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Author Topic: Urist's Law -- The Inevitabilities of Dwarf Fortress  (Read 14791 times)

Naryar

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Re: Urist's Law -- The Inevitabilities of Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #30 on: June 06, 2017, 12:02:27 pm »

You will lose an important dwarf to a GCS.

Addendum : you will lose an important dwarf to sock hauling in the wrong places.
« Last Edit: June 06, 2017, 12:04:29 pm by Naryar »
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Dunamisdeos

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Re: Urist's Law -- The Inevitabilities of Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #31 on: June 06, 2017, 12:23:15 pm »

One dwarf will stress out constantly and forever for no readily apparent reason.
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FACT III: "All life begins with Post-it notes and ends with Post-it notes. This is the truth! This is my belief!...At least for now."
FACT IV: SPEECHO THE TRUSTWORM IS YOUR FRIEND or BEHOLD: THE FRUIT ENGINE 3.0

Merthyn

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Re: Urist's Law -- The Inevitabilities of Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #32 on: June 06, 2017, 01:37:41 pm »

A crundle will make one or more of your dwarves dodge into the cavern lava pits with a pathetic attack. Preferably legendary craftsdwarves.

Any large channeling order above a dug out area will lead to cave-ins, no matter how unlikely. The miners will find a way to make it happen.

If a dangerous trained animal reverts to a wild state, it will do so next to a valuable or important dwarf. Said dwarf will get mangled before military arrives.



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Far be it from me to conform my design to practicality.

You left a hole in your defensive perimeter/cavern system/water pipes. You will not find it before fun finds it first.

Astrid

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Re: Urist's Law -- The Inevitabilities of Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #33 on: June 06, 2017, 02:10:00 pm »

Your floors will be green and red. And it wont be neither paint nor plants to blame for.
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Dunamisdeos

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Re: Urist's Law -- The Inevitabilities of Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #34 on: June 06, 2017, 02:22:19 pm »

You left a hole in your defensive perimeter/cavern system/water pipes. You will not find it before fun finds it first.
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FACT I: Post note art is best art.
FACT II: Dunamisdeos is a forum-certified wordsmith.
FACT III: "All life begins with Post-it notes and ends with Post-it notes. This is the truth! This is my belief!...At least for now."
FACT IV: SPEECHO THE TRUSTWORM IS YOUR FRIEND or BEHOLD: THE FRUIT ENGINE 3.0

Splint

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Re: Urist's Law -- The Inevitabilities of Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #35 on: June 06, 2017, 10:00:10 pm »

A werebeast will manage a single skin-breaking bite just before being killed by an up-to-that-point-unharmed and lucky militia. And it will be on the one dorf you give half a damn about in the militia.

IgnacM991

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Re: Urist's Law -- The Inevitabilities of Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #36 on: June 07, 2017, 02:05:59 pm »

1st Law of Fluid Engineering
Every system prepared for transportation of fluids will be fully sealed until it gets filled.
2nd Law of Fluid Engineering
The leak is always located at the highest z-level possible.
3rd Law of Fluid Engineering
The fluid will reach the control lever faster than any dwarf.
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Merthyn

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Re: Urist's Law -- The Inevitabilities of Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #37 on: June 07, 2017, 05:47:52 pm »

You left a hole in your defensive perimeter/cavern system/water pipes. You will not find it before fun finds it first.

This. Hilarious, that's going into the sig.
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Far be it from me to conform my design to practicality.

You left a hole in your defensive perimeter/cavern system/water pipes. You will not find it before fun finds it first.

Caponimoq

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Re: Urist's Law -- The Inevitabilities of Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #38 on: June 07, 2017, 07:31:20 pm »

A longer play without saving, means that the game has a greater chance to crash. And it will crash in the worst moment possible.
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Urist McDM:"Roll a dwarven stupidity check"
*Urist McPlayer rolls 1
*Urist Mcplayer gets stucked in a hole
Urist McPlayer has been found death

Monk321654

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Re: Urist's Law -- The Inevitabilities of Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #39 on: June 07, 2017, 09:24:53 pm »

When embarking in an untamed wilds, the largest predator in the region will get into your meeting area. You will not know how it happened.

(Goddamn Giant Grizzly Bear, how did you do that?)
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NESgamer190

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Re: Urist's Law -- The Inevitabilities of Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #40 on: June 09, 2017, 03:38:19 am »

Embarking upon the evilly terrifying biomes?  Expect skeletal yaks to gut the starting expedition day one.  If not, expect them to gut the fort eventually.
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Dunamisdeos

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Re: Urist's Law -- The Inevitabilities of Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #41 on: June 09, 2017, 01:36:19 pm »

Is everything fine? Has it been fine for a while?

There's a were-creature in your fort. Right now. Somewhere. It's probably a mammoth.
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FACT I: Post note art is best art.
FACT II: Dunamisdeos is a forum-certified wordsmith.
FACT III: "All life begins with Post-it notes and ends with Post-it notes. This is the truth! This is my belief!...At least for now."
FACT IV: SPEECHO THE TRUSTWORM IS YOUR FRIEND or BEHOLD: THE FRUIT ENGINE 3.0

Staalo

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Re: Urist's Law -- The Inevitabilities of Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #42 on: June 09, 2017, 02:03:41 pm »

There will be one dwarf hauling a heavy bin on the other side of the map when a civilian alert is sounded.

There's always that one pocket of magma or aquifer you weren't aware of.

One of those trees you cut down left a hole in your fort ceiling.

You have forgotten what that lever does.
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Staalo

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Re: Urist's Law -- The Inevitabilities of Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #43 on: June 09, 2017, 02:07:11 pm »

Oh, and that guy who just leveled up to Legendary? Infected fingernail. He's had it for months, only waiting for this moment.
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Evil One

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Re: Urist's Law -- The Inevitabilities of Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #44 on: June 09, 2017, 07:23:44 pm »

You will lose one of your legendary military dwarves because for some reason he decided to turn up to a battle, without the weapon he was trained with.
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