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Milk

16 (45.7%)

Cookies

19 (54.3%)

Total Members Voted: 35

[Rethi-Eli]

Oh god

YES

EDIT: HUZZAH
ATTEMPT TO EMPOWER ITHADTAM
CHANNEL ALL OF MY ENERGY INTO HIS NASTY ROTTEN BOSY AND MAKE IT WHOLE ONCE AGAIN

[CABL]

Note to GM and Rethi-Eli: Nurglite Sorcerer will try to control Ithadtam. Also, shall Dark Apostle Anak be NPC, or still be under my command? If the answer is latter, then I've to edit my post to include his army's actions.

[Glass]

If the answer is latter, then I've to edit my post to include his army's actions.

No. No, you do not. We need to have an intervention about your action addiction.

[Mallos]

If the answer is latter, then I've to edit my post to include his army's actions.

No. No, you do not. We need to have an intervention about your action addiction.

Nonsense. It's a perfectly healthy addiction, like coffee! ((Provided you don't drink 30 pots a day...))

[Glass]

If the answer is latter, then I've to edit my post to include his army's actions.

No. No, you do not. We need to have an intervention about your action addiction.

Nonsense. It's a perfectly healthy addiction, like coffee! ((Provided you don't drink 30 pots a day...))

Which he does the equivalent of.

and it's kinda bullshit that Croc gets all those guys, I mean seriously

SM and I were just discussing that, actually. I'm the US government, the US president, and the country of Giraffia; I take 3 moves. Croc is a small army; he takes 13 moves. At the very least, there should be a penalty for that, if not just not allowing that many actions.

[Enemy post]

I'll treat Anak as an NPC.

[Yoink]

POINT OUT TO GM THAT MY AUDIO EQUIPMENT ALREADY DESTROYED (AM USING SPACELASER'S), SO ANY ATTACKS ON IT WOULD HAVE NO EFFECT!   

...IF I CAN'T THUSLY RULES-LAWYER MY WAY OUT OF DANGER, RECRUIT A SOUND GUY FROM THE AUDIENCE (HALF OF PRETTY MUCH EVERY CROWD USUALLY MADE UP OF ASPIRING AUDIO ENGINEERS ANYWAY) TO DEFEND OUR PERFORMANCE FROM TAMPERING, NATURALLY GIVING OUR DUAL-UKULELE ASSAULT AN MORE BEASTLY TONE WHILE THEY'RE AT IT

THAT SOUND ENGINEERING SHIT'S BASICALLY MAGIC ANYWAY, CAN'T BE MUCH HARDER TO PROTECT FROM ACTUAL SORCEROUS ASSAULTS


EITHER WAY SPACELASER AND I SHALL CONTINUE PLAYING. AFTER OUR CURRENT SONG FINISHES, EXHORT THE AUDIENCE MEMBERS TO BRING ME A BEER OR TWO. OR BETTER YET, MILK. ACTUALLY WAIT, SEE IF SOME BRAVE SOUL IS METAL (AND CALCIUM-RICH) ENOUGH TO BRING ME DRINKING HORN FILLED WITH MILK AND WHISKEY. THAT BE PERFECT COMBO RIGHT NOW

THEN ANNOUNCE OUR LAST SONG, UNLESS WE HAVING SOUND PROBLEMS I NEED TO DEAL WITH   

[CABL]

But Spacelaser's audio system is okay, so it can be corrupted. Okay, Mallos should corrupt Spacelaser's audio system instead. Not that it really matters.

[Mallos]

I edited my action to refer to Spacelaser's equipment instead. Nobody escapes Limp Bizkit vaporwave.

[TheBiggerFish]

ANTI-NEO-DOOM-MUG ACTION

[ATHATH]

Oh god

YES

EDIT: HUZZAH
ATTEMPT TO EMPOWER ITHADTAM
CHANNEL ALL OF MY ENERGY INTO HIS NASTY ROTTEN BOSY AND MAKE IT WHOLE ONCE AGAIN

"We have a pact, mortal."

Man, I wasn't even planning for this deal to backfire on you, but it feels appropriate for a deal with the Milk Devil, y'know?

[Enemy post]

TURN 26

Oh god

YES

EDIT: HUZZAH
ATTEMPT TO EMPOWER ITHADTAM
CHANNEL ALL OF MY ENERGY INTO HIS NASTY ROTTEN BOSY AND MAKE IT WHOLE ONCE AGAIN

3

You try to channel your energy to heal Ithadtam, but your contract comes into force. The energy is siphoned away to aid ATHATH instead.

Speed up arrival of NEO-DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM MUG. Order my minion to do the same. Use the magic of the contract to force him to comply, if necessary.

2+1

Using energy siphoned away from Rethi, you form rocket thrusters on the back of the NEO-DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM MUG. -1 turns to impact.

Roar in anger so the whole earth would quake. Summon an enormous halberd of milk and chop everything around to tiny pieces.

3

You roar and summon your halberd. You slice and dice your way through some buildings and cars and such. It's fun.

Land outside a shop that sells milk.

Contact the President if they have an assignement for me.

2

It turns out that Miilkvile doesn't have any milk, ironically enough. You call President Spades and he says he needs your help to build a giant laser to destroy the giant mug hurtling towards Earth.

"FUCK YOUR MUSIC, EXPERIMENT 1! I DIDN'T GIVE YOU BLOOD-SHOOTING EYEBALLS FOR THIS!"
Corrupt Spacelaser's audio to play this unholy trash beautiful masterpiece.

POINT OUT TO GM THAT MY AUDIO EQUIPMENT ALREADY DESTROYED (AM USING SPACELASER'S), SO ANY ATTACKS ON IT WOULD HAVE NO EFFECT!   

...IF I CAN'T THUSLY RULES-LAWYER MY WAY OUT OF DANGER, RECRUIT A SOUND GUY FROM THE AUDIENCE (HALF OF PRETTY MUCH EVERY CROWD USUALLY MADE UP OF ASPIRING AUDIO ENGINEERS ANYWAY) TO DEFEND OUR PERFORMANCE FROM TAMPERING, NATURALLY GIVING OUR DUAL-UKULELE ASSAULT AN MORE BEASTLY TONE WHILE THEY'RE AT IT

THAT SOUND ENGINEERING SHIT'S BASICALLY MAGIC ANYWAY, CAN'T BE MUCH HARDER TO PROTECT FROM ACTUAL SORCEROUS ASSAULTS


EITHER WAY SPACELASER AND I SHALL CONTINUE PLAYING. AFTER OUR CURRENT SONG FINISHES, EXHORT THE AUDIENCE MEMBERS TO BRING ME A BEER OR TWO. OR BETTER YET, MILK. ACTUALLY WAIT, SEE IF SOME BRAVE SOUL IS METAL (AND CALCIUM-RICH) ENOUGH TO BRING ME DRINKING HORN FILLED WITH MILK AND WHISKEY. THAT BE PERFECT COMBO RIGHT NOW

THEN ANNOUNCE OUR LAST SONG, UNLESS WE HAVING SOUND PROBLEMS I NEED TO DEAL WITH   

(Sound guy vs Goatsby)6vs6+2
(Sorcerers)5
(Milkdrinker's request)2

The twin ukuleles rock the zoo for a time. Then Goatsby arrives. With the aid of a few sorcerers, Goatsby unleashes corrupting magic on the sound equipment. Milkdrinker calls on a sound engineer from the crowd to save the show. The engineer duels the magic, but eventually the ukuleles are drowned out by the sound of awfulness.

((No problem, my loyal sorcerer! Also, I've a better idea for you! I give you some Sorcerers as a support, and in exchange you'll corrupt Milkdrinker's audio system to play Limp Bizkit vaporwave. Deal?))

Portal screeches with demons' voices, summoning more reinforcements and replenishing the ranks of dead Chaos Marines. A couple of Fellblades also arrive on the battlefield. Decimator Tank and Nurglite Sorcerer join the main army. "I guess we can have a temporary alliance with those angry cows... We'll send them reinforcements as a symbol that we have the same enemy at the moment." Said Eliphas to his troops. A couple of Chaos Marine Squads embark inside Land Raiders, ready to kill some US military forces. Meanwhile, Word Bearers are ready to destroy the Men of Iron, once and for all.

Along with my army, crush those Men of Iron already! Also, send a couple of Sorcerers to aid Goatsby's action.
Help Angry cows by sending them reinforcements, then propose temporary alliance with them.
Fellblades and Chaos Basilisks shall keep the US military from advancing.

((BTW, Who created (and controls them) these Angry cows?))

Forget what I said about the new format, I'll go with abstract 3 actions per turn.

Note to GM and Rethi-Eli: Nurglite Sorcerer will try to control Ithadtam. Also, shall Dark Apostle Anak be NPC, or still be under my command? If the answer is latter, then I've to edit my post to include his army's actions.

(Chaos vs Men of Iron)3+1vs1
(Sending troops)5
(Chaos vs Military)5vs4
(Ithadtam vs Sorcerer)2vs2

The Nurglite Sorcerer tries to control Ithadtam, but is forced to defend himself from the undead knight's attack. The massive gauntlets crash down on the dirt as the Sorcerer dodges aside. Meanwhile, Eliphas sends some troops away on other business, sets up artillery to hold off the US forces, and finally gets to work finishing off the Men of Iron. The machines fight to the finish, but they are weakened by the ongoing battle and finally fall.

The Chaos troops rescue a Bovine squad from capture by military forces. Perhaps this will aid in their bid for an alliance.

Anak again attempts to conquer Concord, but the city is prepared for him this time and drives him back. If Anak attacks again, it will be his last chance before needing to regroup.

1-1vs2

Text Oichi with my new location. Then try to initiate a friendly conversation with the ghosts

1

You send the text and try communicating with the dead. They shriek and swarm out of the walls, throwing heavy and sharp objects at you. Seems they aren't friendly ghosts.

The Emperor has awake? This is great news!
But where is he now, there are things I must tell him.
Request a meeting with the Emperor, assuming he is on Craftworld Ulthwe

2

The Eldar inform you that the Emperor was, quote:"REALLY BUSY, OKAY?" and left on urgent business after your mind was drawn into battling the Traitor forces.

Yes, set up the teleporters! And then go and warn everyone about the new Doom Mug!
Mr. Lincoln, would you happen to know where this "Shaun O'Brian" may be? I feel that this may be im- [interrupted by NASA bringing news of new Doom Mug] "...I'm so very sorry Mr. Lincoln, but we'll have to cut this short." I need to get NASA and the military back to work on that space laser project that they'd started earlier.

6,5,4

The teleporters are set up. However, one of the links in the southwest US bursts open after a while. Zerg and Protoss start pouring out and battling each other. The Neo-Doom Mug soon becomes a even greater issue. The Giraffia diplomats rally the world against the apocalyptic cup and all the nations begin preparations to slow or stop it. +2 turns to impact. President Spades is forced to break off his meeting with Abraham Lincoln to restart work on the laser. Work begins. The laser should be ready to launch and destroy the Mug in 3 turns.

"Well #*]^" "What is it" "Another Doom Mug" "FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! Well, the upper atmosphere is lovly this time of year" "Yes, yes it is"

Fly back up on wings of blackness and send this new mug to THE VOID, so it's very NAME is erased from existence. If I fail, try again, if I succeed, track down the one responsible and cut whatever he uses to do magic off him.

EDIT: Should I succeed, I would like everyone to replace wherever they mentioned the Doom Mug with blank spaces.

6

You soar into space and snare the Neo-Doom Mug in darkness. You successfully toss the Mug into the Void. However, your power is too great. With the Mug, you draw the Earth and Moon into the Void as well. White blankness fills the sky.

>Go play a Minecraft bootleg () and milk a cow in the Minecraft bootleg.

2

You log on to Minecraft. You spawn in your house, and go to milk your cow. Looks like you don't have any buckets though. You remember you lost them when that skeleton knocked you off a bridge while mining.

"Okay and oh shoot what the heck is that." *Notices neo-doom mug* "That's... I... okay, new plan. One, we're going to point this out to my boss, and two, we're then all going to come to my house and throw an end-of-the-world party. I'm fairly sure I've got some really rare unopened vintage, now's probably the time to use it."

6

You head out back home as the sky turns white above you. You get home to find that your house is simply gone. In its place is a massive milk lake carved out of the landscape with a matching cathedral. It also turns out that word has spread about your apocalypse party. A lot of people are starting to show up.

Get the science cows the equipment they need

5+1

With a daring and perfectly executed break-in at Area 51, your cows capture a cloning device from a lab. All you need now is to calibrate it to cow genetics. Your band is nearly captured on the trip home, but Chaos troops intervene to assist your cows.

ANTI-NEO-DOOM-MUG ACTION

1

The Graviton Stomper backfires! The Mug is instead drawn closer to the Earth as the sky goes white. -1 turns to impact.

4 turns to Neo-Doom Mug Impact.

[ATHATH]

Shouldn't the NEOOOOOOOOO-DOOOOOOOM MUUUUUUUUUG have hit by now? It was 5 turns away last turn, 1 turn has passed since then, and my turn, Glass's turn, and TheBiggerFish's turn together reduced the doom clock by 4 turns.

[Glass]

Shouldn't the NEOOOOOOOOO-DOOOOOOOM MUUUUUUUUUG have hit by now? It was 5 turns away last turn, 1 turn has passed since then, and my turn, Glass's turn, and TheBiggerFish's turn together reduced the doom clock by 4 turns.

No, we added time. EP didn't communicate that clearly, but all of our actions were to prevent the mug from happening.

Anyway, just saying a thing works on "xen" without telling me what that is is not a fair thing to do. 

Set the military to work on getting rid of the xen problem, and have War help with that.
Continue work on the laser.
Have Giraffian scientists working on figuring out where we are, and the Giraffian military also work on getting rid of the xen.

[ziizo]

In that case eat the ghosts absorbs their powers.