Back in March...Agent B.F. Udelle broadcasted the word for slime throughout the world! [Brain: 1+2] Various slime-related phenomena are reported, especially in television-rich regions.
Now in April...Agent Bill Billson approaches the world heavyweight champion to a fistfight, preaching the virtues of the alien overlords apparent!
Bill punches the champion, but the champion blocks the attack! The champion counters solidly, staggering Bill! [Bill/Buff: 1+2, Champion/Buff: 6+1] Bill accidentally cursed the aliens this round... [Blitz: 2+0-1]
The champion swings at Bill, and Bill manages to avoid the punch entirely! [Champion/Buff: 1+1, Bill/Buff: 2+2] Bill recovers from the earlier gaffe, eloquently praising the aliens! [Blitz: 6+0]
With renewed strength, Bill furiously punches the champion, and the champion falls over! [Bill/Buff: 4+2, Champion/Buff: 4+1] The champion struggles to get back up. Bill continues praising the aliens, but the attempt falls flat this time.
The champion shakily attacks Bill, but Bill pre-emptively strikes back! [Champion/Buff: 1+1, Bill/Buff: 5+2] Bill has beaten the champion!
Agent B.F Udelle senses a powerful time distortion. Could it be that sl = s1 = s+1 = t? Could it be that slime=time?
Eric Erickson tells the zombies that they are free to join to promote zombie rights. Zombies and "zombies" have become available for recruitment. [Beauty: 6-2] Erickson also attempts to talk to the ghost. [Brain: 5+2+1, Beauty: 2-2+1] The ghost seems to be deeply offended by the newspapers' and Erickson's behavior and insists that it is, in fact, invisible. It also tears out and burns a few pages on ghosts.
Oziiz politely asks for rollerblades, and the elves oblige, giving Oziiz rocket rollerblades! [Beauty: 4+2] While on the excessively long journey, Oziiz spies a massive underground cavity before the tunnel turns cold and Oziiz hears a loud HO HO HO.
The Infiltrator tests out cloaking prototypes on planes and humans [Brain: 3+2] and finds that they work slightly better for humans than for planes [4]. The Infiltrator refines the cloaking technology further, making it even more awesome in general. [Brain: 3+2] The Infiltrator has sent a criminal band off to rob an Australian bank. The criminals manage to sneak into the building without drawing suspicion [Blitz: 4+0+1, Beauty: 3+0] and enter the vault, silencing all alarms, [Brain: 6+0, Blitz: 4+0+1] and carry off plenty of money [Buff: 3+0], On the way out, a banker manages not to see them a few steps away[Banker/Blitz: 1+0], but a bystander spots them! [Gang/Blitz: 2+0+1] The gang run off as quickly as possible [Buff: 5+0] and manage to lose their pursuers after an hours-long chase! [Blitz: 3+0+1] The gang reports in and spends the better part of the month counting money. [Brain: 2+0] They report 30000 pounds.
The Infiltrator selects as many documents as possible to leak to Australian citizens, but they seem to be more outraged by the leak! [Beauty: 1+0] Mobs have organized in search of the Infiltrator, but they seem confined to the coasts, far from the warehouse.
John Johnson discovers the mind-controlling effects of Tylenol! Johnson bravely launches an investigation of [Brain: 6+0] and finds that he is the missing third Johnson of Johnson & Johnson! A shiver of lawyers offering to represent intrepid agent Johnson has started appearing around the squad headquarters. Maybe mind control could neutralize their steep prices?
Agent E.B. Guvegrra successfully arranges for U2 missiles to have space for Pet Rocks. [Brain: 3] Guvegrra has also sent an Elvis pre-enactor to Hollywood to replace the real Elvis, and the real Elvis will almost certainly lose a wonderful career opportunity. [Beauty: 6-1] Guvegrra's plot to get better submarines is unfortunately torpedoed by suspicious folk. [Brain: 2+0] Finally, Guvegrra plays radio telescope chicken with planes, but this is too quickly covered up. [Blitz: 1+1]
A month passes by.
Then in May, 1960The American census fails miserably this year as an unexpected number of legally dead folk participate. Holding a census on April Fools' Day is blamed for this.
AgentsName: [Infiltrator of Society] (Human?)
Buff: -2
Blitz: +2
Brains: +2
Beauty: +0
Name: Agent B.F. Udelle (Human)
Buff: -1
Blitz: +1
Brain: +2
Beauty: 0
Name: Agent Oziiz (Human)
Buff: +0
Blitz: -2
Brains: +2
Beauty: +2
Name: Gerald (Human?)
Buff: -2
Blitz: 0
Brains: +2
Beauty: +2
Name: Agent Bill Billson (Human)
Buff: +2
Blitz: 0
Brains: -2
Beauty: 0
Name: Agent Aigre the Amorous (Human)
Buff: +0
Blitz: +0
Brains: +0
Beauty: +2
Name: Agent E.B. Guvegrra (Human)
Buff: +2
Blitz: +1 (somewhat useful with it)
Brains: ±0 (and not dumb muscle)
Beauty: -1 (just a little bit... inelegant and inarticulate)
Name: Eric Erickson (Human)
Buff: 0
Blitz: +2
Brains: +2
Beauty: -2
Name: Tazur Draukin (☟︎◆︎❍︎♋︎■︎)
Buff: +2
Blitz: +1
Brain: +3
Beauty: -3
Name: John Johnson (Human)
Buff: -1
Blitz: +1
Brain: 0
Beauty: +2
Author
Topic: Shady Conspiracy Squad [10/30] May, 1960 (Read 3271 times)