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[theTrueMikeBrown]

I am currently working on a children's book.

Here is page 1:

=====
Lala is a big strong goat,
the bravest goat of all.
She likes to fight to help her friends,
or sometimes just to brawl.
=====

Feedback welcome.

[theTrueMikeBrown]

page 2:
Clarabel is Lala's friend,
to friendship she's inclined.
Though she is small and often scared,
Her nature's very kind.

[theTrueMikeBrown]

page 3:
There also are some chickens there,
each chicken's name is Dot.
They're very good at eating bugs,
but kind -or brave- they're not.

How many chickens? I don't know.
There seem to be a ton.
You'd think that they'd have different names,
but they have only one.

[theTrueMikeBrown]

Page 4:
The favorite thing for goats to do,
is fight when they're at play.
They rear right up on their hind legs,
and make a threat display.

If that's enough, they end their threats,
but sometimes it is not:
They'll smash their heads together then,
and tussle 'round a lot.

Now chickens fight in different ways,
and goat-fights are intense,
the Dots all flee into the barn,
whenever they commence.

[theTrueMikeBrown]

And though Lala was brave and strong,
and won most frequently,
Luck sometimes favored Clarabel:
she'd snatch the victory.

[IndigoFenix]

Looks nice.  It also looks that you're basing this on real animal behavior, which is unusual and welcome.

The dominant goats in a herd (male and female) are generally responsible for fighting off predators.  Maybe include that in the story, it could make a good lesson for children.

[theTrueMikeBrown]

Ha ha - you saw right where this story is going!

It is based on something that actually happened with my goats when a dog got into their pen.

I have more prose already, but the pictures are not yet finished, so I will post the rest (as it currently stands) when I get it done

[theTrueMikeBrown]

Now on one day (a sunny day),
the goats were fighting there.
They heard a rustle in the bush,
and both did stop to stare.

[theTrueMikeBrown]

Clarabel at once was scared,
and cowered on the ground.
The chickens paid the sound no heed,
and wandered all around.

Lala advanced intrepidly,
sniffing at the air.
She bleated "Me-eh". She pawed the ground.
She flashed an angry glare.

[theTrueMikeBrown]

Then suddenly a wolf emerged,
took Lala by surprise!
The others fled into the barn,
and peeked out with wide eyes!

[theTrueMikeBrown]

It charged the barn, but Lala struck,
and and knocked it off it's paws!
The wolf was so confusamuddled,
it knew not where it was.

Getting back up off the ground,
the wolf again attacked,
but Lala bowled it o'er again!
Into the ground it smacked.

[theTrueMikeBrown]

The wolf was rolling on the ground,
it heard an angry bleat.
Each time it tried to get back up,
it couldn't gain it's feet!

For each time it rose up on it's feet,
then Lala struck once more.
She chased the hungry wolf away,
then guarded the barn door.

[theTrueMikeBrown]

Clarabel and the chickens too,
showered her with praise!
She rested on her laurels then,
for many, many days.

Lala is a big strong goat,
the bravest goat of all.
She likes to fight to help her friends,
or sometimes just to brawl.

[WillowLuman]

(PTW)

[StrawBarrel]

Lala's a true hero. This is a great story.