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Thank you for playing Minimalism and Milk!

Milk
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Total Members Voted: 35


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Author Topic: Minimalism and Milk  (Read 215871 times)

CABL

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Re: Minimalism and Milk (Turn 26)
« Reply #555 on: June 02, 2017, 06:11:02 am »

Zerg and Protoss are always nice, but how 'bout some Inter-dimensional Chupacabras invading the Earth too? They'll mostly invade Asian countries, tho.

go to area 51. also acquire Putin's phone no..

Genericville is American city, calling Putin to deal with it will cause WWIII. Do you wish to start World War Three, yes or no?

He's war, he gains strength from conflict and tries to start it wherever he goes.

I really dislike Putin despite being Russian, okay? Let's not bring the politics into this RTD, they give me a headache...
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Much less active than I used to be on these forums, but I still visit them on occasion. Will probably resume my activity in full once Dwarf Fortress will be released on Steam.

Gwolfski

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Re: Minimalism and Milk (Turn 26)
« Reply #556 on: June 02, 2017, 07:05:37 am »

Zerg and Protoss are always nice, but how 'bout some Inter-dimensional Chupacabras invading the Earth too? They'll mostly invade Asian countries, tho.

go to area 51. also acquire Putin's phone no..

Genericville is American city, calling Putin to deal with it will cause WWIII. Do you wish to start World War Three, yes or no?

He's war, he gains strength from conflict and tries to start it wherever he goes.

I really dislike Putin despite being Russian, okay? Let's not bring the politics into this RTD, they give me a headache...

ok. Name a generic Russian leader at this time.
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Eventually when you go far enough the insane start becoming the sane

Glass

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Re: Minimalism and Milk (Turn 26)
« Reply #557 on: June 02, 2017, 07:14:27 am »

Королевские клубы (Google Translate is fun)
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Glass is, as usual, correct.
Yep, as ever, I bestow upon Glass the expected +1
I'm gonna say we go with whatever Glass's idea is.

Gwolfski

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Re: Minimalism and Milk (Turn 26)
« Reply #558 on: June 02, 2017, 07:23:00 am »

ok. Change my action to go to area 51 and contact russian leader.
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CABL

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Re: Minimalism and Milk (Turn 26)
« Reply #559 on: June 02, 2017, 07:40:25 am »

Nah, you can have all Donald Trumps and Vladimir Putins, just don't discuss real-world politics here. It's a silly game about milk, no need for satirical political commentaries.
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Much less active than I used to be on these forums, but I still visit them on occasion. Will probably resume my activity in full once Dwarf Fortress will be released on Steam.

Yoink

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Re: Minimalism and Milk (Turn 26)
« Reply #560 on: June 02, 2017, 08:21:32 am »

He's war, he gains strength from conflict and tries to start it wherever he goes.

I really dislike Putin despite being Russian, okay? Let's not bring the politics into this RTD, they give me a headache...
((HE TALKING ABOUT GWOLFSKI'S CHARACTER YOU SILLY NUGGET, IS APOCALYPSE HORSEMAN))



POINT OUT GOATSBY AND HIS CREW AS THE SOURCE OF THIS UNPLEASANT INTERRUPTION, FANS WILL DOUBTLESS ENTER A BLOODY RAGE
WHILST SOUND GUY ATTEMPTS TO GET THINGS UNDER CONTROL, LOB THE EMPTY MUG FROM MY HOT CHOCOLATE AT GOATSBY TO DISTRACT HIM, HOPEFULLY AT THE VERY LEAST REMOVING HIS +2 AND/OR LEAVING HIM MORE VULNERABLE TO ATTACK BY CROWD...

PREPARE UKULELE TO UNLEASH A FRESH BARRAGE OF RIFFS AS SOON AS SOUND FIXED, TO MAKE UP FOR THIS VILE NOISE   
SPACELASER AND I SHALL ALSO FEND OFF ANY ATTACKS ON OUR PERSONS, OF COURSE, USING MY HANDS-FREE KICKING TECHNIQUE THAT WORKED SO WELL EARLIER, AND WITH HELP FROM MY BAT ALLIES WHO FILL THE CAVES AROUND US.
   
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you need to reconsider your life
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star2wars3

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Re: Minimalism and Milk (Turn 26)
« Reply #561 on: June 02, 2017, 09:14:24 am »

Calibrate the cloning machines to clone cows. Rebuild ye mighty cow armies of Moo.
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((That tends to happen when you're optimistic enough to wait out the apocalypse. I wish them plenty of luck, but chances are they'll need it.))

FallacyofUrist

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Re: Minimalism and Milk (Turn 26)
« Reply #562 on: June 02, 2017, 11:10:03 am »

"Okay, my house is missing. Maybe my barbecue machine survived, though." Look for that. And party supplies.
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Would you like to play a game of Mafia? The subforum is always open to new players.

Glass

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Re: Minimalism and Milk (Turn 26)
« Reply #563 on: June 02, 2017, 11:37:10 am »

"Okay, my house is missing.
Is this said in an incredulous voice, or a bored one? Considering this game, I can't tell.
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Quote from: FallacyOfUrist (on Discord, 11/15/21)
Glass is, as usual, correct.
Yep, as ever, I bestow upon Glass the expected +1
I'm gonna say we go with whatever Glass's idea is.

johiah

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Re: Minimalism and Milk (Turn 26)
« Reply #564 on: June 02, 2017, 07:07:28 pm »

"Okay, my house is missing.
Is this said in an incredulous voice, or a bored one? Considering this game, I can't tell.

This is pretty siggable.
« Last Edit: June 02, 2017, 07:09:22 pm by johiah »
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On a fun note, all of the beds just starting disintegrating

Enemy post

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Re: Minimalism and Milk (Turn 27)
« Reply #565 on: June 03, 2017, 12:46:55 am »

TURN 27

Set the military to work on getting rid of the (alien) problem, and have War help with that.
Continue work on the laser.
Have Giraffian scientists working on figuring out where we are, and the Giraffian military also work on getting rid of the (aliens).

4,4,3+1vs3-1

Your scientists improve the laser. It will deploy in 2 turns. The Giraffian scientists do some dimensional readings and find that you are effectively nowhere. The Earth has been removed from all dimensional space.

The giraffes link up with their human counterparts through the working teleporters and go to battle against the aliens. It would have been a draw, but the Giraffian-US alliance fighting the divided aliens is enough to defeat them.

A person with supernatural abilities attacks the White House, but is chased away by your guards.

Zerg and Protoss are always nice, but how 'bout some Inter-dimensional Chupacabras invading the Earth too?

There's no time to celebrate, however. Chupcabra hordes descend from the mountains, attracted by the smell of blood.

In that case eat the ghosts absorbs their powers.

6v2,

...Om nom nom. You devour the ghosts and absorb their powers. You now have telekinetic abilities and a non-haunted house.

Fly up to the sky and destroy whatever's threatening to destroy world and my cathedral.

4vs4

Ceasing your rampage, you zoom into orbit and see the Mug rocketing down toward you. You strike it with your halberd. It isn't destroyed, but it is knocked back. +1 turn to impact.

The Warp Portal keeps pouring more and more infantry and land vehicles, but suddenly, it became unstable. The Warp Portal creates lightning-like sounds, and the troops stopped pouring out of it. "Sorcerers, why troops stopped coming out of this portal," asked Eliphas. Then he looked at the sky,
and he realized that the Earth was sucked into The Void, somehow. "Sorcerers! Half of you will help Goatsby, and the other half will try to keep the portal stable! We need to get the Earth out of The Void, or we'll lose our reinforcements," said Eliphas to Chaos Sorcerers. Then Eliphas ordered his army to start looting the city for milk. Malls, supermarkets, groceries stores, or even just markets, all must be looted for the milk! Meanwhile, reinforcements have hunted down routing US troops and killed them all. The temporary alliance between Hell Bovines and Chaos Forces has been established.

Give out the orders above.
Order to Nurglite Sorcerer to keep trying to control the giant zombie knight.
Order to Fellblades to roll over the shocked metal fans, then charge at both Milkdrinker and Spacelaser along with my Terminators, and rip their heads off!



Note: Chaos' reinforcements will be under the control of Fatio. Use them wisely, Fatio.
(I didn't say that the US troops were routed, just that they were being held off by your artillery.)
POINT OUT GOATSBY AND HIS CREW AS THE SOURCE OF THIS UNPLEASANT INTERRUPTION, FANS WILL DOUBTLESS ENTER A BLOODY RAGE
WHILST SOUND GUY ATTEMPTS TO GET THINGS UNDER CONTROL, LOB THE EMPTY MUG FROM MY HOT CHOCOLATE AT GOATSBY TO DISTRACT HIM, HOPEFULLY AT THE VERY LEAST REMOVING HIS +2 AND/OR LEAVING HIM MORE VULNERABLE TO ATTACK BY CROWD...

PREPARE UKULELE TO UNLEASH A FRESH BARRAGE OF RIFFS AS SOON AS SOUND FIXED, TO MAKE UP FOR THIS VILE NOISE   
SPACELASER AND I SHALL ALSO FEND OFF ANY ATTACKS ON OUR PERSONS, OF COURSE, USING MY HANDS-FREE KICKING TECHNIQUE THAT WORKED SO WELL EARLIER, AND WITH HELP FROM MY BAT ALLIES WHO FILL THE CAVES AROUND US.
   
Goatsby's +2 came from the Sorcerers rolling a 5 to assist him. You succeeded at distracting him while they got another 5, so now it will be a +1.
"HEY, SORCERERS! HELP ME OUT HERE!"
THE GREAT GOATSBY attempts to summon a colossal ouroboros to aid the forces of Chaos
(Goatsby summoning Ouroboros)4+1
(Milkdrinker's guy repairing the sound)5
(Chaos vs Military)2vs5
(Sorcerers assisting Goatsby)5
(Nurglite vs Ithadtam)3vs1
(Chaos vs Metal fans)1vs2
(Milkdrinker distracting Goatsby)6vs3
(Milkdrinker vs Eliphas)3+1vs5

In the city, the military gets involved. The normal soldiers begin swarming the Chaos troops. The Nurglite sorcerer again dodges a blow from the zombie knight. "Surrender thy brains, Heathen!" Ithadtam shouts. The battle is then ended when the Sorcerer manages to wrest control of the magics again and puppet Ithadtam.

The fight continues at the concert. Milkdrinker's sound engineer fixes the curse on the speakers and has them playing even better than before. With the aid of the Sorcerers, Goatsby summons the Eternal Serpent above the crowd despite Milkdrinker's mug striking him in the face. He even manages to do it without being so metal that it would help the musicians. The crowd clashes with the attacking tanks and Raptors. Their punches, thrown rocks, and folding chairs do little but bounce off their enemies' armor, but it's still disorientating. Eliphas himself leaps onto the stage. Milkdrinker and Spacelaser defend themselves with bat swarms and kicks. Eventually, Eliphas grabs Milkdrinker's leg, lifts him up, and hurls him through an exhibit window. Some exotic fruit bats fly out as Milkdrinker groans.

(Anak vs Concord)4-2vs1

Anak makes his final attempt to take Concord. With stealthy raids, he is able to actually take the city.

"I AM SO CONFUSED RIGHT NOW WHAT"
Am I still bound by contract to help ATHATH? Jaunt over to the White House and attempt to destroy the anti-doom mug laser. If this breaks my contract...

Find a cheap roadside motel, somewhere nobody can find me. Go to the local drug store, get a prescription for my constant headaches. Buy a small bottle of whiskey and a cheap paperback novel. Read the book, drink the whiskey, then take every last pill and lay down with a smile.


"I'll be joining you soon, brother in arms."

(Rethi vs White House)4vs6
(Rethi finds a motel)4

You attack the White House. You tear open the front door and begin throwing lightning bolts around. The tallest Secret Service agents you've ever seen open fire on you with machine gun mounts attached to their heads. You realize as you take cover that the laser is probably not in the White House itself, it's most likely undergoing construction at a NASA base somewhere. Anyway, your powers are suddenly fading. Your contract must have been ended somehow. You retreat with what you have left, intending to kill yourself. When you're in the motel room, you receive a text from one of your thugs.

"Ur giant got hypnotised or smthn. Hlp pls.  :("

"I AM SO CONFUSED RIGHT NOW WHAT"
Am I still bound by contract to help ATHATH? Jaunt over to the White House and attempt to destroy the anti-doom mug laser. If this breaks my contract...

Find a cheap roadside motel, somewhere nobody can find me. Go to the local drug store, get a prescription for my constant headaches. Buy a small bottle of whiskey and a cheap paperback novel. Read the book, drink the whiskey, then take every last pill and lay down with a smile.


"I'll be joining you soon, brother in arms."
Is this a statement of suicidal intent, because it really sounds like one. Hell's lawyers are already working on the breaking of your contact, they are the masters of theses kinds of contracts, they can definatly break them.

"Ring Ring Ring" "Yes... Gabriel! What! Certainly,I'll take the job." "What was it" "Have you ever seen it's a wonderful life?" "...Briliant" "Can we do this?" "I think so" "By the power of Heaven and Hell, we split to cover both our duties!

Angelo and Diablo split. Diablo continues the previous actions and Angelo flys down to earth on wings of fire, spreading good cheer and happiness like a badass Santa Clause to preform his mission, to prevent a man from throwing away the gift given to him by god, his life.

(Breaking the contract)4
(Saving Rethi)1-2(For power split with Diablo)

Hell's lawyers find a means to break Rethi's contract. Turns out he wasn't actually able to legally sell his soul, as he had already agreed to Facebook's terms of service.

Meanwhile, Angelo tries to find Rethi and prevent his suicide. It's much harder in your weakened state. You must have wasted your time preventing about 40-50 other suicides before realizing they weren't the right guy.

CONTINUE ANTI-NEO-DOOM-MUG ACTIONS

((@ATHATH: I actually lol'ed at that meme.))

5

You were saving it for a rainy day, but the Singularity Uncloaker seems like just the thing for this. Gravity goes to the corner and cries while you cause it to push the Mug away from Earth. +2 turns before impact.

I must go.
Uttering a prayer to the Emperor, attempt to teleport through the warp to the nearest Imperium held planet.
Or, if I can use the webway, ask an Eldar to guide me. Because I am no psyker and that would be WAAAAAYYYYYY safer.

Would be funny if this accidentally turned into Emprahsque and Milk, where everyone was Primarchs and we screwed around in the Wh 40kverse.

1

The Eldar seem to want you gone. You teleport away, aiming for the nearest Imperium world. It doesn't work out how you had expected. You arrive on a agrarian world inhabited only by a single band of Imperial survivors and an invading Tyranid fleet. The survivors seem grateful but confused by your arrival as the ones who still have working lasguns fight off Hormagaunts.

go to area 51. also acquire the Russian leader's phone no..
(I thought about making the Russian leader Rasputin to avoid real political arguments in the thread and had it posted that way at first, but I guess it should be Putin.)
2,4

You fly towards Area 51. You run out of gas on the way and are forced to land to pick some up. The flying mode always did eat through fuel quickly. You open up a phone book and find Putin's number.

Calibrate the cloning machines to clone cows. Rebuild ye mighty cow armies of Moo.

1

You start up the cloning machines. The process backfires and angry dinosaurs begin to spill out into your base. Jeff Goldblum calls to tell you that this was inevitable.

"Okay, my house is missing. Maybe my barbecue machine survived, though." Look for that. And party supplies.

1

Unfortunately, the barbecue and party supplies did not survive whatever catastrophe destroyed your house.

"#>>%?}£?#€!#€?#€,|€?#€,{£,\€£\>¥}[%==~\_>€••€<\]}%+=£" "That is a lot of profanity, it is though, well deserved"

Use the power of Negative Magic to return the earth and moon to their regular positions in our world, leaving the Doom Mug in The Void, where it very Memory, shall disappear.

EDIT: Leave ATHATH in The Void as well.
Quote from: Auto ATHATH
Protect the mug.
(I think I should let ATHATH attempt to protect his Mug this time, since I let Gulliman hit back when Johiah was absent and this includes an attempt to abandon him.)

(Change dimensions)4vs5

You try to change dimensions, but ATHATH flies over and grapples you before you can cast your spell. You are able to send back the Moon, at least.

+6 turns to impact
« Last Edit: June 03, 2017, 01:34:02 am by Enemy post »
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Dark One

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Re: Minimalism and Milk (Turn 27)
« Reply #566 on: June 03, 2017, 12:59:51 am »

Hurl a powerful milk-spear at the mug.

Mallos

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Re: Minimalism and Milk (Turn 27)
« Reply #567 on: June 03, 2017, 01:23:34 am »

"BEHOLD! GAZE UPON THE ETERNAL SERPENT, AND DESPAIR! THE MOST POWERFUL CREATURE OF CHAOS, OUROBOROS!"
THE GREAT GOATSBY bleats laughs maniacally. With the Eternal Serpent flying above, he knows victory is certain.

COMMAND OUROBOROS TO STRIKE ANY NEARBY ENEMIES MAD WITH THE SIGHT OF IT'S ETERNAL SELF-CONSUMPTION. ATTEMPT TO FORCE THE EARTH OUT OF THE VOID WITH THE ASSISTANCE OF THE SORCERERS SO THAT REINFORCEMENTS WILL FLOW FROM THE PORTAL ONCE MORE.
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ATHATH

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Re: Minimalism and Milk (Turn 27)
« Reply #568 on: June 03, 2017, 03:46:07 am »

Banish all who wish to stop or slow the approach of the NEOOOOOOOO-DOOOOOOOOOM MUUUUUUUUG to some nightmarish dimension of DOOOOOOM or something. Also, hasten the approach of the NEOOOOOOOOO-DOOOOOOM MUUUUUUG.
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Seriously, ATHATH, we need to have an intervention about your death mug problem.
Quote
*slow clap* Well ATHATH congratulations. You managed to give the MC a mental breakdown before we even finished the first arc.
I didn't even read it first, I just saw it was ATHATH and noped it. Now that I read it x3 to noping

CABL

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Re: Minimalism and Milk (Turn 27)
« Reply #569 on: June 03, 2017, 05:58:28 am »

"Stealth squad, prepare to take out the enemy general! Main army, retreat towards the portal and prepare for the attack," said Eliphas to his troops via the vox-caster. After giving the orders, Eliphas goes for the guy who repaired the sound.

Give out the orders above, then go and kill the audio guy.
Order to the Fellblades to use their flamers to burn the angry crowd to ash, then send Terminators after Milkdrinker.
When the military will attack us, Nurglite Sorcerer shall send Ithadtam in the front to take all enemy fire on himself.



((Stealth squad has cloak device and sniper rifles.))
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Pounded in the Butt by my own Government... oh wait, that's real life.

Much less active than I used to be on these forums, but I still visit them on occasion. Will probably resume my activity in full once Dwarf Fortress will be released on Steam.
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