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Author Topic: ROLL TO GET NUKED  (Read 5080 times)

TankKit

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Re: ROLL TO GET NUKED
« Reply #15 on: May 10, 2017, 10:16:08 am »

USE THE POWER OF MANLINESS TO SCARE THE NUKES INTO SUBMISSION, AND THEN USE THEM TO BLOW UP THE EVIL ALIEN OVERLORDS!

MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANLLLLLLLLLLYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
Logged
“I would stop you from doing unholy experiments with my people, but I don’t actually care about their well-being and I kinda want to see what happens”

Spoken like a true god TankKit.

CABL

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Re: ROLL TO GET NUKED
« Reply #16 on: May 10, 2017, 11:34:54 am »

USE THE POWER OF MANLINESS TO SCARE THE NUKES INTO SUBMISSION, AND THEN USE THEM TO BLOW UP THE EVIL ALIEN OVERLORDS!

MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANLLLLLLLLLLYYYYYYYYYYYYYY


But... there are no aliens, sir! The nukes were launched by "miscellaneous Asian country(s)".
Logged
Pounded in the Butt by my own Government... oh wait, that's real life.

Much less active than I used to be on these forums, but I still visit them on occasion. Will probably resume my activity in full once Dwarf Fortress will be released on Steam.

TankKit

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Re: ROLL TO GET NUKED
« Reply #17 on: May 10, 2017, 02:14:20 pm »

USE THE POWER OF MANLINESS TO SCARE THE NUKES INTO SUBMISSION, AND THEN USE THEM TO BLOW UP THE EVIL ALIEN OVERLORDS!

MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANLLLLLLLLLLYYYYYYYYYYYYYY


But... there are no aliens, sir! The nukes were launched by "miscellaneous Asian country(s)".
ARE YOU CHALLENGING MY MANLINESS!?

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII'M MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!
Logged
“I would stop you from doing unholy experiments with my people, but I don’t actually care about their well-being and I kinda want to see what happens”

Spoken like a true god TankKit.

OceanSoul

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Re: ROLL TO GET NUKED
« Reply #18 on: May 10, 2017, 02:19:46 pm »

USE THE POWER OF MANLINESS TO SCARE THE NUKES INTO SUBMISSION, AND THEN USE THEM TO BLOW UP THE EVIL ALIEN OVERLORDS!

MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANLLLLLLLLLLYYYYYYYYYYYYYY


But... there are no aliens, sir! The nukes were launched by "miscellaneous Asian country(s)".
ARE YOU CHALLENGING MY MANLINESS!?

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII'M MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!

If one of those asians came here without a passport, they'd be an illegal alien.
Logged
Work on a potential forum game for my return to Bay12. Figure out parts that puzzled me before. Find more things to figure out that I can't. Work on another game instead of solving them. Get distracted and stop working. Remember it a week or two later. Remember I'm still on hiatus. Illogically, Be too ashamed to return yet. Repeat ad nauseam.

Finally have a game completely ready. Wait a week before posting it out of laziness.

Dustan Hache

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Re: ROLL TO GET NUKED
« Reply #19 on: May 10, 2017, 02:19:53 pm »

activate my skyshield emitters to generate a large hard-light barrier deflecting the blast away from my critical research facilities, and then call down a orbital strike on the offending countries!
Logged
I figure at some point, you're just gonna run outta fucks to give and just off yourself whenever you get hurt at all. It's not like there's any downsides to it. Hangover? Suicide will fix that. Stubbed your toe? Suicide. Headache? Suicide. Papercut? Suicide.

kingboxz

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Re: ROLL TO GET NUKED
« Reply #20 on: May 11, 2017, 03:57:00 pm »

Flee to my private bunker. Make sure its stocked with enough food to survive.
Logged

Yoink

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Re: ROLL TO GET NUKED
« Reply #21 on: May 12, 2017, 07:25:19 am »

Create diplomatic negations with said enemy, by utilizing reverse-psychology, that if they blow us up it will only to a Nuclear Holocaust for everyone. Most people don't want that, unless their entire government is ran by revolutionaries than sure.
[1] YOUR ATTEMPT TO CONTACT LEADERS OF ENEMY NATION RESULTS IN THEM DIVERTING AT LEAST ONE NUKE TO YOUR LOCATION SPECIFICALLY   

GREAT

Get on a boat!  Boats be safe from nukes!
[2] YOU HAVE NO BOAT
AND GM'S HOUSE PRETTY FAR FROM ANY DECENT-SIZED BODIES OF WATER

...KINDA WEIRD SINCE AREA IS NAMED 'RESERVOIR'

Keep on digging.
[3] YOU KEEP GOING... GETTING KINDA TIRED THOUGH

OR IS DIRT GETTING HARDER? CAN'T TELL, BUT THIS IS HARD WORK, UGH
YOU'RE JUST ON VERGE OF GIVING UP WHEN SOME GUY RUNS OUT OF THE HOUSE AND DIVES INTO YOUR HOLE, CAUSING SOME DIRT TO FALL BACK IN AS HE DOES SO. WHAT A JERK. AT LEAST THIS GIVES YOU EXCUSE TO TAKE BREAK

Status Gained: Tired (physically)!
Status Gained: Feelin' the burn!
Traits Gained: Extremely sweaty, Unpleasantly smelly
   


Start tying fireworks to the GM house for your scape to space plans
[6] YOU PILE AN IMPRESSIVE AMOUNT OF DYNAMITE (READ: A TRUCKLOAD) AROUND GM'S HOUSE

GOOD ENOUGH RIGHT

Item Acquired: Truckload of dynamite(piled around GM's house)!   

We're at the GM's house? Easy, then; I type a turn for ROLL TO GET NUKED at his computer that undoes the nukes, whether they're all duds or some other such thing.
[3] VS [5] GM BREAKS EMPTY BOTTLE OF BOURBON OVER YOUR HEAD, THEN THROWS YOU OUTSIDE AND CLOSES DOOR

THAT HURT

THERE'S SOME DUDE DIGGING FURIOUSLY IN FRONT YARD, ALSO A FEW RED CYLINDRICAL OBJECTS LYING AROUND NEAR YOU... CANDLES?

Status Gained: Bleeding from head!
Item Acquired: Glass splinters(embedded in head)!


Erase the nukes from existence through intense meditation and Solipsism. Failing that I'll probably just eat a block of cheese and wait for death by nuclear explosion.
[5] YOU BEGIN MEDITATING INTENSELY IN BATHTUB WHILST EATING FISTFUL'S OF GM'S HOUSEMATES' HALOUMI CHEESE
IS DELICIOUS
ALTHOUGH ENLIGHTENING

YOU REALLY PUT THINGS IN PERSPECTIVE

Item Acquired: Haloumi cheese!
Item Acquired: Enlightenment!


Activate force field surrounding my house.
[6] YOU PRESS BUTTON ON YOUR REMOTE CONTROL, ACTIVATE IMPERVIOUS, NUCLEAR-GRADE FORCE FIELD AROUND YOUR HOUSE

...YOU AT GM'S HOUSE THOUGH
UH

Item Acquired: Home-defence forcefield remote!

STOP NUKES WITH MIND. SAVE DAY. BE HAILED AS HERO.
[5] YOU MANAGE TO CONVINCE A BUNCH OF PEOPLE ON THE INTERNET THAT YOU ABOUT TO STOP NUKES WITH MIND POWERS

LIVESTREAM ON YOUTUBE, CLOSE YOUR EYES AND MAKE MYSTICAL "BWEEBWEEBWEE" SOUNDS WHILST ANGRILY RUBBING YOUR TEMPLES

YOU HAVE LOT OF VIEWERS, WOW
THEY DONATING TOO

SOME WASHED-UP CELEBRITY BRIEFLY JUMPS IN FRONT OF CAMERA+MIC AND MUMBLES SOME CREEPY HIPPY SHIT, BUT PEOPLE DON'T SEEM TO MIND TOO MUCH

TRY TO HIJACK GLOBAL BROADCAST AND IF SUCCESSFUL, SAY THIS SENTENCE TO STOP THE NUKES, AND START THE ERA OF LOVE AND PEACE!


Yes, I play as Tommy Wiseau in this RTD, why do you ask?

If nukes will succeed, will this RTD turn into "Roll to survive in the Post-apocalyptic wasteland"?
[4] YOU ARE THAT GUY, YOU HIJACK ATATH'S LIVESTREAM, YOU SAY "IF A LOT OF PEOPLE LOVED EACH OTHER, THE WORLD WOULD BE A BETTER PLACE TO LIVE" IN WEIRD-AS-HELL VOICE TO ATATH'S GROWING BASE OF VIEWERS

MISSION SUCCESS. NOT SURE IF STOPPED NUKES THOUGH
ALSO GM REALLY NEED TO WATCH THAT MOVIE

Trait Gained: Tommy Wiseau!

AH FUCK

TURN INTO BIGGER NUKE THAN THE NUKES NUKING ME

YOU CAN'T OUTNUKE A BIGGER NUKE

[2] YOU DECIDE THAT YOU NOW SEXUALLY IDENTIFY AS A HUGE NUCLEAR MISSILE

GOOD FOR YOU

Become a god
Destroy nukes

[4] YOU BECOME BUDDHA

YOU DON'T REALLY DO SHIT, JUST SIT AROUND ON GM'S COUCH EATING FOOD
START PAYING RENT ALREADY YOU FAT FUCK

USE THE POWER OF MANLINESS TO SCARE THE NUKES INTO SUBMISSION, AND THEN USE THEM TO BLOW UP THE EVIL ALIEN OVERLORDS!

MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANLLLLLLLLLLYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

[2] YOU A BEAUTIFUL, STRONG, INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND DON'T NEED NO MAN!

Trait Gained: Female!
Item Acquired: Lady parts!
Status Entered: Oppressed(Patriarchy)!


activate my skyshield emitters to generate a large hard-light barrier deflecting the blast away from my critical research facilities, and then call down a orbital strike on the offending countries!
[4] WAIT, WHY YOU HAVE THIS CRAZY LAB SHIT IN GM'S HOUSE ANYWAY

GM WANTS TO KNOW WHEN YOU GOING TO PAY SOME RENT
GM HASSLING YOU TOO MUCH FOR YOU TO CONCENTRATE ON ACTIVATING YOU SHIELD-STRIKE DOO-DADS AND THINGIMABOBS

Item Acquired: Research Facility(in GM's house)!
Status Gained: Distracted(-1 to actions not involving paying some goddamn rent already)!


Flee to my private bunker. Make sure its stocked with enough food to survive.
[2] YOU RUN INTO FRONT YARD AND BELLY-FLOP INTO YOTTAWOT'S SLIGHTLY-LARGER-THAN-GRAVE-SIZED PIT

YOU FIND A SINGLE RAISIN IN YOUR BACK POCKET
GOOD ENOUGH RIGHT?

Item Acquired: Raisin x1!   


GM WOULD LIKE TO BLAME SHITTY INTERNET FOR SLOWNESS OF UPDATE
ALSO BEEN BUSY BEING AWESOME   
TOO BAD   
Logged
Booze is Life for Yoink

To deprive him of Drink is to steal divinity from God.
you need to reconsider your life
If there's any cause worth dying for, it's memes.

CABL

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Re: ROLL TO GET NUKED
« Reply #22 on: May 12, 2017, 07:43:08 am »

MAKE A SEQUEL TO "THE ROOM" CALLED "THE ROOM II: JOHNNY RETURNS: REVENGE: NOW WITH ZOMBIES!: COLON CANCER" AND ACTUALLY TRY TO MAKE IT AWESOME, INSTEAD OF SO BAD IT'S GOOD LIKE THE FIRST MOVIE WAS.
ALSO, MOVIE MUST HAVE ANTI-NUKE AND ANTI NUCLEAR POWER MESSAGE SHOVED DOWN UPON VIEWERS' THROAT ASS WHEN SOME AWKWARD PROFESSIONALLY-MADE SEX SCENE IS SHOWN.



EDIT: Corrected "sex scene is going on" and "showed down upon viewers' ass" to "sex scene is shown" and "shoved down upon viewers' ass".
« Last Edit: May 12, 2017, 12:53:54 pm by CrocAndBearLover »
Logged
Pounded in the Butt by my own Government... oh wait, that's real life.

Much less active than I used to be on these forums, but I still visit them on occasion. Will probably resume my activity in full once Dwarf Fortress will be released on Steam.

OceanSoul

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Re: ROLL TO GET NUKED
« Reply #23 on: May 12, 2017, 08:02:25 am »

BREAK BACK INTO GM'S HOUSE, PRESS CAPS LOCK, THEN WRITE IN TURN FOR THIS RTD WHERE NUKES TURN OUT TO ALL BE DUDS.
Logged
Work on a potential forum game for my return to Bay12. Figure out parts that puzzled me before. Find more things to figure out that I can't. Work on another game instead of solving them. Get distracted and stop working. Remember it a week or two later. Remember I'm still on hiatus. Illogically, Be too ashamed to return yet. Repeat ad nauseam.

Finally have a game completely ready. Wait a week before posting it out of laziness.

ziizo

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Re: ROLL TO GET NUKED
« Reply #24 on: May 12, 2017, 08:31:46 am »

cover the GM house in a giant soap bubble to complete steep 2 of my escape to space in 3 simple steeps plan.
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GG, Ziizo. May my spirit live on in your boobs.

TankKit

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Re: ROLL TO GET NUKED
« Reply #25 on: May 12, 2017, 08:33:38 am »

...

NO.

I SHALL BECOME MALE.

MALE.

MA-LE.

DO-YOU-UN-DER-STAND?
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“I would stop you from doing unholy experiments with my people, but I don’t actually care about their well-being and I kinda want to see what happens”

Spoken like a true god TankKit.

Imic

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Re: ROLL TO GET NUKED
« Reply #26 on: May 12, 2017, 09:16:15 am »

THE BUDDHA WAS NOT FAT!
I HAVE BEEN PAYING PLENTY OF RENT!
I AM GOD NAO, SO I GET TO KILL YOU!
I go to the dangerous places and destroy nukes, getting a +1 to everything because I'm a god now.
If I fail, then I go off and rebuild the planet somewhere else.
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Imic's no longer allowed to vote.
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Regrets every choice he made and makes, including writing this here.

NRDL

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Re: ROLL TO GET NUKED
« Reply #27 on: May 12, 2017, 12:39:03 pm »

Go to my house, be protected by forcefield.
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GOD DAMN IT NRDL.
NRDL will roll a die and decide how sadistic and insane he's feeling well you do.

Mallos

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Re: ROLL TO GET NUKED
« Reply #28 on: May 12, 2017, 02:28:05 pm »

Use newfound Enlightenment to found a powerful cult of psychics based upon the philosophy of Solipsism.
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Gone. Departed. Headed off toward greener pastures.

Devastator

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Re: ROLL TO GET NUKED
« Reply #29 on: May 12, 2017, 02:37:40 pm »

Spaceships!  Spaceships are immune to nukes!  Acquire Starfighter!
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