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Author Topic: Gender/sexuality etc. - What Even Is A Gender Anyway  (Read 130004 times)

hops

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Re: Gender/sexuality etc. - The dark hammer has fallen upon us!
« Reply #555 on: October 21, 2016, 07:26:25 am »

Remember to say "Bi the way"
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she/her. (Pronouns vary over time.) The artist formerly known as Objective/Cinder.

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Catmeat

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Re: Gender/sexuality etc. - The dark hammer has fallen upon us!
« Reply #556 on: October 21, 2016, 08:00:25 am »

I love you Cinder
« Last Edit: October 21, 2016, 08:16:49 am by Catmeat »
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Puns are social lubricant.
Too much and you lose sensation

Sergarr

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Re: Gender/sexuality etc. - The dark hammer has fallen upon us!
« Reply #557 on: October 21, 2016, 08:33:37 am »

Anyways, anybody want some of dat shaolin sex?
shaolin is bullshit
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TheBiggerFish

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Re: Gender/sexuality etc. - The dark hammer has fallen upon us!
« Reply #558 on: October 21, 2016, 08:34:10 am »

Anyways, anybody want some of dat shaolin sex?
shaolin is bullshit
*is kinda confused by all of this :v*
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Sergarr

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Re: Gender/sexuality etc. - The dark hammer has fallen upon us!
« Reply #559 on: October 21, 2016, 08:36:51 am »

Anyways, anybody want some of dat shaolin sex?
shaolin is bullshit
*is kinda confused by all of this :v*
Me too, this was kind of the best making-at-least-some-sense response I could think of.

anyway shaolin is bullshit lucid dreaming is where it's at
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TheBiggerFish

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Re: Gender/sexuality etc. - The dark hammer has fallen upon us!
« Reply #560 on: October 21, 2016, 08:37:31 am »

If only I dreamt.  Of anything :v
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Rolan7

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Re: Gender/sexuality etc. - The dark hammer has fallen upon us!
« Reply #561 on: October 21, 2016, 08:38:50 am »

I'll be honest.  Im im the sexuality threads and I came out to my friends..  they laughed at me...  saying they already knew I was Bi.
Holy fuck...  its such a big weight off me now.
I feel so free.
Thanks Neon!
That's awesome!
That's how it went for me too, pretty much.  I thought I didn't need to tell them, until I did, and yeah it was like a weight being removed.
And I no longer felt like I was lying every time lgbt stuff came up in discussions.

They mostly knew because I kept hinting at it to gauge their reactions though lol
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She/they
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This one didn't want to be who they was. On the Surface – it was a dull, unconsidered sadness. But everything changed. Which implied everything could change.

Catmeat

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Re: Gender/sexuality etc. - The dark hammer has fallen upon us!
« Reply #562 on: October 21, 2016, 08:47:34 am »

I'll be honest.  Im im the sexuality threads and I came out to my friends..  they laughed at me...  saying they already knew I was Bi.
Holy fuck...  its such a big weight off me now.
I feel so free.
Thanks Neon!
That's awesome!
That's how it went for me too, pretty much.  I thought I didn't need to tell them, until I did, and yeah it was like a weight being removed.
And I no longer felt like I was lying every time lgbt stuff came up in discussions.

They mostly knew because I kept hinting at it to gauge their reactions though lol
Ahaha its a great feeling isnt it!!
My best friend didnt even flinch..  though I should tell hin when im sober.
Ahh who cares,  I dont need to worry about it.  Its out there now!
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Puns are social lubricant.
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Sergarr

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Re: Gender/sexuality etc. - The dark hammer has fallen upon us!
« Reply #563 on: October 21, 2016, 10:08:25 am »

If only I dreamt.  Of anything :v
that's not a problem

you just have to learn how to lucid dream while being awake

it involves separating away a part of your mind that you value the most though, so it's a kind of like a Dark Pact

but you'll still be on speaking terms so it's okay

I'll be honest.  Im im the sexuality threads and I came out to my friends..  they laughed at me...  saying they already knew I was Bi.
Holy fuck...  its such a big weight off me now.
I feel so free.
Thanks Neon!
That's awesome!
That's how it went for me too, pretty much.  I thought I didn't need to tell them, until I did, and yeah it was like a weight being removed.
And I no longer felt like I was lying every time lgbt stuff came up in discussions.

They mostly knew because I kept hinting at it to gauge their reactions though lol
yeah I've been feeling unusually free after spilling my beans here a few days ago

freedom is one hell of a drug
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Rolan7

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Re: Gender/sexuality etc. - The dark hammer has fallen upon us!
« Reply #564 on: October 21, 2016, 10:16:22 am »

If only I dreamt.  Of anything :v
I think I've already suggested this, but just in case:  I find eating something cheesy and oily like pizza right before bed *always* gives me trippy, vivid dreams.  Often a bit feverish and unrestful though.

yeah I've been feeling unusually free after spilling my beans here a few days ago

freedom is one hell of a drug
I'm really glad (:
I felt even better once I did so with meatspace friends, but...  Uh, I guess you live in Russia?  Sorry if this is rude, but it's very dangerous to be openly non-binary there isn't it? ):

The important thing is that your friends know, wherever they are.  I mean heck, I didn't tell my friends in *person*, we only meet in meatspace like twice a year since I moved.  Yet we talk most days.
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She/they
No justice: no peace.
Quote from: Fallen London, one Unthinkable Hope
This one didn't want to be who they was. On the Surface – it was a dull, unconsidered sadness. But everything changed. Which implied everything could change.

Sergarr

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Re: Gender/sexuality etc. - The dark hammer has fallen upon us!
« Reply #565 on: October 21, 2016, 10:48:18 am »

yeah I've been feeling unusually free after spilling my beans here a few days ago

freedom is one hell of a drug
I'm really glad (:
I felt even better once I did so with meatspace friends, but...  Uh, I guess you live in Russia?  Sorry if this is rude, but it's very dangerous to be openly non-binary there isn't it? ):

The important thing is that your friends know, wherever they are.  I mean heck, I didn't tell my friends in *person*, we only meet in meatspace like twice a year since I moved.  Yet we talk most days.
Yes, I think it is indeed somewhat dangerous to come out openly in here; thankfully (for the purpose of "not getting beat up"), I don't really have any meatspace friends, and I currently barely have any Russian acquaintances outside of the people in my university, who don't count as even potential friends because they have either displayed zero interest in the overwhelming majority of the stuff I'm interested in, or evidently regularly visit 4chan and are insufferable douchebags. There is one possible exception here, but that person is hanging out all the time with the "insufferable douchebags" group, so I'm kind of not really interested.

Basically, the 95+% of my active social circle is, well, here and on that one other English-speaking forum, which I basically treat as a war zone because it's a rather aggressive place. It wasn't always like that, I used to be pretty regularly visiting some other Russian-language places, but I got too damn tired of the many, many trolls of various kinds being allowed to just constantly say ugly stuff to everyone around them, so I kind of totally quit even going there.

Anyway, what am I saying is that coming out here was basically almost as close to coming out to my friends as I can get.
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hops

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Re: Gender/sexuality etc. - The dark hammer has fallen upon us!
« Reply #566 on: October 21, 2016, 12:29:04 pm »

If only I dreamt.  Of anything :v
Not to be a pedant but everyone dreams. It's just a matter of you not remembering it.
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she/her. (Pronouns vary over time.) The artist formerly known as Objective/Cinder.

One True Polycule with flame99 <3

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Re: Gender/sexuality etc. - The dark hammer has fallen upon us!
« Reply #567 on: October 21, 2016, 12:37:37 pm »

Androids don't dream. Except maybe of electric sheep?
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Solifuge

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Re: Gender/sexuality etc. - The dark hammer has fallen upon us!
« Reply #568 on: October 21, 2016, 05:13:42 pm »

Spoiler: Expand for Quotes: (click to show/hide)

Reelya, I'm not 100% sure I follow you on why people need to know the whole system to understand any one part of it, or why that's any different than it already is? The idea was that we get 1 step more specific than Man/Male and Woman/Female without abandoning their existing meanings, and reform "Gay/Straight/Bi" to work for non-binary folks. The medical-sounding long form words were intentionally clinical, since they describe the state of someone's body or mind. I agree that it needs shorthand words for some new concepts (gynophilic and androphilic are already the terms we're using for non-binary Sexual Orientations), but old shorthand words still work in that system. For example, "Gay Guy" would apply to any Androphilic Man, regardless of their body's Sex (Male, Female, etc.) or their additional preferences (say if they're into Girly Males and are Andro-Feminophilic).

For the "also" part, and in response to Caz and DL...



When thinking about reforming our ideas about gender and sex, I think it's important to keep it relevant to the average person, and to build on ideas they already know. There's a reason that singular "They" is the most common pronoun-of-choice for androgynous or genderqueer folks, while earlier attempts to use "Ze/Hir" didn't take off as well outside of LGBT folks and allies. It's similar to the reason Esperanto never took off as a constructed language either. People prefer to use tools they're familiar with, including language. Also, ideas need to relate to something concrete or important, and for people we're evaluating as patients or as partners, that's often our bodies and our behavior.

Male and Female are good anchors, which is why I use them to describe Physical Sex. Feminine and Masculine are less solid anchors, since they're cultural ideals and vary from person to person. Still, it helps to have a word to separate the Masculine Gender Role (Man) from the XY or Androgenic Body (Male), and the Feminine Gender Role (Woman) from the XX or Estrogenic Body (Female).

Speaking of which, I do think it's relevant to doctors and potential partners to expand beyond Male, Female, and Intersex as definitions for bodies. We have both Primary (genetic) and Secondary (hormonal) sex characteristics as people, and trans and intersex people may have Secondary traits which don't match their Primary ones due to hormones or surgery. Working off that mess I posted earlier, here's some charts that define the kinds of Physical Sexes there are, without distancing it from ideas people are familiar with. I'm skipping a Gender Chart since they're arbitrary, but there's an Orientation Chart that sort of covers it too.

Also they're color coded by their relationship to the binary, because I love y'all too. :Y

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TheBiggerFish

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Re: Gender/sexuality etc. - The dark hammer has fallen upon us!
« Reply #569 on: October 22, 2016, 11:41:44 am »

If only I dreamt.  Of anything :v
Not to be a pedant but everyone dreams. It's just a matter of you not remembering it.
If you can never observe a thing, did it happen?

@Rolan:I generally eat pizza every single night and don't dream a whit.  :v
My diet is kinda shot, isn't it.  Wrong thread for that though!

@Sergarr:Teach meeeeeeee

@Sergarr, one post later:*hugs*

@Solifuge:I was literally about to link https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Androphilia_and_gynephilia

Thrn I read your post.
« Last Edit: October 22, 2016, 11:44:35 am by TheBiggerFish »
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