TURN 30Grab wallet and lose change and head to super market.
1You head to the supermarket, but end up making a wrong turn and end up at the art gallery instead.
Develop working dimensional shielding to prevent any and all teleportation between universes within a mile of the Earth's surface.
Get rid of those damned Chupacabras already.
Accept all the help we can get.
Press for an international ban of the use of magic or mad science on milk, to prevent any more of these atrocities.
(Shields)
5(US/Giraffia vs Chupacabras)
5vs6(Milk-alteration ban)
1+1The shields go up, and the Warp portals of Chaos go down. Only one survives, apparently due to its special warding spells. You give the superhero your endorsement to save Genericville and he flies off to do so. Things don't go so well for the anti-chupacabra forces. The chain of command starts to break down as the chupacabras cut off and surround pockets of your soldiers. The ban on Milk-altering dies when you submit it to the UN. Even your political skill is only sufficient to prevent outright disaster. When you wonder later on why the other leaders were so aggressively against your proposal, you receive a letter.
It consists only of one word:"Usurper."
Some facts about demons.
Mammon: Demon of greed, currently waiting for ATHATH's arrival so he can be tried.
Asmodeus: Demon of lust, currently in Vegas, snorting cocaine off the bodies of prostitutes.
Belphegor: Demon of sloth, currently working on magic AMP Mech (That will try to kill Goatsby) to hack into Goatsby's magic and send that instead of whatever he is trying to summon.
Beelzebub: Demon of gluttony, currently preparing to be the Judge in ATHATH's trial.
Leviathan: Demon of envy, currently trying to find and kill Goatsby.
Lucifer/Satan: Demon of pride/wrath, currently splitting his consciousness so he may both attend the MILKDRINKER concert and work as the prosecuting attorney for ATHATH's trial.
The demons don't like you, and are currently enjoying themselves if they aren't preparing to SUE YOUR ASS (and the rest of you).
"HA HA HA" "Whats so funny?" "The jackass who keeps trying to destroy the world just got called in to my place for trial" "If I didn't hate him in a totally holy and righteous way I would feel sorry for him, your trials are evil." "So is everything else we do"
Fly down and land in Shoreham N.Y., then begin moving towards Nikola Tesla's lab, I have something important to do.
2 Diablo becomes dominant.
You get a bit lost on the way to the lab. Diablo becomes dominant as you search.
!@#$ it. Use the magic of the court-summons to bring the NEOOOOOOOOOOO-DOOOOOOOOOM MUUUUUUUUUUG into Hell, then shift it the remaining dimensional distance to the NEOOOOOOOOOOO-DOOOOOOOOOM MUUUUUUUUUUG's (former) handle's current dimension. While I'm in Hell, persuade Beelzebub to help defend my case against Mammon if he isn't already going to (and participate in the trial, if necessary).
3,1As you are summoned to the courts of Hell, you bring along a drink. However, you are unable to send it back out. The Mug comes in shooting through the ashen sky. You attempt to get Beelzebub to help you with your case, but he appears to be enjoying your probable torment.
Saitama
Inquire about ways to help the Giraffe dictatorship democracy, probably by forming a new moon out of something, like the doom mug if it's still on this earth. probably by stopping the war out in the middle of the streets of a town named genericville, first starting with the band MilkDrinker, help them out by thinning out their opposition, if that's possible at this point
Chaos Marines cheer as the weak American troops run away to regroup. "Artillery, fire at those maggots," screamed Eliphas to the Chaos Basilisks. "Word Bearers, rejoice! Terra is back at it's place! But we need more Fellblades to drive the Americans out of our city. Sorcerers, re-establish the warp portal and help Goatsby," ordered Eliphas to his Chaos Sorcerers. Meanwhile, Chaos aircraft arrived to fight for the air superiority...
Give out the orders above, Chaos will go into counter-charge after sorcerers summon more Fellblades.
Go to the concert along with zombie Ithadtam* and protect Goatsby from the metalhead crowd.
If I successfully protect Goatsby from the crowd, go and join the counter-attack against the Americans.
*Ithadtam will barf rot at the crowd if I fail to do so.
Note: Chaos aircraft vs American aircraft should be a separate roll.
CROWDSURF MY WAY OUT FROM THE STAGE AND TOWARDS GOATSBY
SHRIEK THE FOLLOWING AT HIM DURING OMINOUS ATMOSPHERIC LULL IN CURRENT SONG:
"HOUSEMATE GOATSBY! YOUR SORCEROUS TALENTS ARE WASTED SERVING THESE PITIFUL LARP-LOVING NERDS! SATAN PROPERLY REWARDS HIS FOLLOWERS! HAVE YOU SEEN THE DEVASTATION OUR BLACKENED UKULELE METAL HAS WROUGHT IN HIS NAME, WITH HIS BLESSING? JOIN ME, OR DIE WITHOUT EVER HAVING KNOWN TRUE POWER!"
IF GOATSBY AGREES TO CHANGE SIDES: DROP FROM MY PLACE ATOP THE CROWD, HAND GOATSBY MY UKULELE OF UNHOLY MIGHT (THUS INITIATING HIM INTO OUR NEW 3-PIECE BAND) AND TAKE A FIRM GRIP ON MY MICROPHONE TO FOCUS ON VOCALS FOR THE NEXT VERSE, WHICH SHALL AIM TO WHIP MY BELOVED FANS INTO EVEN MORE OF A FRENZY WHILST ALSO CALLING UPON OUR LORD SATAN TO HELP US CRUSH THESE CHAOS POSERS ONCE AND FOR ALL
LEAD THE CHARGE AT THAT ELIPHAS DUDE AND WHATEVER NEW BUDDIES HE HAS HAND-WAVED IN THIS TURN, SCREAMING MY RAGE INTO THE MICROPHONE AFTER I TEAR THEM APART WITH MY CLAWS (WHICH WILL SOMEHOW BE BURSTING OUT OF THE TWISTED FLESH WHERE MY HANDS WERE PREVIOUSLY, BECAUSE WELL, WHY NOT? SEEMS APPROPRIATE)
IF GOATSBY CONTINUES TO MISGUIDEDLY SERVE THESE CHAOS WEAKLINGS: BEHEAD HIM WITH MY UKULELE JUST AS SPACELASER CARVES OUT A FRESH BARRAGE OF BRUTAL RIFFAGE, POSSIBLY CHANNELLING THE POWER OF METAL INTO THE INSTRUMENT TO STRENGTHEN IT AS I STRIKE
IF IT BREAKS ON IMPACT, WELL, JUST GRAB THE STRINGS, TACKLE GOATSBY FROM MY CROWD-SURF POSITION AND STRANGLE HIM HORRIBLY TO DEATH WITH THEM, THAT PROBABLY BE EVEN COOLER REALLY
>SOUND GUY: WAKE THE FUCK UP AND MAKE SURE ALL THIS BRUTALITY SOUNDS AS BADASS AND EAR-CRUSHINGLY LOUD AS POSSIBLE
"I SERVE NOBODY BUT MYSELF. DO NOT PRESUME THAT I WILL REMAIN CONTENT WITH MY POSITION AS A SORCERER... I'M GOING TO CLIMB EVEN FURTHER, MILKDRINKER! A GREAT MANY CRUEL FATES WORSE THAN ANY FORM OF DEATH LIE IN STORE FOR THOSE WHO OPPOSE ME- STARTING WITH YOU!
FUCK SUMMONING, THIS SHIT IS PERSONAL NOW. CALL UPON MY POWERS AS A GOD OF BEASTS TO CHANNEL THE IMMENSE STRENGTH OF THE TARRASQUE, A TITANIC BEAST OF MAGIC, AND UNLEASH AN OBLITERATING COMBO OF PHYSICAL ATTACKS UPON MILKDRINKER.
Ask Napoleon if he accept to team up to destroy the chaos menace.
Use Skype to observe the attack of the Crusaders to the chaos army.
(One Punch Man vs Chaos)
3vs6(Team up)
6(Crusaders vs Chaos)
3vs1(US vs Chaos/Ground)
6vs1(US vs Chaos/Air)
4vs4(Summoning more Fellblades)
4("Invincible" portal vs Dimensional shield)
2vs1I'll have Eliphas and Ithadtam fight together, rather than having him as a second roll if the first doesn't go well.
(Eliphas&Ithadtam vs Crowd)
2+1vs2(Spacelaser channeling power)
3(Sound guy)
6(Milkdrinker vs Goatsby)
1+0.5vs3(Goatsby channeling the Tarrasque)
1(Punch out Milkdrinker)
6-1vs6(Anak vs New Hampshire)
2+1vs2The Sorcerers summon another group of Fellblades before their portals are shut down. Only the one they had put extra effort into defending remains open. It had been down when the Earth was going through dimensional shifts, but has now become Chaos' only source of reinforcements.
Around the city, the Americans battle Chaos. The aerial dogfights don't see a clear winner. An F22 collides with a Hell Blade and the twisted wreck smashes into the local Home Depot. However, the Americans make major gains on the ground. They bring in a major armored group that smashes into the occupied half of the city and begins destroying Chaos artillery emplacements. To make matters worse for the Word Bearers, a bunch of archaic knights join the battle against them and slay the chimera.
At the concert, Eliphas and Ithadtam begin stomping the metalheads as the Ouroboros rises up to consume more of itself. The metalheads are unable to attack Goatsby due to the crushing assault. The sound guy awakens and takes a moment to realize he's not still in a nightmare.
Having secured his alliance with the President, Saitama lands in the crowd and starts trying to punch Chaos Raptors. The Raptors dodge his casual punches with the aid of their jump packs. A few of them disrupt his balance by detonating the ground under his feet.
As Milkdrinker's offer of collaboration is rejected by Goatsby, both are angered. Milkdrinker draws some strength as Spacelaser adds some dramatic musical buildup to his charge and Goatsby attempts to draw power from the mighty Tarrasque. When Goatsby tries that, he hears a voice in his head say:
"NICE TRY". His strength is instead sapped as he goes for the punch. Goatsby and Milkdrinker each swing. Both miss, but they crash into each other and fall back.
In Paris, Ziizo offers an alliance to the ghost of Napoleon. The former Emperor says that he will agree if Ziizo promises to help him retake his empire after Chaos is dealt with. Ziizo then watches as his crusaders join the battle. It seems a force of Knights Templar has joined the battle with swords and mail. They slay a mythical chimera as you watch.
Dark Apostle Anak attempts to conquer more of New Hampshire, but is unable to do so without abandoning the locations he has already taken. He is able to raid some US reinforcements on their way to battle the Bovine insurgency or Genericville's attackers.
Conjure a giant, but empty, suit of very heavy armor. Aim for about the size of a house.
4You succeed. It stands outside the motel, looking a bit like a statue.
Return to my cathedral, raise more milk monsters.
3You fly back to your cathedral. You notice a large gathering of humans near the bridge. Entering your home, you spawn a few new milk monsters. They're nothing remarkable, but they seem loyal.
"Bloody heck. It's the end of the world! Bloody well move!" Kick the car engine, let's se if that works.
2It doesn't work. At least the sky is normal again.
Combine most of the element 115 and the tech to form better tech. [Attack Doom Mug[ if in same dimention
Call Richthofen and ask him whether he wants to be a horseman of the apocalypse.
(Based on the references to Element 115, I'm assuming you mean
this Richtofen, not
the Red Baron.(Tech)
6(Richtofen)
4You work on the new technology. You create a chemical that holds some promise for revitalizing dead tissue. You call up Richtofen. He immediately agrees and specifically requests to take the role of the Horseman of Death.
Acquire Dinosaur Milk, ignoring the fact that dinosaurs aren't even mammals.
3You only get a few bottles, in the process confirming
this fringe theory.Yeah. I tried to find my own way since you left me on the Eldar craftworld. What on Terra were those creatures?
Look around for a guardsman, commissar, or space marine to fawn these unfortunates that tailed along onto.
6After the Emperor gives a brief lesson on Tyranids, you find a Rogue Trader in need of new crewmembers. He promises to be real careful with them and not throw their lives away. Unnecessarily.
3 turns to Neo-Doom Mug impact in Hell.
Poll
16 (45.7%)
Author
Topic: Minimalism and Milk (Read 220428 times)