Bay 12 Games Forum

Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Advanced search  
Pages: 1 2 3 [4] 5 6 7

Author Topic: Urist's Law -- The Inevitabilities of Dwarf Fortress  (Read 14830 times)

Gigaz

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: Urist's Law -- The Inevitabilities of Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #45 on: June 10, 2017, 04:14:18 am »

1. Everything that you construct outside will end up costing you a few dwarfs due to cave-ins.

2. The fortress had at least one entrance which you're not aware of.

3. Whenever you pump water, a dwarf mother will manage to loose her baby on the pumped tile.
Logged

MCreeper

  • Bay Watcher
  • My bus is late
    • View Profile
Re: Urist's Law -- The Inevitabilities of Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #46 on: June 10, 2017, 08:15:25 am »

If you not get killed on embark in terryfying biome by skeletal husking yaks, there will be nothing iactually terrifying. No zombie wildlife, no deadly dust, and dwarf blood instead deadly rain.
Logged

Dunamisdeos

  • Bay Watcher
  • Duggin was the hero we needed.
    • View Profile
Re: Urist's Law -- The Inevitabilities of Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #48 on: June 10, 2017, 10:16:10 am »

You medical staff is sleeping. All of them. At all times. Noone is available to save your injured military dwarves.
Logged
FACT I: Post note art is best art.
FACT II: Dunamisdeos is a forum-certified wordsmith.
FACT III: "All life begins with Post-it notes and ends with Post-it notes. This is the truth! This is my belief!...At least for now."
FACT IV: SPEECHO THE TRUSTWORM IS YOUR FRIEND or BEHOLD: THE FRUIT ENGINE 3.0

Spriggans

  • Bay Watcher
  • Mushrooms eater
    • View Profile
Re: Urist's Law -- The Inevitabilities of Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #49 on: June 10, 2017, 11:23:46 am »

You will screw up in the military screen. And your marksdwarves will go fight the goblins with empty quivers.
Logged
[ETHIC:MURDERING_DWARVES:UNTHINKABLE]
[ETHIC:CUTTING_TREES:REQUIRED]
[ETHIC:USING_EXPLOITS:JUSTIFIED_IF_GOOD_REASON]

Thisfox

  • Bay Watcher
  • Vixen.
    • View Profile
Re: Urist's Law -- The Inevitabilities of Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #50 on: June 10, 2017, 04:56:51 pm »

You will screw up in the military screen. And your marksdwarves will go fight the goblins with empty quivers.

And if they go into battle with full quivers, it will be mysteriously-created featherwood training ammo.
Logged
Mules gotta spleen. Dwarfs gotta eat.
Thisfox likes aquifers, olivine, Forgotten Beasts for their imagination, & dorfs for their stupidity. She prefers to consume gin & tonic. She absolutely detests Facebook.
"Urist McMason died out of pure spite to make you wonder why he was suddenly dead"
Oh god... Plump Helmet Man Mimes!

Naryar

  • Bay Watcher
  • [SPHERE:VERMIN][LIKES_FIGHTING]
    • View Profile
Re: Urist's Law -- The Inevitabilities of Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #51 on: June 11, 2017, 10:06:16 am »

3. Whenever you pump water, a dwarf mother will manage to loose her baby on the pumped tile.

Addendum : Any filled water reservoir will have 1 one more rotting corpses, blood, or mud in it.

You will screw up in the military screen. And your marksdwarves will go fight the goblins with empty quivers.

And if they go into battle with full quivers, it will be mysteriously-created featherwood training ammo.

None of your dwarves will equip boots, and you *will* end up with foot injuries and prone dwarves.

 

Caponimoq

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: Urist's Law -- The Inevitabilities of Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #52 on: June 11, 2017, 02:10:33 pm »

Dwarves will die of dehydratation because they inexplicably got stuck on top of a tree.
Logged
Urist McDM:"Roll a dwarven stupidity check"
*Urist McPlayer rolls 1
*Urist Mcplayer gets stucked in a hole
Urist McPlayer has been found death

Naryar

  • Bay Watcher
  • [SPHERE:VERMIN][LIKES_FIGHTING]
    • View Profile
Re: Urist's Law -- The Inevitabilities of Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #53 on: June 11, 2017, 03:27:30 pm »

Your most important craftsdwarf/metalsmith/stoneworker WILL go possessed instead of fey/secretive. No exceptions.

Your militia dwarves will all have infections before you have a soap industry.
« Last Edit: June 11, 2017, 03:32:34 pm by Naryar »
Logged

jaxler

  • Bay Watcher
  • thats not a red mage...
    • View Profile
Re: Urist's Law -- The Inevitabilities of Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #54 on: June 12, 2017, 02:48:52 am »

The fisher/hunter dwarves will always be out when the invasion hits.
Logged
I've decided to say "fuck it" and will just implode my fort.

“Ok, Neo ChosenUrist, before you is two levers. Pull the Kimberlite lever -- you wakeup in a random bed and have whatever thoughts you want to think. You pull the Bauxite lever -- you stay in the caverns and I show you how deep the adamantine hole goes.” - psalms

Dunamisdeos

  • Bay Watcher
  • Duggin was the hero we needed.
    • View Profile
Re: Urist's Law -- The Inevitabilities of Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #55 on: June 12, 2017, 06:14:42 pm »

Do you have a single specific mat that you are unable to obtain in your fort by any means? Because that is the last item needed to finish your weaponsmith's 10-item mood.
Logged
FACT I: Post note art is best art.
FACT II: Dunamisdeos is a forum-certified wordsmith.
FACT III: "All life begins with Post-it notes and ends with Post-it notes. This is the truth! This is my belief!...At least for now."
FACT IV: SPEECHO THE TRUSTWORM IS YOUR FRIEND or BEHOLD: THE FRUIT ENGINE 3.0

LordBrassroast

  • Bay Watcher
  • Wibble.
    • View Profile
Re: Urist's Law -- The Inevitabilities of Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #56 on: June 13, 2017, 08:17:59 am »

All seven start dwarves will be hungry/thirsty/sleepy/need to go on break when you desperately need to move shit inside the fort before the zombies and evil rains come.

anewaname

  • Bay Watcher
  • The mattock... My choice for problem solving.
    • View Profile
Re: Urist's Law -- The Inevitabilities of Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #57 on: June 13, 2017, 11:10:48 am »

You thought this would be a tolerable noble because he likes "steel" and "beds". Now he wants a steel bed in his room.
Logged
How did I manage to successfully apply the lessons of The Screwtape Letters to my perceptions of big grocery stores?

Noel.se

  • Bay Watcher
  • Always lurking. Always watching.
    • View Profile
Re: Urist's Law -- The Inevitabilities of Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #58 on: June 14, 2017, 12:48:26 pm »

The alcohol will always run out in winter, when the water is frozen.
Logged

Ggobs

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: Urist's Law -- The Inevitabilities of Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #59 on: June 14, 2017, 02:30:36 pm »

ptw
Logged
Just popping in to say that if DF has taught me anything, it's that everything is doomed.
Pages: 1 2 3 [4] 5 6 7