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[OceanSoul]

Go and toss the Bolo in the pit. No offensive action this turn, just full dodge other than that.

[Yottawhat]

Urist, you forgot my sheet!

Give switch on my watch a flick.

[NAV]

Grab that bolo and stop Blue from throwing it in the pit! Then punch his face with my other hand with a brass knuckle.
"Give me all your loot, asshole!"
Then incinerate his face with fire breath because why not.

Dancing Grape Golem knows exactly what to do.

[Person]

Help get the bolo back by cutting Blue's arm off.

(Sorry for lateness.)

[FallacyofUrist]

(Sorry for lateness.)

((It's fine.))

Turn 42: The Meaning of Looter's Delight

INIT:
OceanSoul/THE AMAZING BLUE(49-20=29)
NAV/Dave Blade(4)
Person/Raphael(33)
Coolrune206/Frank(18)
Posessed Manticore(48)
Dancing Grape Golem(13)
GigaGiant/Capko Eagleson(49)
Yottawhat/Willam A. Drango(79)
Dark Wizard(60)

William A. Drango watched as the battle got even more chaotic.

Urist, you forgot my sheet!

Give switch on my watch a flick.

William A. Drango tapped the button on the watch. The watch stopped ticking, and William noticed that his heart stopped beating. William realized that he was made of gold. Not durable, but he certainly didn't have to worry about internal organs. When turn 42 ended, the watch started ticking again, William became biological, but the button remained depressed...

The dreaded Dark Wizard was annoyed. Why couldn't his magic work?

Blast him!

Darkness!(2)

The Dark Wizard snapped his fingers, and nothing happened.

Capko Eagleson took advantage of this.

Steal the Wizard's hat and then run out of the lair to safety.

Snatch Steal!(3) vs. Dark Shield!(3)

Capko rushed forwards, but then the Dark Wizard threw out a blast of dark smoke in his direction. When it cleared... Capko had thoroughly failed to steal the wizard's hat.

The Friend Cloak looked to take a human host.

Hm... how about somebody that won't fight back?

The possessed Manticore walked over to the spinning corpse that was Grimmy.

Necromancy!(3)

The Manticore swiped at Grimmy's whirling corpse, but missed.

Raphael looked to help his friend Dave Blade defeat his foe Blue!

Help get the bolo back by cutting Blue's arm off.6

Katana!(6) vs. Dodge!(3-1=2)

Around came the katana, which bit into Blue's arm.

Katana!(1, 6 = 6) vs. Resist!(4)

Raphael swung his katana, which hit Blue's broken arm. Blue CRIED OUT in pain, especially because the katana blade was stuck in Blue's arm.

THE AMAZING BUT INJURED BLUE did NOT like this at all!

Go and toss the Bolo in the pit. No offensive action this turn, just full dodge other than that.

Blue had two arms, not just ONE! The trivial task of tossing the bolo into the pit was made difficult by the pain in his broken and cut arm, but no matter, Blue WOULD succeed!

Throw!(3) vs. Catch!(3)

The bolo shot through the air and landed on the pit's edge, despite Dave Blade's effort.

Extra Effort!(3)

Blue was rather IRRITATED about this. He would have to complete the job NEXT TURN...

Assuming he still lived...

Frank was worried about the spinning corpse, though it honestly wasn't much of a threat at this point.

Frank grabs the chalice and splashes Grimmy with it if he comes near. He then continues maintaining distance, smacking with the crossbow again if he nears.

Frank watched at Grimmy's corpse spun around, and held up his chalice threateningly, to no avail, for Grimmy did not come near him.

Dave Blade liked the idea of killing Blue. As did his minion.

Murderize!

Grab that bolo and stop Blue from throwing it in the pit! Then punch his face with my other hand with a brass knuckle.
"Give me all your loot, asshole!"
Then incinerate his face with fire breath because why not.

Dancing Grape Golem knows exactly what to do.

Murderize!(2) vs. Dodge!(6-1=5)

The Dancing Grape Golem twirled and failed to hurt Blue at all, who parried the katana strike with his chainsaw, one-handed. It was admittedly difficult to do so one-handed, but it was a parry, not a strike.

I Cast Fist!(2) vs. Dodge!(5-1=4)

Much the same thing happened with Dave Blade's brass knuckled punch.

Chain!(6)

Dave Blade didn't like that at all. In a rather hasty manner, he blew out flame.

Incinerate!(6-1=5)

Perhaps his hastiness worked in his favor...

Dodge!(3-1=2)

Flames washed over Blue.

Damage Resist!(4-2(chest)=2 for chest, 4 for elsewhere)

Blue felt his hasty paper bandage come undone, and winced as things got even worse. He had got to get that bolo in the pit!
~~~
William A. Drango noticed a whirling corpse coming at him.

Spin!(2) vs. Dodge!(5)

William figured this was an opportunity.

Opportunity!(5)

If he timed it just right... William reached out and grabbed the Tier 2 bow Grimmy had from his spinning body. Meanwhile Grimmy's spinning corpse span away...
~~~
"So, apparently the number 42 is an important number in your culture. Something about the meaning of life. So let me give your life a little more meaning by challenging you to think about the meaning of my game. The contestant who supplies me with the best poem about this game will win a Scroll of Mulligan, which can be used to exchange any one loot item you have for another loot of the same Tier!"
~~~
Statuses:

Spoiler: Dave Blade (click to show/hide)

Health: Fine

Tier 1 Items: Law Brass Knuckles, Music Note Engraved Hatchet

Tier 2 Items: Mysterious Ugly Pendant, Mysterious Hephaestus Ring, Vomit Frog Shotgun(0/2 shots)+Bag of Shells, Dancing Grape Golem(wielding wood clubs and Grape Juice Coated Katana(non-loot))  Wand of Hearts and Horseshoes

Location: Center Circle

Spoiler: BLUE THE SUPER AWESOME (click to show/hide)

MY HEALTH STATUS: PAINFUL BURNED AND SLASHED RIBS(-2 TO CHEST DAMAGE RESIST, OH NO!, BLEEDOUT IN 2 TURNS, -1 TO WILLPOWER FROM PAIN), EXTREME HAM(ACT OUT ALL THE HAM, TAKE HAM ACTIONS, SUCH HAM! HAAAAM!!!), LIMP(-20 TO INIT, SLOW MOVEMENT, -1 TO DODGE), BURNED, CUT, AND BROKEN ARM(NEAR IMPOSSIBLE TO TAKE TWO-HANDED ACTIONS, ONE ARM NON-USABLE, -2 TO ARM DAMAGE RESIST, KATANA STUCK IN ARM)

ANNOYING BUT STILL EPIC TIER 1 LOOT: MYSTERIOUS BOLO OF EXTREME MYSTERIOUSNESS(NEXT TO PIT! PUSH IT IN, ME!)

DEFINITELY EPIC TIER 2 LOOT: SUPER AWESOME CHAINSAW OF MUSICAL MYSTERIOUSNESS, NO LONGER MYSTERIOUS EARTHY INTRICATELY INSCRIBED FURRY FOX PAW BOOTS OF MYSTERIOUS AWESOME(ONE OF THEM GASHED)(I'M WEARING THEM!)

WHERE I AM: CENTER OF MAP

Spoiler: Raphael (click to show/hide)

Health: Fine, Small Cut On Arm(-1 to left arm damage resist)

Tier 0 Items: Katana(non-loot)(stuck in Blue's ravaged arm)

Tier 1 Items: Controllable Red Scarf,

Tier 2 Items: Mysterious Disintegrating Tundra Crystal Orb, Mysterious Trumpet

Location: Center Circle

Spoiler: Frank (click to show/hide)

Health: Fine

Tier 1 Items: Empty Potions Belt(white potion(drunk), orange-pink potion(drunk), gold potion(drunk))

Tier 2 Items: Malfunctioning(each time used, roll a malfunction die) Damaged(-1 to crossbow damage resist) Artistic Electrical Crossbow+Quiver of Bolts, Mysterious Chalice of Acid and Mystery

Location: Center Circle

Spoiler: Grimmy's Whirling Corpse (click to show/hide)

Health: Dead, Missing Left Arm, Whirling Corpse(chance to attack random people for next turn, can choose a person to be more likely to be attacked each turn)

Location: Center Circle

Spoiler: Manticore (click to show/hide)

Health: Fine, Friended

Tier 2 Items: Friend Damaged Shifting Gauntlet(-1 to damage resist)(wrapped around foot)

Location: Center Circle

Spoiler: Capko Eagleson (click to show/hide)

Health: Fine

Tier 1 Items: Mysterious Chicken Dinner in Paper Sack(chicken crumbs, empty styrofoam cup of mashed potatoes, empty styrofoam cup of gravy, plastic cutlery, a paper plate)

Location: South Plains, Dark Wizard's Lair

Spoiler: Incompetent Dark Wizard (click to show/hide)

Health: Fine

Tier 0 Items: Robe, Wizard Hat

Location: South Plains, Dark Wizard's Lair

Spoiler: William A. Drango (click to show/hide)

Health: Fine

Tier 1 Items: Gold Pocket Watch of Gold Transformation(1 turn cooldown, cooling down)

Tier 2 Items: Slightly Damaged(50% of -1 to damage resist) Healing Russian Longbow+Quiver of Arrows

Location: Center Circle

If you notice any mistakes(especially with the statuses), please let me know. This also applies if you have any tips for improving my writing.

Don't forget the loot poetry contest!

[Coolrune206]

((I uhhh... can't see my action?))

[Yottawhat]

Huh.

Move away from the whirling corpse and take a shot at Blue with my longbow.

[NAV]

"Is everyone I try to kill related to Rasputin?"
Get that bolo and stop it from falling in the pit. Then chop at Blue's good hand with my hatchet and do everything I can to obtain his chainsaw.

"Sorry, I don't do poetry."

[FallacyofUrist]

((I uhhh... can't see my action?))

((Well, I didn't see it... but Grimmy didn't attack you anyways. I'll add in a thing about you preparing to dodge.))

[Coolrune206]

Frank nods thoughtfully at the announcement, ignoring the spinny corpse of un-death.

"A world apart in both logic and function,
where every attempt at success is met with dysfunction,
this land, full of pain and agony,
where all players are in constant antagony.

Humans bleed wounds yet feel it not,
where many attacks are for aught,
with a fixation on strangeness galore,
yet I simply can't wait for more."

He then tries to remember how to combine items (because he hasn't been paying attention very well), and combines them on the spot if he can; if not, he heads to the location he has to be at to do that thing.

[OceanSoul]

This may be my swan song, so I'll just limp over to knock the bolo in the pit, reciting the poem. Looter's Delight is a game of random generation, so the poem should involve that, too. I'll use Flabort's generator for this. I'll go down one table after each individual word generation.

Spoiler: Sorta long, at 4 stanzas (click to show/hide)

Oh, where else should one go for fetching
Objects of power, even Korean Screeching?
With them in hands, who could not gloat
about their bulletproof, lunar Trenchcoat,
or that they weren't the one,
who couldn't hold a candle
with their pois'nous bronze Longsword Without a Handle?
For that is the fun.
(the rest of this was in only one cell in the table)
One man's own Controlling Tower Shield,
to which even Gungauntlets would soon yield,
would protect from nearly all harms; 
but Shotguns Duct-taped To His Arms!
then made him drop his guard.
he soon died to the vows
of one with High School Massive Eyebrows.
He was, truly, a card.

Some people get their luck as a flood;
Filled with Hard-To-Kill Lizardman Blood
was a Guy With Way Too Many Guns
fighting only men with but one Sun's
Flower of color Pink
made of Agate, precious stone
mixed with Ivory, a treasure unfound
In this grandeur time sink.

Oh, no sense permeates this ritual,
born from Wwolin's generation fall.
Paper burned, the Loot Dimension lost,
and we still feel the same, eternal cost.
Gen'rators will still come,
Leading men to sin
for Loot only, by those trapped within
This game of zero sum.

[GigaGiant]

Kick the Wizard in the stomach, then steal his hat and get out of there.

[ATHATH]

A note flies out of Grimmy's pocket as he spins. It reads:

"Looter's Delight: A Haiku

Murder kill maim screech
Loot steal plunder win triumph
Death failure lose end"

Accept Friend Cloak as my lord and savior... Then use my superior RAGE/willpower to use its possessive connection to me to possess it (Friend Cloak), rather than the other way around.

[FallacyofUrist]

Looter's Delight: A Haiku

Murder kill maim screech
Loot steal plunder win triumph
Death failure lose end"

Would you mind if I made this my new sig?

[Person]

Kill Blue with the Katana damn it!

(I was gonna do a haiku but ATHATH got to it before me. They made a pretty good one though.)