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Author Topic: Urist's Law -- The Inevitabilities of Dwarf Fortress  (Read 14721 times)

Maul_Junior

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Re: Urist's Law -- The Inevitabilities of Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #15 on: April 05, 2017, 09:36:40 am »

As soon as you have a handle on the workarounds for the last stable version's bugs a new version rolls around.

When you see an opportunity for a good, old-fashioned April Fool's troll, it's four days too late. Which makes YOU the April Fool.
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Quote from: Meph
I didn't actually say this.

Quote from: smurfingtonthethird
there is nothing funnier than watching a goblin army get assaulted by hundreds of war chickens.

Any new discovery, sufficiently weaponize, is indistinguishable from !!FUN!!

Mostali

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Re: Urist's Law -- The Inevitabilities of Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #16 on: April 05, 2017, 12:13:00 pm »

The Weaponsmith will be Possessed.

The migrant that arrived with Expert Bowyer will Withdraw from Society when its skill you have been training it in reaches Adept.

If a fort is missing a type of thread, that's the thread the mooding dwarf needs.

If an embark is missing glass and/or clay, every constructed instrument of the civilization will require a piece made of the missing material.
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asialsky

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Re: Urist's Law -- The Inevitabilities of Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #17 on: April 05, 2017, 01:20:30 pm »

You will forget which of the levers raises the drawbridge, and which one kills everyone inside.
(Hint: It's usually the same lever!)
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Off defending the fortress from dragons with a tank, I'm sure.
"All I want is for you to be happy. You won't be happy until I'm happy, so hurry up and shoot the zombies!"

Staalo

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Re: Urist's Law -- The Inevitabilities of Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #18 on: April 05, 2017, 01:41:18 pm »

All moods will require shell on an desert embark.

The broker will want to Eat, Drink, Sleep, Meditate on Wealth! and Socialize! before trading.

The Duke will forbid exporting your main trade good.

The dwarf who likes large gems will be elected Mayor.
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Kasmko Taldequihu, Human Criminal corrupted zombie is visiting.
Mong Todsporro, Human Criminal death zombie is visiting.

Uhhh... welcome?

Maul_Junior

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Re: Urist's Law -- The Inevitabilities of Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #19 on: April 05, 2017, 02:47:05 pm »

You will forget which of the levers raises the drawbridge, and which one kills everyone inside.
(Hint: It's usually the same lever!)



Pro-tip: Ctrl+Shift+N (in LNP) can rename any building--including Levers.


When you come back to Dwarf Fortress from a long time away, you will accidentaly destroy your favorite fort when you try to get back into the game.
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Quote from: Meph
I didn't actually say this.

Quote from: smurfingtonthethird
there is nothing funnier than watching a goblin army get assaulted by hundreds of war chickens.

Any new discovery, sufficiently weaponize, is indistinguishable from !!FUN!!

asialsky

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Re: Urist's Law -- The Inevitabilities of Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #20 on: April 06, 2017, 01:45:51 am »

You will forget which of the levers raises the drawbridge, and which one kills everyone inside.
(Hint: It's usually the same lever!)



Pro-tip: Ctrl+Shift+N (in LNP) can rename any building--including Levers.


When you come back to Dwarf Fortress from a long time away, you will accidentaly destroy your favorite fort when you try to get back into the game.
I usually leave a (N)ote, but to each their own.

You will embark, only to see your wagon go underwater as the murky pool thaws.
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Off defending the fortress from dragons with a tank, I'm sure.
"All I want is for you to be happy. You won't be happy until I'm happy, so hurry up and shoot the zombies!"

Thisfox

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Re: Urist's Law -- The Inevitabilities of Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #21 on: April 06, 2017, 02:03:45 am »

There is nothing to catch in the southern swamps. (or the northern ones for that matter).
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YetAnotherLurker

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Re: Urist's Law -- The Inevitabilities of Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #22 on: April 06, 2017, 04:41:29 am »

Urist cancels Store Item in Stockpile: Interrupted by a crundle
Urist cancels Clean: Interrupted by a Forgotten Beast
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snow dwarf

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Re: Urist's Law -- The Inevitabilities of Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #23 on: April 06, 2017, 07:29:42 am »

There is nothing to catch in the southern swamps. (or the northern ones for that matter).
I can so relate to this, especially if there is an awesome river just next to them.
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Spriggans

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Re: Urist's Law -- The Inevitabilities of Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #24 on: April 06, 2017, 09:39:13 am »

The dwarves suspended the construction of the bridge : Interrupted by goblin-first-year-attack
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[ETHIC:CUTTING_TREES:REQUIRED]
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Staalo

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Re: Urist's Law -- The Inevitabilities of Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #25 on: April 08, 2017, 07:18:09 am »

The Weaponsmith will be Possessed.

It will be an Adamantine Mace.
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Kasmko Taldequihu, Human Criminal corrupted zombie is visiting.
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Uhhh... welcome?

Roguedragon999

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Re: Urist's Law -- The Inevitabilities of Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #26 on: April 10, 2017, 09:21:53 am »

If it exists, it will be weaponized no matter what it is
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Dunamisdeos

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Re: Urist's Law -- The Inevitabilities of Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #27 on: April 10, 2017, 04:28:37 pm »

Deconstructing the tile supporting the one a dwarf is standing on is a given.
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Fearless Son

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Re: Urist's Law -- The Inevitabilities of Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #28 on: April 10, 2017, 04:58:51 pm »

You will always get migrant waves faster than you can build accommodations for them.
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NJW2000

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Re: Urist's Law -- The Inevitabilities of Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #29 on: April 10, 2017, 05:00:22 pm »

Contrariwise, if you want migrants, none will ever turn up.

Addendum: if you love artifacts, population remains stable at 19 adults.
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One wheel short of a wagon
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