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Author Topic: Spamwizard! Beorgl the Crisp!  (Read 2091 times)

Iituem

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Spamwizard! Beorgl the Crisp!
« on: March 20, 2017, 07:14:23 pm »

On the proviso that this will be dropped at the end of March or passed onto another GM (unlike Wands Race, which will be picked back up later if not concluded), let's try a quick SPAM game!  [Be ready for this to die an inglorious death!]

Rather than a king or warlord ruling through righteous authority or force of arms, you are a wizard seeking to forge their destiny!  Unfortunately, the world has absolutely gone to the dogs; the old Empire has crumbled, warlords are roving the land carving out fiefdoms and monsters have crawled up out of the earth to feast upon humanity.  Terrible times, but great for an opportunist like yourself!  But first, we must learn who you are:

Name: [preferably something sensible]

Background: Who are you, and how did you get into wizardry?

A - University student:  A member of the elite course of academic magic in the finest city of the Empire, you secured a place and a scholarship by dint of your intelligence and enthusiasm.  Your long university career has left you book-smart and well read, but perhaps not the wisest in the ways of the world.  During a field expedition beyond the Empire's borders, everything went to hell.

B - Battlemage:  You started out as an officer in the Imperial Army, fighting for glory against rebels and traitors, when you were discovered as having a knack for magic.  The Empire paid for your tuition in the military's school for battlemages and you retained your former rank.  You were on a mission to stamp out a rogue wizard for the Empire when everything went to hell and monsters ate the rest of your team.

C - Merchant:  You were born into wealth and comfort as the heir of a banking and shipping dynasty.  You learnt the arts of business and dealmaking, buying spellbooks and learning from them and a few select tutors in your spare time.  On your way to inspect some of your dynasty's distant holdings, everything went to hell.

D - Nobility:  You were born the third-in-line to a county, educated in politics and leadership, duelling befitting a noble, and had a private tutor in magic who taught you alongside your other lessons.  When everything went to hell, you alone escaped the devastation of your fief.

E - Brigand:  You became an outlaw, preferring the freedom and thievery of the life and also having little choice on account of your various crimes.  Banding together with other ne'er-do-wells, you made friends with an exiled mage who taught you everything you know shortly before everything went to hell and he (and the rest of your band) died.

F - Peasant:  You were born with the spark of magic - onto a pig farm with no prospects and no money.  You learnt the value of hard labour and how to work the land, and you had recently started your apprenticeship with the village witch to learn a thing or two about herblore and how to control your innate gift when everything went to hell.

Skills: You're on your own with nothing but you, your magic and your skills.  But there's one skill you excel in.
A - Martial
B - Negotiation
C - Lore
D - Leadership

Magic:  You have been trained in one field of magic in particular, and that is where your strengths lie.

A - Abjuration.  You're good at sealing entrances, summoning shields and protections and binding spirits when you find them.
B - Conjuration.  You're good at summoning objects and creatures out of thin air.
C - Divination.  You're good at seeing things at a distance, or through time.
D - Enchantment.  You're good at messing with people's minds.
E - Evocation.  You're good at destroying things with channelled energies.
F - Illusion.  You're good at making things appear to be what they're not.
G - Necromancy.  You're good at channelling the powers of life and death.
H - Transmutation.  You're good at altering the properties of materials and objects.
I - Generalist.  What speciality?  You learnt a little of everything, and you don't excel at anything.
« Last Edit: March 27, 2017, 08:49:58 pm by Iituem »
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Let's Play Arcanum: Of Steamworks & Magic Obscura! - The adventures of Jack Hunt, gentleman rogue.

No slaughtering every man, woman and child we see just to teleport to the moon.

Blood_Librarian

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Re: Spamwizard!
« Reply #1 on: March 20, 2017, 07:29:06 pm »

Name: Byorgl

Background: byrogil be one o' de fheenest  of da besht BAGICANS der' be, born in a woorl' of poor-nesh an' hunghery, Byorgol took da nameh of da leg-end-dairy  BIORGIL! Da stongest and besthest of the magehs evea to leev, and thus was taht by hees besh friend Magois of da best sorchery and witchary-dry der is.

F- Byoldol was a fief-dohm farhmer eve' his birth in da ol' barn.

B- Byorglo hashes a wey wit talkin' and speakin' down da besh of de besh down t' hish reazinnig.

E- BYORG ISHH BESH BURN MAHHN! byorgol makhs th' de'liest firre an' knos th' the besh spells. Evochkathshun spellsh.
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I continue to be puzzled by BL's attempts to make Aratam blatantly evil

Iituem

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Re: Spamwizard!
« Reply #2 on: March 20, 2017, 08:23:12 pm »

You are Beorgl, or possibly Byroggle or Bygrol.  You were named after the greatest magician to ever live, you.  You grew up in your village as a strong lad, smart enough to know the right end of a plow to drag (well, after you had a bit of help) and know a thing or two about farming and animal husbandry.

You are exceedingly smart, having been taught to read, and can even understand complex words like 'example' and 'treadmill', provided you have a bit of time to take a run up at them.  Why, you can even write your own name!  Sometimes the spelling changes, but sometimes the name does too.

You are a superb negotiator, finding that so long as you stick to making the same demands people eventually give in, even if you have to follow them and keep talking for hours.  You once kept negotiating for three days until Old Woman Mackle sold you that cow.

You are exceedingly good at destroying things, being a highly skilled evo- kevco- vococo- burning man.  You can break things using lightning, thunder, ice, but you are particularly good at setting things on fire.


Relevant to this, your village is currently on fire.  You returned after a trip to the woods to pick mushrooms and found that everything was burnt to the ground, everybody seems to be eaten or burnt to death, and you can just see what appears to be a dragon flying off to the mountains with two of your prize bulls gripped in its claws.  You should probably do something about... any of this.

A - Go West, to the local baron's manor and seek his aid with this dragon nonsense.

B - Go South, to the nearby woods and take shelter there, dragons are scary.

C - Go East, off towards the big city, and see if any of them know anything about this.

D - Go North, to the mountains where that dragon's flying.

E - Stay Put and see if anything survived in the village.
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Let's Play Arcanum: Of Steamworks & Magic Obscura! - The adventures of Jack Hunt, gentleman rogue.

No slaughtering every man, woman and child we see just to teleport to the moon.

FallacyofUrist

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Re: Spamwizard!
« Reply #3 on: March 20, 2017, 08:24:24 pm »

Go North. Just because a dragon breathes fire doesn't mean it's immune to it, right?
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Generic Arms Race.

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Puppyguard

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Re: Spamwizard!
« Reply #4 on: March 20, 2017, 09:59:07 pm »

"EYYY! Thosh are mah bullsh!" D - Go North and chase that dragon down!
Well the dragon probably takes 90% less damage from fire of any type.
We are skilled in ice and lightning so let's use those instead of fire.
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NUKE9.13

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Re: Spamwizard!
« Reply #5 on: March 21, 2017, 02:31:22 am »

Hmm, hmm, what a stunningly original setting! (jk I am obviously flattered)

I feel like chasing down a dragon may be a good way to end the game, at least at our current skill level. Perhaps we can salvage something from the remnants of our village?

E
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Iituem

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Re: Spamwizard!
« Reply #6 on: March 21, 2017, 02:50:48 am »

Those are your prize bulls that flying lizard just took!  You head North to get them back, or at least some satisfaction.  You head on up towards the foothills that lead to the mountains.  With your keen peasant senses you catch sight up ahead of a series of rough men and women, all garbed in ratty clothes and holding rocks, cudgels and tools like billhooks, machetes and flails.  It looks like they are all hiding off the main path, concealed in various hiding spots.

You could:

A: Take a long route around these rough men and women, avoiding them but adding an hour to your journey.

B: Walk through the main path and trust these strange folk to keep to themselves.

C: Call out the rough men and women and try to negotiate passage.

D: Lay waste and pass this obstacle through the medium of destruction.
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Let's Play Arcanum: Of Steamworks & Magic Obscura! - The adventures of Jack Hunt, gentleman rogue.

No slaughtering every man, woman and child we see just to teleport to the moon.

NUKE9.13

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Re: Spamwizard!
« Reply #7 on: March 21, 2017, 02:55:58 am »

We can always use destruction after negotiations fail. We are, after all, a master negoshiater.

C
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Blood_Librarian

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Re: Spamwizard!
« Reply #8 on: March 21, 2017, 03:50:44 am »

C sounds reasonable.
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Quote from: ChiefWaffles, MAR Discord
I continue to be puzzled by BL's attempts to make Aratam blatantly evil

Puppyguard

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Re: Spamwizard!
« Reply #9 on: March 21, 2017, 03:45:46 pm »

C
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Askot Bokbondeler

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Re: Spamwizard!
« Reply #10 on: March 21, 2017, 04:19:45 pm »

Ctw

Iituem

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Re: Spamwizard!
« Reply #11 on: March 21, 2017, 05:54:14 pm »

You call out to the figures hiding in the hills and, as you expected, some of them begin to sheepishly emerge.  One of them introduces himself as Herbert Refuge and they explain that they come from one of the mining villages in the hills, except that trolls came down from the mountains and killed most of their people.  These two dozen survivors are all that are left and they were hiding from the passing dragon.

[4*]  You offer them protection under your glorious fiery powers.  They seem sceptical of the offer, but are willing to let you tag along with them on their way to the cities to find aid for their local fiefdom.

A - Ignore these refugees and head on to find your bulls.

B - Head along with the refugees back down towards the cities.

C - Convince these people to help you in your quest to get your bull back if you'll kill those trolls in their village for them.

D - Convince these people to help you in your quest because you will set them on fire otherwise.

E - These dirty hillfolk doubt your word?  BURN THEM ALL.
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Let's Play Arcanum: Of Steamworks & Magic Obscura! - The adventures of Jack Hunt, gentleman rogue.

No slaughtering every man, woman and child we see just to teleport to the moon.

Askot Bokbondeler

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Re: Spamwizard!
« Reply #12 on: March 21, 2017, 05:58:04 pm »

C

Blood_Librarian

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Re: Spamwizard!
« Reply #13 on: March 21, 2017, 06:50:03 pm »

Trolls are notoriously burnable.\, Even Byohgrim knows this.

C
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Quote from: ChiefWaffles, MAR Discord
I continue to be puzzled by BL's attempts to make Aratam blatantly evil

Puppyguard

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Re: Spamwizard!
« Reply #14 on: March 21, 2017, 06:52:45 pm »

C

Death to the trolls!
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