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Author Topic: Who else talks to their dwarves?  (Read 1187 times)

Infinityforce

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Who else talks to their dwarves?
« on: October 01, 2016, 07:45:25 am »

When that dwarf can't hear you screaming at the monitor.... But you still want to warn them of the were-chupacabra, or tell them off for leaving a sock in a door

when a Dwarf does something wrong/incorrect I like to yell:
"NO! DON'T DO THAT!"  - I shout this in my head literally hundreds of times per session, along with "WHY ARE YOU DOING THAT?!"

when a Dwarf in combat I shout:
"BLOCK WITH YOUR SHIELD MOTHERFU**ER! DODGE! BITE HIM!"

to dwarves working in workshops I like to encourage their creativity by whispering to them:
"Keep working hard Urist. Make another masterwork for your fort. You make everyone happy to be around your creations. Keep it up."
I like to think it motivates them and improves productivity.

and to sleeping dwarves
"Sleep tight little dwarf. Tomorrow you may be eaten by a dragon. But more like than not you will labour, hard, for industry is your life. Take rest while you can"
I also imagine that dwarves dream, for example, about FB attacks, other dwarves, history, the future, etc.

and I like to eulogise dead dwarves
"you were not strong enough. perhaps it is better that you are gone." (whilst surveying coffins)
or "You were just a child/farmer, but that FB is gone now, and so are you. We will commemorate your death" (over the site of a FB's victim, where bloodstains are splattered)
and "it's your own fault for falling in the river. Do you really think I'm going to send dwarves to fish out your corpse now? I hope you like slabs" (zooming to the location of a drowned dwarf)

or to a (dead) famed warrior
"Go now to your eternal rest. You have earned it by laying down your life in defense of the fort and your brothers and sisters. May the Gods rest your dwarven soul."

edit: not just dwarves either. I talk to/shout at goblins, kobolds, ravens, sparrow men, dogs, alpacas, and cavern nasties. also I scream at FBs ("Noooooooooooooo" etc.)

Billy Jack

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Re: Who else talks to their dwarves?
« Reply #1 on: October 07, 2016, 04:48:01 pm »

Other than the standard "What/Where the h*ll are you doing/going" the one time I really yelled at a dwarf was when I was attacked by a dragon.

My military was small but was armored in Mithril (playing MW). Essentially it was just two.

The dragon showed up and the two were sent to engage the enemy. Halfway to the battle, one (dwarf B we'll call him) decided that he didn't have enough booze in his waterskin so he peeled off to go get some more. Dwarf A (I'm guessing you can agree that this is the other one) attacked the dragon with great vigor, fighting for the safety of her friends and family in the fortress.

The battle lasted for many days as Dwarf B decided that he needed a snack, attend a party, have a nap, drink again, and eat again (Drink, Eat, Rave, Repeat) before heading out to see how things were going.

Dwarf A had fought the dragon to a standstill and both were exhausted. Taking a swing at each other every now and then and then collapsing in exhaustion. As you can probably foretell, Dwarf B did a merry skip up to the dragon and delivered the killing blow. He will be remembered as the great dragon slayer with many carvings and decorations dedicated to his great victory.

Dwarf A suffered many cuts/bruises and what not but left the battle with all four limbs attached and covered in blood and core. Dwarf B left in a spotless uniform to go celebrate his victory with his family and friends. Another party was thrown for Dwarf B, while Dwarf A grabbed a bite and caught up on some much needed rest.

Only the heavens above (me) know what truly happened and Dwarf B, with all his skill from training, became a hauler for the remainder of his days.
« Last Edit: October 07, 2016, 04:50:39 pm by Billy Jack »
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Give a dwarf a fish, you feed him for a season.
Give a dwarf a Fishpond, couple of buckets, build a Fishery, and enable Fishfarming labor; you feed him for a lifetime. (And get someone to clean and prep the fish)

Splint

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Re: Who else talks to their dwarves?
« Reply #2 on: October 07, 2016, 05:19:28 pm »

I have, on occasion. Particularly to soldiers when fighting things I'd much prefer they hit in the face, not the torso for the 20th time.

evictedSaint

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Re: Who else talks to their dwarves?
« Reply #3 on: October 09, 2016, 09:08:29 am »

Not often, but on occassion I'll find myself saying

"Follow your orders.  Follow your ordersFOLLOW your FUCKING ORDERS, FOLLOW YOUR FUCKING ORDERS, FOLLOW - "

ReynTheLord

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Re: Who else talks to their dwarves?
« Reply #4 on: October 29, 2016, 08:55:36 pm »

I tend to say things like:

"Sure, keep mandating your Fucking beds you piece of shit, At least you're not mandating something I can't do"

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME? AFRAID OF (Insert something stupid here)? REALLY?"

"NOBODY EXPECTS THE GOBLIN INQUISITION, EXCEPT FOR ME, YOUR GLORIOUS OVERSEER, WHO LAYS DOWN ALL THE CAGE TRAPS!"

"More cage traps! YES!"

"WHY IS HAULING THINGS APPARENTLY AT THE TOP OF YOUR "TO DO" LIST, URIST MC DICKALL?"

"We're fighting
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
with  a possibility of recruiting them in adventure mode. what is this, Urist, McGami Tensei?"
"Oh sure, occupy the _______ With your strange mood. Not like I was going to use it."
"WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK ARE YOU DOING?"
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I am currently trying to comprehend what sick, mad, dwarven mind came up with the fortress name "Lancefondled", because it wasn't me.