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Milk

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Total Members Voted: 35

[Yoink]

At the concert, Eliphas and Ithadtam begin stomping the metalheads...

"HOW YOU GUYS LOSING?? SO-CALLED "METALHEADS" GETTING BEATEN BY A BUNCH OF GREASY COSPLAY NERDS!
WHAT KIND OF FUKKEN WIMPS SHOWED UP TO THIS GIG, ANYWAY!? KILL THEM!"   

HAVE SPACELASER TUNE HIS UKULELE DOWN A BIT WHILST I FASHION THE BONES AND HIDES OF THE WEAK AND FALLEN INTO A GRUESOME, APOCALYPTICALLY-LOUD DRUMKIT, THIS PROJECT HOPEFULLY INSPIRING THE SURVIVING AUDIENCE TO FIGHT HARDER LEST THEY SHARE THE SAME FATE

THEN, LOB MY UKULELE INTO THE MIDST OF THE CHAOS ATTACKERS WHERE IT WILL (HOPEFULLY) EXPLODE IN A BURST OF HELLISH SHRAPNEL, SLICING THROUGH THEIR LEGS, GROINS AND ABDOMENS. WITHOUT WAITING TO SEE HOW WELL THAT WORKS, LAUNCH IMMEDIATELY INTO A SKULL-CRUSHING COVER OF THIS SONG, CHANGING THE LYRICS SLIGHTLY TO REPLACE "NAZARENE" WITH "MATT WARDIAN" AND "CHAPELS OF DIVINITY" WITH "STOREFRONTS OF NERD SHIT".
PERHAPS A PUMMELLING DRUMBEAT IS ALL MY FANS NEED TO START BEING LESS PATHETIC AND DRIVE THE NERD MENACE BACK

CHANNEL MY BAT-HERD AROUND ME, FORMING A LEATHER-WINGED, RABID, BITING MAELSTROM AROUND THE STAGE TO REPEL INTRUDERS

[Dark One]

This cheese will give you inner strength to find your way on the path of milk!

Send my followers on path of milk

[Glass]

Johiah, I thought you were keeping my reptilians thing sigged.

[Enemy post]

TURN 32

(Oh fine.)
get up and kick rethi Inbetween the legs for essentially clotheslining me off my horse. that's just rude!

Kick famine back, let them know that I'm working on a turn.

Attempt to summon Ithadtam's spirit into the giant suit of armor. If successful, perform an awesome high five.

(Resurrect Ithadtam)4
(Rethi vs Famine)1vs4
(Famine vs Rethi5vs1
(AWESOME HIGH FIVE)3+1,000,000,000

Time seems to stand still as Rethi and Famine face off. Rethi casts a quick spell on the armor, and then the two combatants charge one another, each going for a single brutal to the crotch. At the last second, Famine stops Rethi in his tracks with crippling hunger pangs, then sends him flying back with a kick. Before Rethi can fatally crash into a wall, he is caught by a massive gauntlet and set back on his feet. Ithadtam's ghost has taken his new form.

The high five is awesome.

"Enough of this, unbeliever! You've been nuisance to our cause for too long," said Eliphas to Milkdrinker. Then he ordered to Chaos Raptors to throw some melta-bombs at the remaining speakers, then distract Milkdrinker by attacking him. Eliphas climbs at the stage and is ready to deal with the musician.

If Chaos Raptors successfully distract Milkdrinker, grab his head from behind and rip it off. If not, bitch-slap Milkdrinker with my power fist six times, and then shred his belly with my Reaper Autocannon.
Send Ithadtam to fight to death against the Americans. Also, send a couple of Sorcerers to help Goatsby.
Main Army: Fortify the area around the city hall with Heavy Bolter Turrets.

((Goatsby, destroy the dimensional shield, please.))

COMMAND OUROBOROUS TO CIRCLE AROUND ME AND PREVENT ENEMIES FROM COMING CLOSER, ALLOW ANY ALLIES TO PASS BY THOUGH. CAST A SPELL TO SHATTER THE DIMENSIONAL BARRIER.

At the concert, Eliphas and Ithadtam begin stomping the metalheads...

"HOW YOU GUYS LOSING?? SO-CALLED "METALHEADS" GETTING BEATEN BY A BUNCH OF GREASY COSPLAY NERDS!
WHAT KIND OF FUKKEN WIMPS SHOWED UP TO THIS GIG, ANYWAY!? KILL THEM!"   

HAVE SPACELASER TUNE HIS UKULELE DOWN A BIT WHILST I FASHION THE BONES AND HIDES OF THE WEAK AND FALLEN INTO A GRUESOME, APOCALYPTICALLY-LOUD DRUMKIT, THIS PROJECT HOPEFULLY INSPIRING THE SURVIVING AUDIENCE TO FIGHT HARDER LEST THEY SHARE THE SAME FATE

THEN, LOB MY UKULELE INTO THE MIDST OF THE CHAOS ATTACKERS WHERE IT WILL (HOPEFULLY) EXPLODE IN A BURST OF HELLISH SHRAPNEL, SLICING THROUGH THEIR LEGS, GROINS AND ABDOMENS. WITHOUT WAITING TO SEE HOW WELL THAT WORKS, LAUNCH IMMEDIATELY INTO A SKULL-CRUSHING COVER OF THIS SONG, CHANGING THE LYRICS SLIGHTLY TO REPLACE "NAZARENE" WITH "MATT WARDIAN" AND "CHAPELS OF DIVINITY" WITH "STOREFRONTS OF NERD SHIT".
PERHAPS A PUMMELLING DRUMBEAT IS ALL MY FANS NEED TO START BEING LESS PATHETIC AND DRIVE THE NERD MENACE BACK

CHANNEL MY BAT-HERD AROUND ME, FORMING A LEATHER-WINGED, RABID, BITING MAELSTROM AROUND THE STAGE TO REPEL INTRUDERS

summon more ghosts
Templars destroy the chaos mages.
Ghost regiment moves to the battlefield and attacks Ithadtam

(Summon more ghosts)3
(Templars vs Sorcerers)2vs5-1
(Ghost regiment moves to the battlefield.)4
(Ghosts vs Ithadtam)3vs3
(Spacelaser)6
(Craft grisly drums)2
(Ukulele vs Chaos)4vs1
(Bat herd)2
(Ouroboros)5
(Break the barrier)5
(Raptors attack speakers)6
(Raptors can't distract Milkdrinker because of previous 6)
(Eliphas vs Milkdrinker)6vs5
(Ithadtam's suicide mission)2+1(for fighting to the death)vs6
(Sorcerers for Goatsby)3-1
(Chaos vs US)3vs3
(Anak vs New Hampshire)4vs1
(Crowd vs Chaos)1vs6

Spacelaser plays his ukulele so viciously it catches on fire as Milkdrinker attempts to build drums. The effort is futile, and he doesn't get it completed. The Raptors silence Spacelaser by destroying the last of the sound equipment with their bombs. The bombardment takes a while, and they aren't able to turn and fight Milkdrinker. Milkdrinker also tries to turn his bats into a shield, but they don't listen. In frustration, Milkdrinker hurls his ukulele at the Sorcerers, scattering them with the explosion of the accumulated Metal energy and shrapnel. Snarling in fury after all this interference with his plans, Eliphas marches up to Milkdrinker and backhands him to the ground. Goatsby brings the Oroboros to orbit around and defend him. The Sorcerers are unable to aid him, but Goatsby doesn't need them. With a mighty arcane strike, the god of beasts smashes the dimensional barrier around the world. The crowd attempts to wreck Eliphas for punching their hero, but a burst of his autocannon wipes out their front lines (and several rows back, at that) and stops the charge.

In the city, the war for Genericville continues. Ithadtam is sent on a deliberately suicidal charge into a line of Abrams. He turns one over, but then musket fire from the ghostly 5th regiment and the retaliating tanks finally destroy the zombie. Elsewhere, the US and Chaos forces battle inconclusively. Ziizo brings in the ghosts of Napoleon's 7th Infantry Regiment to join the 5th. The Templars attempt to finish off the Sorcerers, but quickly timed explosions by one of the less injured Sorcerers manages to frighten their horses into breaking off the charge.

Anak blitzes and conquers the city of Nashua.

Remove the Chupacabras.
Continue finding video evidence, just 1 video is not really enough.
Close that portal.
We clear?

(REMOVE CHUPACABRAS)5vs6
(Troops calling for evac)2
(Continue gathering evidence)6
(Reptillians vs Giraffe Snake)4vs4
(US raid on Chaos portal)5vs6

The unstoppable chupacabras are too much. The troops call for helicopters to evacuate them, but the swarming chupacabras prevent the choppers from finding anywhere to safely land in range of the troops.

Giraffe Snake sends an urgent message. He has an extensive file proving the international influence of Reptillian agents, but they know where he is now. He's currently trapped in a radio station in Luxembourg, desperately holding off Reptilian assassins.

The commandos call in a drone strike on the portal, but Chaos' advanced technology is able to prevent the airstrike.

Saitama
Curse the President under breath and start to fight the menace of Mexican folklore and goats

6v6

You splatter chupacabras left and right with one punch each, but there are so many of them that this tactic will not stop them before all of your allies fall.

Wait for my power armor
Ask the Emperor what he needs me to do.

As your new Terminator armor is brought in, the Emperor considers what to do.

THEY MAY BE UNUSUAL, BUT THEY'RE A VERSION OF OUR HOMEWORLD. TAKE A FLEET OF YOUR MARINES AND GO FREE THAT ALTERNATE TERRA FROM CHAOS.

Go see if the gift shop has some batteries or if they have one of those audio tours that you can find by calling a phone number. Also stop to make some idle chat with people.

4,2

The gift shop does have the batteries. The cashier apologizes for charging you, but the museum owner is a bit of a skinflint. The tour starts up and provides commentary on any paintings you stand near. You try to make conversation along the way. The first person you approach seems to be an art critic. He doesn't seem interested in talking, instead taking notes on a nearby painting.

(this is going GREAT!)

Barricade up the place. Get guns too.

Use my van key to remote-call it to the roof.

3,5
(Nazi zombies vs you and Richthofen)4vs3

You and Richthofen begin hurriedly trying to barricade the windows as Nazi zombies break in and attack you. Both of you grab some guns and start shooting back. The zombies claw and bite at you several times during the battle. Good thing it seems that Horsemen of the Apocalypse are immune to infection. You hear your van swoop in and land on the rooftop.

FIX THIS NONSENSE!  WITH !!SCIENCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

1

You come up with a perfect method to bring peace to all the world. Then you look again at your notes and realize it's really more philosophy than science. Muttering in annoyance, you crumple it up and toss it in the trash.

"Keep zoning out. Blast. Alright, move!" Force the engine to run through sheer willpower.

3

To your surprise, the engine chooses that moment to revive. Odd. It's still rattling, but you should be able to use it for a bit longer.

This cheese will give you inner strength to find your way on the path of milk!

Send my followers on path of milk

5

They taste the cheese, and being confronted by a living god seems to have made them especially theological. They pledge themselves to your path.

"How do I plead? Mwehehehehe... I think the better question is: How do you plead?"

Hasten the NEOOOOOOOOOO-DOOOOOOOOOOM MUUUUUUUUUG's arrival. Planeshift back to Earth just before it impacts Hell.

(Hasten the NEOOOOOOOOOO-DOOOOOOOOOOM MUUUUUUUUUG)1+1 to impact)(Sorry ATHATH, I was really rooting for you there.)
(Hell vs Doom Mug)3+0.5 to impact
(Escape Hell)3

The court looks on in shock as you attempt to crash the NEOOOOOOOOOO-DOOOOOOOOOOM MUUUUUUUUUG down on them. However, you forget to adjust for the unusual atmospheric conditions all the sulfur has created. The NEOOOOOOOOOO-DOOOOOOOOOOM MUUUUUUUUUG is instead slowed a bit. The demons capitalize on your link to "help" you slow it down. You summon a portal to escape Hell if you like*, but it's not quite the same without Hell getting smashed into dust on the way out.

*No roll if you still want to leave.

2.5 turns to Neo-Doom Mug impact

[spazyak]

When done with the tour go out and get some tea in a cafe and read a newpaper
((Also thanks, I'm going to have to listen and read this all when I can))

[Zefermcdwarfpants]

Saitama
Punch the ground below the mass of chupacabras,hopefully into the corner of earth, letting them pour in through the funnel.

[Glass]

Damnit!
Send in air reinforcements for the troops fighting the Chupacabras!
Have GS send the information out over the radio to every spot he can, and then have him evacuate. Once he does, it's time to lay low for a while. EDIT: Ge's using the power of his magic stealth imagination box.
Shut down that portal!
Have NASA and SETI send out a signal into space requesting aid to fight the forces of Chaos and their co-conspirators, the Reptilians.

[Yoink]

KICK THIS COSTUMED TWERP'S FEET OUT FROM UNDER HIM, THEN COMMANDO ROLL OUT OF HIS REACH, RAISE A FIST AND SHOUT FOR SPACELASER AND OUR SURVIVING FANS TO FOLLOW ME. [EDIT] VANQUISH ANYONE ATTEMPTING TO STOP OUR ESCAPERETREAT BY JAMMING THE SHARPENED SPIKES OF MY BRACERS THROUGH WEAKPOINTS ON THEIR HELMETS AND INTO BRAINS, OR IF THEY ARE UNARMOURED JUST KICK THE FACES OUT THE BACK OF THEIR SKULLS BEFORE CONTINUING ON [/EDIT]

GO HOTWIRE A (PREFERABLY BLACK) ZOO TOUR BUS AND HAVE EVERYONE PILE IN THERE, ALONG WITH OUR REMAINING INTACT MUSICAL EQUIPMENT, MY BAT HORDE AND ANY WOUNDED LUCKY ENOUGH TO BE CARRIED TO SAFETY BY THEIR COMRADES-IN-METAL. ENCOURAGE EVERYONE TO REDECORATE IT TO LOOK AS KULT AS POSSIBLE.

HAVE THE SOUND GUY RIG THE BUS'S SOUND SYSTEM TO PUMP OUT BLACK METAL AT THE HIGHEST POSSIBLE VOLUME, TO MAINTAIN OUR VARIOUS BUFFS AND BONUSES AS WELL AS HEALING OUR INJURIES, THEN LET'S PEEL OUT OF HERE AND DRIVE SWIFTLY ACROSS TOWN IN SEARCH OF ANOTHER SUITABLE VENUE OR A MUSIC STORE AT WHICH WE CAN RESUPPLY, GLEEFULLY PLOUGHING THROUGH ANY GAMES WORKSHOP NERDS, CHRISTIAN PRIESTS, GIRAFFES OR INNOCENT BYSTANDERS ALONG THE WAY   

EDIT: OR GOATSBY. ESPECIALLY GOATSBY.
ACTUALLY, IF I SEE GOATSBY ON THE WAY, TRY AND SEVER HIS HEAD AND STICK IT ON FRONT OF BUS.
WOULD LOOK METAL AS FUCK.

[Glass]

GLEEFULLY PLOUGHING THROUGH ANY GAMES WORKSHOP NERDS, CHRISTIAN PRIESTS, GIRAFFES OR INNOCENT BYSTANDERS ALONG THE WAY

REPTILIAN AGENT! HOW DARE YOU!

Anyway, all the giraffes vacated all the zoos ages ago, so you won't be finding any to plough through.

[Yoink]

WE DRIVING UNSPECIFIED DISTANCE ACROSS TOWN IN SEARCH OF SONIC WARFARE SUPPLIES, ENTIRELY POSSIBLE WE ENCOUNTER SOME   
ALSO I NOT FORGOTTEN WHAT THOSE UNSIGHTLY HOOVED FREAKS DID TO ME! I JUST WANTED MILK! >:C   

[Glass]

WE DRIVING UNSPECIFIED DISTANCE ACROSS TOWN IN SEARCH OF SONIC WARFARE SUPPLIES, ENTIRELY POSSIBLE WE ENCOUNTER SOME   
ALSO I NOT FORGOTTEN WHAT THOSE UNSIGHTLY HOOVED FREAKS DID TO ME! I JUST WANTED MILK! >:C   

LEGSWEEP THE MALE GIRAFFE TO THE GROUND, THEN KNOCK HIM OUT WITH A SICK ELBOW DROP BEFORE MOTORBOATING HIS LADYFRIEND MILKING THE FEMALE GIRAFFE INTO CUP

"I just wanted milk" my ass. That beatdown was completely deserved.

And no, the giraffes are unlikely to be found anywhere around the city. They've likely moved on to greener pastures.

[TheBiggerFish]

TRY AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Gwolfski]

Get to the rooftop. Drive/fly van to Genericville.

[Mallos]

"TODAY YOU DIE, EXPERIMENT 1! YOU'RE FAR PAST YOUR EXPIRATION DATE!"

COMMAND OUROBOROUS TO ATTACK MILKDRINKER. HURL NUMEROUS BOLTS OF DESTRUCTIVE ENERGY AT MILKDRINKER AND HIS BATS.

[CABL]

"Sorcerers, concentrate along with Goatsby! Goatsby, show the truth of Chaos to these bats! Raptors, throw the bombs at metalheads," ordered Eliphas to his nearby troops.

Eliphas: Grab Milkdrinker by the leg, preventing him from knocking me down, then throw him into the crowd of the metalheads.
Main Army: Order to the sorcerers to make the portal to be resistant to conventional methods, then chant the warcries, giving us +1 to combat, then attack and drive the Americans out of the city. Also, send a squad of Raptors to kidnap the American general, before attacking the enemy.
Eliphas: If Milkdrinker is dead, go and join the main army. If not, shoot at him.

Note: Enlightened vampire bats will try to lift Spacelaser in the air, then drop him into the portal.