Bay 12 Games Forum

Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Advanced search  
Pages: 1 ... 114 115 [116] 117 118 ... 1293

Author Topic: Doc Helgoland's Asylum for the Politically American: T+0  (Read 601721 times)

Sergarr

  • Bay Watcher
  • (9) airheaded baka (9)
    • View Profile
Re: Ameripol\{RK, mainiac}
« Reply #1725 on: July 28, 2016, 11:29:13 pm »

Okay, I've finally stopped laughing and switched personality setting to "good"

let's do this:
1) Itís your birthday. Someone gives you a calfskin wallet. How do you react?
Put the wallet into my bigger wallet, so that I can cash out while I cash out.
2) Youíve got a little boy. He shows you his butterfly collection plus the killing jar. What do you do?
Admire butterflies. So pretty!
3) Youíre watching television. Suddenly you realize thereís a wasp crawling on your arm.
Scream like a little girl and run away in panic.
4) You're reading a magazine. You come across a full-page nude photo of a girl. You show it to your wife. She likes it so much, she hangs it on your bedroom wall. The girlis lying on a bearskin rug.
Admire the beauty of that bearskin rug. and totally not one of the girl ahahaha
5) Youíre in a desert walking along in the sand when all of the sudden you look down, and you see a tortoise, itís crawling toward you. You reach down, you flip the tortoise over on it's back. The tortoise lays on it's back, it's belly baking in the hot sun, beating it's legs trying to turn it'self over, but it canít, not without your help. But youíre not helping. Why is that?
The tortoise was doomed from its very inception. If it was not stopped, who know what would've happened? poor tortoise, I hardly knew ye
6) Describe in single words, only the good things that come into your mind about your mother.
Uh, light? Seems to cover it all, according to my internal lvl 70 blood elf paladin codex.
7) You become pregnant by a man who runs off with your best friend, and you decide to get an abortion.
What a pair of douches. Seriously. smh
8) One more question: You're watching a stage play - a banquet is in progress. The guests are enjoying an appetizer of raw oysters. The entree consists of boiled dog stuffed with rice. The raw oysters are less acceptable to you than a dish of boiled dog.
Ew, gross.
If I have two cousins, five years apart in age, and the younger is a girl, what sex is the older?
attack helicopter Female, obviously. It is so obvious that I'm having a hard time formulating an argument to support that motion, but if it exists, it must necessarily be so profound as to be a sub-fundamental law of reality itself. Or maybe it's male, because reality is unfair. Who knows.
Logged
._.

MetalSlimeHunt

  • Bay Watcher
  • Gerrymander Commander
    • View Profile
Re: Ameripol\{RK, mainiac}
« Reply #1726 on: July 28, 2016, 11:32:21 pm »

Interesting answer.

Did you ever get told in school that there are no dumb answers?
They never told me much of anything, I think my incessant staring made them just want to get away.
Logged
Quote from: Thomas Paine
To argue with a man who has renounced the use and authority of reason, and whose philosophy consists in holding humanity in contempt, is like administering medicine to the dead, or endeavoring to convert an atheist by scripture.
Quote
No Gods, No Masters.

mainiac

  • Bay Watcher
  • Na vazeal kwah-kai
    • View Profile
Re: Ameripol\{RK, mainiac}
« Reply #1727 on: July 28, 2016, 11:36:38 pm »

Sergarr, according to my analysis you are the evil twin but Slyvester Stalone wishes to make the next Rocky Movie an autobiography of your life as the daughter of Ivan Drago and your transition from heel to face.

MetalSlimeHunt, I'm afraid that you are non-Asenion. :(

Finally getting around to see this speech and I loved the delivery on this part:
Quote
Now Donald Trump says, and this is a quote, ďI know more about ISIS than the generals doÖ.Ē

No, Donald, you don't.
It was better on the DNC livestream because they didn't do a camera break and just kept on that sarcastic sarcastic glare.
« Last Edit: July 28, 2016, 11:42:28 pm by mainiac »
Logged
Ancient Babylonian god of RAEG
--------------
[CAN_INTERNET]
[PREFSTRING:google]
"Don't tell me what you value. Show me your budget and I will tell you what you value"
ę Last Edit: February 10, 1988, 03:27:23 pm by UR MOM Ľ
mainiac is always a little sarcastic, at least.

Sergarr

  • Bay Watcher
  • (9) airheaded baka (9)
    • View Profile
Re: Ameripol\{RK, mainiac}
« Reply #1728 on: July 28, 2016, 11:46:41 pm »

Sergarr, according to my analysis you are the evil twin but Slyvester Stalone wishes to make the next Rocky Movie an autobiography of your life as the daughter of Ivan Drago and your transition from heel to face.
Yaaaaaay!

In other thread-related news, Trump is salty. Very, very salty. His twitter is filled with raeg twits. It appears that the DNC got to him.

As Clinton has said, "A man you can bait with a tweet is not a man we can trust with nuclear weapons".
Logged
._.

sluissa

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: Ameripol\{RK, mainiac}
« Reply #1729 on: July 28, 2016, 11:50:07 pm »

Here's the beauty of it though. You're all talking about the DNC in relation to Trump. He's still getting attention here even during the week that's supposed to be the DNC's big boost. They made a huge mistake focusing so much of their time on trying to take him down. There's no such thing as bad publicity.
Logged

Orange Wizard

  • Bay Watcher
  • mou ii yo
    • View Profile
    • S M U G
Re: Ameripol\{RK, mainiac}
« Reply #1730 on: July 28, 2016, 11:52:25 pm »

1) Itís your birthday. Someone gives you a calfskin wallet. How do you react?
Thanks

2) Youíve got a little boy. He shows you his butterfly collection plus the killing jar. What do you do?
That's pretty clever, actually

3) Youíre watching television. Suddenly you realize thereís a wasp crawling on your arm.
HEY KID I NEED THAT KILLJAR

4) You're reading a magazine. You come across a full-page nude photo of a girl. You show it to your wife. She likes it so much, she hangs it on your bedroom wall. The girlis lying on a bearskin rug.
Stop poking holes in my wall, you bitch!

5) Youíre in a desert walking along in the sand when all of the sudden you look down, and you see a tortoise, itís crawling toward you. You reach down, you flip the tortoise over on it's back. The tortoise lays on it's back, it's belly baking in the hot sun, beating it's legs trying to turn it'self over, but it canít, not without your help. But youíre not helping. Why is that?
Fuck the tortoise, he knew the risks when he took the job

6) Describe in single words, only the good things that come into your mind about your mother.

7) You become pregnant by a man who runs off with your best friend, and you decide to get an abortion.
Pretty sure that's the plot of a doujinshi I was reading a few days ago

8) One more question: You're watching a stage play - a banquet is in progress. The guests are enjoying an appetizer of raw oysters. The entree consists of boiled dog stuffed with rice. The raw oysters are less acceptable to you than a dish of boiled dog.
Obviously. Who the hell eats raw oyster? Shit looks like snot.
Logged
Please don't shitpost, it lowers the quality of discourse
Hard science is like a sword, and soft science is like fear. You can use both to equally powerful results, but even if your opponent disbelieve your stabs, they will still die.

mainiac

  • Bay Watcher
  • Na vazeal kwah-kai
    • View Profile
Re: Ameripol\{RK, mainiac}
« Reply #1731 on: July 28, 2016, 11:56:36 pm »

Orange Wizard, you are trapped in a lucid dream.  You need to wake up now.  Your children need you.  You need to wake up now.
Logged
Ancient Babylonian god of RAEG
--------------
[CAN_INTERNET]
[PREFSTRING:google]
"Don't tell me what you value. Show me your budget and I will tell you what you value"
ę Last Edit: February 10, 1988, 03:27:23 pm by UR MOM Ľ
mainiac is always a little sarcastic, at least.

MetalSlimeHunt

  • Bay Watcher
  • Gerrymander Commander
    • View Profile
Re: Ameripol\{RK, mainiac}
« Reply #1732 on: July 28, 2016, 11:58:18 pm »

Don't listen to him, OW. He's just deceiving you with his devil skin. This is real. Put down the gun. Nothing is waiting on the other side.
Logged
Quote from: Thomas Paine
To argue with a man who has renounced the use and authority of reason, and whose philosophy consists in holding humanity in contempt, is like administering medicine to the dead, or endeavoring to convert an atheist by scripture.
Quote
No Gods, No Masters.

Rolepgeek

  • Bay Watcher
  • They see me rollin' they savin'~
    • View Profile
Re: Ameripol\{RK, mainiac}
« Reply #1733 on: July 29, 2016, 12:00:06 am »

1) Itís your birthday. Someone gives you a calfskin wallet. How do you react?

2) Youíve got a little boy. He shows you his butterfly collection plus the killing jar. What do you do?

3) Youíre watching television. Suddenly you realize thereís a wasp crawling on your arm.

4) You're reading a magazine. You come across a full-page nude photo of a girl. You show it to your wife. She likes it so much, she hangs it on your bedroom wall. The girlis lying on a bearskin rug.

5) Youíre in a desert walking along in the sand when all of the sudden you look down, and you see a tortoise, itís crawling toward you. You reach down, you flip the tortoise over on it's back. The tortoise lays on it's back, it's belly baking in the hot sun, beating it's legs trying to turn it'self over, but it canít, not without your help. But youíre not helping. Why is that?

6) Describe in single words, only the good things that come into your mind about your mother.

7) You become pregnant by a man who runs off with your best friend, and you decide to get an abortion.

8) One more question: You're watching a stage play - a banquet is in progress. The guests are enjoying an appetizer of raw oysters. The entree consists of boiled dog stuffed with rice. The raw oysters are less acceptable to you than a dish of boiled dog.
1) That was nice of them. Is it a good quality wallet, though? Like, I have to store a lot of stuff in my wallet. I'll keep it, mind, but I might not end up using it. Prob'ly react same way I do with any gift: polite gratitude.

2) Poor butterflies. I tell him to try and take photos, instead, if he can. You can't do much besides look at them, anyway. Use a high-def camera though, butterflies are pretty. They aren't moths, either.

3) Fucking hell! First moths, now wasps in the house? Goddamn. I blow on it. I've heard that gets bees and shit to go away without getting scared enough to sting.

4) I'll assume you meant girl is*, first off, but uh, I have no real idea what this girl looks like. I do apparently have a kinky relationship with my wife though. That's probably fun. Though the rug can't be that comfortable, not nude. Anyway, back to reading my weird magazine

5) SCIENCE

6) competence, mindfulness, love,

7) Okay. I don't know if you know what question means, sometimes. Only three of these are actually questions, in fact. I mean, my life sounds pretty shitty. I have a womb out of nowhere, my best friend ran off with a dude who seems rather irresponsible, and now I have to explain to the clinic that yes, I do need an abortion, no I'm not transgender, I just really don't want to try to give birth through my urethra.

8) I mean if you're gonna be choosing my opinions for me I'm not sure how I'm even supposed to respond. There isn't even technically a question to respond to here. I suppose the implied question is why, but you said that with the tortoise one so if you meant for it to be about that's what you'd say, I'm fairly sure. I supposed it's probably because honestly, oysters can give you food poisoning really easily, 'specially when raw, and boiled dog might not be too bad. I dunno. I'll try it. Doubt it was somebody's pet, after all.

If I have two cousins, five years apart in age, and the younger is a girl, what sex is the older?
Probabilistically, 51% likely to be female. You never even said they were siblings, after all. Maybe slightly lessthan 51% considering current gender norms concerning identity, but you said sex, not gender.
« Last Edit: July 29, 2016, 12:01:52 am by Rolepgeek »
Logged
Sincerely, Role P. Geek

Optimism is Painful.
Optimize anyway.

mainiac

  • Bay Watcher
  • Na vazeal kwah-kai
    • View Profile
Re: Ameripol\{RK, mainiac}
« Reply #1734 on: July 29, 2016, 12:08:47 am »

6) Describe in single words, only the good things that come into your mind about your mother.
6) competence, mindfulness, love,
According to my analysis you are a 36 year old woman with a PhD in International relations, living in Manhattan who gave birth to your second child 6 weeks ago.
Logged
Ancient Babylonian god of RAEG
--------------
[CAN_INTERNET]
[PREFSTRING:google]
"Don't tell me what you value. Show me your budget and I will tell you what you value"
ę Last Edit: February 10, 1988, 03:27:23 pm by UR MOM Ľ
mainiac is always a little sarcastic, at least.

misko27

  • Bay Watcher
  • Lawful Neutral
    • View Profile
Re: Ameripol\{RK, mainiac}
« Reply #1735 on: July 29, 2016, 12:16:42 am »

There's only one way to find out.

1) Itís your birthday. Someone gives you a calfskin wallet. How do you react?
Say thanks. Never use it (I already have one; unless its really nice, but I think I would still prefer what I have). Think about selling it maybe if it looks expensive. End up giving it away to someone else to win their favor.

Quote
2) Youíve got a little boy. He shows you his butterfly collection plus the killing jar. What do you do?
Years of dealing with children with mental issues has prepared me for this. Be very polite and pretend to be engaged. Find this weirdos parents.

Quote
3) Youíre watching television. Suddenly you realize thereís a wasp crawling on your arm.
Instantly smack it. Instantly. Hard. It must die. I hate bugs, I hate when they crawl on me, and I hate getting stung.
Quote
4) You're reading a magazine. You come across a full-page nude photo of a girl. You show it to your wife. She likes it so much, she hangs it on your bedroom wall. The girl is lying on a bearskin rug.
First, I think that is a somewhat odd decision by this hypothetical wife of mine. Secondly, I wonder for her health, and whether she is hiding something and/or revealing something about herself by this strange action. I wonder if it is something about me, or something about her. Also, I think that I would not like the sensation of bearskin. Probably itchy. I hate itchy.

Quote
5) Youíre in a desert walking along in the sand when all of the sudden you look down, and you see a tortoise, itís crawling toward you. You reach down, you flip the tortoise over on it's back. The tortoise lays on it's back, it's belly baking in the hot sun, beating it's legs trying to turn it'self over, but it canít, not without your help. But youíre not helping. Why is that?
I don't think I would do this. If I did, it would probably be from boredom, and to distract myself from the fact that I hate deserts and hot weather. Also mostly to see whether or not the thing can eventually figure its way out of this mess.

Quote
6) Describe in single words, only the good things that come into your mind about your mother.
Intelligent. Well-meaning. Perseverant. Academic. Ambitious. Devoted.

Quote
7) You become pregnant by a man who runs off with your best friend, and you decide to get an abortion.
As a man I find this pregnancy to be a terrifying prospect due to my lack of a womb. The abortion would be for health reasons first. That and I wouldn't want to have a child by a cheater like that. I wouldn't want to get into this situation in the first place, but abortion is my way out of it.

Quote
8) One more question: You're watching a stage play - a banquet is in progress. The guests are enjoying an appetizer of raw oysters. The entree consists of boiled dog stuffed with rice. The raw oysters are less acceptable to you than a dish of boiled dog.
I dislike all of these foods. I suppose at least the boiled dog is edible, while I've never once in my life enjoyed seafood. I don't have any real desire to eat dog, but I don't have any particular objection, while oysters are weird and gross.
Logged
The Age of Man is over. It is the Fire's turn now

birdy51

  • Bay Watcher
  • Always be Beeping
    • View Profile
Re: Ameripol\{RK, mainiac}
« Reply #1736 on: July 29, 2016, 01:10:45 am »

1) Itís your birthday. Someone gives you a calfskin wallet. How do you react?
Lovingly, but I wouldn't show that I have absolutely no use for that wallet. I already have one.

2) Youíve got a little boy. He shows you his butterfly collection plus the killing jar. What do you do?
Admire the collection, but quietly worry about the killing jar. That's a strange.

3) Youíre watching television. Suddenly you realize thereís a wasp crawling on your arm.
FUCK WASPS. FUCK IT. DIE.

4) You're reading a magazine. You come across a full-page nude photo of a girl. You show it to your wife. She likes it so much, she hangs it on your bedroom wall. The girlis lying on a bearskin rug.
Quietly wonder about wife. Assuming this is the same wife we raised the butterfly killing monster with, there may be cause for concern here.

5) Youíre in a desert walking along in the sand when all of the sudden you look down, and you see a tortoise, itís crawling toward you. You reach down, you flip the tortoise over on it's back. The tortoise lays on it's back, it's belly baking in the hot sun, beating it's legs trying to turn it'self over, but it canít, not without your help. But youíre not helping. Why is that?
Presumably because I flipped it over in the first place, I wouldn't wish to undo the work I've done. It's too late to turn back now!

6) Describe in single words, only the good things that come into your mind about your mother.
Caring. Patient. Loving.

7) You become pregnant by a man who runs off with your best friend, and you decide to get an abortion.
Ponder life and it's many regrets.

8) One more question: You're watching a stage play - a banquet is in progress. The guests are enjoying an appetizer of raw oysters. The entree consists of boiled dog stuffed with rice. The raw oysters are less acceptable to you than a dish of boiled dog.
Continue to ponder what the hell is up with those oysters that they catch my eye more than the dog. Ponder life and it's many regrets.
Logged
BIRDS.

Also started a Let's Play, Yu-Gi-Oh! Duelists of the Roses

NullForceOmega

  • Bay Watcher
  • But, really, it's divine. Divinely tiresome.
    • View Profile
Re: Ameripol\{RK, mainiac}
« Reply #1737 on: July 29, 2016, 02:27:15 am »


1) Itís your birthday. Someone gives you a calfskin wallet. How do you react?

2) Youíve got a little boy. He shows you his butterfly collection plus the killing jar. What do you do?

3) Youíre watching television. Suddenly you realize thereís a wasp crawling on your arm.

4) You're reading a magazine. You come across a full-page nude photo of a girl. You show it to your wife. She likes it so much, she hangs it on your bedroom wall. The girlis lying on a bearskin rug.

5) Youíre in a desert walking along in the sand when all of the sudden you look down, and you see a tortoise, itís crawling toward you. You reach down, you flip the tortoise over on it's back. The tortoise lays on it's back, it's belly baking in the hot sun, beating it's legs trying to turn it'self over, but it canít, not without your help. But youíre not helping. Why is that?

6) Describe in single words, only the good things that come into your mind about your mother.

7) You become pregnant by a man who runs off with your best friend, and you decide to get an abortion.

8) One more question: You're watching a stage play - a banquet is in progress. The guests are enjoying an appetizer of raw oysters. The entree consists of boiled dog stuffed with rice. The raw oysters are less acceptable to you than a dish of boiled dog.

1 )  Thank the giver for the considerate gift.

2 )  Ask him to explain the contents of his collection, the locations at which they were obtained, thank him for sharing his hobby with me.

3 )  Remain still until the wasp decides to take flight, rise, attempt to direct the wasp outdoors, if uncooperative, terminate with extreme prejudice.

4 )  Discuss artistic qualities of the full page-spread, discuss use of composition, framing, and light present in the image.

5 )  I am in the desert, food is not plentiful, the tortoise represents both food and fluids that I require to survive, this death serves a purpose.

6 )  Insightful, involved, organized

7 )  An unfortunate situation, without the support of the child's father I will be unable to provide an environment that is conducive to raising a child, due to my poor earning potential.

8 )  Destroy absolutely everything, no survivors, scorched earth policy.  Shitty play, poor service, and bad taste, this place had it coming.
Logged
Grey morality is for people who wish to avoid retribution for misdeeds.

NullForceOmega is an immortal neanderthal who has been an amnesiac for the past 5000 years.

Maxô

  • Bay Watcher
  • [CULL:SQUARE]
    • View Profile
Re: Ameripol\{RK, mainiac}
« Reply #1738 on: July 29, 2016, 02:49:44 am »

According to my analysis you are a middle aged Russian woman.
Я думаю, что есть что. Я полагаю, я прочь, чтобы собрать немного водки тогда.
Logged
Engraved here is a rendition of an image of the Dwarf Fortress learning curve. All craftsdwarfship is of the highest quality. It depicts an obsidian overhang which menaces with spikes of obsidian and tears. Carved on the overhang is an image of Toady One and the players. The players are curled up in a fetal position. Toady One is laughing. The players are burning.
The VectorCurses+1 tileset strikes the square set and the severed part sails off in an arc!

martinuzz

  • Bay Watcher
  • High dwarf
    • View Profile
Re: Ameripol\{RK, mainiac}
« Reply #1739 on: July 29, 2016, 03:13:46 am »

1) Itís your birthday. Someone gives you a calfskin wallet. How do you react?

2) Youíve got a little boy. He shows you his butterfly collection plus the killing jar. What do you do?

3) Youíre watching television. Suddenly you realize thereís a wasp crawling on your arm.

4) You're reading a magazine. You come across a full-page nude photo of a girl. You show it to your wife. She likes it so much, she hangs it on your bedroom wall. The girlis lying on a bearskin rug.

5) Youíre in a desert walking along in the sand when all of the sudden you look down, and you see a tortoise, itís crawling toward you. You reach down, you flip the tortoise over on it's back. The tortoise lays on it's back, it's belly baking in the hot sun, beating it's legs trying to turn it'self over, but it canít, not without your help. But youíre not helping. Why is that?

6) Describe in single words, only the good things that come into your mind about your mother.

7) You become pregnant by a man who runs off with your best friend, and you decide to get an abortion.

 8) One more question: You're watching a stage play - a banquet is in progress. The guests are enjoying an appetizer of raw oysters. The entree consists of boiled dog stuffed with rice. The raw oysters are less acceptable to you than a dish of boiled dog.
1) Organize a lynch mob with the rest of the birthday party and kill the heretic who sponsored the death of a holy cow. Auhm Baghwan Auhm.
2) Ask him how he broke free from the factory sweatshop I sold him to
3) Panic, scream and get stung multiple times
4) Beat her for being a heartless bear hunt supporter
5) Dreams are weird like that
6) Bears, vodka, Putin
7) I run around screaming and flapping my arms looking for my d*** that was still there only a few questions earlier.
 8) Raw oysters are disgusting, even fake stage oysters
[/absurdism]
« Last Edit: July 29, 2016, 04:00:56 am by martinuzz »
Logged
Optimists have just used up the last bit of hope. Run for your lives!

Enjoy the freedom to explore the limits of your constraints

http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=73719.msg1830479#msg1830479
Pages: 1 ... 114 115 [116] 117 118 ... 1293