Edit: February 10, 1988, 03:27:23 pm by UR MOM »
mainiac is always a little sarcastic, at least.

MetalSlimeHunt

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Re: Ameripol\{RK, mainiac}
« Reply #1705 on: July 28, 2016, 11:19:24 pm »

Oh, oh, I know this one! The younger girl is the older one. The other one is five years apart, but that's five years younger and the younger girl is five, therefore the other cousin doesn't really exist and the younger girl is older.
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Quote from: Thomas Paine
To argue with a man who has renounced the use and authority of reason, and whose philosophy consists in holding humanity in contempt, is like administering medicine to the dead, or endeavoring to convert an atheist by scripture.
Quote
No Gods, No Masters.

mainiac

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Re: Ameripol\{RK, mainiac}
« Reply #1706 on: July 28, 2016, 11:24:33 pm »

Interesting answer.

Did you ever get told in school that there are no dumb answers?
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Ancient Babylonian god of RAEG
--------------
[CAN_INTERNET]
[PREFSTRING:google]
"Don't tell me what you value. Show me your budget and I will tell you what you value"
« Last Edit: February 10, 1988, 03:27:23 pm by UR MOM »
mainiac is always a little sarcastic, at least.

Sergarr

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Re: Ameripol\{RK, mainiac}
« Reply #1707 on: July 28, 2016, 11:29:13 pm »

Okay, I've finally stopped laughing and switched personality setting to "good"

let's do this:
1) It’s your birthday. Someone gives you a calfskin wallet. How do you react?
Put the wallet into my bigger wallet, so that I can cash out while I cash out.
2) You’ve got a little boy. He shows you his butterfly collection plus the killing jar. What do you do?
Admire butterflies. So pretty!
3) You’re watching television. Suddenly you realize there’s a wasp crawling on your arm.
Scream like a little girl and run away in panic.
4) You're reading a magazine. You come across a full-page nude photo of a girl. You show it to your wife. She likes it so much, she hangs it on your bedroom wall. The girlis lying on a bearskin rug.
Admire the beauty of that bearskin rug. and totally not one of the girl ahahaha
5) You’re in a desert walking along in the sand when all of the sudden you look down, and you see a tortoise, it’s crawling toward you. You reach down, you flip the tortoise over on it's back. The tortoise lays on it's back, it's belly baking in the hot sun, beating it's legs trying to turn it'self over, but it can’t, not without your help. But you’re not helping. Why is that?
The tortoise was doomed from its very inception. If it was not stopped, who know what would've happened? poor tortoise, I hardly knew ye
6) Describe in single words, only the good things that come into your mind about your mother.
Uh, light? Seems to cover it all, according to my internal lvl 70 blood elf paladin codex.
7) You become pregnant by a man who runs off with your best friend, and you decide to get an abortion.
What a pair of douches. Seriously. smh
8) One more question: You're watching a stage play - a banquet is in progress. The guests are enjoying an appetizer of raw oysters. The entree consists of boiled dog stuffed with rice. The raw oysters are less acceptable to you than a dish of boiled dog.
Ew, gross.
If I have two cousins, five years apart in age, and the younger is a girl, what sex is the older?
attack helicopter Female, obviously. It is so obvious that I'm having a hard time formulating an argument to support that motion, but if it exists, it must necessarily be so profound as to be a sub-fundamental law of reality itself. Or maybe it's male, because reality is unfair. Who knows.
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MetalSlimeHunt

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Re: Ameripol\{RK, mainiac}
« Reply #1708 on: July 28, 2016, 11:32:21 pm »

Interesting answer.

Did you ever get told in school that there are no dumb answers?
They never told me much of anything, I think my incessant staring made them just want to get away.
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Quote from: Thomas Paine
To argue with a man who has renounced the use and authority of reason, and whose philosophy consists in holding humanity in contempt, is like administering medicine to the dead, or endeavoring to convert an atheist by scripture.
Quote
No Gods, No Masters.

mainiac

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Re: Ameripol\{RK, mainiac}
« Reply #1709 on: July 28, 2016, 11:36:38 pm »

Sergarr, according to my analysis you are the evil twin but Slyvester Stalone wishes to make the next Rocky Movie an autobiography of your life as the daughter of Ivan Drago and your transition from heel to face.

MetalSlimeHunt, I'm afraid that you are non-Asenion. :(

Finally getting around to see this speech and I loved the delivery on this part:
Quote
Now Donald Trump says, and this is a quote, “I know more about ISIS than the generals do….”

No, Donald, you don't.
It was better on the DNC livestream because they didn't do a camera break and just kept on that sarcastic sarcastic glare.
« Last Edit: July 28, 2016, 11:42:28 pm by mainiac »
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Ancient Babylonian god of RAEG
--------------
[CAN_INTERNET]
[PREFSTRING:google]
"Don't tell me what you value. Show me your budget and I will tell you what you value"
« Last Edit: February 10, 1988, 03:27:23 pm by UR MOM »
mainiac is always a little sarcastic, at least.
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