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Author Topic: Gender/sexuality etc. - What Even Is A Gender Anyway  (Read 60297 times)

Solifuge

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Re: Gender/sexuality etc. - The dark hammer has fallen upon us!
« Reply #660 on: October 24, 2016, 10:53:37 pm »

Hmm. If nothing else, I've known several people who experience dysphoria differently. I've known people who are deeply upset about their body and/or the role society put them in, or who have a fundamental feeling that their body isn't "right". I know other people who'd just prefer to have a different body or role, so they change and experiment until they find something that they like... like adopting a new style of clothes or getting a new haircut. No doubt there's shades between these, and others who experience it differently than either.

We can't know anyone else's mind, so we have to trust people's self-assessment. Still, sometimes I wonder if the Hardcore Dysphoria is just a reaction against the aggressive gender policing that happens in some religious or cultural circles. In some places, it wouldn't be enough to just have a preference to tweak their body, or to want to dress in a different way than their culture deems appropriate for their assigned gender role. In cases like that, I could see someone using that kind of Dysphoria to "justify" their identity in a way those people would accept.

Same stuff happens with gay folks, being forced to justify an open sexuality as some clear-cut biological or fundamental difference in their sexuality, rather than just being an interest or preference. Wish we could just generally let people love who they want to love at any given time, without slapping labels on it. Sexualities and Gender Identities and all that change as people live and grow, and learn about themselves. I worry that talking about them in terms of absolute labels and fundamental traits might make people think less of folks who change ore redefine them as they come to understand themselves better.
« Last Edit: October 24, 2016, 10:59:05 pm by Solifuge »
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GamesTweets

Quote from: Sonnet: Against Entropy
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Say what you mean. Bear witness. Iterate.

Rolan7

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Re: Gender/sexuality etc. - The dark hammer has fallen upon us!
« Reply #661 on: October 24, 2016, 11:02:54 pm »

I just played a pretty IF game about dysmorphia.  It's a bit heavy handed with the symbolism but not too bad, some people might like it.

At first I thought it was being judgemental of my choices but actually, probably not.  I think I was projecting my self-resentment on it!  And a game that can give me a bit of introspection like that isn't so bad, particularly a short one.

Does take a while to load though, lots of animated gifs and music.  https://fallingawkwardly.wordpress.com/games-by-me/
(It's the same person who LP'd Witcher and analyzed the "love interests" so comedically)
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Solifuge

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Re: Gender/sexuality etc. - The dark hammer has fallen upon us!
« Reply #662 on: October 25, 2016, 12:53:46 am »

Oof. Some of the content itself was feels-inducing to the point of being emotionally difficult... but I liked the experience. Played through, and got the 4 endings. Loved the artistry, particularly the duality in the visuals and scroll-over text. Feeling a bit melancholy, but thank you for sharing it.

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GamesTweets

Quote from: Sonnet: Against Entropy
Regret, by definition, comes too late;
Say what you mean. Bear witness. Iterate.

alway

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Re: Gender/sexuality etc. - The dark hammer has fallen upon us!
« Reply #663 on: October 25, 2016, 01:06:13 am »

The Ace is typically the wild card. The smallest and largest and in Tarot the Ace are typically the hero.
As a noun, ace can refer to playing cards, but as an adjective, it's more clear about connotation. As in an ace pilot or similar. Whose etymology comes from the fact that aces are often the most valuable card. So yeah, ace is a term which generally has very positive connotation to it.
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scriver

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Re: Gender/sexuality etc. - The dark hammer has fallen upon us!
« Reply #664 on: October 25, 2016, 01:12:26 am »

To me, it has extreme douche connotations. Anyone who would unironically use the word ace about themselves would get a huge "can you believe this guy?" marker in my internal person register.
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Edmus

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Re: Gender/sexuality etc. - The dark hammer has fallen upon us!
« Reply #665 on: October 25, 2016, 03:01:45 am »

Same goes for any positive descriptor though. Who non-ironically calls themselves cool?
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scriver

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Re: Gender/sexuality etc. - The dark hammer has fallen upon us!
« Reply #666 on: October 25, 2016, 05:10:50 am »

...I have several times described myself as cool when it's a bit chilly...
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Catmeat

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Re: Gender/sexuality etc. - The dark hammer has fallen upon us!
« Reply #667 on: October 25, 2016, 05:21:12 am »

Same goes for any positive descriptor though. Who non-ironically calls themselves cool?
* takes bait
I'm cool.
Not even joking. Sure I can be negative and shy, but I can make friends and make people laugh easily.
*hmm should I post this.. am I..
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Sergarr

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Re: Gender/sexuality etc. - The dark hammer has fallen upon us!
« Reply #668 on: October 25, 2016, 05:30:12 am »

Same goes for any positive descriptor though. Who non-ironically calls themselves cool?
What if it can be factually confirmed? *temperature drops*

Although, yes, I usually try to stop flattering myself by occasionally reminding me of my numerous embarrassing failures in the past, as well as the tremendous number of things that I have no idea about.
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Edmus

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Re: Gender/sexuality etc. - The dark hammer has fallen upon us!
« Reply #669 on: October 25, 2016, 06:20:35 am »

Scriver, I think if there's a humorous bent to it, its something you can get away with; people expect a twist, even when it's a painfully obvious pun.


I usually try to stop flattering myself by occasionally reminding me of my numerous embarrassing failures in the past, as well as the tremendous number of things that I have no idea about.
I wish I had this problem. I'm constantly assaulting myself with regrets.

My brother once suggested something he titled "the vanity game." Which is to ironically act as if you are incredible in every aspect; you can imagine the over the top delivery. hehehe
It's remarkably good for the self esteem, and only mildly annoying.
"Hey Brady, you know what's great?"
*sighs* "It wouldn't happen to be you, would it?"   
"I was going to say modern medical advances, but THANK YOU~!"
Not something if your self esteem is already solid, but I recommend it if you're in a deficit.

To round off the sleep deprived rave, I would say that be cool is to be respected.
To feel cool you need self respect/esteem, which is where I'd guess you're coming from Catmeat.
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Catmeat

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Re: Gender/sexuality etc. - The dark hammer has fallen upon us!
« Reply #670 on: October 25, 2016, 07:07:15 am »

Well I just treat people like they actually matter (they dont im a sociopath) and they return respect.
Though my self esteem is still low, Im getting better and so on so forth.

Most the time im day dreaming in my own world and ignore humans, even ones I'm interested in because of my perceived low self worth, but sometimes, I switch to my other personality and it goes for it.

Then they realise Im too much, ahh such is the life for someone who wears their heart on their sleeve.

I dont get it, if I was shown the amount of love I give, I wouldnt run away.
Makes me think im never going to find this 'love' thing, or if it even exisits
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TempAcc

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Re: Gender/sexuality etc. - The dark hammer has fallen upon us!
« Reply #671 on: October 25, 2016, 07:47:00 am »

I treat people however they want to be treated, mostly. One transwoman who actualy consulted with me was pleasantly surprised (or at least it seemed like so) I used female pronous with her, though I did in fact recognize she used to be a man. As long as people are respectful and abide by the basic rules of social interaction, I'm ok with it, even when my inner workings keep telling me that a person I keep calling a woman is actualy a man or whatever, and thats not exactly something any amount of social conditioning can take away, and its not something I can willingly turn off either (I tried it, didn't work).
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Dozeb˘m Lolumzalýs

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Re: Gender/sexuality etc. - The dark hammer has fallen upon us!
« Reply #672 on: October 26, 2016, 08:09:22 am »

I think that's the most important part when interacting with transpeople anyhow.

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I don't even need to play the game, it's already hit me in the feels
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Catmeat

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Re: Gender/sexuality etc. - The dark hammer has fallen upon us!
« Reply #673 on: October 26, 2016, 08:31:38 am »

I don't even need to play the game, it's already hit me in the feels
Yeah I hate when I accidently hit my feels, hurts so much.
Such a strange lingering pain... feelings that is..
Ehh hem
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Dozeb˘m Lolumzalýs

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Re: Gender/sexuality etc. - The dark hammer has fallen upon us!
« Reply #674 on: October 27, 2016, 03:34:24 pm »

So since this is the thread where Sergarr posted the Dark Pact:

Seems pretty cool, but I doubt it would work for me - I can't remember any "various good and pretty [things]... that [I] keep separated from myself." However, with the Power of Thought, I think I might be able to modify it.

The feeling that I got from your description was that the "inner-ness" was reversed, with "you" being surrounded by the inner-self, and with a semipermeable membrane between them. (Err, sorry, biology class getting to me.) Is that what you were trying to describe, or did I put my own spin on it?
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Quote from: King James Programming
...Simplification leaves us with the black extra-cosmic gulfs it throws open before our frenzied eyes...
Quote from: SalvanÚ Descocrates
The only difference between me and a fool is that I know that I know only that I think, therefore I am.
Sigtext!
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