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Author Topic: The Space Pathfinder  (Read 527 times)

Burnup

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The Space Pathfinder
« on: February 13, 2017, 01:55:31 pm »

Years ago, a group of friends started a custom tabletop Pathfinder campaign. It was so successful, we continued for 4-5 more years. This campaign is now paused, as players move away / life catches up to them.

I decided to begin writing our adventures from the beginning a few years ago, and have since dropped the project. Now I'm back to it, trying to continue from notes where I left off.

This story begins in one of my most successful Dwarf fortresses I've ever built, and went further into unintended directions than I ever could have imagined. Please enjoy and leave feedback.

For the sake of format and dodging a text wall, the story is posted on a fan fiction website through this link:
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9436263/1/The-Space-Pathfinder

Let me know what you think.
See you on the other side.
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Daren Kazzarch

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Re: The Space Pathfinder
« Reply #1 on: February 13, 2017, 04:43:33 pm »

enjoyed: check
left feedback: in progres

Nice begining, very action packed. I'm no native english speaker, so just don't take my word for it, but outside of the action scene the constant use of the present time feels out of place.
It's a tiny bit irritating that the change in perspective and time jumps are compleatly unanounced, exept for the occasional date. Though i like to imagine that the time jumps are lapses in attention of the curent charakter, if it is reasonable to expect it. Like the suddenly finished meal.
I like how you present information tho the reader as it come, without excessively trying to hint at what's to come. Few things discurage me from reading further, as the feeling of knowing, what i will be reading about in the next few pages, does.

Will definitly add this to my reading list. Do you have a release schedule in mind or is it just whenever you get to it?
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Burnup

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Re: The Space Pathfinder
« Reply #2 on: February 13, 2017, 05:12:36 pm »

Thank you for the feedback!

The first person perspective is a challenge I self imposed at the time to strengthen my writing skills. I will be going forward allowing myself more freedom in this regard. There are currently 3 and a half chapters written, and 7 more outlined.

Chapter 3 will be released once I can get it off my old hard drive. (In the next two weeks.)  My pc pooped a week ago. Typing on a phone at the moment. My goal is to get a chapter done each month.

In the unreleased edited edition I fix the unannounced character changes. And rectify some (hopefully all) the jarring time transfers.

Also, chapter 2 drawled on longer than I wanted. I've since cut off some and put it into chapter 3.

Action is a core theme in this story, and I will try to tone down the in-between day to day tasks. Chapter 2 was supposed to be an introduction chapter, but in first person is difficult to do.

I will announce here once chapter 3 is uploaded, I hope you continue following and enjoying!
« Last Edit: February 13, 2017, 05:15:07 pm by Burnup »
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