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Milk

16 (45.7%)

Cookies

19 (54.3%)

Total Members Voted: 35

[Dark One]

((I'll post my first action then.))

Descend upon this mortal plane, try to sense any milk in the area.

[FallacyofUrist]

Wait for coffee to cool to warm. Drink.

[johiah]

Take some of the milk. Drink some.
Unless it is a big crate, then find a cup first.
Very good men, you may return to your assigned posts. I thank you for your assistance.

[Enemy post]

TURN 11

Ah, well. On to greener pastures.

Possess giraffes. All the giraffes. Everywhere.

6

All the giraffes then. Alright. Your presence rises into the air, above the bickering bovines, and stretches around the world. It is the greatest use of your powers to date. In dark clouds from the sky, you reach down into each and every one of the roughly 98644 giraffes in the world. In the zoos and the savannas, all the giraffes raise their heads attentively. As you take your place, you become one with the giraffes. The Shadow is gone. Long live the Giraffe Lord.

Mixing a little bit of the cursed milk with some remaining regular milk, a small saucer, as well as a few magical sit-ups, I Binding Saucer of Milk, a plate eternally filled with a little bit of milk. Whoever sips from it shal become a feline being, ranging from housecat to leopard to sphinx, that obeys my every command!

5

You craft the trap. The milk sits calmly, with none of the signs of its cursed origins.

pull my other cellphone the shoe shaped one. And check if you have the carpenter number saved in it.

6

You have the number to a master Miyadaiku shrine carpenter from Japan. Call her?

inquire about absence of Mallos' action
wrap up seizure, and try and summon two lightly armored mounted scouts to scour the area for female mammalian creatures

Can we build it?

Yes we can!

2
3,6

You continue to have a seizure. Meanwhile, your minions continue working. The construction grows larger as they lose track of the layout.

"You will pay for this, traitor..."

Pull a sword out of my ass
If Successful: Slash his left leg horizontally
If Failure: Prepare for Hand-to-Hand Combat: Await for his strike and interrupt his attack by suddenly grabbing and wrestling the sword, then disarm him

1,6 vs 2-1 for intimidation.

You don't have your sword, or any spares. The obstinate one raises his sword for a strike. It's been a frustrating day, and the fool has just given you an opportunity to vent. You sidestep and snatch the sword away as he stumbles past you. With a single brutal strike, you slice his arm off at the shoulder. He screams and grabs at the wound. You use your free hand to grab his wrist, and tear the remaining arm out of its socket. He falls back. You hear Lorgar's voice summon you.

Name: The Brian
Description: A horribly misspelled evil genius.
Why do you want milk?: SO I CAN TAKE OVER THE WORLD!!!!!!

Search for milk!

5

You exit your lab in the house, and whip out the melk-tracker you invented. You now have a map of all the milk for miles.

Use the emergency return button to bring back the time machine and get in it this time

3

Good thing you had the foresight to install that. The machine returns just the way it was when it left, with one exception. There's an unsettling bloodstain on the hull.

Apt for work at the McDonald's

(I'm assuming you meant ask for work.)

6

The cows that now rule the restaurant seem to be resolving their differences after that ghost left. They see you and decide to punish you for all the hamburgers you ate before their awakening. They choose to start with your mind, and force you to stand at a counter all day dealing with the public.

((Still accepting new players?))

Name: Armnotok
Description: An ordinary human... except that he's made of gold, with scriptures of milk upon his body. God of milk awakens after a long time without milk.
Why do you want milk?: Milk for the milk god!

((I'll post my first action then.))

Descend upon this mortal plane, try to sense any milk in the area.

5

The sky splits open, and you alight upon the rooftop of a mortal dwelling. The world stretches out before you. You telepathically detect all the milk in this settlement.

Wait for coffee to cool to warm. Drink.

5

Success! After a long battle, you finally drink your coffee. It's perfect.

Go drink some of OceanSoul's milk that isn't cursed or in a saucer. Revert to my corporeal human form if necessary. Win game.

6

You drink a ton of milk in your human form. So much so that you end up throwing it all up again.

Take some of the milk. Drink some.
Unless it is a big crate, then find a cup first.
Very good men, you may return to your assigned posts. I thank you for your assistance.

2

The milk is in a cart full of containers like this one. Your troops salute you and then teleport out to serve the Emperor elsewhere. You try to drink from one of the containers, but it spills.

MAGICALLY REPLACE THE OSTRICH'S HEART WITH MUTAGENIC MILK HEART. I WILL HAVE A HORRID ABOMINATION AT MY COMMAND!

5

With a quick spell, you swap out the heart. The world's first Dire Ostrich stands, ready to rip and tear.

[Rethi-Eli]

repeat previous action

[Glass]

XD Sure.

Set up a giraffe kingdom, encompassing all land on which we graze. We shall build vast castles, and all shall bow down to their giraffe overlords!

[FallacyofUrist]

Victory, right? The coffee had milk in it...

[OceanSoul]

Okay, I don't remember what was originally written that became sit-ups, but, nevertheless, I offer a homeless guy sip of the saucer's milk. If I find several, I make sure to approach them one-by-one and make sure they don't see the effects it had on others until he's already sipped it. Maybe I can find a few cats or dogs to give a sip to, too.

Ninja'd;

Victory, right? The coffee had milk in it...

There is no victory, except having the most milk, as well as the best milk, when the game ends. The specifics of the scoring system aren't decided yet.

[Enemy post]

Victory, right? The coffee had milk in it...

Right, you win! Now what will you do?

Edit:

Okay, I don't remember what was originally written that became sit-ups, but, nevertheless, I offer a homeless guy sip of the saucer's milk. If I find several, I make sure to approach them one-by-one and make sure they don't see the effects it had on others until he's already sipped it. Maybe I can find a few cats or dogs to give a sip to, too.

Ninja'd;

Victory, right? The coffee had milk in it...

There is no victory, except having the most milk, as well as the best milk, when the game ends. The specifics of the scoring system aren't decided yet.

Honestly, I'm kind of expecting you guys to eventually destroy the world and/or obtain absurd amounts of milk if I let you go long enough. I'll put up a poll to see if the thread wants a scoring system.

[FallacyofUrist]

Go to work, assuming it's a weekday.

[Rethi-Eli]

I personally think that a scoring system/winner is unnecessary - the world will be filled to the brim with eldritch horrors in no time.

[TheBiggerFish]

I HAVE SEARCHED FOR THE MILK!  NOW I WILL FIND THE MILK AND TAKE IT FOR MYSELF!  PROBABLY!

[ATHATH]

I've technically "won", right?

Combine my human and ghost-cow forms into the ultimate milk-producing lifeform (that's still sapient and has my mind). Produce ludicrous amounts of milk. Win game harder.

[Dark One]

Smash down through the roof and use telekinesis to gather all the milk in the settlement.

[CABL]

Eliphas walks to Lorgar and bows before him. "Accept the milk from me, for I struggled hard for it. Our legion must grow stronger, Chaos must grow stronger..."


Carefully handle milk to Lorgar. Win the game.
If successful: Request permission from Lorgar to get elite strike force (2 Obliterators and 10 Chaos Space Marines with heavy weaponry + 1 Land Raider for transporting them). The game may be won, but Chaos will always benefit from more milk.