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Author Topic: Doc Helgoland's Asylum for the Politically American: T+0  (Read 1297720 times)

RedKing

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Re: Doc Helgoland's Asylum for the Politically American
« Reply #7950 on: October 20, 2016, 03:54:38 pm »

November 9: President-Elect Clinton's press conference is interrupted by Trump and a host of his top supporters, all armed with Uzis. He proceeds to hold Clinton hostage and gloat about how she can't beat him, because he's the best and always will be. Just as he's about to tell Steve Bannon to "waste these losers", Hillary says "You forgot something."

Smirking, he turns around and says, "What?"

Hillary says, "It takes a village....bitch," as she whips a Desert Eagle .50cal out of a hidden compartment in her pantsuit and her Secret Service detail break through hidden wall panels where they'd been concealed.


Later, after the epic gunfight in which Clinton and Trump's guns both jam, and they're force to fight hand-to-hand before Trump's reckless, desperate charge misses entirely and he goes plummeting to this death (kind of a metaphor for the last debate), Bernie Sanders asks, "But Hillary! I thought you were in favor of stronger gun control??"

"I guess my views....evolved."

CUE LAUGHTER, FADE TO CREDITS
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TheDarkStar

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Re: Doc Helgoland's Asylum for the Politically American
« Reply #7951 on: October 20, 2016, 04:23:21 pm »

I'd pay money for that.

Election 2016: The Movie.

Starring Trump as Trump, some famous actor as Hillary, a really old guy as Bernie, and 100 secret service members who engage in close-quarters combat with Trumps minions, watch a newbie Secret Service member rise in ranks and eventually lead the assault on Trump Tower.
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mainiac

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Re: Doc Helgoland's Asylum for the Politically American
« Reply #7952 on: October 20, 2016, 04:31:06 pm »

"I guess my views....evolved."

Let's be honest though.  This is Clinton.  She'd botch the line.

Alternative ending edit:

Trump makes a reckless charge towards her.  She jumps up and grabs a curtain rod above her.  Trump goes under Clinton and off the ledge.

"As my good friend Michelle Obama says... when they go low, we go high!"
« Last Edit: October 20, 2016, 04:33:57 pm by mainiac »
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Baffler

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Re: Doc Helgoland's Asylum for the Politically American
« Reply #7953 on: October 20, 2016, 04:39:38 pm »

"As my good friend Michelle Obama says... when they go low, we go high!"

I do admit, I can definitely hear her saying this.
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Frumple

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Re: Doc Helgoland's Asylum for the Politically American
« Reply #7954 on: October 20, 2016, 05:45:05 pm »

Huh.

tl;dr, the trump foundation apparently sunk 10k into project veritas.
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Reelya

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Re: Doc Helgoland's Asylum for the Politically American
« Reply #7955 on: October 20, 2016, 05:50:06 pm »

"sunk" is the operative term.

Although it's probably good value for money. 10k gets you the next 37 Project Veritas films.

misko27

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Re: Doc Helgoland's Asylum for the Politically American
« Reply #7956 on: October 20, 2016, 05:52:24 pm »

It's good to see they are spending their money wisely and not on distractions. Obviously taking money away from your ground game is risky business, especially when you are behind in your ground game, need to move reluctant voters, and are being outspent by your opponent; therefore it's good for him that he got so much mileage out of that 1000. /s

But wait, I thought 100% of all the money donated to the Trump Foundation goes to charity? That's what he said last night right? (He really, really could not resist just saying 100% could he. Then what pays for the administration? Advertising? etc)
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Neonivek

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Re: Doc Helgoland's Asylum for the Politically American
« Reply #7957 on: October 20, 2016, 05:53:05 pm »

I'd pay money for that.

Election 2016: The Movie.

Starring Trump as Trump, some famous actor as Hillary, a really old guy as Bernie, and 100 secret service members who engage in close-quarters combat with Trumps minions, watch a newbie Secret Service member rise in ranks and eventually lead the assault on Trump Tower.

Honestly I am waiting for a GOOD parody videogame of it. Right now they haven't exactly hit a good level.

What I do find funny is that there is a game "The Political Machine 2016" that is kind of skewed towards Trump... Significantly.

You can actually defeat Hilary Clinton by spamming the airwaves about "probing Hilary's emails" and nothing else.

Now I say skewed towards Trump because none of the controversy surrounding him (the acres and acres of it) actually makes it into the game.
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MetalSlimeHunt

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Re: Doc Helgoland's Asylum for the Politically American
« Reply #7958 on: October 20, 2016, 05:55:47 pm »

It's good to see they are spending their money wisely and not on distractions. Obviously taking money away from your ground game is risky business, especially when you are behind in your ground game, need to move reluctant voters, and are being outspent by your opponent; therefore it's good for him that he got so much mileage out of that 1000. /s

But wait, I thought 100% of all the money donated to the Trump Foundation goes to charity? That's what he said last night right? (He really, really could not resist just saying 100% could he. Then what pays for the administration? Advertising? etc)
They put up the American flag and, they put up the American flag and, they put up the American flag and that's all they did.

The Clinton Foundation funds radical Islamic terrorism, she won't even say the word!
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smirk

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Re: Doc Helgoland's Asylum for the Politically American
« Reply #7959 on: October 20, 2016, 06:11:12 pm »

They put up the American flag and, they put up the American flag and, they put up the American flag and that's all they did.
Man, RATM is really starting to scrape the bottom of the barrel for lyrics, aren't they?
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smjjames

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Re: Doc Helgoland's Asylum for the Politically American
« Reply #7960 on: October 20, 2016, 06:18:49 pm »

It's good to see they are spending their money wisely and not on distractions. Obviously taking money away from your ground game is risky business, especially when you are behind in your ground game, need to move reluctant voters, and are being outspent by your opponent; therefore it's good for him that he got so much mileage out of that 1000. /s

But wait, I thought 100% of all the money donated to the Trump Foundation goes to charity? That's what he said last night right? (He really, really could not resist just saying 100% could he. Then what pays for the administration? Advertising? etc)

I wouldn't call the investing in the project veritas thing 'wise'. The main guy implicated did step down so that he wouldn't be a distraction, doesn't neccesarily mean that they did anything wrong.

Also, he claims that the money going into Trump Foundation goes to charity, there's been no evidence of that actually happening, and theres more evidence of him using it as his personal bank than it going to charity.

Some Trump loyalists are apparently going to try and crowd source some 'exit polls', in primarily Democrat cities of all places. Confirmation bias anybody? :P Plus, about the only thing exit polls are accurate for is seeing who came to vote, especially for the general election.

You know, it would be wonderfully ironic if the claims of voter fraud came down to voter intimidation by Trump loyalists.....

edit: Also, what's up with the string of a bunch of pollsters consistently or near consistently showing a close race? First it was the LA poll, now it's a few others like the IBD and Rasmussen. It's entirely possible that it could end up being closer than we all thought it would, but the LA poll and those few others seem to have bifurcated from where the others generally are.
« Last Edit: October 20, 2016, 06:26:01 pm by smjjames »
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nenjin

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Re: Doc Helgoland's Asylum for the Politically American
« Reply #7961 on: October 20, 2016, 06:36:14 pm »

All I can say is, I'll have my voter registration card in my back pocket when I go to the polls....

Right next to my Lead Knuckles.
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MetalSlimeHunt

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Re: Doc Helgoland's Asylum for the Politically American
« Reply #7962 on: October 20, 2016, 06:37:34 pm »

Definitely voting early. This election is gonna get #problematic real fast, I can't wait to see all the fight videos.
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smjjames

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Re: Doc Helgoland's Asylum for the Politically American
« Reply #7963 on: October 20, 2016, 06:49:49 pm »

I don't expect anything at my voting location, but yeah, any attempts to intimidate won't work on me.

Also, both candidates are at a dinner thing tonight (tradition thing dating back to the 60's) with a bunch of other people and they're separated by one seat with the cardinal between them. And they're supposed to make 'light hearted' jokes at each other.

Hard to imagine Trump 'light heartedly' making jokes at Clinton. They'd probably be lewd anyway.
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RedKing

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Re: Doc Helgoland's Asylum for the Politically American
« Reply #7964 on: October 20, 2016, 08:09:07 pm »

All I can say is, I'll have my voter registration card in my back pocket when I go to the polls....

Right next to my Lead Knuckles.

There will almost certainly be some "hey buddy, let me see your ID" by Trump supporters on election day whether he specifically courts that or not. I look forward to the chaos.
I'll be sure to have my driver's license glued onto my fist, so I can fulfill their requests.

"No officer, I didn't facepunch this man. He requested to see my ID, and I attempted to comply rapidly and vigorously. And repeatedly."
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Remember, knowledge is power. The power to make other people feel stupid.
Quote from: Neil DeGrasse Tyson
Science is like an inoculation against charlatans who would have you believe whatever it is they tell you.
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