TURN 13I roll a 6 sided dice.
Then, I use milk powers to rebuild the time machine, and sell it to soneone here.
But I keep the emergency return button and the remote controls.
1,2You roll a one. You feel like that's not a good sign. You then try to fix the time machine, but don't make any progress. The flux capacitor is all smashed into the Omega 13.
Good now go to grab a epic fantasy book.
3The one you wanted seems to have been checked out. There are some other books around that look interesting.
Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore—
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.
"'Tis some visiter," I muttered, "tapping at my chamber door—
Only this and nothing more."
Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the bleak December;
And each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon the floor.
Eagerly I wished the morrow;—vainly I had sought to borrow
From my books surcease of sorrow—sorrow for the lost Lenore—
For the rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name Lenore—
Nameless here for evermore.
And the silken, sad, uncertain rustling of each purple curtain
Thrilled me—filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before;
So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating
"'Tis some visiter entreating entrance at my chamber door—
Some late visiter entreating entrance at my chamber door;—
This it is and nothing more."
Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,
"Sir," said I, "or Madam, truly your forgiveness I implore;
But the fact is I was napping, and so gently you came rapping,
And so faintly you came tapping, tapping at my chamber door,
That I scarce was sure I heard you"—here I opened wide the door;—
Darkness there and nothing more.
Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing,
Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before;
But the silence was unbroken, and the stillness gave no token,
And the only word there spoken was the whispered word, "Lenore?"
This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the word, "Lenore!"—
Merely this and nothing more.
Back into the chamber turning, all my soul within me burning,
Soon again I heard a tapping somewhat louder than before.
"Surely," said I, "surely that is something at my window lattice;
Let me see, then, what thereat is, and this mystery explore—
Let my heart be still a moment and this mystery explore;—
'Tis the wind and nothing more!"
Open here I flung the shutter, when, with many a flirt and flutter,
In there stepped a stately Raven of the saintly days of yore;
Not the least obeisance made he; not a minute stopped or stayed he;
But, with mien of lord or lady, perched above my chamber door—
Perched upon a bust of Pallas just above my chamber door—
Perched, and sat, and nothing more.
Then this ebony bird beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,
By the grave and stern decorum of the countenance it wore,
"Though thy crest be shorn and shaven, thou," I said, "art sure no craven,
Ghastly grim and ancient Raven wandering from the Nightly shore—
Tell me what thy lordly name is on the Night's Plutonian shore!"
Quoth the Raven "Nevermore."
Much I marvelled this ungainly fowl to hear discourse so plainly,
Though its answer little meaning—little relevancy bore;
For we cannot help agreeing that no living human being
Ever yet was blessed with seeing bird above his chamber door—
Bird or beast upon the sculptured bust above his chamber door,
With such name as "Nevermore."
But the Raven, sitting lonely on the placid bust, spoke only
That one word, as if his soul in that one word he did outpour.
Nothing farther then he uttered—not a feather then he fluttered—
Till I scarcely more than muttered "Other friends have flown before—
On the morrow he will leave me, as my Hopes have flown before."
Then the bird said "Nevermore."
Startled at the stillness broken by reply so aptly spoken,
"Doubtless," said I, "what it utters is its only stock and store
Caught from some unhappy master whom unmerciful Disaster
Followed fast and followed faster till his songs one burden bore—
Till the dirges of his Hope that melancholy burden bore
Of 'Never—nevermore'."
But the Raven still beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,
Straight I wheeled a cushioned seat in front of bird, and bust and door;
Then, upon the velvet sinking, I betook myself to linking
Fancy unto fancy, thinking what this ominous bird of yore—
What this grim, ungainly, ghastly, gaunt, and ominous bird of yore
Meant in croaking "Nevermore."
This I sat engaged in guessing, but no syllable expressing
To the fowl whose fiery eyes now burned into my bosom's core;
This and more I sat divining, with my head at ease reclining
On the cushion's velvet lining that the lamp-light gloated o'er,
But whose velvet-violet lining with the lamp-light gloating o'er,
She shall press, ah, nevermore!
Then, methought, the air grew denser, perfumed from an unseen censer
Swung by seraphim whose foot-falls tinkled on the tufted floor.
"Wretch," I cried, "thy God hath lent thee—by these angels he hath sent thee
Respite—respite and nepenthe, from thy memories of Lenore;
Quaff, oh quaff this kind nepenthe and forget this lost Lenore!"
Quoth the Raven "Nevermore."
"Prophet!" said I, "thing of evil!—prophet still, if bird or devil!—
Whether Tempter sent, or whether tempest tossed thee here ashore,
Desolate yet all undaunted, on this desert land enchanted—
On this home by Horror haunted—tell me truly, I implore—
Is there—is there balm in Gilead?—tell me—tell me, I implore!"
Quoth the Raven "Nevermore."
"Prophet!" said I, "thing of evil!—prophet still, if bird or devil!
By that Heaven that bends above us—by that God we both adore—
Tell this soul with sorrow laden if, within the distant Aidenn,
It shall clasp a sainted maiden whom the angels name Lenore—
Clasp a rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name Lenore."
Quoth the Raven "Nevermore."
"Be that word our sign of parting, bird or fiend!" I shrieked, upstarting—
"Get thee back into the tempest and the Night's Plutonian shore!
Leave no black plume as a token of that lie thy soul hath spoken!
Leave my loneliness unbroken!—quit the bust above my door!
Take thy beak from out my heart, and take thy form from off my door!"
Quoth the Raven "Nevermore."
And the Raven, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting
On the pallid bust of Pallas just above my chamber door;
And his eyes have all the seeming of a demon's that is dreaming,
And the lamp-light o'er him streaming throws his shadow on the floor;
And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor
Shall be lifted—nevermore!
Conjure a container of any kind, find any source of water and pour it into container. Transorm water into milk!
6You create a large empty pit outside. Reaching up to the sky, you rend the clouds and create a citywide milk downpour. The pit starts to fill into a small pond.
"Sorry sir. I don't blame you. You shouldn't expect this to happen again, I intend to keep better track of my wallet from now on. What's the current project again?"
6"Well son, I appreciate an honest apology. I like your enthusiasm for the new project. Much better than the attitude of those bean counters. I expect good things from your work today!"
He begins describing the project in excessive detail. You try to pay attention as he rambles.
2vs6 Unfortunately, you miss a good number of crucial details. He leaves, satisfied with his explanation.
Establish ourselves as the global country of Giraffia. All are welcome to join our glorious country.
3People start noticing that the giraffes are showing unusual, long lasting social behavior. Some researchers approach to study the anomaly.
BEGIN SCREAMING FOR HELP
"OH GODS OH GODS IT FUCKING HURTS SOMEBODY HELP! GET THESE ASSHOLES OFF OF ME OUCH! C'MON LIGHT 'EM UP LIKE YOU DID HARAMBE! AAARGH"
CURL INTO AS SMALL A BALL AS POSSIBLE
DO MY BEST TO COVER HEAD WITH HANDS+ARMS WHILST AWAITING RESCUE FROM ZOOKEEPERS
(Stomp stomp stomp)
"Get him out!"
4vs1+24Somehow, you manage to roll around the vengeful hooves, and take no serious hits. The zookeepers frantically lower a rope and pull you out. The giraffes stomp around and bite as the zookeepers pull you away from the edge.
Scream violently and try to map out fortress so no others get lost in its depths
If successful, being thugs and acquire cows BUT DO NOT MILK THEM
6You head down and start mapping out the fortress/maze. You have to dodge past some traps and solve some riddles, but you make it to the catacombs where Ithadtam and the thugs were lost. They thank you for rescuing them. One of the thugs looks especially grateful as he stares thoughtfully at a short straw. The roar of the Catacomb Golem interrupts the celebrations as it stomps into the chamber.
DRINK LE MILK
Amplify my voice so everyone in the town can hear.
The enemy known as chaos undivided are attacking! Unite with me to fight them back!
3,3You drink some of the milk as the rest spills on your chestplate. Many of the local police rally around you, but the civilians stay back.
STUDY THE IMPURE MILK, AND SEE IF I CAN FIND OUT HOW THE HECK THE STORE EMPLOYEES HAVE SMGs, LIKE SRRIOUSLY, WHO GIVES THEIR STORE EMPLOYEES SMGs, THAT'S JUST INVITING A REVOLT FROM THE PEASANTRY.
Hostile active!
1,42vs5You scan the employees. The milk bonded with their bodies is charged with unknown energies, and your equipment can't understand it. The weapons you know more about. They're Heckler & Koch MP5s, often used in official roles by military or police forces. Between those and their tactics, you think the store is probably a front. A few of the "Employees" rush at you. They summon hardened cheese spikes out of their forearms and try to stab one of your knee gears, but you avoid the blow.
If the universe merger is disagreed to, expand my cat servant army.
4Your pack grows. You have quite a variety of cats now.
"Driver! Drive us directly to the city hall! If some puny cops or loyalist scum will try to stop us, don't stop and shoot them while driving. There's no time to lose! Today, the city will be ours!"
Drive to the city hall.
When Land Raider arrives on the location, open a warp portal and summon 2 armoured fists of Chaos! If there will be cops or someone else, give my strike force a command to destroy them.
If successful (Warp Portal): Order Chaos Predators to guard the Land Raider and then break through the doors of city hall.
If failure (Warp Portal): Break through the doors of city hall.
EDIT: I think I should put driving as an action.
1Your driver attempts to get to city hall, but gets lost and wanders around downtown Genericville for a while.
Ask if the next customer would like fries with their veggie-burger. Its obvious that we can't sell hamburgers any more. Right?
6The man slams his fist on the counter. "
I DIDN'T ASK FOR NO COMMIE VEGGIE-BURGER. GIVE ME A REAL BURGER. AND CLEAR OUT ALL THESE ANNOYING MASCOTS CLOGGING UP THE PLACE."
Decide that these Chaos guys would actually be a good ally. Tzeentch would be quite a beneficial patron for a magical goat totally human wizard like THE GREAT GOATSBY.
3You approach the Chaos forces as the wander the streets. They don't immediately shoot you, so that's a start.
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Topic: Minimalism and Milk (Read 222362 times)