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[Dustan Hache]

Excuse me, what would it take to get a "cat" race that only speaks it's own language, but has extremely good CHA (because of cuteness) and DEX, but has bad WIS and CON? We need more silly races, and I feel like taking a spot as "funnyface" the cat, a thief of questionable renown.

[inaluct]

Spoiler: Knightly Things (click to show/hide)

Name: Deikos of High Rock
Race: Human
Level: 1
Class: Fighter
HP: 6/6
STR: 5
DEX: 4 
CON: 6
INT: 2
WIS: 2
CHA: 2
Money: Not a cent
Equipment: Equipped items are in [brackets.]

[Orichalcum Long Sword] (Medium sword) - 1d6 Damage
[Orichalcum Greatshield] (Shield) - 1 AC
[Knight's Helm] (Helmet) - 1 AC
[Knight's Armor] (Heavy Armor) - 3 DR
Healing Potion x 5 - Heals the user (0 used today)
Estoc (Small Dagger) - 1d6 Damage

Backstory: Deikos is a knight. He does knightly things.

May I suggest a marksman class?

Absolutely, shoot. Keep in mind that the Fighter already gets some fairly significant bonuses to missile combat, so the Marksman will need a little differentiation.

Healing potions are not actually mundane items in this game. They cost 250gp, which is a fairly gigantic amount considering that 1000gp worth of training/carousing/charity/research will get you to level 2. However, because I didn't actually say this explicitly and it makes sense for your character to have sold a bunch of things Don Quixote style and bought some healing potions, you can have five healing potions of somewhat dubious provenance. This is also, of course, a game that includes PVP and allows you to loot other players for their expensive healing potions.

Also, I'm rolling with orichalcum being more like the historical orichalcum because it's cooler than some video game thing, and because it suggests a lot of cool ways it might be different than iron or steel.

I do not have DF.

Shocking, I know.

It's fun, try it some time.

Spoiler: Behold, a character (click to show/hide)

Name: Fath Allosoltar
Race: Dwarf
Class: Myrmidon
Stats: GM rolled
Spell: GM rolled (I live on the wild side)
Equipment: Medium armor, a bronze helmet with a large, purple plume atop, and however many javelins the GM lets me get away with.
Backstory: A former militia captain who has come out of retirement for fame and fortune. Mostly fortune.

You're in!
STR 2
DEX 5-1=4
CON 5
INT 1
WIS 3
CHA 2-1=1

Spell: Mirror Image

Let's just ballpark a javelin as weighing a couple pounds. Dwarves can carry a lot. Fath hasn't actually sat down and counted how many he has, but it's a huge amount in a broad array of styles and makes. He has a quiver of them that looks like an oversized golf bag and also has little pouches on the side for things like whetstones, javelin chalk, handle wax, golf tees, etc.

K, fixed my character so that they now have one less point in wisdom...

Two things.

1: 4 health?

2: Detection and Sleep.

I'm kinda wishing I went with Crazy Sir Lootington instead of Mysterious Sir Lootington now... ah well, screw it.

1. 4 health.
2. I'm sure you'll probably get a chance to roll up yet another member of the esteemed Lootington family at some point. They are quite prolific by this point, being one of the few families who can trace their lineage all the way back to the reign of the God-Lich.

2: Detection and Sleep.

我喜欢。我很喜欢。

I like this a good deal. (That is also a rough translation of what I just said in Chinese.)

They're both actually pretty useful. And there are totally bonuses to be had for translating things or making multilingual puns. Or even just for cool descriptions of things.

Spoiler:  Quack-Quack The Token (click to show/hide)

Name: Quack-Quack The Token
Race: Duck
Class: Wizard
Starting Spell: Charm Person
HP:

As a veteran grognard and fanatical purist, I cannot point-buy in a good conscience. inaluct, I would be forever grateful if you rolled for my stats.

STR:
DEX:
CON:
INT:
WIS:
CHA:
Money: (Starts at nothing)
Equipment: A dapper hat and heavy lantern, (medium weapon)
Backstory: Quack-Quack The Token is a particularly dapper duck who joined the party for the fun of it.

Excellent. Every group of adventurers needs a plucky racial token.
STR 5-2=3
DEX 2
CON 2
INT 3
WIS 6
CHA 1

Charm Person and Illusion.

Ooh, didn't notice this at first. Hmm...

Spoiler: Character (click to show/hide)

Name: Theta Alpine
Race: Immortal wolf (Immortal as in: doesn't age. But anyways: Can't use weapons unless custom-fitted (In which case it would basically be armor that could be used as a weapon), can't use armor unless specifically made for her, can't really manipulate items except by magic)
Class: Mystic (Magic focused more on long incantations instead of quick spells. Incantations take more than one round to prepare, but require only the ability to speak.)

HP:	3
STR	5
DEX	3
CON	2
INT	1
WIS	6
CHA	3

Money: (Starts at nothing)
Equipment:

Backstory: An ancient elf who gained immortality at the cost of being a wolf. Maintained the prophecies surrounding Tim the God-Lich.

This will be a bit of a work in progress as the exact details of the race and class get hashed out.

I like these ideas. I'm envisioning biting as a natural weapon, good AC, and an ability to just know some fact or identify a thing based on having seen something like it before. Every class can attempt to roll to recognize or piece together what something is, Wizards and to a lesser extent Myrmidons can do it better. An immortal being from thousands of years ago can do it well and with a broader scope. Incantations are cool, too. Any ideas for those, from anybody? I'll add Theta in as soon as we decide on what this consists of.

A thought regarding HP: maybe it could be a roll, but one that ranges from either 3 to Con+2 or from Con to Con+2 (depending on if Con or 3 is higher). This would limit people with a Con of 1 to 3 hp, but reward people for having more Con than that.

I'm thinking rolling a d4 for it; 1 and 2 give plus that many on top of your Con, while 3 and 4 do nothing (or, if you're less than three, give you a 3).

It's just a thought, nothing more. You are free to make of it what you will, or disregard it in its entirety. I just thought that it would be a good way to reward Con while still having a somewhat randomized hp.

CON will still have an effect outside of HP, with having 1 or less CON having a fairly significant negative. I do like the idea, though, and I'll consider implementing it if it looks like the game would be funner if people started with more HP.

Excuse me, what would it take to get a "cat" race that only speaks it's own language, but has extremely good CHA (because of cuteness) and DEX, but has bad WIS and CON? We need more silly races, and I feel like taking a spot as "funnyface" the cat, a thief of questionable renown.

I'm amenable to the idea! Things that always help regardless of the concept:
1. Cool descriptions.
2. Literary references. These cats have low WIS, so I guess they aren't as wise as their cousins in Ulthar.
3. Abilities and disabilities that differentiate them that are not stat bonuses and penalties. Like, maybe the pygmy throon is really good at unarmed combat and using a bolas? That sort of thing, that's better than +2 STR.

[inaluct]

The wind rises to a screeching crescendo and the dark roiling sea of clouds parts. The moon glares down like a baleful jaundiced eye, casting a yellow light across the skull-faced peak and the squat, evil-looking keep nestled in the valley beneath it. Somewhere far out on the moor, the howl of a gigantic wolf pierces the night.

Inside, a coarse band of adventurers crowds around a stout oaken table in the center of a bustling tavern built into the keep's widest tower. Swinging lanterns cast a warm light and nimble maids traverse the dancing shadows to slosh mugs of complimentary ale onto the tables. A huge blackened stove roars from the far wall. A hooded stranger sits motionless, every inch of his skin covered, a cat perched in front of him eying the room warily. Around our table sit a hooded magus mumbling to himself, a masked warrior with swords crossed over his back, a pale assassin festooned with implements of war, a noble shining knight, a grizzled dwarven mercenary, and... A duck in a top hat. Quack.

They stare at each other in silence, except for the duck. Finally, someone speaks...

Options:
1. Plan an expedition to the basement.
2. Carouse in the tavern or seek information on the basement from other patrons.
3. Go to the complimentary barracks-style accommodations.
4. Attempt to purchase supplies.
5. Seek an audience with the ruler of Castle Inaluct.
6. Strike out onto the moor.
7. Other.

[Glass]

Charm Person and Illusion.

很好！我很高兴！

A thought regarding HP: maybe it could be a roll, but one that ranges from either 3 to Con+2 or from Con to Con+2 (depending on if Con or 3 is higher). This would limit people with a Con of 1 to 3 hp, but reward people for having more Con than that.

I'm thinking rolling a d4 for it; 1 and 2 give plus that many on top of your Con, while 3 and 4 do nothing (or, if you're less than three, give you a 3).

It's just a thought, nothing more. You are free to make of it what you will, or disregard it in its entirety. I just thought that it would be a good way to reward Con while still having a somewhat randomized hp.

CON will still have an effect outside of HP, with having 1 or less CON having a fairly significant negative. I do like the idea, though, and I'll consider implementing it if it looks like the game would be funner if people started with more HP.

Thanks mate. Glad to to be of assistance.

Excuse me, what would it take to get a "cat" race that only speaks it's own language, but has extremely good CHA (because of cuteness) and DEX, but has bad WIS and CON? We need more silly races, and I feel like taking a spot as "funnyface" the cat, a thief of questionable renown.

I feel that it might make more sense to have a reduced strength or intelligence than wisdom; wisdom is common sense, which cats have in abundance from my experience.

2: Detection and Sleep.

我喜欢。我很喜欢。

I like this a good deal. (That is also a rough translation of what I just said in Chinese.)

They're both actually pretty useful. And there are totally bonuses to be had for translating things or making multilingual puns. Or even just for cool descriptions of things.

谢谢很多，我的朋友！我说英文跟一点儿中文，所以你只知道中文。
Thank you very much!


Information. Information is key, and probably worth more than its weight in gold, if you could weigh it. Probably at least 16 times its weight in gold.

*ahem*

Yes... Let's try to get some information on our quarry.

[Dustan Hache]

If you wanted, I could draft a entire sheet for just a universal "cat" race, including abilities and backstory. Main problem is condensing said backstory into something shorter than 20 words for my character as well.

[inaluct]

If you wanted, I could draft a entire sheet for just a universal "cat" race, including abilities and backstory. Main problem is condensing said backstory into something shorter than 20 words for my character as well.

Don't worry about the word limit for the entire race, just keep the individual character's under 20. Or over 20 with fewer stat points.

[Rethi-Eli]

Drink ale. Go with the flow.

[Yoink]

Wow, it's Inaluct! I was just thinking how much I missed your old RtD when I discovered this.
May I have some stats?

[inaluct]

Wow, it's Inaluct! I was just thinking how much I missed your old RtD when I discovered this.
May I have some stats?

6, 5, 5, 6, 6, 1

Well, damn.

[Yoink]

[INSERT "MOTHER OF GOD" MEME HERE]

[Ardent Debater]

The Duck nibbles a piece of aged bread, and sips at stale wine, constantly staring at the party members and bar patrons, occasionally chuckling to itself in Quack. Its feathers are disheveled, its tophat is ragged, and its eyes flicker with cruel humor, but something about it belies a bit... more.

*In Quack* "Quarter o' a dozen hairless apes, a bearded midget, and a snow elf! A gang o' dainty snowflakes, mary sues, n' a feckin' bird, 'bout to run headfirst to the Lich's abode! What's a Duck to do?!? Huehuehue!"

*In Common with a heavy accent* "Ol' Quack-Quack's been 'round the woods a time er two, seen fings ye wouldna believe. 'E knows da lotta us 's short on coin n' short on quality gear. 'E'd say 't 'd be suicide to 'ead headfirst into the basement, not a one 'd last longer n' a minute.

'E'd say, where dere's a town dere's travelers, n' where dere's travelers dere's merchants, n' merchants need two fings: guards and scur'ty, n' dat da lotta us can give. Ol' Quack-Quack's gonna go lookin' fer merchants wiff more coin den sense, n' see if 'e canna' get da lotta us a cushy escort job in da moor. 'Course, Ol Quack-Quack's a bit o' a dunce when it comes to talking da talk, n' 'e'd be mighty 'ppreciative if one o' ye 'd tag along n' help Ol' Quack-Quack butter 'em up."

Quack-Quack finishes his meal of aged bread and stale wine before looking for a merchant in need of safe passage to another town. He offers the merchant the protective services of himself and any accompanying party members for a generous 5 gold a head, plus a fair share of any loot the caravan comes across. If any more charismatic party members tag along he lets them do the talking.

Spoiler:  Quack-Quack The Token (click to show/hide)

Player: Ardent Debater
Name: Quack-Quack The Token
Race: Duck
Class: Wizard
Starting Spell: Charm Person
HP: 3
AC: 6
DR: 0
STR 3
DEX 2
CON 2
INT 3
WIS 6
CHA 1
Spells: Charm Person and Illusion
Money: (Starts at nothing)
Equipment: A dapper hat (1 AC) and heavy lantern, (medium weapon)
Backstory: Quack-Quack The Token is a particularly dapper duck who joined the party for the fun of it.

[Ardent Debater]

http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=162012.0

Many thanks Rautherdir, I appreciate it.

[Yoink]

Should I apply those rolled stats in that order, or do I choose where they go?
Either way, I'll edit my character into this post once it's finished.    

Edit: It'd be kind of cool to play as some sort of druid, but that seems like it might not fit the system too well. Otherwise I might go with a myrmidon with eye-lasers, or (if I can distribute my rolled stat scores as I please) a dashing, glass-cannon thief of some sort. Edit: Or wait, maybe a hideously-scarred, freelance executioner with a big ol' axe and stylish burlap sack/clay mask headwear. Yes... I think I like this idea, and I wouldn't need to shuffle stats.

[Rautherdir]

Alright then, I'll split this into three parts then, one for the race, one for the class, and one for the incantations.

Spoiler: Race: Immortal Wolf (click to show/hide)

The result of a character using an extremely powerful ritual to make themselves immortal. Of course, immortality comes at a cost, and this particular method turns you into a magical beast. Also of note is the fact that you can still get killed. It only prevents old age, really. If an immortal wolf is killed, it's body is quickly engulfed in magical fire and destroyed as the ritual's effect fades.

An immortal wolf varies in size depending on their original race, how old they were when they performed the ritual, and how long ago that was. Coloration seems random. Immortal wolves have fairly good eyesight, have night-vision, but are color-blind. Their other senses; however, are much better than a human. An immortal wolf contains within them a magical aura that is visible by any using a detection spell. The size and intensity of the aura depends on the health of the wolf, with extremely large health levels (above 25) potentially making the aura visible to the naked eye. This aura also prevents certain types of magic from affecting an immortal wolf, specifically Polymorph, Dispel Magic, Gaseous Form and any other spell that would alter the wolf's form or attempt to dispel the magic of the ritual. Charm Person fails to recognize an immortal wolf as a valid target. Restoration is unable to bring an immortal wolf back to life.

Immortal wolves are omnivores, to the point where they can eat and digest most materials, including those considered magical. This is due to their natural digestion process being enhanced by the magic of the ritual. They do not technically need to eat in order to survive, but they can only regain health from eating, gaining one health point for every pound of material digested, up to their maximum. Organic matter digests at a rate of about a minute per pound, with tougher materials taking up to a day per pound for nigh-indestructible materials. However, healing potions are not able to take effect due to the altered digestive system, and are processed the same as any other material. Immortal wolves are unable to use conventional tools, weapons, or armor. Armor could be custom made to fit one, however. An immortal wolf is also unable to cast spells in the convetional way, as that requires hands. Magic that does not require this can still be employed. An immortal wolf is able to speak the language that was used to preform the ritual, and able to understand any languages they originally could. They can learn to speak with animals, as well.

Their aura inherently shields them against attack if it is strong enough. Their base AC is 3 to 5 depending on their size. For every 3 points of health above 12, they have 1 extra AC. All immortal wolves can bite or scratch opponents, more experienced wolves may have other attacks. A bite deals d6+1 damage, scratching deals d6 damage with a reroll on a 1.

Immortal wolves get +1 to STR, DEX, and CON. They also get -2 to INT and CHA. Knowledge tests can be made with WIS rather than INT due to their age if applicable. When rolling for HP, reroll all 1s.

Spoiler: Class: Mystic (click to show/hide)

Mystics are somewhat in-between Myrmidons and Wizards in terms of fighting skill. But where Myrmidons and Wizards practice spells, Mystics memorize incantations. Incantations are somewhat like poems, but the very words are infused with power. The actual words and verse used vary, incantations are based more on intuition than on memorized script. The power used to fuel the incantation usually comes from the earth itself, and a mystic can only channel so much of this power per day. In addition, it takes time to channel this power, and most incantations are variable length, with additional verses adding more power, or even other effects. Mystics do not memorize verses, they learn aspects. An aspect is used for the base of every verse, and thus verses can be of any language. However, the whole incantation should generally be made in the same language, and the potency of the incantation can vary depending on how well the verses flow together.
The process of making an incantation requires the invoker to be uninterrupted for a number of rounds equal to the number of verses in the incantation. If a mystic is interrupted while reciting, the incantation goes off with all verses completed so far. If the incantation is invalid when interupted or finished the invoker takes xd6 damage and anyone next to them takes xd4 damage, where x is the number of verses completed. A Mystic can learn aspects by researching them, with 500 gp and 2 weeks to research an aspect. They do not gain aspects from leveling. Incantations can be made in any armor, but light armor makes the incantation 10% less powerful, medium 33% less powerful, and heavy 75% less powerful. This is due to the channeled energy being dampened, and thus the reductions can be abated by wearing armor made of magical materials. Enchanted gear, however, will make the incantation even less powerful, but will make the enchantment stronger for the duration of the recitation.

A level 1 Mystic can channel enough power for up to four verses each day, and starts with three aspects for their verses.
A level 6 Mystic can channel enough power for up to twenty verses each day.

Spoiler: Incantations (click to show/hide)

Even though verses are usually made on the spot, all verses embody an aspect. There are three base types of aspect: targets, effects, and bindings. Targets specify who or what the incantation will act on. These can sometimes be customized. Effects specify what will be applied to the target. These cannot be customized on their own. Bindings allow an effect to be altered. A basic incantation requires only two verses: a target and an effect. Adding a binding allows the mystic to change what happens to the target. Adding more targets splits the effect onto each target, though some power is lost in the process if done raw. Bindings can be used to prevent power leakage this way and to specify how much of the effect is applied to each target. Adding another of the same effect makes the incantation more powerful, adding a different effect on it's own is not recommended. Bindings can be used to combine effects, or to enhance one effect with another. Bindings can only look at the targets and effects closest to them, and can differentiate between whether the target/effect was spoken before or after the binding.

Example Aspects, suggestions welcome:
Target: Self
Target: Touched
Target: Indicated (described in the verse)
Target: Area
Target: Closest Living

Effect: Fire
Effect: Phase (Temporarily makes target intangible)
Effect: Wither (Straight up life damage)
Effect: Growth (Straight up life gain)

Binding: <previous target/effect> is merged with <next target/effect>
Binding: <previous target> spreads <next effect>
Binding: <previous effect> causes <next effect>
Binding: <previous effect> is applied to <previous target> by <previous effect> and to <next target> by <next effect>

This took a while, any and all comments/suggestions welcome.

[Glass]

Wow, it's Inaluct! I was just thinking how much I missed your old RtD when I discovered this.
May I have some stats?

6, 5, 5, 6, 6, 1

Well, damn.

*whistles appreciatively*
That's... all but Cha. XD but of course!

Alright then, I'll split this into three parts then, one for the race, one for the class, and one for the incantations.

Spoiler: Race: Immortal Wolf (click to show/hide)

The result of a character using an extremely powerful ritual to make themselves immortal. Of course, immortality comes at a cost, and this particular method turns you into a magical beast. Also of note is the fact that you can still get killed. It only prevents old age, really. If an immortal wolf is killed, it's body is quickly engulfed in magical fire and destroyed as the ritual's effect fades.

An immortal wolf varies in size depending on their original race, how old they were when they performed the ritual, and how long ago that was. Coloration seems random. Immortal wolves have fairly good eyesight, have night-vision, but are color-blind. Their other senses; however, are much better than a human. An immortal wolf contains within them a magical aura that is visible by any using a detection spell. The size and intensity of the aura depends on the health of the wolf, with extremely large health levels (above 25) potentially making the aura visible to the naked eye. This aura also prevents certain types of magic from affecting an immortal wolf, specifically Polymorph, Dispel Magic, Gaseous Form and any other spell that would alter the wolf's form or attempt to dispel the magic of the ritual. Charm Person fails to recognize an immortal wolf as a valid target. Restoration is unable to bring an immortal wolf back to life.

Immortal wolves are omnivores, to the point where they can eat and digest most materials, including those considered magical. This is due to their natural digestion process being enhanced by the magic of the ritual. They do not technically need to eat in order to survive, but they can only regain health from eating, gaining one health point for every pound of material digested, up to their maximum. Organic matter digests at a rate of about a minute per pound, with tougher materials taking up to a day per pound for nigh-indestructible materials. However, healing potions are not able to take effect due to the altered digestive system, and are processed the same as any other material. Immortal wolves are unable to use conventional tools, weapons, or armor. Armor could be custom made to fit one, however. An immortal wolf is also unable to cast spells in the convetional way, as that requires hands. Magic that does not require this can still be employed. An immortal wolf is able to speak the language that was used to preform the ritual, and able to understand any languages they originally could. They can learn to speak with animals, as well.

Their aura inherently shields them against attack if it is strong enough. Their base AC is 3 to 5 depending on their size. For every 3 points of health above 12, they have 1 extra AC. All immortal wolves can bite or scratch opponents, more experienced wolves may have other attacks. A bite deals d6+1 damage, scratching deals d6 damage with a reroll on a 1.

Immortal wolves get +1 to STR, DEX, and CON. They also get -2 to INT and CHA. Knowledge tests can be made with WIS rather than INT due to their age if applicable. When rolling for HP, reroll all 1s.

Spoiler: Class: Mystic (click to show/hide)

Mystics are somewhat in-between Myrmidons and Wizards in terms of fighting skill. But where Myrmidons and Wizards practice spells, Mystics memorize incantations. Incantations are somewhat like poems, but the very words are infused with power. The actual words and verse used vary, incantations are based more on intuition than on memorized script. The power used to fuel the incantation usually comes from the earth itself, and a mystic can only channel so much of this power per day. In addition, it takes time to channel this power, and most incantations are variable length, with additional verses adding more power, or even other effects. Mystics do not memorize verses, they learn aspects. An aspect is used for the base of every verse, and thus verses can be of any language. However, the whole incantation should generally be made in the same language, and the potency of the incantation can vary depending on how well the verses flow together.
The process of making an incantation requires the invoker to be uninterrupted for a number of rounds equal to the number of verses in the incantation. If a mystic is interrupted while reciting, the incantation goes off with all verses completed so far. If the incantation is invalid when interupted or finished the invoker takes xd6 damage and anyone next to them takes xd4 damage, where x is the number of verses completed. A Mystic can learn aspects by researching them, with 500 gp and 2 weeks to research an aspect. They do not gain aspects from leveling. Incantations can be made in any armor, but light armor makes the incantation 10% less powerful, medium 33% less powerful, and heavy 75% less powerful. This is due to the channeled energy being dampened, and thus the reductions can be abated by wearing armor made of magical materials. Enchanted gear, however, will make the incantation even less powerful, but will make the enchantment stronger for the duration of the recitation.

A level 1 Mystic can channel enough power for up to four verses each day, and starts with three aspects for their verses.
A level 6 Mystic can channel enough power for up to twenty verses each day.

Spoiler: Incantations (click to show/hide)

Even though verses are usually made on the spot, all verses embody an aspect. There are three base types of aspect: targets, effects, and bindings. Targets specify who or what the incantation will act on. These can sometimes be customized. Effects specify what will be applied to the target. These cannot be customized on their own. Bindings allow an effect to be altered. A basic incantation requires only two verses: a target and an effect. Adding a binding allows the mystic to change what happens to the target. Adding more targets splits the effect onto each target, though some power is lost in the process if done raw. Bindings can be used to prevent power leakage this way and to specify how much of the effect is applied to each target. Adding another of the same effect makes the incantation more powerful, adding a different effect on it's own is not recommended. Bindings can be used to combine effects, or to enhance one effect with another. Bindings can only look at the targets and effects closest to them, and can differentiate between whether the target/effect was spoken before or after the binding.

Example Aspects, suggestions welcome:
Target: Self
Target: Touched
Target: Indicated (described in the verse)
Target: Area
Target: Closest Living

Effect: Fire
Effect: Phase (Temporarily makes target intangible)
Effect: Wither (Straight up life damage)
Effect: Growth (Straight up life gain)

Binding: <previous target/effect> is merged with <next target/effect>
Binding: <previous target> spreads <next effect>
Binding: <previous effect> causes <next effect>
Binding: <previous effect> is applied to <previous target> by <previous effect> and to <next target> by <next effect>

This took a while, any and all comments/suggestions welcome.

You an arctic wolf? Because that would be helpful.

The Duck nibbles a piece of aged bread, and sips at stale wine, constantly staring at the party members and bar patrons, occasionally chuckling to itself in Quack. Its feathers are disheveled, its tophat is ragged, and its eyes flicker with cruel humor, but something about it belies a bit... more.

*In Quack* "Quarter o' a dozen hairless apes, a bearded midget, and a snow elf! A gang o' dainty snowflakes, mary sues, n' a feckin' bird, 'bout to run headfirst to the Lich's abode! What's a Duck to do?!? Huehuehue!"

*In Common with a heavy accent* "Ol' Quack-Quack's been 'round the woods a time er two, seen fings ye wouldna believe. 'E knows da lotta us 's short on coin n' short on quality gear. 'E'd say 't 'd be suicide to 'ead headfirst into the basement, not a one 'd last longer n' a minute.

Quack is not too far from Goosic. Jacob may not be able to tell exactly what you're saying, but he can certainly tell that you don't much like the party.
As for the latter portion, though, in common, he could not agree more. D'ya got any ideas?